I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned

Quote Anon

I was looking at the Mr today and thought ‘he’s a keeper’ and realised that this quote truly summed up how I felt. So this post is all about gratitude for the relationships I already have. I often think about what I want for the future and always slide into the trap of reflecting on what I lack, but Js Daddy and my Mr F is a non negotiable.

My son is equally amazing but also (only I and the Mr can say this – anyone else who dared would feel my wrath) and absolute w*nk*r. Seriously, he is five years old and can go from a cute an angelic over achiever to a whinging douche bag faster than the speed of light. I really love him though, less so at dinner when he takes 5 hours to eat his meal due to procrastinating and sharing every fact he has ever learnt to anyone that will listen. I did worry when I was pregnant with him that I might not like him. Luckily Mother Nature throws more than enough love between a mother and child moments after birth that lasts you a life time.

Both my boys have helped me to flourish, dared me to dream and supported me when I’ve taken on new adventures. The Mr is a great sounding board and is one of those really annoying humans that is always right, which in the moment is infuriating but with age I’ve learnt to listen to him more and he is a wonderful team member, he also has other skills like taking the bins out and fixing stuff that is beyond my realms of interest.

I remember the early days of dating Mr F and from day one I have never thought I would have a tomorrow without him, he is a constant – how did that happen? The children, the house, the pets and the adult discussions about which wallpaper to pick and the exciting text’s we send each other, the last three from him read…

“We’ve gone to Judo”

“buy bread”

“and milk”

I mean, if thats not romance what is? The other night we were in bed and I said something about how we had basically had a ten year sleepover, whilst reading his book he muttered “the snacks are naff” and we both burst out laughing. We laugh a lot, usually at my expense, or at dogs on YouTube, or at our little dude making sense of the world around him. I never take it for granted though.

Anyway, rather than read my rambling thoughts on the boys in my life, perhaps take some time this week to think about who you are blessed to have in your universe. Not in a Hallmark cards way (those quotes never inspire me), or in a list of what they do for you way, instead I urge you to think about how they make you feel because stirring those emotions is the essence of tomorrows relationships and having a tribe that works for you, that completes your puzzle or that helps you to come construct a better puzzle for the future is worth its weight in Halloumi (I prefer Halloumi to Gold).

Love hard and stay true to yourself.

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The Saturday Session #38

Welcome to another successful week of #thesatsesh linky. This week for me was a slow start (seriously Tuesday felt like Thursday) but then whoosh and I find myself sitting here and typing the new weeks linky up. I hit an all time high this morning, woke up buzzing, for absolutely no reason what so ever and decided to stay here. Although this is now enhanced by a glass of wine, the weekend has arrived and I’m feeling great. I hope you are too. I had a very funny encounter with a click and collect deliver man called Mark today – he was super grumpy and even though I was a happy customer he was sad for me at every opportunity. I paid extra for bags as I picked the large food shop up alone, half way through the shop the bags disappeared, Mark blamed the lazy packers. He then showed me my substitutions – I was happy with them, except the Halloumi, Feta isn’t the same thing? Anyway, Mark was outraged. So I changed the subject by noting the lovely sunny weather – Mark noted the high UV glare and I Couldn’t help but chuckle at his disposition.

He should totally read by featured bloggers post this week – Its the lovely Mac from Reflections from me. If you click the you’ll see her post was all titled ’15 ways to feel happier’. Mackenzie is a boss in the blogging world, her posts are well laid out, have a clear structure and IG friendly images. Its like walking into a department store and wishing your house looked like their examples, or in this case my blog. Having said that, the theme was ‘oh so Fridgesays’ and I love reading posts that I wish I had written. Ive actually never done a ‘top ten’ type post before, perhaps I’ll add it to the wish list. However, for now Mackenzie is totally owning this list and if you didn’t have a grand day (like Mark) then its probably worth noting her first point in the post…

“Firstly let’s agree it is OK to be gentle with ourselves! Believe you deserve to be happy and don’t put yourself down for ever feeling unhappy”

