Be a good person but don’t waste time proving it.

Quote Anon.

The word that sprung to mind was ‘integrity’ when I saw this quote. It’s so important when you have an audience to still do the same things when your audience has gone home.

Being ‘good’ is obviously a word thats open to interpretation, but proving it is something I find people who are often insecure in their self do. Lets face it many people suffer from ‘lack of self love love’ and we certainly all have days where the self love monster eats our souls and spits us out in a top thats too tight, eyeliner thats clearly thicker on one side than the other – and thats only if we can be bothered to open our make up boxes.

Self love aside, there is nothing worse than meeting a person, thinking they are ‘good’ (feel free to enter any other adjective of your choice in here – I’m partial to ‘kind’ and also ‘stupendous’, although I just looked up good in the thesaurus and ‘ship shape’ made me laugh), only to find a few meet ups down the line that they are more plastic than Tiny Tears.

However, don’t despair below I plan to outline my own survival guide of 2018 for surviving and even thriving around these people. Its a comprehensive guide and I hope will be of value to you and others, in true fridgesays manner I have created it in magnets.

In essence, if someone is good to you or others to impress you or so you think they are good, suck up their good vibes like a baby and their milk bottle and don’t worry about their motivations. If they are doing it to impress you, firstly be honoured they give a shizzle and then know that in time people always show their true colours. I believe Phil Collins (legend of the 90’s) created a song around this theme, aptly named ‘True colours” although I can’t recommend the song to you, the video is hilarious with more fist pumps than the average 90s classic.

If you are an ‘impress’ kind of person, take a moment to sit down. Think about your motivations – if you want to bake a cake for people or show kindness and compassion, do it…if you feel socially bound, don’t. I live in a village and my son attends the local school, some of the parents are lets say a little keen to get involved. I am not. If its in my sons interest, I’m there. If its not or of no interest to me, I’ll avoid it like I do day time TV. I couldn’t give a scooby doo what any of the other parents thinks of me…why? because I don’t have the luxury of time to think about them and when I do have time, I’d rather show kindness to those in my tribe. I don’t aspire to be the class ‘rep’ Mum and I don’t wish to meet up with them in the holidays, unless my sons wants to see his friends.

I do think good role modelling is essential to our little peoples lives, and so try to be the best me. This summer I am planning a series of ‘acts of kindness’ to others beyond and within our tribe to educate my son on being grateful for what we have, sharing and giving to those that don’t.

So please, if you are anxious about what others think of you, spend the energy of loving you a little more and I promise what others think will become irrelevant.

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The Saturday Session #28

Welcome back to week 28 of #thesatsesh , time flies when you’re blogging and I can’t believe we are nearly at week 30. However, its going to take us a little longer than usual as myself and Hayley are going to take a break from the linky over the Easter Holidays and we will return on the 14th April. If you are an organised blogger then please pop this in your diary and don’t forget us, if like me you’re a blag it blogger then any previous bloggers that have joined us will receive the usual reminder plus one several days before via twitter.

With the admin out of the way, I’ve been ultra greedy this week and picked TWO featured bloggers. Mainly as they share a common theme – food! One of the many delights that this linky community have is variety. I love that one minute I’m reading about mental health, the next its children’s sensory ideas and then a recipe that makes me dribble catches my imagination. Cooking is something that my little dude has just discovered and Easter is bound to be unpredictable in the weather department, so you’ll find me hitting the links below and dancing in the kitchen with him when the rain stops play.

My first blogger is from Cooking with Kids and I love the original concept of the blog, plus the recipes are always mouth watering…only click the link if you are ready to see some seriously sexy Bread and butter pudding. This is absolutely something I plan to make with the little dude over the holidays. (The welsh cakes were a huge success!) and I love the little tips that she manages to pop in as she writes. I always leave her blog feeling inspired.

Next up is my Dads favourite, a recipe for homemade Turkish delight. I HAVE TO TRY THIS RECIPE. I’ll win the best daughter award if I can nail this and Mummy Wales reassures me in the first few lines that its easy peasy. Heres a link if you also feel like giving it a go, although the lovely Nicola seems to write about so many different topics her blog has something for most people and to add the cherry on the delight – she is a lovely lady too.

So whilst ‘Mummy Wales’ and ‘Cooking with kids’ collect their featured bloggers badges from my side bar, you can click here to see who Hayley my cohost has picked as her featured blogger, or scroll down to the blue box and join us for week 28.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Perspective

This just made me chuckle.

If you had been watching me this morning and was wearing your judgement pants you may have concluded a different perspective to my current reality. You may of said this Mum wasn’t engaged in her son and consumed by her mobile device.

