To heal the wound you need to stop touching it

Quote by Jordan Mecale

No matter in life how happy we are, how focused on our goals we are, driven or on track for success, we all have moments where we fall, stumble, trip or in my case ‘stack it’. If my life takes a sudden dive then in seems the universe does a quick back turn and my world crashes…leaving me wounded and often gasping for breath.

When I was a little girl and I fell (playground style – we’re talking 80s with grit and dirty in the wound) my Mum would tell me off for picking at the scab. “It’ll scar Lucy” or “do you want it to become infectious?” She would repeat and I would pick it anyway, too tempted was the dead skin and oozy stuff.

Life is much the same. My lovely Mum guides me and tells me to leave past situations alone…and I repeat patterns of behaviour, let losers use me (seriously who’s the loser?) and pick, pick pick…until relationships become infectious and the wounds they left behind become Grand Canyons in my life.

So what’s a girl to do? I guess on the wound front a little first aid is needed – an antiseptic wipe, a splash of water and the classic solution to all childhood injuries – a whacking great big plaster (I obviously find a Disney character design helps the healing process significantly) and upon reflection the metaphor can directly be flipped to adult relationships and problems. You might need to say sorry (add a antiseptic wipe) or take some action, seek some therapy, help or action but once you’ve done that , leave it the hell alone. Often in many of the Law of attraction podcasts and clips that I listen to the advice is not to wallow in your lack of health, money or finding your soul mate but to embrace what you do have, sure you might not have found ‘the one’ but may be you have a tribe of fabulous friends. Money could be tight but what do you have? Lack really does attract lack, positive attracts positive and if you’ve watched Love Island or any ‘reality’ TV then you’ll know that special always attracts special ūüėČ

I’ve continuously simplified this quote, mainly because I think it can be as easy as we want it to be and humans love to over complicate life. Please don’t think I’m not encouraging action to issues as they arise, the antiseptic wipe of life is crucial but sometimes you’ve gotta shove a plaster on it and move on.

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Jar Moments

There are many things we have to teach our little humans, from taking their first steps to the glamour and delights of wiping bottoms, my son still insists that having his bottom behind him is a design fault (as he can’t see it).

Over the Summer holidays I have created ‘Jar Moments’ and have taken several ideas from the web of joy to hopefully teach my son to spread love, be grateful and for him to experience appreciation with a sprinkle of happiness. If you have a little dude or dudet, or even a gaggle of dudes then feel free to join in. My ideas initially came from Jacqueline from Go to Mindfulness¬†who was a featured blogger on #thesatsesh, click the link and you’ll see that in the jar I’ve added some of her inner child ideas. I also used good old pinterest to find some ‘random acts of kindness’ (although its always made me wonder how random a planned jar of activities can actually be?) then I added a few of my own. J isn’t keen on writing and at the grand old age of 5 years and with a teacher for a Mummy if I can sneak in some pencil time then its an added bonus.

However, we’ve actually been doing ‘Jar moments’ for a while and I didn’t set it up as ‘something for my blog’ but friends have asked if they can join in, so I thought I’d take some time to type it up. I’ll be sharing all of our ideas via the hashtag #jarmoments so feel free to follow me on Facebook to see what the latest note out of the jar is, my Facebook page is @whatmyfridgesays of course you can just do the odd note or even create your own jar. I’m using Facebook as a platform as I think it may get lost on Instagram and I also need to show my Fb page a little more love.

Instruction wise the Jar is simple; you simple unscrew the jar (Gratitude goes to Nanny for providing the jar) and pick out a note. You then have 48 hours to complete the task. I gave us this time as I didn’t want it to become a burden on planned days out that we have during the summer holidays. ¬†Once the task is complete and you’ve returned home, pick another to see what adventure the next forty eight hours holds.

You’ll notice that none of the activities cost any money. I really believe that showing love, gratitude and experiencing happiness always comes from the most simple tasks.

I should probably add that you also don’t need a mini dude to play along – why not create a jar for adult self.

I hope you enjoy #Jarmoments and if you do get involved please let me know by sharing pictures, stories and moments. The more love we can throw out in to the world the better.

The Saturday Session #44

Did someone say Summer? That’s right guys this is our last link up until September. ¬†Frankly I’d be two faced to write posts on how being present is important and then be stuck to a device rather than spending a sizzling summer with my boys. So, its good bye from #thesatsesh until September. However, I’m present on Instagram at the moment, so keep in touch via this visual corner of the web or click my blog as I’ve set myself a goal to write more content (twice a week) over the summer, this is mainly as I can now keep my eyes open passed 8pm, unlike my usual working weeks and I love to type when little dude sleeps.

