You can, end of story.

Quote from Anon…she is so busy writing quotes here, there and all over Pinterest.

Last week I witnessed yr11 pupils with a motivational teachers giving them the skills to revise. It was interactive and the speaker was a charismatic character of wonder. Looking around the room I was pleased with how many pupils were eating out of his hands and absorbing his top tips and pearls of wisdom…and then sadness hit, there were some who heard the word ‘revision’ ‘exams’ and turned off into a world of denial, self doubt and teenage misery. 

I wanted to shake them (didn’t, this is frowned on) and sprinkle some smiles and love over them. I wanted to say ‘you’re 15yrs old with this negative vibration life is going to be long, hard what have you got to lose by giving it a go’. Although I realise teenage-ism is a temporary disability that many adults have moved on from and achieved, it made me think.

It made me ponder on my power as a role model, both as a teacher and a mother. As a parent it’s a little harder if I’m honest, I have this inner desire to bubble wrap my bundle, to shield him from the dark, to scoop him up when he falls – even though I know I need to let him learn for himself, build resilience and stand back. (*sighs at the thought of not being able to do the above bubble wrapping process every moment of every day; and add a bow because presentation matters)

Building self esteem, resilience and faith in our children starts so soon after they enter the world, it’s a role models duty to emulate this…but how can we when doubt disability looms over adults just as much as the young?

After much analysis and a glass of wine I think I needed to remind myself that my son and my pupils need to see me succeed and fail. To learn from the fail, to get up, apologise where necessary and to try again. To admit that I’m scared, anxious or blooming terrified and to do it anyway. To let them see the process because fear is usually irrational, it blocks us and excuses us from moving forward. To watch me try, to leave my comfort zone, to not moan and be pleased with myself even when I didn’t get much out of the process. Most importantly and full of power I want my classes and my less bubble wrapped little man to see that I can. End of story. 

The Flower doesn’t dream…

Quote by Mark Nepo.

Do you believe in soul mates? I do.

I also think there are people that are right for you at a certain point in time, but like all good sweaters you can grow out of them and at times they can stretch and look far better on someone else. I’ve had my fair share of sweaters and now I have found my soul mate. Unlike Prince Charming or the Disney ‘forever’ he isn’t always adoring, doesn’t ever notice when I’ve had my highlights done and leaves the dirty plates on the side rather than in the dishwasher. I guess if he was my perfectly fitted sweater upon reflection he can be a little itchy and I struggle to get my head through the neck hole at times. You see a soul mate doesn’t mean perfect fit. For me it’s someone who excepts me, loves me and allows me to grow and develop, in turn we do that together.

How I found him is a yummy story,  much like the quote and the cliche, I wasn’t looking. I was bored of relationships and wanted to date. I could write a book on some of the terribly dull dates I went on. I even drew a stick man of perfection to focus finding my Mr.Forever. Colour coded and labelled what I was seeking, from physical attributes to personality and even a couple of materialistic musts. Meanwhile he had been my friend for several years and I came home, called him and would share how the dates had been from Mr S not cutting the mustard, how unintelligent the man from the bank had been and how speed dating was defiantly not made for me (I speed drank to entertain myself let’s leave it at that).

More importantly when we spoke we discussed other things, he was just as busy as me and dating was a small aspect of my life. Traveling with friends, enjoying the London night life and making memories was at the centre of my world. I went to the gym, took yoga courses and despite my stick man of perfection, I was busy living and oblivious to the potential soul mate sweater by my side. I think this was the key, well there was more of a bunch of keys…

  • I didn’t need someone to complete me, I was content in my own universe.
  • However, I had my vision on what I required (a list of things all my ex’s weren’t) and I wasn’t prepared to settle or make do. Please never settle, or let friends do the same – life is too short to pretend.
  • Much like the flower I was blossoming and that has a certain attraction. It attracts quality Bees or in my case, a rugged muscle physic an independent nature, a desire to travel and a level of spontaneity that means life is fun but that I don’t feel vulnerable…oh and he had air miles. 

I love hearing how couples have met, ours was in Barbados but I’ll save that for another day.

