Quote by Serena Williams
Within my career as a behaviour adviser, I am ‘therapeutic thinking’ trained – it’s a way of looking at behaviour as a function for communication, then planning and preventing to minimise antisocial behaviour and increasing pro social behaviour. My case load is varied from children aged 4 to 16. Within therapeutic thinking we look at children who are lucky and unlucky. What does that mean?
I am lucky. I was raised by two loving parents, they gave me security, prioritised my needs and gave me a wealth of experiences from holidays/ travel to teaching me through play, allowing me to fail with support…the list of how lucky I am is never ending. Something I can’t quantify but these elements make me able to deal with trauma ‘better’ because of my lucky start, something I will forever be grateful for, shaping me into the person I am today.
Unlucky children are those conceived into families with conflict, or addiction, those who experience a series of traumas, those who’s parents don’t attend school meetings, families where mental health consumes them, where tragedy continues to strike.
Whilst I personally identify with the ‘lucky’ side of life, it’s normal to also experience unlucky moments and experiences. Most of us are somewhere in between on the rollercoaster of life. Often sad events that touch our lives aren’t anyone’s fault, they are out of our control. How we deal with them is what really matters. To cherish the lucky moments; to be thankful to those around us, for opportunities that fall in our lap or through hard work are in our grasp.
Perhaps you identify with the unlucky child. Statistically, as an adult you are more at risk of repeating negative patterns, more vulnerable to trauma and less resilient. For me, I feel you should celebrate the small achievements even harder. When you succeed, you do so with the odds stacked against you. Perhaps your early childhood experiences mean you avoid conflict, you reach higher for victory, you never settle for the mundane. Perhaps your own children were born into a lucky family. If so, thats a huge achievement.
Whether you consider yourself lucky or unlucky, whether trauma made you rise or held you down we all have ‘lucky’ moments. Who was that teacher, neighbour, stranger that totally got you? Who saw your truth while others missed it. Have you been someone that has helped others to rise? The knight in shining armour that helped pay for someone else who was struggling? This week perhaps you can take time to reflect on your own luck and if you’ve got the energy – pass it on to another. The world doesn’t need judgement, it needs a scoop of kindness, a sprinkle of gratitude and a double helping of selflessness. Have a wonderful week.