Makeup is art, beauty is spirit

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Dear son,

Approaching thirteen you asked me a question and I’m not sure I did the answer any justice. Instead, I’ve taken some time to scribble my words on the page and now I’m ready to share my answer.

You explained that the girls in your school are plastering on make up, drowning themselves in phenoxyethanol and benzophenomes (your high ability science and I don’t know what these are, but I get the gist), you told me the girls randomly stick mini stickers in the shape of stars, hearts and mushrooms that are meant to hide blemishes but as you eloquently point out, instead draw attention. You finish your confused monologue with ‘all to impress boys and Mum – we don’t like it’

This is what I wished I had said in that moment. It’s not about you. It’s never for boys.

My own story with makeup means you have seen very little modelled on your Mumma. I taught in an all girls school for over eleven years and began this in my mid twenties. I arrived at work daily with a face full of concealer, foundation, blush, mascara, sometimes eyeliner, sometimes eyeshadow and realised that as I preached at the front of the assembly hall on topics of self love, how as young women my girls should love themselves and not worry about others, I was hiding behind a mask myself. Realising my hypocrisy I scaled down my make up operation. I taught makeup-less most days, added concealer when required, a whisp of mascara when desired…but mainly I taught from a place of authenticity. I’m very blessed that my self love is high and doesn’t rely on external products. That isn’t the same for everyone.

Makeup can be fun and on a special occasion I will often use a variety of different shades to ‘enhance’ my features. That said, I have never once dressed or put makeup for boys. I don’t think your father notices if I wear mascara or not. I’m pretty certain he doesn’t, as I can come back from the hairdressers with a full head of highlights and he asks where I’ve been, it’s likely he doesn’t even know what mascara is. It’s never to attract boys, because you are right – generally, the male gaze isn’t keen on makeup.

The girls in your school are working out who they are. This is a deeply personal matter and society has added makeup as a step from girls world to womanhood. Like it or not, it’s there and it’s complex. For some it is a mask, it’s hides deep insecurities and for others it’s frivolous fun. Make up can come with a thousand connotations that as a boy – are none of your business.

If anything, the girls in your school are putting makeup on for other girls. I often dress for my female friends, I always dress to express and I always wear what I want…again with my content confidence I don’t worry about others nor if the outfit and the setting are appropriate and I’ve been cold more often that not because I always forget a coat and never dress practically. But I am happy…cold but happy. All of what I wear and how I present myself is my business.

The issue currently for you is that most girls are appalling at putting on makeup. Like, really bad. They are at the stabiliser part of riding a bike, it gets better in time but falling off in terms of makeup can look horrendous. If you had seen the drawn on eye brows of 2011 you to would have known where Crayola got this inspiration for the chiselled tip . In 2006 I taught in Essex and the fake orange tan smell across the school could put year nine boys to sleep – it may sound stereotypical but the previous white collared school shirts where autumnal shades of orange and brown were a very real thing. But it’s not your business. As their teacher it’s not my business.

What someone adds to their body is their concern only. All that matters is that you treat yourself with respect. By treating yourself with respect that in turn means you allow kindness to be spoken from your lips. If you see contours on a girls face that look like she’a playing cowboy and Indian’s – you do not need to say anything. You don’t even need to compliment a girl who has clearly invested hours of YouTube ‘how to’ videos and looks stunning…it’s still none of your business. You may become close to that girl or perhaps even be her boyfriend – still none of your business. Other peoples faces and fashions are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Instead, I can tell promise it gets better. The girls will take off their makeup stabilisers and learn how to blend, purchase the right products for them (and not something pushed by Tik-Tok algorithms ) in time the makeup in the room will feel less ‘loud’ to you. It’s just a phase and my gorgeous boy, puberty will have its own pathway for you, focus on you and always remain kind.

Love Mum x

Stay genuine, tables will turn

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Anon

In a topsy turvy world of power and control, being genuine is a quality to not only admire but to aspire to.

World politics are currently at a level of utter bananas. Everyone is unsure who to believe, who is speaking the truth or who actually has concerns abouts their communities best interests.

I cant control oil prices, land conservation or much like yourself decipher where truth is hiding. It’s easy to read headlines and feel powerless, overwhelmed and confused. All you can control is yourself, so be genuine.

