Month: June 2022

Follow the calling not the crowd

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

I remember when I was in year 9 parents evening and a PE teacher gave me some sage advice that I’ve passed on as a teacher many times. Her name was Ms Deacon and she said ‘pick the options (GCSE) that you like and think about enjoyment, don’t worry about the future – enjoy the moment’ and it was great advice because we all do better in areas that interest us. Unsurprisingly to any of you that know me it meant my timetable for year 10 was heavy on the arts and ultimately I left proud of the grades I achieved. She also warned me against following my friends choices and I’ve seen many year 9s fall into the trap of ‘following the crowd’ or choosing options or even school, college or university choices based on where there friends are going.

In a world where we are all trying to leave our mark, where diversity is beginning to be valued…we often just want to fit in and camouflage with our fellow humans around us for comfort. To leave the crowd can be daunting and particularly when making education choices at a younger and vulnerable age we can forget our calling…the bespoke path that leads us to our purpose, or sometimes we struggle at the end of our life to know whether we found our purpose, our fulfilment our sense of contentment.

Lately two of my friends have taken a detour on life. One has sold the house, dumped the boyfriend and despite a world pandemic has bought a motor home and is fulfilling her solo travel dreams albeit a little slower than she would have liked. Another has given up her well paid PR career in London to start a family. This is in my opinion braver than it may seem as she currently has a husband but no baby on board…her plan is to detox from work life and focus on her health with the goal of them conceiving in the next eighteen months… I admire both of these people because they have abandoned the norm, thrown wind to what others think and followed their own calling. Materialism and finance have fallen lower in there priorities and a sense of both stepping out of there comfort zones for a potentially more fulfilling tomorrow are prioritised.

That to me is brave, however for them once they made the decision it all flowed effortlessly because it aligned with their pathway. The other great bonus of following your own desires is you meet more people that see the world the way you do. This week take a moment to think about what you’d like to achieve; this week, a year from now or five years from now….are you taking action for a life you want to live, or have you been trapped by the crowd? Shine in your uniqueness and thrive.

Waves are the ripples of the hard work that came before

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

This quote came from a thought in my head, an original fridgesays quote!

It may be because my horoscope is a water sign, that I’m a summer baby or that I live not to far from the sea but I am at home in water. I like to drink it, have bubble baths, swim, scuba dive, paddle, play, or just watch the tide…for authenticity, I don’t enjoy washing up.

Tidal waves are magnificent; the push and pull from the moon, the swish and swirls of the lapping sea as it consumes the beach in one big mouthful and then spits it’s out in a repellent manner, white foam bubbles around my toes as I timidly paddle (I’m based in the UK so even in summer the sea is like an ice box). I remember the first time I body boarded in Barbados (much warmer) and got to grips with the rhythm of the sea and where I needed to place and angle the board…hard work but so thrilling as the sea lifted me and catapulted my body to the shore effortlessly. I was addicted.

When you are working hard with a positive intention, when you know the purpose of the task at hand and aren’t doing for how it makes you look. When working hard helps others, then much like the ripple of a stone landing in a pond of still water – you can quickly see the ripple effect around the centre of where you put the action in.

I believe that when you apply hard work for the correct reasons, the ripple goes well beyond your knowing. Perhaps in time the ripples get larger or even less defined – they are still present and working for the greater good.

I once taught a sixteen year old girl in school who decided to increase her grade. She threw herself into the process fully even though her predicted grade was far lower, she wanted to take law at ‘A’ level, later through her career she wanted to help women like her mother who had struggled following domestic violence. She had a clear goal and so she threw herself into her studies and we revised daily – she would come to me for practise questions, take them home, bring them back and I’d mark them. She wasn’t happy until each question was better than the last. When it came to sitting the exam she was as calm as a tranquil lake, she knew what she had to do and I knew she could do it, how could she not?

This isn’t a suspense novel, so much like you thought – she smashed it. Her ripples went on to move her closer to her goal and now she has just completed her first year with a firm that advocates for the very cause she first threw her rock into the pond for. No doubt the action and clear vision she had at sixteen is still having a ripple effect today and everyday she helps victims of domestic violence be heard and seek justice.

The ripples don’t end in that pond, she inspired me beyond belief, her peers had nothing but praise for her and of course her mother wept on results day when she moved her grade up by four and got full marks. I retold her story and other pupils became intoxicated by the ripple effect. You see we don’t always see the full effects of our actions – she may not appreciate the gratitude of families surrounding the women she will continue to help, the pupils in younger classes who I shared her story with – perhaps even you will somehow be caught in the motion of her action. For you, this post won’t feel like hard work but flow – it may inspire you to take on a similar goal or to apply it to something aligned with your purpose, you may share this post with others and the ripples will continue.

Remember, hard work is just the first step but the legacy lives on beyond the furthest ripple.

You inspire me to be nothing like you

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

A sassy quote to start things off but perhaps a blog post that’s a little calmer…like, horizontal in contrast.

Lately I haven’t been writing as much, Sunday uploads have been inconsistent and I’m absolutely fine with that. I guess that’s the ‘to be nothing like you’ aspect of this post. Sometimes we keep going because we think we should, we feel obliged to join in with social gatherings even though we are shattered and about to burn out…and somewhere in between is the pure joy spot of balance. That’s the place I’ve been exploring lately, many are too busy being busy to see and feel it.

I need to be clear, I love consistency and think it has its place in reaching our goals but I also believe that if you keep going just so you can tell others you’re consistent then the goal probably isn’t worth the effort.

Work has been manic, my family’s social calendar also picked up a gear and I found myself unable to plan the next days meals as my brain drowned in admin and to do lists, I inhaled other peoples problems and exhaled more things to add to the to do list.

Lately, things have calmed down – mainly as I’ve scheduled time to do nothing. Life is too precious to burn out, part of that included not writing and uploading my blogs. Writing at times on a public forum such as this, could be perceived as draining, it certainly has its vulnerable moments. Like most writers, it often fills my cup up – I write messages I need to be reminded of, topics that interest me and events that penetrate my world, but like most things in the adult world it comes with responsibility and accountability and those aspects can be draining. I needed a break.

I’ve been writing in this corner of the internet since 2014. I wrote when blogging was a cool thing to do and I write now when perhaps social media reels and TikToks have taken its space. Again, I’m ok with that.

In the coming weeks I invite you to live in the sweet spot of joy. What do you do because you think you should and where can you create some space for what you need? Can you say no to drinks with friends because you’re exhausted? Or do you need to gather some friends around for such an event because you’ve become a hermit, which in itself can be draining.

Somewhere in the middle of the fast lane and the slow lane you’ll find the cruise lane. Cruising allows you to witness and experience life, without the burn out…what’s not to love? See ya next week…maybe