happiness

I like my music so loud I can’t hear my thoughts

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote Anon.

We are a musical family. My record player is blasting from the kitchen, in the car the base is always turned up and even in bed I often hit Spotify for some relaxing melodies to drift me off to the land of nod, bath music is often classical and did I mention music in the garden too. However, one thing is true – I adore my music turned up loud.

My personal music collection is eclectic and I tend to pick a different genre depending on the time of day, mood I’m in or mood I wish to create.

There is also a power in the silent moment of life which id like to acknowledge and have previously written about. However, when my mind is overloaded with lists of things to do, or if I’m building myself up for the day ahead – I often quieten my brain with my music turned up LOUD. I am totally a karaoke car Queen. I also thankful to Bluetooth, which means people now think I’m on the phone rather than giving myself a pep talk, raving, jiving or am a pop princess. Sometimes I make up lyrics to classical pieces (warning this is a simple way to destroy the power of Mozart in seconds), however if you often get anxious, are an over thinker or generally find your brain a hard place to be then music can be a pleasant vacation; you also don’t need to prebook via a travel agent, it’s often free and jet lag never occurs. In my opinion the louder the better helps to push away the outside distractions and internal frustrations.

How do you use music to control your emotions?

Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being you.

~ Fridgesays ~ 30 Comments

Quote by Wayne Dyer.

As we approach the end of the first month of 2018, I felt this quote resonated with every human on the planet who had set a new goal, challenge or New Years resolution. Particularly those who have already hung up their gym pass, quit the diet or has found their soul drowned in another bowl of soup… it happens.

For goal setting targets I’ve written several posts Click here to read why it pays to be stubborn but at perhaps a time that you have ‘failed’ ‘given up’ or realised that dry January isn’t an excuse to drink gin for a month (*I was sad when I heard this too) I want to remind you that you are awesome just the way you are. Sounds sickly I know, but it’s true. You are good at being you. I promise that if you have kids they love our imperfections and all; although I wouldn’t directly ask them. This week I curled my hair and my son (four years old) told me I looked like Rapunzel. As a Disney fan I was blown away – until he corrected me that it was the witch he was thinking of.

I don’t want to bring my children up in a world where perfection is ‘plastic fantastic’ where desirable looks can only be accomplished by a thousand filters and the social media acceptance of an abundance of hearts, likes and comments. I don’t want humans to become robotic and only come in ‘one size fits all’, our imperfections create our beauty.

We all have talents that vary from scientist geniuses, medicinal wizards and international superstars… I make a fantastic roast, can occupy a toddler in a car for multiple hours and give good hugs (not all at the same time), I make a good friend, kind teacher and feel accomplished most days.

As we jump into February I urge you to take five minutes, pour a coffee and write a list of everything you like about yourself. I advise you to be kind to yourself; treat yourself to those new jeans, the shoes or that ‘thing’ that floats your boat. If I was a doctor I would prescribe you with a luxury treatment, a trip to the cinema, or a date night that’s overdue… if you have a new born then I’m adding a hot drink to that prescription. Allow February to be the month you made time for self love, for gratitude for all you do have. I promise it’s more than most.

You’re the best and being you. You’re already winning in 2018, you don’t need to change a thing.

Make it pop like pink Champagne.

~ Fridgesays ~ 32 Comments

Quote from the lyrics of Ariana Grande. I’m totally using this quote as an excuse to open a bottle of pink bubbles (you know for photography authenticity)

I have a secret, which if you ever met me isn’t the greatest secret ever. In my head I am a fairy. When I first met Mr F he named part of my personality as ‘Fairy’, this is the ditzy blonde, petite and often totally mistaken element of me, this is the part of me that didn’t realise that cars gave way on roundabouts in the UK to the right…until I had at least ten years of driving experience (I just thought people were kind) and Mr F pointed this out…ops! Fairy is also identified when I sing the wrong lyrics out loud incorrectly clueless to my own error, when I suddenly realise that things aren’t pronounced or therefore spelt how I thought they were for the last thirty years; examples include ‘Ham bags’ (leather…meat, it made sense in my head?) or that I drove through Blackwall Tunnel for several years oblivious to the Thames water over my head.

