Be stubborn about your goals…

Quote by William A Donohue

Today I wanted some time to write, I booked Daddy to step in for a cheeky hour so that I could edit and do all those ‘concentrating’ bits without J pulling for my attention. Time to write was my goal – the method however turned out very different. J doesn’t nap anymore (*biggest parent sigh ever) and this morning we hit the shops for some new shoes for his ever growing feet, on the journey home a miracle occurred – J fell to snoozy sleep in the car. After your first week of being a parent the phrase ‘never wake a sleeping baby’ is sacred and should be treated with extra tip toe care – this 100% extends to toddlers. So, with this is mind I’m now sitting on our drive way, tanning my legs out of the car door, achieving my goal of writing and in the back of the car is my snug content little dude. This example is exactly what I think this quote is about.

My bestie and her boyfriend set three mini goals a day. The method of how they achieve them is fluid. It’s a winning formula that so many of us miss because ‘that’s not how we saw it in our heads’…whilst hesitating your objective can be easily lost.

If like me you’re slightly obsessed with lists then you too will know that ticking them off is satisfactory but how you reach them is immaterial to the satisfaction of the flick of the tick.

That’s not to say you should ever sacrifice your goal or dreams, no matter how big they are.If you’re house hunting for a three bedroom house in a particular area with a specific price range – that’s what you want. Don’t shift – stay stubborn. It’s nearly always worth a drop of patience for the things you really want in life, but as the quote suggests flexibility in the method may mean you actually purchase a four bedroom house for the price and in the location of your previous goal…who doesn’t want a little more space?

This week take things as fluid as you can, set goals from emptying the laundry basket to world domination but don’t worry or get caught up with the minor details about how you arrive at your destination, sometimes things work out much better the way you never intended, for example I now have tanned legs and another post written. (tick)


Broken crayons still colour 

Quote from Trent Shelton, an American Football player and someone I’m a little envious of. Not for his skills on the field, God no; I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with those, it’s this quote.

Every now and then I read a quote and wish I’d thought of it. This is genius in simplicity and has a flawless execution.

In life we all have defining moments, experiences or levels of ability that can have a negative impact on us.

Or we can be a broken crayon; altered by the process but still a crayon of colour and delight. I guess how we handle the events or abilities is our decision and perhaps is more powerful than the event or ability itself.

When our little girl passed away just days after she was born, we became the new parents without the need to push a pram. We became people that had something horrendously negative happen to them that they could never have expected. The days following her death were hard to get through and seven years on I’m still envious of anyone who has a daughter by their side. Anniversaries are always uncomfortable and I’ve learnt that there will always be ‘firsts’ that we will all miss out on experiencing. But I am not the grieving parent you may think, I rarely write about her and am always positive about the experience. As my first born she made me a ‘Mummy’ if only for a short time. She taught me about compassion, the grieving process and what real friendship looked / felt like. The experience took my fuscia pink crayon and with my heart snapped it in two…but I still colour with it and I don’t feel the need to show everyone the contents of my pencil case. I refuse to be defined by one experience or labelled accordingly.

This September I gained a new pupil in school who is by societies need to categorise her ‘Autistic’, when talking to her Mum she spoke of *Daisys needs and *Daisys ways, like they were personality traits of hers rather than of Autism and it was in this moment that her crayon radiated from the box. Autism became irrelevant and just as it should *Daisy shone with her own likes/dislikes just like every other child in my classroom or crayon in the box. Call me sentimental but they just endeared me to her all the more.

The end of a relationship and the inevitable heart break that follows is another time in our lives where in that moment you feel distorted and even question the most basic of tasks. I remember finding it difficult to breath – which is crazy as looking back the best thing that ever happened to me was losing that brown pooh crayon of doom.

I guess we are all crayons, some with our labels peeled and others dented from the impact of life in the pencil case. At times we may get broken but remembering we all have the CHOICE to still colour the most vibrant of pictures is essential to our quality of life.

So to all my stubby ends, peeled peers and lost pooh brown crayons of doom – life beyond the brand new box goes on, make your picture extra radiant and fill the page each and everyday using both your positive and negative experiences for the better.

If you was a crayon what colour would you be? Id be a limited edition glitter pink creation called something wonderful like ‘Flamingo fever’
*Daisys name was altered to protect her identity. 

You are enough 

Quote Anon
Reading my posts you can probably tell I’m an upbeat woman who can solve most things with a pair of high heels (the higher the better) and a swipe from a lipgloss wand, incidentally I love the quiet popping noise when you pull the gloss wand from its container…I digress, however, you’ll also know I’m a natural motivator and am hugely competitive with myself. If I can better my health, wealth, relationships, career or purchase a product that can do the job more efficiently I’m first in line. I don’t really have dreams – I have goals. Driving those goals to the finish line requires daily hard work, dedication and surrounding myself with like minded people

And that’s where it gets hard. Society is sooo hard on itself. I am enough right now. That doesn’t mean I can’t improve, it just means I love myself enough to give myself a break. It means I aspire to be more but still love where I am – and I know I’m lucky to feel this way because interacting with work colleagues, friends and family it seems self hate has become the norm. Lunch in the staffroom always involves someone commenting on their own eating habits, weight or the current diet trend. It’s exhausting.

It’s a poison that is slowly contaminating our wonderful children, sadly they grow up and somewhere along the line they lose their inhibitions, judge themselves with dark lenses as the rose tinted, happy go lucky attitudes of early years fall to the floor. Cracked and fragmented, disjointed and doubtful if what they can achieve.