You don’t have to read the headlines everyday if they cause you to feel too much. Be genuine in what you can handle and spend your time both seeking answers and ensure you are well. It’s ok to turn the radio down, or not start the day with a diet of trauma – if what you need is to get outside and fine joy in the simplicity of the seasons changing.

When you interact with anyone, your best friend or a human you’ve never met previously and may never see again – be genuine. In a world full of lies, show up in your own truth. My parents encouraged me as a mini tot that ‘if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything’ it’s cliche and of course there are times when despite feeling negative we need to shout out injustices but most of the time it serves us to seek peace and walk away.

Recently, I have noticed that in my own universe I’ve turned to creative outlets as a way of reducing screen time and to occupy my mind, but the added joy of crafts and building something is the dopamine you experience when you’ve completed a project. These added joyful chemicals in my brain also help to shut the noise of the world out and encourage inner peace. In turn, this helps me to be genuine and able to give those around me the best version of myself. It’s not a complicated recipe and one that won’t fix the world, but it might just support you as we move through difficult times. When did you last make something or let your creative mind shine?

How lucky are we

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Quote Anon

I have always had a strong dislike for car sales people, the reason is simple; they’ve always lived up to the stereotype of being pushy, arrogant and ultimately unhelpful. In the same way I’m not going to try and sell January to you. It’s bland skies, dark mornings and it feels naked, stripped from the tinsel and lights of December. I strongly believe January is for hibernating, staying home and resting. It’s not a season of dramatic change and that’s ok.

I’m now going to reframe January but don’t think I’m not aware of all the above, I’m not a car sales man and I’m not going to tell you that January will be amazing, only you can control that, we don’t have to hold the heavy weight of the new year either. After a December of social demands how lucky are we to have a slower paced month next. One that doesn’t demand or want, a month to quietly potter and plan…but demands little action. I’ve seen memes online about January having 2383 days in it and I agree it can feel long, especially if you were paid in early in December.

I am lucky that I don’t need to live pay check to pay check, I am lucky that I don’t desire to go out, content to snuggle down at home and happy to slowly step through January after the tornado of December. I think of January as an exhale. Of letting go, perhaps even with some light decluttering. As a huge lover of books January gives me time to immerse myself in literate and whilst I may be still, I’m thinking about spring, the year ahead and what I’d like to achieve – I’m just not taking action yet. How lucky are we. January is the dream month, the planning and the creative ideas coming together ready to launch but nothing that needs to begin today.

Often working people get the Sunday night blues and perhaps January is the Monday of the year. How lucky are we to have a fresh start. Mondays last just as long as the other six days and as we approach the end of our lives I’m sure we’d be grateful for every Monday we could gather, the same goes for Januaries.

Just because something doesn’t sparkle doesn’t mean there can’t be huge privilege within it. Rather than viewing the month with a heavy heart and a sense of blandness, look for the moments you can reframe and reflect the positive moments. Half way through the month now, it will soon pass – perhaps you can see you’ve already achieved something marvellous? Or perhaps you can find contentment in the stillness of this time. Whatever your own circumstances I urge you to reframe your world with a positive perspective, why? Because you are lucky you have the option to. Celebrate the small moments and I promise 2026 will be the year you flourish.

Will burn sage and bridges as needed

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As we enter 2026 and pack away the Christmas glitz for another eleven months, we might be tempted to declutter our spaces. However, today’s post is about decluttering our energy.

I’m a huge fan of saging or using palo santo in my home. In fact there are many ways I reenergise my spaces. The woo woo meets science suggests that saging kills all energy leaving a blank surface, the bleach of the spiritual world so to speak. Palo santo just removes the negative energy, so is more like your kitchen disinfectant – a little less intense and leaves the positive energy behind. I use both depending on what I feel the space needs and whilst I cant scientifically prove it makes a difference, I can tell you it makes me feel like I’m taking action to improve my living space and energy, how I feel is often all I can control.

Another practice that I do is blow a pinch of cinnamon from the palm of my hand over the threshold of my front door, this is meant to invite money and abundance into my home, again no proof it works but it makes me happy.

Bridges are easier to burn but harder for people to do. If you don’t enhance my life (or those around me) I’m unlikely to contact you. If I’m the one always making contact, I will stop. It’s your loss.