If you loved my featured post as much as me, please leave her a lovely comment and use the hashtag #thesatsesh in the comment box. Or you could check out who Hayley has picked for her featured blogger by clicking here.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Happiness is only real when shared

Quote from ‘into the wild’

Happiness princess here again, absolutely loving this quote. This week Kate Spade died, at the point of writing this the news is reporting that she had left a suicide note. I text my friend and told her about Kate’s death (she’s a KS handbag lover) and she texted back some seriously wise words

“Being mentally healthy is everything”

The text above made the hairs on my neck stand on end. Truth can do that, it can cut through your soul and not leave a trace that’s it’s obliterated your very being.

I pondered on happiness to raise my self out of a potential pit of sadness and then I decided to do what I always do when my world looks like it might turn sour or the weight of the day has left me feeling empty – Make a mental gratitude list.

The list usually works like a magic spell to lift my spirit and redirect my day. However, I then realised something that for me felt profound. Although I relish the time I have alone (like now laid on the bed with a cup of chamomile tea and a candle for company #gangsta) all the moments of happiness I have usually involve sharing it with other people.

My son came home from a new Tennis club beaming today, he couldn’t wait to tell me what he had achieved. My happiness soared just hearing about his adventure.

New purchases don’t feel fun until you show others or they compliment, or ask where you got it from.

My tribe is the basis for most of my drops of happiness, but retelling and sharing moments is often the best bit.

I don’t think you can experience the true power of happiness alone. Do you? Perhaps you share a moment through social media or even with a pet (seriously my dog laughs at all my jokes), you send a postcard, letter or email.

The only way I can think that not sharing can be more fun is when you eat an entire bag of share sized crisps to yourself.

Being mentally healthy really is everything, if you are blessed with a serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine mix that’s good, or even better if you are mentally better by 1% then you were yesterday – you’re blessed. If you have someone (anyone…could be a pet) to share any more plus percentages with, then you’ve made it.

If you need some support to increase your percentages, please seek help via your GP or talk to the experts: Mind.org.uk for more info, many people (nearly 70% in the UK of elderly people) report being lonely, again more info here

The Saturday Session #37

I had a little treat today, one of my old pupils came to see me, she’s 22 years old now but forever 16 in my mind. She entered pushing a push chair and with another on the way. Luckily she was always crazy, so she’ll excel with two under two years old. It was such a blessing to hear about her career and how her and her partner have recently got a mortgage and settled. It was lovely to see her ‘Mummying’ like a legend. She always made me proud.

This leads me beautifully on to my featured blogger, the theme of her post is gratitude and reflection as she looks back at what the month of May held for her and her family. Helena from The Queen of collage monthly round up was a lovely way to look back at what her family had got up to. The longer I blog the more I find myself writing about my tribe, not necessarily for the readers but as a way to keep our family memories alive. Helena is obviously a devoted Mumma, but also a creative chick with a flare for detail. If you don’t follow her, haven’t read her posts or are looking to blend creativity with parenting – this writer is for you. Please use the link above to check her out. She deserves the love.

Enjoy week thirty seven of #thesatsesh and thanks for joining us, time goes so fast when you are reading so many lovely blogs – click here to see who Hayley my cohost has picked as her featured blogger and if you are joining us please make time to comment and use the hashtag #thesatsesh – if in doubt, read the rules below…

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

My brain has too many tabs open

Quote Anon, but I think most humans at various parts of their lives have probably thought something similar.

The original computers were based on human brains, designed by human brains and so its no surprises that our lives often become endless array of tabs open, just like a busy computer. My current mind is whirling since I just put my son to sleep (I say down he is currently chatting to himself and showing no sign of slumber) I’ve got parent tab bars open, work deadlines and things I need to do for tomorrow, the new shoes that I’m watching, childcare arrangements I need to make for the week ahead, goals for the future, chores to do – these fall into several tabs alone – some I need to do, desire to do and if time slows down some I might actually achieve. Its no surprise that the modern worlds demand and if I’m honest the demands that I put upon myself (see chore tab bars) often seem relentless and never ending.