Whatever your current sweater situation, be it you have so many your drawers are brimming (see what I did there) or perhaps you threw out the jumper that made you miserable, gave it to charity and cut off all emotional ties…only to see it worn by a friend or perhaps it keeps returning with the kids every alternative weekend. Whatever your current relationship status, be it happy ever after or riding the waves together or even a single pringle attitude, remember to focus on you first, much like a single flower head, if its abundant in good nectar the best Bee will find it…but watch out for green flies.

Be a fountain, not a drain

Quote by Rex Hudler.Its 4pm on a Sunday afternoon and this quote reflects my current reality. On the precipice of a new week I became absorbed and overwhelmed with the lunches that needed packing, the shift patterns that required certain meals at certain times, meetings, child care and everything else in between…I felt blue and was just about to write my famous ‘endless to do’ list when a little fairy tapped me on the shoulder. She whispered in my ear – put the kettle on.

Not one to mess with fictional beings, I flicked the kettle and grabbed the nearest mug. “No” said the Fairy, and I knew in an instant she preferred to drink tea from a fine bone china cup. The tea was just the break I needed from being absorbed in to the drain of destruction.

For those of you that have never thought what being ‘drained’ meant, check out my quick google below

1.cause the water or other liquid in (something) to run out, leaving it empty or dry
2. deprive of strength or vitality.
1. a channel or pipe carrying off surplus liquid, especially rainwater or liquid waste
2. a thing that uses up a particular resource.

Now, I can’t write for everyone but I’m pretty sure whether verb or noun I don’t want to ever feel like a deprived, surplus, dry person who lacks vitality – especially not during my precious weekend time.
Thats when I realised the Fairy was right. Sure, there were things to consider, tasks to complete but they didn’t need to consume me, leave me feeling empty or overwhelmed. It was at this point I made the decision to be a fountain. To let the day flow with direction and with my current on course, but one that would give me pleasure and not overwhelm me.
We all have choices in every moment of this life time and I believe I am the happiest person that I know; with exception of babies that advertise Milk  – they are seriously happy and I could never compete with those gurgles of pure delight.
But I am happy because I choose to be, I look for the glass half full, I constantly analyse my mood, mind and direction. In recent months I have avoided certain people who drain me, I don’t watch the News because its blooming depressing and although current affairs interest me, I don’t wish it to be delivered directly in to my home in a manner that is distorted and the horror magnified. These choices may seem minor but they effect my mood and that in turn alters my vibrations.
I don’t always get it right, you’d be surprised how easy it is to become absorbed and attract negativity in to your life, to deviate from where you want to be, but a cup of tea is usually enough for me to turn my fountain back on and stop looking at what others have, what I lack or desire.
Therefore this week, and every week after it I challenge you to be aware of your mind, to choose to be happy and to avoid negative environments. If like me you are easily distracted and many people demand from you, I also recommend you approach this challenge with extra tea bags and the best cup you own (or use it as an excuse to buy a new one). Unfortunately, the Fairy is mine and I can’t loan her out. But listen hard enough and you’ll find we all have an inner voice that wants the best for you, every day.

Your vibes attract your tribe 

Quote by the goddess Anon. 

Apparently if females retain a friendship for over seven years, they tend to keep it for life. This fact seems to be relevant to my friendship group, in fact I’ve often lost contact or walked away from unhealthy friendships just before the seven year itch. 

Jim Rohn has postulated that we are made up of the five people we socialise with the most…this worries me? Time wise I probably spend more time with work colleagues than my family and friends that I have chosen. Further research confirmed that if you are looking to climb the social ladder then just being with wealthy people can increase your income. 

For any dieters out there, the same goes for weight, health and literally any social trend. Of course there are always exceptions but in the main my friends are all vaguely clones of me – similar occupations, Social status, finance, hobbies and even lifestyle choices like choosing not to smoke. 

My vibe is much like my blog 75% positivity, 10% reality and the rest a combination of Disney vibes and sparkle, which means my tribe is similar (that’s a lot of sparkle)

If you are of a negative disposition or life has just taken you down a dark alley, be cautious about who’s  hand you hold as you may be attracting a tribe member you wouldn’t usually aquaint yourself with, or that will keep you in the dark for longer than you need.

As far as tribes go, we are designed to thrive in small communities and not really meant to link with over 150 people in our life time. Our global identity and social media reality can mean most people can achieve this most days, so don’t be reluctant to take a step out of the crowds and reflect / invest time in your own vibes and those you prefer to spend time with. I think this is why I like to walk the dog and submerge myself in nature regularly.