However, my definition of me as a fairy is magical. I have secret powers. Technically, we all have these powers but I harness them whilst many wallow in misery and self doubt…the secret power I possess is that I fully believe that the thoughts I have become my reality. I notice my thoughts, pay attention to them and go out of my way to avoid negative people. I am mindful in how I perceive others and more importantly myself. I don’t let myself indulge in ‘mindLESS’ entertainment on TV. I continuously cultivate my mind daily. Some days I am successful, other days I don’t always fully succeed – but I always go to sleep reflecting on what I did do well.

A few weeks a go I went to a funeral of a lovely member of my family. She was such a huge character and as I reflected on how grateful I was to have had her in my life. I realised that in other conversations around the room people chatted of mundane tales of life and that the highlights were sharing tales of her that made us laugh, giggle and reflect. Stories that stirred a ‘Pop pink Champagne’ reaction within us. Listening to the fizz and delight of life (seriously how lovely is that noise), perhaps you are more a ‘cold pint with moustache’ kinda dude or a warming ‘mulled wine’ worldly woman – what ever life’s tipple is, shouldn’t that be a daily goal for us all? * I’m not suggesting we all become alcoholics, this is just an analogy, I am suggesting that we make time to enjoy life even in the bleaker moments.

As a Fairy, I am 100% a pink Champagne popping princess. This analogy isn’t about financial wealth, but to me a quality product, with an edge (its pink), with a beauty, vitality and energy (the pop), an energy that makes others who sample its delight feel special. A treat. For me an indulgent necessity.

Pink Champagne is chilled, it knows when to make noise (back to the pop again) and when to settle in the glass, when to tingle of the tongue – best of all, it looks at life through rose tinted ‘glasses’ and always makes me want to dance. Its this description of life that I aspire to.

What’s your tipple of life?

Where focus goes energy flows

~ Fridgesays ~ 17 Comments

Quote by Tony Robbins

Every now and then I write because I feel like I can’t breathe if I don’t let my fingers dance across the key board. This blog, my corner of the internet is something I’m so proud of. I’ve tinkered with various platforms over the years, but always in collaboration with others. This space is about being authentic to creating my very own brand, and within the words of its contents often lays my soul. This years blog goal came when I was walking the dog, I knew I was getting comfortable and needed to ‘step up’ my energy, the flowing result was my weekend linky with a wonderful blogging friend Hayley. The next step is even bigger and not yet fully defined, but 2018 will sparkle for whatmyfridgesays.

A few months a go, I set a goal – to love my house. It has never been love at first sight, it was more ‘it will do’, it made me sad and I can’t explain why but since moving in here in 2010 its been a struggle. One of the biggest issues that I had was my utter hatred for my kitchen (first world problems perhaps) I love to cook, every Christmas I would be in a space that made me sad and didn’t reflect the joy I poured into my food. I had a vision that I would never cook a Christmas meal in that space again. With a combination of struggle, a blessed cheque from parents, my own savings and squirrelling like a jar of Nutella, I can finally type that we are sooooo nearly there. The tradesmen have taken their tools and dusty boots and despite the fact that every square inch of our home is dusty and in need of a deep clean, my kitchen is shaping up to be just how I imagined it could sparkle. I’m very grateful to family and friends who have helped up to get to this stage, sometimes it takes a tribe to build a home. On a personal note I can honestly say that I’m beginning to see love reflected within the walls of our house, I guess sometimes like human relationships, love is complex. However, I also know that my energy and focus has been directed to this very goal.