So we have several choices…

1). Die a miserable death of disappointment and torment (seriously, its no coincidence that the word disease is literally ‘dis-ease within the body’)

2). Keep a balance on the tab’s of life – reduce where needed, or perhaps even take a holiday to escape the everyday demand of tab bars. Warning: body pressures on holiday, safety when abroad, travelling with kids, financing the holiday and the washing when you return can lead to more tab’s being open.

3). Stop and reduce the tab’s.

I personally favour the third option and do this through meditation. Something I need to make more time for daily. *blog about how I’m going to achieve that coming soon.

However, what I’d like to share with you today is a mini journey I’m taking with my son. J is five, he attends school and is in Reception, hates the academic aspects of school life and loves the sandpit. We are currently working to improve his handwriting, confidence with his fine motor skills and making sure we all don’t loose the will to live in the process. Its hard.

Then a couple of weeks a go I watched a programme where children with ADHD were encouraged to meditate and it even enabled the parents that invested the time on meditating to stop using medication. As I was watching it I thought, why aren’t I doing this with my son? He knows that both of his parents meditate, he even sometimes watches, I teach kids at school but I’ve never taught him?

We are hoping that its a tool that he can use, just like riding his bike or swimming and reading. The bonus is if it helps him at school or when he finds too many tab bars open in his mind. If you’ve ever spent more than five minutes with a five year old boy then you’ll know that tabs pop up frequently; questions, answers, facts on dinosaurs, what we are doing tomorrow, what we are having for lunch? when its snack time? where is Daddy? …anything involving toilet humour, star wars, phonics…the tabs are endless and currently lack any filter.

We began small with a 2 minute meditation, I did some research using real tab bars and found out that children respond best with guided meditations that you use repetitively (there is comfort in ‘knowing what comes next’ for little dudes) and also not spoken by someone that they know AKA Mummy.

I found a quiet space, invited him to join me, role modelled the process and with my eyes slightly open to peer on the little munchkin watched him roll around the room, flip backwards, pop his feet over his head and move faster than any olympic athlete. It was a huge wake up call for me. I knew he was a boy full of beans but I’d underestimated how hard he would struggle. Result: Surprisingly he loved it?

We did it again…similar outcome, he enjoyed it but the progress was minimal. I knew I’d need some patience, but we increased the session to twice a day for just two to three minutes.

Then I was listening to Aaron Doughty on youtube (easy on the eye and brings the healing world an the science world together) and he mentioned that when he meditates he uses a candle. It helps as the mind focus’s on the flame.

Lets give it a go I thought, what can go wrong with a five year old and a live flame? As it turns out – nothing. I edited our practice slightly and we both sat with our eyes open. I reminded him that fire was hot and not to touch it. He sat still and was mesmerised. After a minute in to our practise he whispered “Mummy can I blow the flame out at the end?” I smiled and nodded that he could. At the end he beamed up at me and I said “now you can” and frankly every session ends with a birthday cake celebration, we both even clap.

Like I said this is just the beginning of our journey, he doesn’t always want to do it but I remind him its important, just like brushing our teeth is. We have a way to go, increasing the time, the wiggles and at some point closing our eyes, but its a start.

If you have any tips for meditating, please share below what worked for you?

The Saturday Session #36

Sad times for this Mumma as we hit week #36 – its back to work on Monday as the UK half term comes to an end. We’ve been blessed with sun and lots of lovely memories from staying at my Bestie’s (currently typing this in her garden) and I’ve been playing ‘try 6000 dresses on’ as 2019 is the year she is getting hitched. We’ve been on some lovely walks as a Ohana with our dog Moët, met brand new baby Ruby (another lovely friends latest member of the squad), carried a huge inflatable dinosaur everywhere with us, eaten BBQ’s and even accomplished a bit of DIY…win.

