Month: June 2021

Being lucky takes hard work

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Serena Williams

Within my career as a behaviour adviser, I am ‘therapeutic thinking’ trained – it’s a way of looking at behaviour as a function for communication, then planning and preventing to minimise antisocial behaviour and increasing pro social behaviour. My case load is varied from children aged 4 to 16. Within therapeutic thinking we look at children who are lucky and unlucky. What does that mean?

I am lucky. I was raised by two loving parents, they gave me security, prioritised my needs and gave me a wealth of experiences from holidays/ travel to teaching me through play, allowing me to fail with support…the list of how lucky I am is never ending. Something I can’t quantify but these elements make me able to deal with trauma ‘better’ because of my lucky start, something I will forever be grateful for, shaping me into the person I am today.

Unlucky children are those conceived into families with conflict, or addiction, those who experience a series of traumas, those who’s parents don’t attend school meetings, families where mental health consumes them, where tragedy continues to strike.

Whilst I personally identify with the ‘lucky’ side of life, it’s normal to also experience unlucky moments and experiences. Most of us are somewhere in between on the rollercoaster of life. Often sad events that touch our lives aren’t anyone’s fault, they are out of our control. How we deal with them is what really matters. To cherish the lucky moments; to be thankful to those around us, for opportunities that fall in our lap or through hard work are in our grasp.

Perhaps you identify with the unlucky child. Statistically, as an adult you are more at risk of repeating negative patterns, more vulnerable to trauma and less resilient. For me, I feel you should celebrate the small achievements even harder. When you succeed, you do so with the odds stacked against you. Perhaps your early childhood experiences mean you avoid conflict, you reach higher for victory, you never settle for the mundane. Perhaps your own children were born into a lucky family. If so, thats a huge achievement.

Whether you consider yourself lucky or unlucky, whether trauma made you rise or held you down we all have ‘lucky’ moments. Who was that teacher, neighbour, stranger that totally got you? Who saw your truth while others missed it. Have you been someone that has helped others to rise? The knight in shining armour that helped pay for someone else who was struggling? This week perhaps you can take time to reflect on your own luck and if you’ve got the energy – pass it on to another. The world doesn’t need judgement, it needs a scoop of kindness, a sprinkle of gratitude and a double helping of selflessness. Have a wonderful week.

Life is what you make it

~ ~ Leave a comment

Anon

Imagine if I told you that you’ve been selected to write and direct your own film. You may react by saying that you have no experience? I then go on to tell you that you’ll only get one shot at the film, we won’t have time to edit or reframe any scenes and I’d really like you to act in it, to be the star of the show.

By now you may be overwhelmed, with no experience in the industry that’s a lot to take on. I’ll then tell you it’s called ‘your life’ and hopefully you’ll smile and see the metaphor.

Each day, a scenario unfolds. Some days the drama is larger than others, be cautious – it’s the mundane moments that will pass you by the quickest.

There doesn’t always need to be a climax, action or plot twist…if there is always horror you may be doing things wrong? What you do have a duty to do in each moment is act truthfully, you don’t want to look back on a season where you lied to yourself or said things that weren’t true. It’s also worth speaking to the costume department too, sometimes we can get stuck in an era and it ages poorly on us.

You get to decide who features alongside you, you get to influence them and in turn they will advise you. Make sure your cast is faithful, funny and trustworthy…it’ll get you through the dark times easier and sometimes end with a smile.

….lastly, my film has already been ‘live’ for 14211 days. You can be cut at anytime and often you don’t realise it’s the end, so make the next day count, then the day after that. Each day is what you make it and you really do get to control so much of it, there is no dress rehearsal. Action.

Just enjoy where you are now

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Whether you are living your best life right now or rising from the ashes, the chances are you are hoping tomorrow will be better, that ‘soon you’ll be there’… it’s human nature to want better, most parents want better for their children, most people would like better for themselves.

The problem is we often look back at photos and realise those little moments in the past were perfect just as they were, we just didn’t realise it.

I don’t know where you are on your journey, to be honest I’m often lost in my own world but I do know that the secret to a better tomorrow is to feel good right now. No matter what’s happening, no matter what curve balls life has thrown you…consciously decide to feel better. Below I’ll share some methods that I use to help me to raise my vibration, but wherever you are in the world you get to decide how you feel. When you feel good, you attract good….and guess what? You’re life perspective improves.

Earlier in the week I was late to meet a friend, stuck in some serious traffic…I couldn’t do much about that, I texted my friend to tell her I was delayed and then rather become frustrated I looked at the views…

I’ve been stuck in many traffic jams in the past, but how could I feel anything but gratitude when this was the view out of my car window. Reframing my thoughts is a learnt behaviour and you can give it a go to…it’s a PollyAnna recipe for a better now.

Methods:

* meditate *name 10 things you love * visualisation things you’d like to manifest with feeling – no lack! * sleep * clear away clutter (a small draw) * try the power stance – this one is awesome and it’s instant * dance party * breath work * look around and appreciate what’s around you, it could just be the colour of the grass * divert you attention to something that makes you smile, giggle or belly laugh

Warning: improving your life and knowing you’re responsible for all the joy that surrounds you is highly addictive, doesn’t require checking with your GP and leads to more happiness, a better perspective and you may well sweat gratitude.