In my house the Mr is mainly home for our dude, so its no surprise that I loved this post from Little Bears Dad all about the equality of parents, who is my featured blogger for this week. As many of you are aware my job in teaching is largely pastoral and I can tell you that their are many Mums who treat their children horrendously, Dad’s who are so distant they are irrelevant and just like the pro’s the con’s are 100% non genital related. After the child’s been conceived what matters is consistency, time, love and and a sprinkle of magic (Okay, magic is a bonus). I adore the clear structure of ‘Dads turn LB’ and the photo of him with his son as a new born creates a squishy heart moment, in truth I think its a bit sad that in 2018 we still need to talk about equality, about why Mums and Dads make equally good parents. Whether two parents are better than one, how children raised by same sex couples may/may not be missing out…..AHHHHH okay, I’ve begun to rant, but honestly if you sat in the child protection conferences that I do, if you have seen that money, race and gender are irrelevant to a child safety, happiness and ability to thrive, then perhaps you too would rant. To little B’s Dad – thank you for speaking out, for creating a platform to inspire other parents and for keeping it real.

Please join us for the last linky before we break, by simply clicking the blue box below and don’t forget to comment on the 4 posts as stated below. Also, thanks for being an awesome community of bloggers ūüôā

RULES

  • Link up¬†You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge¬†Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet¬†Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag¬†#thesatsesh¬†and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don‚Äôt already please.
  • Comment¬†sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette¬†comment on one of each of the hosts posts,¬†mine and Hayleys,¬†the post before and after yours.¬†If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger¬†announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn‚Äôt.¬†

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Queens don‚Äôt compete with hoes

Yup, it made me chuckle.

Let’s get a few things straight – competition is for those that need to prove something. Take international sporting events where countries compete to prove who is the best. Olympic athletes train for years to beat someone else, to challenge their physical limitations and I truly admire their skills and dedication.

After sport, competition becomes a little irrelevant. It’s a great self motivator, but beyond testing your own skills it can at times become rather sad. Yes, I’m talking about the boasters of the office, the people who will back stab you for the next rung of the ladder.

This princess was given her title by her first hero – my Dad. The pedestal was exceptionally high and over the years I admit I tussled to keep it. Then a wonderful thing happened – I turned thirty. I stopped giving a sh*t about the competition. I matured (well a little) and I gave myself a promotion. I’m Queen.

The crown fits because it adapts to me. The competition is irrelevant because I don’t serve a king, or one of those draw bridge things you see on Game of Thrones. I am me. I am the ruler of my kingdom, the land is as far as my imagination cares to take me, my mind is my palace. But this isn’t the best bit.

When you love yourself (it can take a lot of work, upkeep and you can’t hire a cleaner to do the dirty work for you) and care less about people that care too much, not only does the competition fade, you win the war. Want even better news?

When there is no competition your own boundaries aren’t compared to others and you thrive, you become limitless. #upgradedcrown

Shall I add the real sparkle of this quote? You see the hoes for what they are and you can see the best in them. They work for their money, they make no apologies and a true Queen will help to raise them up with her.

Nobody can touch your crown if it’s bespoke to you (Think Thor’s hammer but way sparklier) and so this quote needs to be extended according to fridgesays law…

“Queens don’t compete with hoes, or any human or any kind because they are too busy raising them up alongside them”

Sending all the Queens, Kings and haters as much love as they need to work this out and love their own kingdom.

And like a book cover I am what I hide

As soon as I saw this quote my heart did a double flip, after all I love books and I adore quotes.

Probably because I love learning, I like the fact that once we open our eyes as new born’s we don’t stop until our last breath – even if we wanted to. Books are a great place for wisdom, bringing far away lands closer or learning how to rustle up something for dinner.

Book covers however, just like the human body are highly controversial. Within this corner of the internet there are many posts on judgement – so here comes my confession. I totally judge a book by its cover. (*hides head in shame) In brutal honesty I love a cover that is bright and vibrant, if it has glitter – all the better, a little embossing never did anyone any harm…did I mention glitter?

