I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned

Quote Anon

I was looking at the Mr today and thought ‘he’s a keeper’ and realised that this quote truly summed up how I felt. So this post is all about gratitude for the relationships I already have. I often think about what I want for the future and always slide into the trap of reflecting on what I lack, but Js Daddy and my Mr F is a non negotiable.

My son is equally amazing but also (only I and the Mr can say this – anyone else who dared would feel my wrath) and absolute w*nk*r. Seriously, he is five years old and can go from a cute an angelic over achiever to a whinging douche bag faster than the speed of light. I really love him though, less so at dinner when he takes 5 hours to eat his meal due to procrastinating and sharing every fact he has ever learnt to anyone that will listen. I did worry when I was pregnant with him that I might not like him. Luckily Mother Nature throws more than enough love between a mother and child moments after birth that lasts you a life time.

Both my boys have helped me to flourish, dared me to dream and supported me when I’ve taken on new adventures. The Mr is a great sounding board and is one of those really annoying humans that is always right, which in the moment is infuriating but with age I’ve learnt to listen to him more and he is a wonderful team member, he also has other skills like taking the bins out and fixing stuff that is beyond my realms of interest.

I remember the early days of dating Mr F and from day one I have never thought I would have a tomorrow without him, he is a constant – how did that happen? The children, the house, the pets and the adult discussions about which wallpaper to pick and the exciting text’s we send each other, the last three from him read…

“We’ve gone to Judo”

“buy bread”

“and milk”

I mean, if thats not romance what is? The other night we were in bed and I said something about how we had basically had a ten year sleepover, whilst reading his book he muttered “the snacks are naff” and we both burst out laughing. We laugh a lot, usually at my expense, or at dogs on YouTube, or at our little dude making sense of the world around him. I never take it for granted though.

Anyway, rather than read my rambling thoughts on the boys in my life, perhaps take some time this week to think about who you are blessed to have in your universe. Not in a Hallmark cards way (those quotes never inspire me), or in a list of what they do for you way, instead I urge you to think about how they make you feel because stirring those emotions is the essence of tomorrows relationships and having a tribe that works for you, that completes your puzzle or that helps you to come construct a better puzzle for the future is worth its weight in Halloumi (I prefer Halloumi to Gold).

Love hard and stay true to yourself.

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The Saturday Session #38

Welcome to another successful week of #thesatsesh linky. This week for me was a slow start (seriously Tuesday felt like Thursday) but then whoosh and I find myself sitting here and typing the new weeks linky up. I hit an all time high this morning, woke up buzzing, for absolutely no reason what so ever and decided to stay here. Although this is now enhanced by a glass of wine, the weekend has arrived and I’m feeling great. I hope you are too. I had a very funny encounter with a click and collect deliver man called Mark today – he was super grumpy and even though I was a happy customer he was sad for me at every opportunity. I paid extra for bags as I picked the large food shop up alone, half way through the shop the bags disappeared, Mark blamed the lazy packers. He then showed me my substitutions – I was happy with them, except the Halloumi, Feta isn’t the same thing? Anyway, Mark was outraged. So I changed the subject by noting the lovely sunny weather – Mark noted the high UV glare and I Couldn’t help but chuckle at his disposition.

He should totally read by featured bloggers post this week – Its the lovely Mac from Reflections from me. If you click the you’ll see her post was all titled ’15 ways to feel happier’. Mackenzie is a boss in the blogging world, her posts are well laid out, have a clear structure and IG friendly images. Its like walking into a department store and wishing your house looked like their examples, or in this case my blog. Having said that, the theme was ‘oh so Fridgesays’ and I love reading posts that I wish I had written. Ive actually never done a ‘top ten’ type post before, perhaps I’ll add it to the wish list. However, for now Mackenzie is totally owning this list and if you didn’t have a grand day (like Mark) then its probably worth noting her first point in the post…

“Firstly let’s agree it is OK to be gentle with ourselves! Believe you deserve to be happy and don’t put yourself down for ever feeling unhappy”

If you loved my featured post as much as me, please leave her a lovely comment and use the hashtag #thesatsesh in the comment box. Or you could check out who Hayley has picked for her featured blogger by clicking here.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Happiness is only real when shared

Quote from ‘into the wild’

Happiness princess here again, absolutely loving this quote. This week Kate Spade died, at the point of writing this the news is reporting that she had left a suicide note. I text my friend and told her about Kate’s death (she’s a KS handbag lover) and she texted back some seriously wise words

“Being mentally healthy is everything”

The text above made the hairs on my neck stand on end. Truth can do that, it can cut through your soul and not leave a trace that’s it’s obliterated your very being.