How’s your tribe? Does it fulfill the vibe you desire and if not what action do you need to take. 

Celebrate every tiny victory 

Quote by Anon
This quote excites me. In a ‘live for today ‘way, rather than counting down to the next big event and slowly wishing our days away.

Back in 2009 I was pregnant and like all chaotic moments – buying a house. The year seemed to be eating at our souls slowly, so much to do and so little time to do it in. More terrifying was where to start. It was at this time that my midwife encouraged me to relax more and Mr F started taking me to the pub for a celebratory lemonade (outrageous I know) in the afternoon, it was the last trimester where I was reluctant to leave the house. With money tight we felt the need to have a reason to go out midweek and so we started to celebrate our daily victories. Send paper work off – Chink, to a week later completing a survey on the house or buying a pram – chink. 

Mile stones seem to follow with the birth of a baby; from rolling on their tummy to first steps. Yet just before two years the mile stones ease and the celebrations frequency seems to also.

My ‘to do list’ is endless and although when I complete individual tasks I feel satisfied I never really celebrate the end of the list. I’ve never wrote a Facebook status on the topic, or even tweeted my joy…in fact until now I’ve never taken the time to reflect that I have ever got to the end of the list, perhaps because I’m busy writing tomorrow’s ‘to dos’ and that isn’t healthy or productive. 

Tiny victories make for happy souls. Think how far you’ve come since the start of the year, the month or even what you’ve achieved this week. May be even jot them down.

  • Got home earlier than usual 
  • Cooked dinner, sat and chatted to Mr F over said dinner with candles lit and…
  • Toys cleared away
  • Two loads of washing 
  • Wrote this post 🙂 
  • Participated in a linky by commenting on other blog posts 
  • Updated Instagram @fridgesays and Twitter whatmyfridgesay 
  • Showered 
  • Planned outfit for tomorrow

Okay, so perhaps this isn’t the makings of a God like figure, but this list occurred in a three hour time frame, with family around, distraction and with other many victories in between.
The washing pile took a battering, my blog blossomed, Mr F and I connected and that’s healthy progress, if we slowed down and noted the commendable moments that pass so many of us by, perhaps we would all have a little more self love and less doubt. How many people would love to start a blog but don’t have time are too busy to sit down mid week and share a meal, now before I award myself a medal and you think I’ve lost the plot here comes the magic

You’re victorious too. We all are. We just forget to celebrate it. 

What we don’t realise is that celebrating doesn’t need a social media status, a party for 6000 people or a food/drink reward.

It takes tiny moments and a tiny amount of time to recognise and enjoy the self satisfaction of what we have done, rather than going to bed with a list of all we still have to do, feeling exhausted and like we are failing. 

Today is a gift and that’s why we call it the present, perhaps this is our most precious victory and it isn’t so tiny. 

If you suck at looking at your daily victories, I have a game that may work. 

Just before I pull into my village on the way home I go over my day and remind myself of eight moments where I was successful. (I’m not sure why eight, it just feels right for me) The best bit about this game is I now ask J (aged three) what his favourite moments were, it can easily be adapted. By the time I’ve put the car in neutral and removed the car keys I always feel good about my day and what I have achieved. 

A positive mindset helps you reach your goals quicker, lifts your soul and even makes for a happier being. What’s not to love? Start treasuring your achievements everyday. You are victorious 

Interrupt anxiety with gratitude 

Quote from Danielle Laposte

Disclosure: this quote flows with ease, the reality of anxiety isn’t always as simple. I realise that but think there is merit in this quote, let me explain why…

Anxiety: prevalent in developed countries, the biggest form of mental health in the USA and consuming teenagers like a Bee to nectar. 

What can we do? Well it’s complex, anxiety is often simultaneous with depression and at times will require either medical treatment or a holistic approach to overcome. The good news is many people are naturally anxious and it can be a personality characteristic than something needing long term treatment, it’s this form that I think this quote is aimed at. Anxiety is one of the many rainbow of emotions we are meant to feel, like all spectrums of emotions they allow us to form strategies and live our lives with the least resistance. I work with and for many people who are anxious by nature. I think it’s often a way the human brain shows it cares and at times can go in to overdrive, after all if we didn’t care we wouldn’t worry. It’s in this case that a drop of gratitude and a balanced look at the situation can dilute anxiety. 