Its the daily doubt that so many people who I see positive qualities in don’t recognise within themselves.

I guess what I’d like to say is, if someone else can love you how you are right now – you can love yourself too. In this very moment. For some this is hard, others it seems impossible. So how can you alter your self love dial to full on?

 I’m a great advocate of Lousie Hayes ‘Mirror work’ a quick surf through the web will give you detailed instructions, but in essence you begin by looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you. 

At first I can guarantee it’s totally cringe worthy and at times you laugh or someone else in the house thinks you are taking to them (awkward) but after a while it feels empowering and is rather addictive. 

You can extend this by telling yourself what you love or are grateful for. You may hate your belly but do you love your boobs? If so, look in the mirror and let your chest know. It’s working practice but I promise it’s worth it.

If the mirror seems too much to begin with you can simplify it by playing a little game. 

Every time I say something negative (my thighs are too large) I then say in my head something that I like (my eyes are beautiful) and over time you’ll find you don’t need to verbalise the negatives and as a result they reduce and self appreciation can prosper

A variation of this is to list the things you like, are grateful for and enjoy. 

However you feel about you in the moment please know that you are enough. That someone loves you just how you are. That if you have young children -you are a superhero that can do no wrong, and that the belly you hate is what they love to hold most.

You are enough. 

If you only have one mantra this should be it. 

Let’s start by taking a nap or two

Quote from the classic bear that no babies nursery is complete without  – Winnie the Pooh 

Do you like to nap? Are you someone who likes to lay in at the weekend, go to bed early or just loves a snooze? 

Or are you the opposite? Someone who feels napping is lazy, sleep is for the weak and you could be doing something productive? I know many babies and young children that agree with the latter. The average parent loses 400 – 750 hours of sleep in the first year after having a baby. 

We know and certainly research suggests that napping is good for us. The optimum power nap for adults should be between 15-30 minutes.

Sleep or lack of, is a fascinating area of research that so many of us are too busy to read up on. Perhaps reading this you’re thinking ‘it would be lovely if I had the time’ and I hope reading those thoughts you can see the irony.

Sleep enhances our performance, our mental health and our overal wellbeing. 

I was a nightmare child who didn’t sleep through the night until I was seven (sorry Mum and Dad), I remember standing at the top of the staircase calling out and inventing excuses as to why I should come back downstairs (feeling thirsty and poorly tummy were my favourites) and as a result I don’t need much sleep as an adult. I am a morning person and not particularly a night time owl but around six hours is probably perfect for me. The average adult needs between 7.5 and 9 hours sleep per night, preferably uninterrupted. A lengthier night sleep can actually make you feel more tired and can result in a sleep hangover. No thanks, pass me the gin.

Humans are the only mammals that don’t take regular naps during the day. Thinking like that makes me think that Pooh had the right attitude. Most mammals take small 10-15minute naps throughout the day (my dog takes three to four 4hr naps throughout the day) although I’m not sure my classes would approve, it makes a huge amount of sense for productivity and quality of life.
Mattress quality is the next huge thing for sleep quality and back health. We are about to upgrade ours, with the average mattress lasting between 4 to 6 years and considering the amount of time you spend in it, it is worth investing in, we are a little overdue. The sleep council have more info on this should you require it. 

Taking some time out to think about your sleep routine and how you can enhance it is time well spent and may just make Monday mornings a little less stressful. Or instead you could use the time to nap. Either way you’ll be winning. 

What is your sleep pattern like?

Be a Mermaid and make waves 

As long term readers will know when I grow up I want to be a mermaid, anything vaguely mermaid related appeals to me and as I’ve grown older I’ve also realised that I want to live in tropical waters, I’ve watched enough episodes of ‘location location’ to know that ethos/environment matter; we’re talking clear water, tropical fish terrain not Brighton in the winter for I fear my shells would shrivel and if I’m honest my shell area is already on the petite size.

As a result this quote screamed out ‘oh use me – and why not write about the quote whilst you’re on holiday’ so here I am – writing. 

On the plane I’ve just watched a film called ‘The Boss’ with Melissa McCarthy and Kirsten Bell and it did make me giggle. The lead character is a feisty woman who see’s a vision (in this particular example by selling chocolate brownies) and goes for it. I thought of the quote instantly ‘make a splash’ – how many of us hold back, may be only slightly in case our splash is too large and it may make others wet or in the real world ‘piss people off’ or perhaps like me we hide behind excuses of being busy, a full time mum – you name it I’ve used it. Why? Because what if my splash doesn’t resemble Ariels in The Little Mermaid and is just a puddle… 

Fear however if far worse than any puddle…when you have a puddle at least you know a cloud did its job and rained, or more likely in my home – mummy broke the tap and flooded the joint. It doesn’t matter how the puddle arrived, someone somewhere helped it to happen, someone did something. Fear however can be paralysing, fear stops dreams in its tracks and turns a splash from a mermaid into…empty rocks.

So may be I’m not a Mermaid (yet) although beach permitting I’ll be giving it my best shot and may be I’ll never fulfil all my dreams but I’m going to give it a damn good go. 

One of my plans whilst I’m away is to write in my journal and I also want to blast through some new books that I’ve packed…

Like the start of a new year, a holiday is a great time to return refreshed and re-energised and ready to step it up and make some waves, and who knows I might even start to grow a fin or a glimmer of scales whilst I’m away?

What are your dreams and what are your ‘Wave’ blocks preventing you from fulfilling the ultimate big splash?