Friendship / my tribe is really important to me. I don’t have many friends, but those that I do have are literally my all. This leads me on to my featured blogger for this week – Three Time Daddy.  In one of his recent pieces he discusses an issue his family had when ‘the kids fell out’ and the domino affect it had on his family and how they handled it. Its absolutely worth a click here to read it, I can see as my little dude starts his adventures of school life, how we may face similar situations. I love it when bloggers capture real life situations and what we as readers can take from them. Also anyone who can put out great content and has three kids is amazing in my eyes.

As always, Hayley has picked her own featured bloggers for #thesatsesh so you can always have a cheeky look at her’s too – click to link to her blog or stay here, read the rules below and join week 36 of this lovely community.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

#5yrs Collect things

For the last two years I’ve documented the little dudes ‘favourites’ with twenty questions. I realise it may not be the most scintillating post to read, but sometimes a Mummy blogger has to be selfish and use her corner of the internet as a place for memories. So far, we are have done this three times and its been interesting to see that he’s like have stayed pretty similar (Mummy was scared School might sanitise his imagination) click here if you’d like to read the previous years post, otherwise enjoy. Let me know if you decide to do, or already do something like this.

1. What’s your favourite colour? Green

2. What’s your favourite toy?   My plastic crocodiles and sharks.

3. What’s your favourite fruit? Banana

4. What do you like to watch on TV? Transformers on DVD (Daddy is creating a retro child)

5. What do you like to eat at lunch? Fish and chips at school on Fridays, with baked beans.

6. Who’s in your family? Mummy, Daddy and Moët…Nanny Bonkers, Nanny Gill, Grandad Tom and Grandad Ken, Nanny Choc choc, Margaret the African snail and Ragnarok the stick insect.

7. What item of clothing do you most like to wear? Jogging bottoms and my pjs. Oh and my favourite costume is…all of them. (J often leaves the house in something from his costume box, today he went out topless with a cape and dagger, it was a strong look)

8. What game do you like to play? On my Leap Frog, Octonauts and Frogs and Friends. Dinosaurs, animals – so many things Mummy.

9. What’s your favourite animal? Tortoise, Hedgehog, Crocodile, Shark and Octopus

10.  What song do you most like? You don’t know me (by Jax Jones feat Raye)

11. What’s your favourite snack? Smokey cheese and Halloumi but not together

12. Favourite book? My new sea monster book, it’s precious (encyclopaedia of prehistoric Sharks and other sea monsters – seriously worth remortgaging the house for)

13. Who’s your best friend? Henry James Garrad.

14. What’s your favourite sport? Obstacle courses and Judo

15. Which holiday do you like the best? The school holidays, (why?) because they are lovely and you get to stay at home.

16. What do you sleep with? Muzzy (Muslin) and my toys, books, anything I can’t sneak in really.

17. What do you like best for breakfast? Rice crispie’s

18. What do you like to do outside? Find mysteries

19. What’s your favourite drink? Lemonade

20. What’s your favourite dinner? I can handle this question easily – pizza. It’s from Italy, all the good for is…Macaroni, pesto pasta and my favourite pizza!!!

The Saturday Session #35

Whoop, its not just any linky – its #thesatsesh bank holiday special, also known as week 35. Amazing for bloggers across the globe as we are extending the opening times to 8pm Monday GMT, with an extra 24 hours to play there are no excuses – this means if you are busy in the sun and spending time with loved ones, you still have the opportunity to join the party. (Extra special for Teachers as its also half term – a week of adventures with my little dude)

At the moment its Friday evening, my belly is full from a yummy curry, I am sitting with my bi-fold kitchen window open, at my new bar that the Mr and his mate built me, sun on my back and rosé in my glass – if thats not winning I’m not sure what is?