That said a couple of years ago I began to read the top 100 novels of all time, so far I’ve read some epic classic’s and once again I’ll be honest and say that often the covers of the most thrilling book aren’t that vibrant.

However, like my cover or not, I am more complex in the story I tell. If you were to meet me I have an advantage – I can decide what I tell you, how I portray me, the leading lady. I can let you have a quick flick and leave feeling satisfied or I can pour out a chapter if I think you can relate to it, but most of my chapters live inside my head and the best ones are inside my heart. They aren’t shared with the world, loved ones or enemies – some stories live in people so deeply buried that even they forget they are there.

Some people walk around with their book wide open, they have fast track pages to the juicy bits and just like a book, if you expose it to the elements, the paper will perish in time. Others keep their book sealed that it isn’t worthy of existing. It hides in the shadows and without light and adventure the pages are empty. A note book isn’t a life worth living.

This brings me on nicely to genre’s; some people are pure romantics intwined in a relationship that lasts a life time…some are thrillers, crime based tales or I’m afraid – tragedies. Then there are the purely non fiction people who only exist for a work related goal, they usually have a specialism, a niche and there book slowly absorbs the pages of a slice of life. The saddest part about books is how many words they hold. Some are epic tales with thousands of adventures amongst millions of words, commas and full stops…some are only a handful of pages before the book comes to an abrupt end.

So, whilst you work on your happy ever after, I wouldn’t worry too much about putting effort in to your cover, how you appear will probably only attract a shallow reader to the shelf. Instead, as always I’d recommend balance, perhaps invest in a strong spine to hold you together, pay attention to who you decide to share your chapters with, however should it all go wrong, don’t panic – everyone loves a plot twist. Don’t worry if the book isn’t long, we can’t always control the precious time we are given, but do pay attention to the experiences you have, the climaxes and the contrast…and when all is said and done, if you have any budget left, sprinkle a little glitter on your front cover, after all a tale isn’t great if nobody ever reads it.

The Saturday Session #43

This week was tough. The last few breaths to the finish line are often the hardest but I can see the summer holidays are just around the corner (well next Tuesday), child protection issues often increases in my job and the paperwork that follows snowballs, extra cuddles are needed and from time to time I teach a lesson in the classroom and my sanity restores. Our dog is really ill at the moment, so home life is also about squeezing in extra doggy hugs and making each paw day count.

Luckily, my featured blogger rocked up with a winning combo of positive tips and a quote from Roosevelt, that is so fridgesays that I lapped it up like a kitten and her cream.¬†Mummy here and there¬†wrote a post titled the ’10 best life tips’ now personally I’d stop reading my waffle and hit the link above, humans suck at doing things that are joyful, we also often need to be reminding of what we should do – probably because we are too busy in our negative patterns of behaviour. Sams post also resonated with me because having read her blog for a while I know that she struggles with mental wellbeing and the chaos of society, even in my darkest weeks I’m a positive princess – but to fight the dark and shimmer is truly heroic, so give Sam a click and you may also leave wrapped in the embrace of karma, the focus to empty your inbox and the thought process to do micro jobs to get the big tasks done.

Hayley, as always also has a featured blogger – click here to see who she has selected. This linky will run until 28th July for summer so that I can be truly present over the vacation period with family and friends in the physical realm, so join now and get involved, below are the rules and the all important blue box. People who don’t follow them, will be deleted in the void of naughtiness. No exceptions made.

RULES

  • Link up¬†You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge¬†Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet¬†Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag¬†#thesatsesh¬†and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don‚Äôt already please.
  • Comment¬†sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette¬†comment on each of the hosts posts,¬†mine and Hayleys,¬†the post before and after yours.¬†If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger¬†announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn‚Äôt.¬†

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

The Saturday Session #42

Happy linky lovely #thesatsesh crew. Okay, so time flies in your forties it would seem. I’m excited that soon the UK will be on summer holiday joy, but seriously – slow down, I can’t keep up with the weeks as they fly by and frankly the ‘to do list’ at work can’t be done in the time I have? SOMETHING NEEDS TO GIVE…then I read my featured bloggers post, found a foster Mumma thats winning and said… screw the work list.