Anxiety doesn’t care who it strikes and when, it doesn’t prefer poor, rich or polka dot but it does frequent females more often. 

My interpretation of this quote is that if you come across someone who is suffering from the anxiety, sit them down (hyperventilating has a wonderful way of making people faint) calmly speak to them and use positive sentences of gratitude, love and reassurance where possible. It really can help and although may not be the solution, to me its basic mathematics; a negative can be overcome by a positive. I work with one girl who is now able to use key sentences of self love to manage what once were daily attacks.  

To everyone who has avoided anxiety, keep the gratitude flowing and those daily mantras of self love, worth and belief will serve you dearly. 

*if anxiety is being served to you on a plate that you’d rather not consume, see you GP and gain guidance from site such as Mind 

Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist

Quote by Joy.F

When I was a little princess I lived high up on a hill, I had a pink room papered with tiny rose buds and was surrounded by dolls and love.  I was a lucky little lady, and as I grew (perhaps its the only child in me) I expected the best and knew that my knight in shining Dad armour would protect me from the horrors of the world.

My childhood was padded, corners were eradicated with strategically placed cushions. My garden toys, slide and swing both had protective rubber at the bottom – heaven forbid I hit the rough edges of the grass.

Due to health issues Gluten was my nemesis, so I battled hard with the force that is ‘My Mummy’, she checked labels, made from scratch and in an era without gluten free foods abundant on supermarket shelves and with no access to the internet she became the lighthouse of knowledge on all things GF. At birthday parties I had a packed lunch, at play dates she baked biscuits…she was my Delia delight because I was never once aware of being any different from anyone else.

I was allowed the freedom to be what ever I wanted to be. This was one of the greatest gifts that my family gave me. The gift to dream.

I kissed many frogs – some more ‘Toad of Toad Hall’ than had any handsome prince potential, but a young girl has to find these things out for herself. Its part of the adventure and makes for a fabulous cliff hanger.

I became an amalgamation of most of the Disney Princess’s, my imagination is at times so far fetched I have trouble working out how to get back to reality. I can be as feisty and independent as Elsa (although I could never live on a snow capped mountain, I’m pathetic in the cold weather), as vulnerable as Cinderella; sometimes we need to be whisked away and cared for, although I would never be so careless as to mislay a shoe, plus I’m not a night owl so I worry about turning into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight if I’m not tucked up in bed with a camomile tea by my side (so ghetto).

I can be as care free as Lilo, my labrador is more practical than stitch – she can fetch. Ive had my wild Merinda hair moments and had to overcome situations beyond my comfort zone.

I am a princess. I live the fairy tale.

I also have a career, my own family, responsibilities and Ive become a woman that carries tissues and light snacks in her handbag amongst the Dior lipgloss and DKNY sunglasses.

If you think I have it all, you are wrong – there would never be a sequel if happily ever after was so simple. I battle my own demons and struggle with my own issues daily, have things I want to improve, goals I want to reach BUT I choose to look through fairy tale glasses.

It’s a choice like what I’ll eat at Breakfast. Fairy tale eyes let’s me escape the dull and mundane and with the average Disney film lasting approximately 90minutes I still have time to fantasise and do the dishes…I’m just waiting for seven dwarfs to arrive and half a dozen bluebirds to dust my living room. You can get these on Amazon right?

Perspective is something I often end up writing about, I’m sure its because as I grow mine alters and experiences cause me to change my opinions. This quote is shouting out that you can already have the fairy tale – that you’ve been living it since the day you was born…if thats how you decide to see each day.

Perhaps you aren’t a natural glass half full person, or may be you’ve been the ugly sister, Genie in the lamp for others for a little too long. For what its worth I believe you can still go to the ball, live happily ever after and slay any dragons along the way. To do this will take courage to change and small steps to a better tomorrow, but if we’re honest we have all wondered what happened to the ugly sisters anyway….perhaps they won the lottery, found some spiritual alignment, loved themselves and ran away in the night with a hansom man from another kingdom. Or may be they learnt to knit, sorted that cupboard out and got dinner ready on time to watch Eastenders.

Enjoy the journey of your own happy ever after. what Disney character resonates with you?