I don’t hold grudges, you just become irrelevant 

Quote by…the one and only Anon. 

This post is about how harsh and non emotional I can be. Since as long as I can remember I do not hold the ability to forgive, forget or even realise people that hurt me exist. I can cut emotions ties and literally forget that they ever were part of my world…or so I thought until I wrote this post.

I think it probably began with the girl at Nursery (aged 3) pinched me. I couldn’t be friends with her when she started my secondary school over ten years later. I didn’t forget. 

There was the ex boyfriend who I’ve watched treat every woman he has ever dated awfully. Over the years he has caused serious heart ache to many and perhaps once I held a grudge. Now, he is irrelevant and I pity his lack of ability to love honestly and truly. Time heals but in my case it seems to blur to the point I no longer care. 

Several years a go there was a murder of a young boy called Anthony Walker, the attack was racist and brutal. His mother publically forgave the murderers. It happened before I became a parent, but I knew she was sincere and inspirational. I knew I wouldn’t have the capacity to forgive as she had done. Gee Walker became my inspiration – I aspire to her sincerity and clarity of emotions. 

Forgiveness can release you from anger, illness and heightened negativity. Grudges only cause bitterness in those who hold it – not those it’s aimed at. So why is it so hard to forgive? 

I wish I had ‘the top ten ways’ to release anyone from negative emotions. I don’t. In truth it’s a battle I often come across in my own life. For me neutralising the emotion and making them irrelevant, like the quote suggests does help me to feel free of the negativity, but in truth I guess by making someone ‘irrelevant’ you care enough to put them in a ‘I don’t care’ category, which when I was smaller I distinctly remember being a hot air balloon, it was rammed with sarcastic teacher and kids who I didn’t like and the balloon was always a one way trip. Good bye! 

Whilst thinking about my own lack of forgiveness (seriously I can be harsh) the list of people who have made it to my ‘I don’t care’ list / hot air balloon ride is long and I know why each of them made it to my naughty list, which means I still hold a grudge…

Other inspirations for putting emotions aside is when parents separate and ‘for the sake of the kids’ (or their own sanity) stay on positive terms. Love is complex and broken hearts can be bitter and messy. It doesn’t surprise me that for your children couples often make it work in a platonic way, full credit due when this can be achieved, I know it’s not always an option. 

How do you deal with forgiveness and do you have any tips for others? …because I’m asking for a friend 😉 

Happiness is homemade #2 

So it’s the summer holidays and as a teacher I am thrilled. Not only does a bell not go off every hour and dictate what I do, but I get to spend time with the little dude. 

He starts school in September so these weeks seem even more precious. I love creating memories together as a family and have decided to do a similar thing to last year. Click the link to Happiness is homemade #1 for details of what we did and how you could do your own version. 

It was fab asking him for ideas on what he would like to do. I did add some parent pre planned events in also, and once again I was surprised at how simple the things he wants to do are, from ‘riding his bike’ to ‘playing with mummy’ #cute 

We went for a slime theme this year, because anything green and gross is his thing at 4 years old. 

As always he wants to see more crocodiles (his Godmother has this under control) and we have hung them in the porch (because blue tac does mark and this is a much faster paint job for us)   

I totally recommend doing this and will hopefully do it for years to come – until he way too old and tells me to ‘do one’ because he is back packing around the world with some mates and seeing crocodiles in their natural habitats (Sad Mummy moment / awesome times for him) 

Have a fabulous summer whatever your circumstances, enjoy, love hard and create memories.