This notion of winning is completely the opposite of my featured bloggers post. Its titled ‘5 things not to say to someone struggling with depression’ and is written by the talented Naptime Natter creator Wendy. You can click the link here to read all about her top tips, but actually I didn’t pick it for its content. I selected it because I love it when writers create a piece that has heart and raw pain but also in the darkest lines, strands of hope and humour. Its a toxic and delicately balanced recipe for joy and something I think Wendy does so well. As Wendy highlights ‘Cheer up it may never happen’ has to be the cliché of things not to say, but humans are weird at the best of times. My worst insult when I was grieving for my daughter who had passed just months previously was “Do you want to hold my baby? it might make you feel better” needless to say I declined the offer and in my head shoved the baby someone that unlike my bar, the sun doesn’t shine. Please give Wendy the love that her blog of joy deserves, or just scroll over to Hayley’s blog to see who she has selected as her featured blogger by clicking here.

The rules to week 35 are just the same as previously BUT with the bonus 24 hours typing time. Have a peek below if you are in doubt, or click the blue box below.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Good shoes take you to good places.

Quote by Seo Min Hyun

When my son started school I took a photo of his new shoes, not him by the front door like every other home, but of his new shoes. I then realised something about myself, I mark chapters of my life with my passion for footwear, mainly heels.

Shoes speak to my soul. I have fond memories of going to Russell and Bromley as a child to be fitted for my ‘Start Rite Mary Jane’s’ in the latest colour. The child section was up a winding staircase (totally impractical for parents and little ones), it had a light fluffy carpet and around the edge of the room was a huge, long tropical fish tank. The shoes were expensive, lasted and made me feel like a princess. The new shoe box was often held by me on the journey home (except for, on the winding staircase previously mentioned) with pride and my collection over the years has grown and only increased in quality.

I have high heels that make me smile; some symbolise the break up of previous relationships, I always buy new school shoes for the new term and have shoes purchased following births, deaths and marriages.

I’m not that fond of bags….an impractical sparkly clutch bag and I’m happy. Life is too short for practical black/neutral bags and frankly I take my hat off to those that change their bag daily…hmmm hats I don’t do those either?

I don’t have shoes for every occasion, just shoes that make me smile, feel happy or in some way complete. I only own two black pairs of shoes, may be three (?) and I don’t tend to buy shoes that are cheap and as a result have never suffered with rubbing or blisters. I don’t wear shoes for comfort because how they make me feel is more important.

I asked my son about this quote and in he’s five year old wisdom he said “What’s a good place?” he raises a good point. A good place to me will be different to your perception of a ‘good place’ perhaps thats why there are so many places and so many types of shoes? In my life I plan to go onwards and upwards, it makes sense that a pair of eight or ten inch heel’s are my best companion.

Perhaps, living life in comfort is a priority for you, may be you are simple in expectations and live life exposed – the flip flop may be your choice of footwear?

My son, predictably likes wellies, adventurous and practical in the UK. Quick to put on and in some jarring design.

I make judgements about people on their shoes, do they care about themselves, do they look after themselves / are we compatible? What would your shoes tell me about you and where is it taking you?

The Saturday Session #34

img_4001

Welcome to week 34 of #thesatsesh .This weekend I plan on focusing on breathing, seriously that week was like surviving a whirl wind. You know you’re old when you’re excited because you don’t have any plans…thats my weekend, so I’m going to feel it with chill time, forrest walks and some meditation. Anything more and I’m not sure I could cope.

Each week myself and my super mum cohost Hayley pick a featured blogger each, you can click here to see who she has picked, or keep reading as I reveal mine.

My featured blogger really got me thinking about boredom. Andy from Dads sofa discussed the issue, so much so that I think I might write my own post on the topic. You can read Andy’s interpretation here. In essence how reliant we are on our mobile devices for entertainment and to kill those awkward waiting moments in the day…some children need them to occupy them in queue’s or restaurants but actually theres a learning curve in waiting, in patience and in occupying yourself. Andy’s post is simple and to the point, I always enjoy his humour and would definitely like to sit on his sofa at some point in the future and share a cuppa. I imagine its full of laughter and moments of pure joy…who knows perhaps we could just chill and share some boredom time?

If you’d like to be considered as this week’s featured blogger or just have great content to show, have a peek at the rules below and click the blue box! All posts, genres and bloggers welcome – even the boring ones 🙂

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.