I pondered on happiness to raise my self out of a potential pit of sadness and then I decided to do what I always do when my world looks like it might turn sour or the weight of the day has left me feeling empty – Make a mental gratitude list.

The list usually works like a magic spell to lift my spirit and redirect my day. However, I then realised something that for me felt profound. Although I relish the time I have alone (like now laid on the bed with a cup of chamomile tea and a candle for company #gangsta) all the moments of happiness I have usually involve sharing it with other people.

My son came home from a new Tennis club beaming today, he couldn’t wait to tell me what he had achieved. My happiness soared just hearing about his adventure.

New purchases don’t feel fun until you show others or they compliment, or ask where you got it from.

My tribe is the basis for most of my drops of happiness, but retelling and sharing moments is often the best bit.

I don’t think you can experience the true power of happiness alone. Do you? Perhaps you share a moment through social media or even with a pet (seriously my dog laughs at all my jokes), you send a postcard, letter or email.

The only way I can think that not sharing can be more fun is when you eat an entire bag of share sized crisps to yourself.

Being mentally healthy really is everything, if you are blessed with a serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine mix that’s good, or even better if you are mentally better by 1% then you were yesterday – you’re blessed. If you have someone (anyone…could be a pet) to share any more plus percentages with, then you’ve made it.

If you need some support to increase your percentages, please seek help via your GP or talk to the experts: Mind.org.uk for more info, many people (nearly 70% in the UK of elderly people) report being lonely, again more info here

The Saturday Session #37

I had a little treat today, one of my old pupils came to see me, she’s 22 years old now but forever 16 in my mind. She entered pushing a push chair and with another on the way. Luckily she was always crazy, so she’ll excel with two under two years old. It was such a blessing to hear about her career and how her and her partner have recently got a mortgage and settled. It was lovely to see her ‘Mummying’ like a legend. She always made me proud.

This leads me beautifully on to my featured blogger, the theme of her post is gratitude and reflection as she looks back at what the month of May held for her and her family. Helena from The Queen of collage monthly round up was a lovely way to look back at what her family had got up to. The longer I blog the more I find myself writing about my tribe, not necessarily for the readers but as a way to keep our family memories alive. Helena is obviously a devoted Mumma, but also a creative chick with a flare for detail. If you don’t follow her, haven’t read her posts or are looking to blend creativity with parenting – this writer is for you. Please use the link above to check her out. She deserves the love.

Enjoy week thirty seven of #thesatsesh and thanks for joining us, time goes so fast when you are reading so many lovely blogs – click here to see who Hayley my cohost has picked as her featured blogger and if you are joining us please make time to comment and use the hashtag #thesatsesh – if in doubt, read the rules below…

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

My brain has too many tabs open

Quote Anon, but I think most humans at various parts of their lives have probably thought something similar.

The original computers were based on human brains, designed by human brains and so its no surprises that our lives often become endless array of tabs open, just like a busy computer. My current mind is whirling since I just put my son to sleep (I say down he is currently chatting to himself and showing no sign of slumber) I’ve got parent tab bars open, work deadlines and things I need to do for tomorrow, the new shoes that I’m watching, childcare arrangements I need to make for the week ahead, goals for the future, chores to do – these fall into several tabs alone – some I need to do, desire to do and if time slows down some I might actually achieve. Its no surprise that the modern worlds demand and if I’m honest the demands that I put upon myself (see chore tab bars) often seem relentless and never ending.

So we have several choices…

1). Die a miserable death of disappointment and torment (seriously, its no coincidence that the word disease is literally ‘dis-ease within the body’)

2). Keep a balance on the tab’s of life – reduce where needed, or perhaps even take a holiday to escape the everyday demand of tab bars. Warning: body pressures on holiday, safety when abroad, travelling with kids, financing the holiday and the washing when you return can lead to more tab’s being open.