When it comes to taking down bridges there are two aspects that often don’t get discussed. The first is that bridges can be rebuilt or upgraded. If you realise that a friend is no longer a joy but a burden, take the bridge down, if things alter you can always rebuild a new bridge, it might be smaller but friendships can be reestablished. When we discuss knocking down bridges and taking people out of our lives, we often think about the process like we blew the bridge up with nuclear weapons – never to return, in some cases this is useful but in others a little break can often allow you to reflect. Secondly, you get to decide what bridges you cross. You get to decide who you spend your time with. If we return to our bridge analogy then you are the toll booth manager. You say who crosses your bridge and when they can return, you also might need to complete repairs on your bridge eg. You both may need to reanalyse your relationship and give it the attention in needs. Bridge building is complex, much like relationships. Clear boundaries and communication are often important, less so that bridges perhaps.

Either way, as we begin a new year do what you need to ensure the space around you is positive. For some it maybe decluttering (always in my house), redecorating (always in my house) or making time to prioritise things that you want to achieve, be that eating less processed things, reducing sugar or exercising regularly. Whatever it is, always prioritise yourself.

Lights will guide you home

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Lyrics from ‘fix you’ by Coldplay

In the last days of 2025, the blur between the dizzy heights of Christmas and the soft landing of 2026, I’ve been reading. Many of the books seem to have death as a theme or sub theme and it got be thinking about the bright lights often ‘seen’ in the moments we leave this world, scientists may suggest the lights are caused by our central nervous system closing down…but I’m a girl who loves a light. My Christian name ‘Lucy’ means just that and I adore a candle, a chandelier, a glint of a disco ball or the dazzle of the stars.

In panic and fear we may try to make this moment of cross over big and dramatic, we may decide to live without fear (sounds good to me) and jump out of planes (sounds less good to me), to fill the squares of social media with thrills, excitement and lavish living…but then I thought about the light and I created a game. The best bit of this game is it’s free to play and means you are living in the present ‘light’ and with this probably creating a authentic light of joy for later.

Here’s how it begins. I thought about the lights that I love, now it could be that December has influenced me but fairy lights are high on the agenda of ‘light joy’ – hundreds and thousands of tiny lights that make huge impact when strung together. Imagine your life a series of fairy lights as far as the eye can see! Exciting concept right?

Now the game: each day begins in your mind with a blank string of lights, by recognising moments of joy, glimmers that make you ‘light up’ you add a light to your string. I often go to sleep reflecting on what lights I had turned on that day, translating as I go to sleep bathed in positive thoughts of gratitude, laughter or happiness.

‘Tiny’ is often a word that is overlooked but I promise you the more you seek out the tiny moments of joy, the quicker your day lights up. I also found that when faced with the darker moments of life that appear, having my game of lights in your mind won’t stop negative things happening but will help you from not being sucked into negativity.

A couple of my recent light experiences:

I was driving through a forest near where I live and the leaves on the road in-front of me were whipped up by the wind like someone changing a bed sheet – it was like a scene from a Disney movie.

The sip of a perfectly made cup of tea and optimum temperature

Also, the moments just have to be what you experience but don’t have to happen to you. I was in a department store and a little boy was excited by the action figures, his Dad called him down with excitement to look at ‘more figures’ and he burst into laughter when he realised his Dad was talking about the aisle of Barbie dolls. Everyone nearby laughed at the little boys reaction.

I went into my favourite independent tea store and the cashier said I was entitled to a free box of tea thanks to my loyalty card. I opted for a strawberry, watermelon and lime loose tea.

Some of the moments are free, some belong to others and many of mine are often recognised thanks to Mother Nature or loved ones, either way I enjoy collecting them and hope you enjoy the game too, it needs a name – any ideas, comment below.

Happy New year to all of my readers wherever you are based in the world. You are always appreciated.

The taker may eat better but the giver sleeps sound

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Quote Anon

December is certainly a period of both giving and receiving and my intention is to enjoy the magic the season has to offer but not at the expense of being a jerk.