I hold another dream for my son. I want to show him as much of the world as possible, to create memories and experiences – not things. Over the next few months we have planned and saved to provide him with some wonderful moments and I can’t wait to stand next to him and see it through his eyes. You don’t get second chances with children, they are only little for such a small amount of time before they fly the nest. I want the reflections of his nest to be full of love, memories and enriching experiences, not ‘should haves and buts’. I’m a true believer that if you can think it you can make it happen, that excuses are convenient diversions and that as I walk into 2018 I feel very accomplished.

Of course, now I fully understand the power of my energy, my thoughts and my flow, the outcome and goals for 2018 promise to be even sparklier, through the last month of 2017 I plan to write in my gratitude diary (as I always do) but I also plan to make the year ahead even better, even sparklier and full of as much laughter as possible. What are your plans for the year ahead?

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Anon

Despite the fact it’s still November consumerism seems to be taking hold of the nation/globe following Black Friday…the Friday sale that lasts a fortnight. Christmas chatter has taken over many blog posts and is the topic of conversation in our staffroom. Panic sweeps the nation. And I stay firm. I will not get swept into a frenzy on what I’m doing, got to do or who I haven’t bought for (the answer is nobody yet). There is plenty of time. However, I adore Christmas and refuse for it to become a burden. I stand firm in a smile. When asked how I feel about ‘all the catering’ I reply with a smile and say it’s an honour to have family to feed. I am not a saint but I know one thing to be true. Being happy really does drive other people  nuts. “Ohhh I don’t know how you can be so relaxed, I ordered the Turkey in June” hehe…yup and I was busy enjoying the start of summer.

It also means that for the people I dislike, hate and wish would disappear I increase my sparkle, smiles and graces – why? Because it pisses them off and reflects the stress and chaos back at them. I will not absorb negativity from them. It’s my super power and a skill that you should consider as a New Years resolution – forget weight loss, make 2018 the year you choose to be happy.

I choose happy because it makes me happy, it makes others happy and it’s contagious.

Christmas Day will come and go whether I stress or not. The dust will gather again from the moment I flick the duster, the bills will get paid and all those tasks on the ‘to do list’ will eventually be over taken with other tasks and thousands of other ‘to do lists’ but for now I am blissfully happy drinking a hot cup of tea after an intense yoga session, and for now and for always ‘I choose happy’ (and tea) (same thing)

Have you ever picked positivity as a power to piss others off?

Be different babe

~ Fridgesays ~ 32 Comments

Quote Anon

During my time at university I house shared with four other girls. We were all pretty amicable and we took it in turns to cook and weekly shopped together. It was during this time that I learnt there are a million ways to cook Spaghetti Bolognese that are nothing like my Mum would do. Adding mushrooms was fine and something I’d consider adding now, carrots seemed very amicable and almost Italian until one chick added what can only be described as ‘bendy’ carrots and we had to have a word with her. Ultimately it wasn’t fair on our stomachs lining and the carrots had escaped the pot long enough to be put to rest in a refuse centre somewhere far away. (R.I.P bendy carrots)

What I learnt was the old phrase of ‘there are more ways than one to skin a cat’ or in this case, cook a mid week spag bog. (Way more animal friendly when using Quorn, sorry cat lovers).

At the moment social media is enjoying looking at gender in young children and making comments on the toys they should and shouldn’t have, I think there is also a blogger who has written about her son being denied a princess Disney experience. So, as a blogger I thought I’d give my opinion on the topic – I couldn’t give a crap.

I don’t care if my son, or any child of any gender, non gender or polka dot gender wants to play with a pink sparkly doll or a transformer. I eat Yorkie chocolate bars on principle that they are advertised as ‘not for girls’ and all I actually care about is that my son is happy and healthy, or any other polka dot child previously mentioned. Be different babe, or don’t be different – it doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy. Some people love to be unique and others strive to fit in, some bubble along in the middle. Ultimately, society will judge (me included, especially after a GnT) and thats okay too. Whats not okay if for me to force my opinion on you to a point where you feel you need to change. Freedom of speech / rights are lovely phrases that comes with A LOT of really important small print. Ultimately you can squeeze it down to several sentences:

  • You CAN say what you want BUT you can’t offend someone
  •  Slander can get you in prison (and rightly so)
  • If nobody asked you for your opinion keep it to yourself, oh and the classic parenting quote ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’

Over the last few weeks millions of children will start new schools, colleges and Universities, over the last month parents have argued with those children as they battle to find ‘the right school shoes’ or the bag that is acceptable. I even heard a child crying in a local supermarket as her Mum was insistent on buying her ‘the wrong’ skirt. She wanted the one with the bow in the middle; don’t tell her Mum but the kid was right, it was way cuter with the bow. Anyway, I digress, the point I’m making is that many of those people will make fake friends as they battle like sardines to find a place to belong, any place – just to feel like they fit in…except they wont belong, the good news is they will form friendships by Christmas that are based on things that matter like shared interests, morals and the ability to make each other laugh, oh and the girl in the supermarkets Mum will be right, the bow will also have dropped off by Christmas and I totally understand why she isn’t paying an extra £3 for it.

I selected this quote for its simplicity and frankly I agree ‘Be different babe’ but if you don’t want to be different thats okay, just don’t feed me bendy carrots.


 

She’s a Queen bee with a little bit of savage

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote by R.h.Sin

Oh hello wonderful quote! This time we aren’t talking Beyonce (for once) but instead the female ability to flip from princess to distress in seconds. Having conceived a little male monster I can also confirm there is no gender bias here and I have 100% experienced this with him, today he has cried over:

  • His cheese wasn’t cheesy enough
  • Putting on his shoes to go to the park
  • leaving the park
  • being asked to pick his toys up
  • being told its bed time

and then within seconds smiling and giggling like the dude he usually is.

I’m specifically focusing on female diva’s because I’d like to share some new research that I’ve recently learnt and found totally sparkly. I did the research because I work in an all girl secondary school. This means that with approximately 1,250 uterus’s a hormonal melt down can be happening at any moment (most moments) between the hours of…well all hours.

My Mr F jokes that during my period (yup I wrote the word down) I could literally get away with murder, a quick google and sure enough there are several cases where due to extreme mental and hormonal surges women have killed and not served a sentence because they were ‘deemed emotionally unstable’. Men you have been warned and ladies I’m guessing this doesn’t surprise us. I can usually see a pattern in the older girls that I work with on a regular basis and their menstrual cycle, how they are feeling / the volume of tissues I’m going through in that week.

So I came across an article that led me to another article that I’d love to quote (but didn’t save, sorry) that taught me that the moon and our cycles are at one with each other. Given that the moon controls the oceans tides and spending time with our female bestie means our cycles can synchronise, again it wasn’t a huge surprise – it just wasn’t something I’d ever considered.

*Incidentally while we are getting all ‘moon chat’ (yup thats a thing now) my son is convinced that the moon is made of cheese and you can ‘taste the rainbow’ – the power of advertising…

So, in essence there are four dramatic changes in the cycle of the moon

  • Quatre Phase
  • wax
  • full
  • wane

Of course we don’t all synchronise on the same phase of the moon, so different patterns in fertility and menstruation have different effects and different women. See even the moon is diverse; from Wax where women tend to feel inwards and self-nourishing. It’s meant to be an awesome time to think, to learn, to read, and to plan. So any big plans beyond our uterus, wait for a Wax moon. To a full moon which is meant to symbolise fire, abundance, power and vitality, these are just snippets of whats out there…and now a dash of hope, according to a further google you can coordinate and sync your period to coincide with a better moon cycle for yourself. So if you are having a hard time with mother nature and aren’t part of a Native American tribe where you can go to a hut away from everyone and relax, you can at least move to a more convenient moon cycle.

Wherever you are in your cycle or if you’re a gentlemen tip toeing around the female members of your household, bare in mind the moon may have a part to play in her temporary moment of savage and she’ll soon be back on top and a Queen Bee. I guess we can also just be too tired and a little hungry, having days where we don’t want to play and thats okay too. In this corner of the internet I will always preach that we all need to be a little gentler to ourselves no matter what our race, gender, religion or postcode…or today how the moon causes us to feel.