3). Stop and reduce the tab’s.

I personally favour the third option and do this through meditation. Something I need to make more time for daily. *blog about how I’m going to achieve that coming soon.

However, what I’d like to share with you today is a mini journey I’m taking with my son. J is five, he attends school and is in Reception, hates the academic aspects of school life and loves the sandpit. We are currently working to improve his handwriting, confidence with his fine motor skills and making sure we all don’t loose the will to live in the process. Its hard.

Then a couple of weeks a go I watched a programme where children with ADHD were encouraged to meditate and it even enabled the parents that invested the time on meditating to stop using medication. As I was watching it I thought, why aren’t I doing this with my son? He knows that both of his parents meditate, he even sometimes watches, I teach kids at school but I’ve never taught him?

We are hoping that its a tool that he can use, just like riding his bike or swimming and reading. The bonus is if it helps him at school or when he finds too many tab bars open in his mind. If you’ve ever spent more than five minutes with a five year old boy then you’ll know that tabs pop up frequently; questions, answers, facts on dinosaurs, what we are doing tomorrow, what we are having for lunch? when its snack time? where is Daddy? …anything involving toilet humour, star wars, phonics…the tabs are endless and currently lack any filter.

We began small with a 2 minute meditation, I did some research using real tab bars and found out that children respond best with guided meditations that you use repetitively (there is comfort in ‘knowing what comes next’ for little dudes) and also not spoken by someone that they know AKA Mummy.

I found a quiet space, invited him to join me, role modelled the process and with my eyes slightly open to peer on the little munchkin watched him roll around the room, flip backwards, pop his feet over his head and move faster than any olympic athlete. It was a huge wake up call for me. I knew he was a boy full of beans but I’d underestimated how hard he would struggle. Result: Surprisingly he loved it?

We did it again…similar outcome, he enjoyed it but the progress was minimal. I knew I’d need some patience, but we increased the session to twice a day for just two to three minutes.

Then I was listening to Aaron Doughty on youtube (easy on the eye and brings the healing world an the science world together) and he mentioned that when he meditates he uses a candle. It helps as the mind focus’s on the flame.

Lets give it a go I thought, what can go wrong with a five year old and a live flame? As it turns out – nothing. I edited our practice slightly and we both sat with our eyes open. I reminded him that fire was hot and not to touch it. He sat still and was mesmerised. After a minute in to our practise he whispered “Mummy can I blow the flame out at the end?” I smiled and nodded that he could. At the end he beamed up at me and I said “now you can” and frankly every session ends with a birthday cake celebration, we both even clap.

Like I said this is just the beginning of our journey, he doesn’t always want to do it but I remind him its important, just like brushing our teeth is. We have a way to go, increasing the time, the wiggles and at some point closing our eyes, but its a start.

If you have any tips for meditating, please share below what worked for you?

The Saturday Session #36

Sad times for this Mumma as we hit week #36 – its back to work on Monday as the UK half term comes to an end. We’ve been blessed with sun and lots of lovely memories from staying at my Bestie’s (currently typing this in her garden) and I’ve been playing ‘try 6000 dresses on’ as 2019 is the year she is getting hitched. We’ve been on some lovely walks as a Ohana with our dog Moët, met brand new baby Ruby (another lovely friends latest member of the squad), carried a huge inflatable dinosaur everywhere with us, eaten BBQ’s and even accomplished a bit of DIY…win.

Friendship / my tribe is really important to me. I don’t have many friends, but those that I do have are literally my all. This leads me on to my featured blogger for this week – Three Time Daddy.  In one of his recent pieces he discusses an issue his family had when ‘the kids fell out’ and the domino affect it had on his family and how they handled it. Its absolutely worth a click here to read it, I can see as my little dude starts his adventures of school life, how we may face similar situations. I love it when bloggers capture real life situations and what we as readers can take from them. Also anyone who can put out great content and has three kids is amazing in my eyes.

As always, Hayley has picked her own featured bloggers for #thesatsesh so you can always have a cheeky look at her’s too – click to link to her blog or stay here, read the rules below and join week 36 of this lovely community.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.