Yesterday I went to Marks and Spencer’s for some last minute food bits, mainly double cream and items that need to be in date. In the stores defence it was the Saturday before Christmas…

Pulling into the car park was not a seasonal delight full of ‘good will to all men’ it was more like a scene from ‘Saving private Ryan’ and I realised it was every shopper for themselves. As I entered the store the front of the shop was packed with discounted vegetables and beyond it was wall to wall trolley trauma with couples bickering and over priced and over consuming items being purchased – sadly, most to landfill than tummy delight.

I made myself a little smaller, smiled sweetly and with extra love and politeness made my way to the checkout, perhaps if I role modelled good manners it might become contagious? Sadly, it didn’t catch on, head down I made my way to my car and called my partner to say whatever we didn’t have – we would go without. It wasn’t worth the Christmas chaos.

Driving home with my double cream secure, I reflected on the bizarre season and how it doesn’t always bring out the best in humans. My super skill is reframing situations, I decided to see gratitude for all the shop workers, farmers and factory employees it took to fill the store, the cards and well wishes I’d received in the last few weeks from loved ones, the time I’d spend with family and the opportunity to rest and reflect at the end of another blessed and productive year.

Take this season to give what you can to those that you want to share your time, attention and vegetables with. You’ll sleep soundly bathed in good karma and I’m not sure the birth of Jesus needs to over complicate a traditional Sunday roast? Love, kindness and discounted veg to all.

The magic is always simple

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Quote by Fridgesays

This morning the Mr and I took the dog for a walk at the beach. It was a beautiful morning and Mother Nature was giving sunshine and sand…which on a pebble beach is always welcome.

(I even caught an Angel of light in my photograph)

We were well wrapped up and enjoyed everything the empty beach had to offer from writing messages in the sand to collecting some loot.

The loot included some good karma, by taking some plastics we’d found to the bin, some drift wood, a shell and a tennis ball.

Pearl had a lovely morning but she isn’t a huge fan of tennis balls, not wanting to risk the ball returning to the sea I decided to look for a new owner as we walked back home. We passed many pooches and the Mr reminded me that I had the ball, but I remarked ‘it’s not for them’…until I saw a group made of two couples and two dogs up ahead. They were laughing and interacting with the dogs, but they only had one ball, the Golden Retriever was clearly feeling left out. I ran ahead to catch them up and said ‘sorry to interrupt you but I’ve found an extra ball, would you like it?’ The group all instantly responded with huge smiles and gratitude, the male owner of the retriever lit up like a Christmas tree, he explained he hadn’t brought a ball and was immensely grateful, I wished them a merry Christmas and ran back to join Pearl and the Mr, we then chatted about how happy an old tennis ball had made not only the dogs but the people. Sometimes happiness comes from a shell in your pocket, a brisk walk in Mother Nature and sometimes it comes from a timely delivered tennis ball, but the magic of giving and happiness is often a simple action, don’t get caught in the December chaos of consumerism – take a walk instead, thank me later.

Failure is success in progress

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Albert Einstein

What a quote! Five words that can reframe a negative into a success is an incredible achievement, especially when two of the five words are ‘is’ and ‘in’ – so it won’t surprise you that at fridge head quarters I am taking this powerful quote and sharing a story about a cup of tea.

I went to a friend’s house to see her gorgeous family this week. Before I arrived she had text me her address and suggested I parked on her driveway. Having never been to her home before I checked when I arrived whether where I had parked (blocking their cars in) was convenient, it transpired that I would need to move as her husband needed to pop out for some milk, as this discussion took place I was aware I was letting the November cold into their home, so I closed the door and the decision was made that he would go a little later. Like all ‘need milk’ plans this didn’t occur whilst I visited.

After hugs and a good natter, my friend offered me a beverage and we relocated to the kitchen to make it. I drink a huge variety of herbal teas so I’m not fussy how my breakfast tea is served, as she went to get the milk we were reminded that her husband hadn’t yet been to the shop. Comfortable without milk, I said it didn’t matter.

As she went to the fridge she remembered she had some oat milk and kindly offered me some. what I experienced next was a taste sensation…the oat milk took my traditional British cuppa to the next level and I enjoyed it immensely.

The immense taste meant I found myself purchasing oat milk so that my homemade cuppa’s could be equal in joy – my friend is now an influencer.