Little dude had Judo, Mr F and I sat on the sidelines and whilst Daddy looked on I marked thirty GCSE papers…well half marked (seriously marking takes FOREVER), then it was swimming time with Daddy. Little dude is now 75% fish and Daddy has been a pro at teaching him. They are currently working on a new stroke and having a blast…I’m typing this from the gallery. On my mobile phone. I glance up every now and then, but I am writing. For me. This is my time. Swimming is their time.

Judgement pants may conclude I’m disengaged and not interest. I’m one of ‘those’ Mums. It’s true and I’m going to tell you why.

This Mumma doesn’t care what anyone other than her tribe thinks of her. This parent works full time, blogs for her own sanity, lives life to the full…manages her time to the minute. This time isn’t mine to watch my son swim…it’s my writing time. It’s Daddy and little dudes time. It means that with my marking done (well more done) and my post is written, in twenty minutes I will help little dude to dress. My cup will be full and I’ll be able to give him my attention, full attention – not planning in my head, stressy Mum writing a mental list kind of attention. My phone will barely be seen and we will fill our day with cooking, visiting loved ones and a dog walk. We will create memories and giggle.

It’s clear to me that perspective is needed. On lookers don’t know me, don’t need to judge me and I don’t need to judge them. We all do, obviously – it’s human nature. Sometimes, like my image above, we need a new perspective to read it. We need to step back, to not attack, judge or be quick in response.

In friendships, with work colleague and with your tribe add a filter before you make a remark. Breath. Step back. You’ll be wiser for it. Much like the swimming pool my boys are currently in, a filter is essential to prevent them from swallowing pure wee. Don’t let your life be poisoned by other people misunderstood perceptions.

The Saturday Session #27

Welcome to the weekend linky with the sparkle and glitz that the others just don’t have…well, Im bias but I am fond of the community that we have. It was really hard to pick this weeks featured blogger because the talent was high. I adore reading all of the contributions – humour, recipes, resources for children and this week several posts on mental health. I adore that we have created a tribe thats diverse.

My featured blogger is someone that wrote a post dear to my heart and also a blogger i’d recommend to non blogsters. She writes with talent, love and honesty and Fran from Back with a bump didn’t disappoint on her post titled ‘Life after child loss’. Although I wouldn’t want anyone to join the worst club in the universe, if you should ever meet anyone that does…there is a life after such an event and in can be positive. I particularly liked Frans comment that becoming a parent made her more confident – you have to ask questions, to understand, to fight for your little dot who soldiers on regardless of the specialists predictions, who inspires you in every dark moment and who somehow enhances your future even they are no longer by your side. If you have a few minutes spare I urge you to take a look a Frans post, her fitness regime is also something to be adored…seriously those abdominals after kids 🙂 #jel

With week 27 of #thesatsesh looming, lets refresh with the rules, comment because its caring and share where we have the time. Click the blue badge below to link up.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

 

 

Ssshhh I’m hiding from negative people

Quote Anon

This quote/ phrase made me smile. However, there is good news if you too are in hiding. You do not need to hide. Which is great as the media distributes negativity like Cath Kidson prints flowers, the majority of the world are moaning and if like me you try and keep your vibration up it can feel like the universe in colluding against you.

I am a ninja of positivity and a black belt in keeping my vibration high, why? My soul mate is a miserable git. This means I live with the dark side and over the years I’ve learnt all the tricks. Below I’m going to spread the love on how to remain positive when faced with doom (also known as ‘living with Mr F – a survival guide’).

  • Energy is attracted to like, so if you can spend time with like minded peeps – do so. I always avoid large meeting spaces like the staffroom, or children’s soft play – seriously stressful places.
  • When Mr F is downstairs in a grump, I move myself upstairs or to another room, I drown his noise out with music that’s upbeat
  • Change the subject. If you’re in a good enough vibration to hear that the person you’re talking to is being negative change the subject. If you can’t close that conversation down and get away. (See previous bullet point)
  • Sometimes I laugh at Mr F, probably not the best advice but it raises my vibration and is a clear message to him that he is grumpy.
  • I make time in the morning to work on me, before the world and Mr F grunts. This means I’ve already established my pattern and I’m flying high. (Things you can do to achieve this include meditate, listen to your thoughts, set intentions, establish a good morning routine, listen to a positive podcast)
  • I end the day how I want. I don’t follow Mr F to bed when he is tired. I might stay downstairs or do my own thing. If I do follow him it ends up in a squabble.
  • I keep busy – feeling accomplished helps me to vibrate higher.
  • If a crack of a smile should enter Mr Fs face I celebrate it. AKA enjoy it whilst it lasts.

How do you stay smiling when the world outside is grey?