View from the beach¬†is this weeks featured blogger, her post on how her daughter handles a ‘friend’ at the park was heart wrenching, but more than that, the way she ‘Mummed’ was beyond joyful. She protected, guided and exposed her daughter to a situation that I can only imagine was traumatic to sit and experience,

To see my son rejected would be like an (inevitable) hot rod being thrust at my spine, I hope when it happens I handle it as well as she did. To talk about it, experience it and learn from it…kids are cruel, adults are actually worse – mainly as they don’t have the excuse of naivety, but to raise a child to be resilient and empathetic is absolutely winning, this is what I see when I read this post…hope for a new generation, thanks to the love and compassion of one Mummy. (Probably winging it like the rest of us). Please click the link above and have a read, its worth it.

Or see who Hayely has picked as her featured blogger by clicking here. Otherwise, have a read of the rules below to refresh your memory and click the blue box underneath to play week #42 of thesatsesh Рwe will close over the summer and give you an update of dates in the next linky.

RULES

  • Link up¬†You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge¬†Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet¬†Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag¬†#thesatsesh¬†and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don‚Äôt already please.
  • Comment¬†sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette¬†comment on each of the hosts posts,¬†mine and Hayleys,¬†the post before and after yours.¬†If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger¬†announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn‚Äôt.¬†

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight

Quote by Phyllis Diller

It’s late at night and I’ve been exhausted all week, you think I’d be snuggled up in bed, but I feel the need to vomit words all over this screen – so here I am typing, no plan and no agenda, just a over tired woman and the need for some typing therapy. Ahhhh I’m already smiling.

Lets talk about the humble smile…a simple smile is the¬†easiest and cheapest way to live longer, give your health an over all make over (it reducing your chance of heart disease, lowers your blood pressure and reduces stress). New research even suggests that it increases your chances of success and it makes you more attractive to a potential partner or new born baby; seriously babies love a cheesy grin.

So with these facts in mind why don’t we smile more, do smile-aerobics, smile indulge diets (like a diet but increasing not decreasing – yup I made the phrase up), why don’t we take time to laugh, like we make time to do chores or attend important meetings?(*any meeting that claims to be important are always extra dull and guarantee to be pointless). Honestly, I’m not really sure of the answer, but its something that I think adults should do more.

I’m lucky that I never lost the ability from my childhood to belly laugh – I’m talking full tears, can’t breath, abdominal workout, could possibly die, hard core LAUGH. I do this most weeks and several days of those weeks. Maybe whilst reading this you’re pondering on when you last ‘lost it’ in the giggle department? Mine was yesterday when one of my GCSE pupils used Hannah Montana as an answer in her MOCK exam, or two days before that when one of my yr 7 pupils was in a drama lesson being a shark (obviously) and her jaw ached so badly in rehearsals that when she drank from her water bottle her mouth muscles spasmed sending the water the wrong way and out popped the water via her nose…yup, kids are funny. My son comes out with killer phrases of both joy and oddness most days, his five years old, so humour and naivety are his friends.

I’m not sure I can teach you how to belly laugh? I think it comes from living in the moment and not being afraid to control situations. I think its helped by watching youtube clips of cats falling, babies giggling and humans failing. wikihow has a link to ’11 steps to laugh more’ (with pictures) which I haven’t linked because I think its rather sad. I think we all have belly laughs waiting to explode within us and would totally encourage you to release them.

Mr F, as regular readers will know is a grumpy human, his face falls in a nature frown and very few things make him chuckle or smile even slightly. He mainly smiles when I’m rolling on the floor laughing at something and I’m in pain from it. Seriously, pain makes him smile – mainly at my expense. That’s the absolute joy of smiles, they come in all shapes and sizes and what makes an individual smile is unique to them.

TASK:

Write down three things that make you laugh / smile. My ‘try not to think before you type’ ideas go something like this:

  1. watching stand up comedians
  2. people watching
  3. horrendous ‘Dad jokes’ (Need to build an ark – I Noah a guy)

Now you have your list make time to do these every week, then daily and I promise you’ll be healthier and see many advantages, then add to the list of things that make you smile, there will be so many more than just three. I’m also partial to an old school cartoon like Tom and Jerry or Henry’s Cat. Laughing is contagious, so if you smile it also boosts those around you.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I’ve had a seriously heavy week of being an adult, stress levels were high, responsibility lists were long and juggling home, work and life was a challenge – time to pop of some cartoons on I think?

Please comment below with either the things that make you laugh or your favourite Dad joke (the lamer the better) and when I’m feeling overwhelmed i’ll pop back for a smile through the comment section ūüôā

The Saturday Session #41

Happy week #41 of #thesatsesh – so our linky baby would be born by now. I’m not sure why I count the weeks of our linky but I do know that as the weeks flash by it reminds me how quickly life can pass you by – which reminds me of one of our posts from Siena says in week 40 on the topic of how precious life is, its beautifully written.