As I drove home I reflected on the cuppa experience, no doubt she felt annoyed that she didn’t have the ingredients she needed to hand, yet the outcome far exceeded my expectations. I thought of all the recipes I’ve cooked where I have had substituted items and things have gotten better, I thought about the Einsteins of the world who have proven theories by error, or whilst on a mission to solve a issue have found solutions for other issues…

Every time I sip my oat milk tea I am reminded that by reframing moments we can enrich our lives, that we are all working progress and we are all a dash of oat milk away from being better. We can’t always control the outcomes of life but we can enjoy the glimmers of joy when they show up. This week stay open to new opportunities, try oat milk in your tea and look for ways to improve moments that present themselves as negative.

You’re a cheeky chops

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

One of the beautiful things about my job is how varied it is. Someone I’m developing policies and working strategically to improve the efficiency for whole schools, year groups or working with individuals, aged sixteen and six foot tall or four years old and full of wisdom.

On Friday I found myself in a Reception classroom with little humans aged between four and five years old. It was the end of the day and the teaching team had the mammoth task of ensuring every small person had all of their personal items on them; Book bags, coats, packed lunch boxes, scarfs and gloves, a comfort teddy and a water bottle, a ruck sack…the next task what to get said items either in the ruck sack or on the little human, for them to waddle out of the door to the warm welcome of their parent or carer.

I did a sweep of the cloak area and found a black coat that a naive parent hadn’t labelled, it was black and purchase from Zara…as the adults looked for the little human without a coat we were struggling to reunite it. A little girl came over to me and prodded my thigh, for the purpose of this story I shall call her Bunches, as that was how her hair was styled. She said ‘I don’t have a coat’ – I showed ‘bunches’ the black Zara number and asked her if this was her coat, she thought for a while but her glaze didn’t convince me it was hers.

At that point a magisterial Muslim little girl came over and said in a patronising tone ‘Bunches, you wear that coat everyday, it’s YOUR coat!’

Bunches smiled at the Muslim little girl and pinched her cheeks ‘you are a cheeky chops’ she remarked, popped the coat on and returned to her space on the carpet. Myself and the other little girl were lost for words.

With the mystery of the abandoned coat seemingly resolved, I laughed at her response, imagining her parents responding with a cheeky chops affection.

Sometimes people (especially four year olds) don’t respond the way we think they may, sometimes people surprise you or in the case of Bunches, she certainly made me smile and giggle. In that moment she taught me a little bit of wisdom, always expect the unexpected and that guidance from friends is always welcome, even if she has cheeky chops.

Life is rocking when you’re a gem

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Quote anon

As a crystal loving person and a self confessed positive princess this quote spoke to me.

As we head into winter, keeping our vibrations high is never more important. The weather is often not our friend, in the UK is too dark, too wet or too grey…I’m unsure what the best balance of grey is?

So this week I thought I’d keep it light and give you a few ways you can raise your energy and vibrations, these are all things I do for myself and my family to keep us sparkling into the warmer months.

Supplements: I alter my supplements to reflect what I need and as the changing season brings a darker world, the whole family takes vitamin D3. Vitamin D helps regulate the amount of calcium and phosphate in the body. In the warmer months the sun helps provide this and of course our diet can too, but who doesn’t like a little boost of sunlight in a capsule?

Walk but layer up: I know it’s cold and wet but try and get out. Autumns a beaut and the winter has charm. If you can get out, move those legs and get walking. Not only good for the muscle’s, circulation but somehow Mother Nature always lifts the spirits. Don’t forget to add some extra layers, the right clothing can make all the difference to your comfort.

Give a little: Whatever your love language is, don’t hibernate on it. Mine is baking, so when all I want to do is snuggle down and eat all of the carbohydrates…I make sure I give some to loved ones. Whilst the holiday season is upon us, we don’t need to wait for 25th December to give a little. Who doesn’t like to receive a warm loaf of bread for no reason?

Hugs are free: This is probably an all weather joy but look out for those that might be isolated or lonely during the colder months. A phone call can make someone’s day, a hug is even better. One family therapist has said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth” so whilst the natural world retreats, hug more and grow through the winter months. Oxitonsin is a joy chemical in our brains and hugs release this wonder chemical.

Lastly, retreat a little. Take it easy and wind down over the winter months. A slower pace that reflects the rhythm of nature is often beneficial for our souls. Recharge, eat well and if a nap in-front of a fire presents itself – dive in.