The Saturday Session #26

Welcome to week 26 and I am shattered. This is the excuse I’m going to use for the horrendous shadowing in my photo above…CBA to change it though. I hope week twenty six treated you well, it seemed to go extremely quickly for me and although I was a little sad to say good bye to the snow my featured blogger kept the love going.

If you have little ones and are looking for some sensory play, I truly think that Sensational Learning with Penguin is the place for you. Its the adventures of a home educated Autistic ‘Penguin’ and he’s Mummy. I mention he’s diagnosis as a recommendation for parents in a similar situation to take a peek, this Mummy is acing her little dudes character and finding ways to stimulate him beyond the traditional format. The love that pours for her Penguin is contagious. I’ve picked this particular blog as my little dude would love to play with this recipe for snow. Plus, it has coconut in it which with my tropical clan is always a winner. Whilst my featured blogger collects her badge from my side bar – you can also click over to Hayley’s post 26 and see who she has picked as her featured blogger.

For the rest of #thesatsesh crew grab a badge and read the rules below, remember commenting is caring and each week we select two featured bloggers, so double the love 🙂

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

 

You’ll turn out ordinary if you’re not careful

Quote by Ann Brashares.

This quote made me smile. So many people of all ages lack a love for themselves. Why? Most of us are trying to be someone we aren’t. Perhaps not all of the time, but as we juggle all of the various hats on that we wear throughout the day we prefer the fit of some and hide behind others.

During my early teaching years I tried to emulate colleagues who I thought did the job well, or teachers who taught me. It didn’t work. It wasn’t me.

As a mother that was an entirely new hat (complete with ruined core muscles) that took a while to fit. I needed my hat adjusted as I took on the new role. To work out who my mum tribe was, to raise my little dude in our own way and to adjust the hat to fit me. I can’t mum like my mother did, I’m not her, although she is an amazing example, I’m raising my child in a different era with a new journey ahead of us. It took a while and needs constant adjusting but my mum hat is bespoke. It’s me and it fits like a dream.

I’m not sure anyone is happy to live an ordinary life, I think we would all opt for sparkle and quirk. However, there are a few things you need to do to live this life.

  • You need to be brave, to step away from the crowds when it doesn’t suit you.
  • You need a tribe around you that accepts you, cracks an’ all.
  • You need time to yourself, balanced with time with loved ones. There is a lot of research to suggest we ‘are’ the five people we spend the most time with. If these people are ordinary so are you.

I can’t juggle my ever growing hat stand without time for myself; to be creative, to be healthy and to be quiet. The world is a whirl of distractions and so I need to breath and pause, to check I’m on the pathway that best fits me.

This week perhaps you need to check your own hat stand out. The hats that are last season, the hats you hate, the hats you wear because everybody else does. Perhaps it’s even time to buy a new hat. Just make sure the hats are your own design and not made for somebody else.

Happy hat shopping.

The Saturday Session #25

Well, if you read week #24 you’ll know this week was full of late nights and meetings…then it snowed. England rarely gets covered in flakes so unlike hardcore places like Canada we crumbled; transportation stops, the infrastructure crumbles and every child prays for a snow day.

Sadly, despite my cohost Hayley promising to snow dance for me, I never got my snow day. BUT I did get to pick my son up from school on Friday with his Daddy, plus his little mate came with us for some sledging memories. It was lots of fun and it totally filled my cup up. I was home early thanks to cancelled meetings and tonight we are celebrating the weekends arrival with pizza and treats. It just goes to show that you never really can predict the week you’re going to have and I was certainly delighted to spend some ‘bonus’ time with my tribe.

Teri from ‘The Rhyming Mum’ is my featured blogger this week, as her post resonated with my bonus time with my dude…the poem is titled I’ll do anything for you and you absolutely need to click the link and have a laugh/ cry to this talented ladies latest piece. If I’m honest I have a bit of a blog crush on her, I wish I could rhyme as well…alas its a little like my singing, in my head I sound like Adele out loud my family are quick to run. My favourite from Teri’s poem in the stanza that talks about loving with age…

“Even when you’re 52,
With children who look up to you,
And a partner who looks after you too,
I’d still do anything for you.”

Umm…yup, I am totally that Mum too! Parental love is a unique gift that seems to balance ‘you’ve taken me to the edge’ to ‘ohh you’re so cute’ in seconds. I honestly didn’t think I’d see the little dude much this week and I’m so grateful that we not only got to create memories together as a family, but were also able to stay safe and warm when it was needed.

Feeling blessed, lets roll into week 25 of #thesatsesh. Thanks to all of those that badges up and commented this week, please don’t forget to give others the love by following the rules. As always, you can pop over to Hayley’s blog Mission Mindfulness to see who she has picked as her featured blogger.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.