Moon hugs.x


 

 

You gotta nourish to flourish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Every now and then I see a quote and it lights my universe. 

At the moment I am planning kitchen renovations and I wouldn’t mind this little quote hanging somewhere? Food for thought (See what I did there)

Nourish according to the dictionary means ‘to provide food or the opportunities for people to grow and be in good condition’ 

If I’m honest when I see the word nourish I think of food, but what else do we need?

Self belief: if you can dream it, then you can make it happen. This is essential not just to be able to flourish but to be able to sustain any kind of growth (and that includes happiness) 

Drive and desire: these are easy to have and harder to actually make happen. Usually because they require us to get out of our comfort zone and perhaps even take a risk or two. I’ve found since becoming a parent that often the risk is scarier because of my son. However, surely the dream is always ultimately the better finish line for him to see me arrive at?

Tribe: a good family, neighbours, work colleagues and friends all help to make a little ‘you’ community. When the chips are down, don’t panic – team ‘you’ will be there like a giant pillow of love and comfort – looking around and it’s a bit sparse, no problem, sometimes the harder moments let us know which team members require demotion. 

Wellbeing: be it physical or mental you need to make your health number one. Balance is key to this; I’ve written thousands of posts on the issue so for more info read everything I’ve ever written, pretty much – give or take a gratitude post, oh…

Gratitude: a sprinkle of thanks and a piece of humble pie can not only make you a favourite amongst your tribe but you’ll find you manifest and receive even more than you thought possible…seriously Beyoncé and all the big divas are always thanking the people that surround them. 

P.s. Not such a big diva as Queen B but thanks for reading and I hope you leave a little more nourished. If not, what area do you need to step it up in? 

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Know your worth and then add tax 

~ Fridgesays ~ 40 Comments

Okay, so this quote from Anon is going straight into my top twenty of self love quotes! (Yes, that’s right people I used an exclaimation mark) 

I recently posted a YouTube post on my facebook wall from Kristina Kuzmic (link here because it’s well worth a look), I love her feisty vibe and so once you’ve taken a peep imagine I too am sitting in a bubble bath of joy with a glass in my hands as tall as the Eifle Tower. (* reality disclaimer: no drink, sat at the top of the stairs hiding from my family so I can write in peace) 

This YouTube clip combined with this quote makes me feel like Beyoncé on stage in her element. It’s absolutely crucial that as role models of the human race we all make ourselves number one. Why? Because this in turn allows us to serve others (loved ones and the odd  stranger who may need a helping hand) way better. When I’ve had some ‘me time’ I literally can take on the world. It allows me to gain a better perspective on the state of the universe and at the same time prevents me from starting arguments / world wars over how towels are folded, toilet seats left up and all those other household triggers. This in turn makes me easier and way more accommodating to live with. 

But there is a second bonus: my health is better as a result of indulging in myself. I’m emotionally stable (*kind of) and physically healthier. So how do I make time…I ask others to help me out. Whether that be an evenings child care / grandparent indulgence, or I ask Mr F to take over while I sit on the stairs and get this written. 

I also don’t priorities housework and chores over myself. I sometimes wake up earlier to do yoga, read or listen to a podcast when helping hands aren’t available, sometimes when I’m not too exhausted from work I stay up a little later. At other times I seize opportunities to walk the dog and leave the house… I promise whatever your situation if you prioritise you can always find five minutes, you could even start with three.

So, I have a few questions… 

  • Do you make time for yourself?
  • How do you make the time?
  • What do you do with the time?

I swear I’m 95 years old and I seem to choose a hot bubbly bath, time to read, time to write, to sit and drink a HOT cup of tea, some yoga or a sneaky GnT… so if my worth is time to write then surely the tax is a gin and tonic 🙂 stay happy and make yourself number one.