With that in mind, my featured blogger this week is Jacqueline from GO TO MINDFULNESS, she wrote a list of 30 things to do this summer to connect to your inner child – like I need a second invite? So, I seized the day printed the 30 ideas off, popped them in a large jam jar and we (My son and I) are going to pick one to do each day of the summer holidays. We always create a mind map of what he would like to do – heavily involving play dates and trips to the beach before we start our time together, whilst I don’t like to plan every day I also would hate to not maximise the time with him. I thought that Jacqueline’s fun ideas might add a spontaneous burst to the more mundane ‘at home’ days. I’d urge you to do the same. Freedom and fun is overlooked in adulthood – plus as Jacqueline is a mindfulness practitioner, its basically an invite to have joy from an expert…win!

If you are joining us for week 41 please don’t be stingy and not comment on peoples posts, those that break the rules and don’t put out the comment love will be deleted from future link up’s for two reasons – ‘rules is rules’ and this linky is all about community love, if you don’t feel you’ve received the love you deserved in week 40 please dm or email me and I will send the meanies a polite request or delete them from future links. What you waiting for? click the blue box below…

RULES

  • Link up¬†You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge¬†Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet¬†Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag¬†#thesatsesh¬†and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don‚Äôt already please.
  • Comment¬†sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette¬†comment on each of the hosts posts,¬†mine and Hayleys,¬†the post before and after yours.¬†If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger¬†announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn‚Äôt.¬†

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist.

Quote by joy.F

I truly believe that we are all writing our own stories, chapter by chapter life is a series of new beginnings, challenges and climaxes…and of course the odd dark spell and baddy comes along and tries to jeopardise the heroine/ hero from achieving their purpose. I have chosen to live a life of happy ever after, but even with my most positive intentions, I often get thrown off course and have to realign myself.

Many people don’t come close to their purpose, to living aligned or anywhere near the fairy tale they desire. I think I know why, as yesterday I had an epiphany in the supermarket.

I was helping out with our school production and there was a large gap of time between the end of my working day and the show starting, so I decided to take myself to a local supermarket and purchase something for my dinner. It was a sunny and rare hot day in the UK and I really wanted a salad but also to indulge myself. Leaves don’t really cut it?

Solace in a supermarket can actually be rather therapeutic. So I wondered around the isles and placed a few of my favourite things in my basket. I looked down and found that my basket was unreservedly a middle class snobby delight. Who had I become? The content included:

  • Tyrell’s sea salt and black pepper crisps
  • a rainbow themed salad bowl (it was so pretty)
  • Sushi
  • Equinox Kombucha (some sort of fermented goodness in a glass bottle)

I giggled with shame…I went back to my office and enjoyed every bite. I felt good, knew what i’d chosen was the best – felt indulged and also rather healthy (if we excuse the crisps) but still I felt embarrassed. Until I saw this quote this morning. It was then that I realised that in that moment I had eaten and drunk exactly what I desired. As far as I’m aware Cinderella didn’t run off with the sleazy bloke at the bar (although we never really learn much about the prince in that particular story?), Snow white doesn’t marry the first forrest animal to come along and Pocahontas doesn’t hook up with the village idiot. So why shouldn’t my basket be full of what I want? Just like my life.

I’m buying it, I’m writing my own fairy tale… more importantly why am I judging my own basket? Forget social pressure and media corruption – perhaps (yup this is my epiphany) we don’t feel we are worth the fairy tale. Our own judgements block us from how we want to look, feel and in my case – the basket of food I purchase.

So listen up fellow fairy tale lovers, you ARE creating your own story. Sure, it’s likely to never have a Disney logo but just like my shopping basket it can be the best or at least what you want it to be. Don’t judge yourself – you’re totally worth it. Have your own back. If Mr Right hasn’t shown up, if Mrs Right now is lacking in basket delights…shop around. That’s why we have so many shops!

Be the fairy tale, but not Cinderella’s – be your own damsel and rescue yourself. Oh and never settle – fight for your happily ever after and never worry if anyone else agrees with it, they’re busy writing their own fairy tale…or haven’t had the wisdom to read this blog and have sad judgmental baskets of shopping.