I would say I speak less than I did before my son was born…Mr F would obviously disagree. I was the child at parents evening who was always told she was ‘very chatty’ and so even if I worked extra hard to filter my mouth, as my ratio of traffic is so high it doesn’t make a difference to my audience, in fact installing traffic lights or even a roundabout through my mouth wouldn’t help either, so please don’t think I’m an expert on the quieter side of life.
However, I have put some filters in that didn’t exist in my twenties. For example, I think more and much deeper than I ever did previously. I read more and I listen to pod casts that enhances my knowledge and perspective. I also realised by listening more, I’ve become highly critical of peoples social skills and think in turn this has enhanced my communication skills. I’m much better at listening and being active in conversations.
My Mum can vouch that for the first seven years I didn’t sleep through the night, but for a good sevenTEEN I didn’t listen, especially to my parents telling me to go to sleep, or to anyone in authority, or to any of my friends…okay and any member of the human race. However, becoming a Mummy altered my perception of noise. Frankly a new born baby makes far too much and so quiet and calm moments become precious. I also don’t wish to fill his head with negativity and spend my entire life saying NO to him and limit his world. I’m cautious with my words and his sponge like mind filters every little letter and files it away (usually to use it against me at a later point in the the day).
However, why am I sharing my noise levels with you…because people that jabber really irritate the crap out of me. They speak nonsense and talk about things they have little knowledge of, BUT when someone regardless of age or any of the categories we like to pop humans into speaks with passion, truth and depth – it’s like a firework display in my soul. I become coal like; at first dark and cold but as they speak I burn bright and glow from the inside…and when they stop I turn to ashes leaving my thought process in a new state, not better or worse – just different.
This quote is really on my ‘to do’ list and like I stated at the beginning, it’s working practice for a chatter box to filter their thoughts out loud, but I do recognise it’s something worth pursuing.
So how do we start, like everything I think we start with small steps. We apply how we use our mouths to how we use our online presence when we comment on social media, share or interact. We listen a little deeper, speak a little less and when we do open our mouths we first open our hearts. Sounds simple doesn’t it, then why am I still trying to work it out?