Quote from The Boy, The Mole, The Fox And The Horse

My son wears a blazer to school and never puts things in his outside pockets because they are large and square and vulnerable to theft, I thought it seemed such a sad pocket left empty. He is half way through secondary school and I felt we needed a little more joy in our school morning routine, added to which he eats me out of house and home…I invented pocket cake.

Each morning I pop a piece of cake wrapped in tin foil into his blazer pocket. It’s not for break or part of his lunch, it’s an added extra.

I bake weekly and so always ensure I have a slice of something to add. It never had nuts in it, due to school policy and he travels on public transport. some recent bakes include ginger biscuits, Soreen (homemade) with butter, banana cake, chocolate chip muffins, carrot cake, cookies and brownies.

A couple of days into pocket cake I’d forgotten to hand him a piece and he asked where his pocket cake was? I quickly and rather aggressively explained that pocket cake was not an entitlement. It was an exchange of love that I chose to give. Sure, I have to feed him three meals a day but pocket cake was an exchange of love. It was for days when it’s dark outside, raining or the heaviest of Mondays, it was mine to give and not his to take.

With the boundaries of pocket policy in place, I would daily sneak a piece of cake into his pocket. A reminder he was loved, a calorie lift on a windy morning…but it became much more.

As a teen you can feel invisible and he shared it made him feel seen, it was a silent exchange that didn’t require words…plus who doesn’t love cake.

To be honest, I’ve now began packing pocket cake for myself of wet dog walks or long days where a self love boost of cake can help, the instant joy of a first bite and the slightly cheeky feeling of eating cake when one wouldn’t normally is extremely joyful.

A week or so a go, he gave his pocket cake away. A friend of his Grandad had died. He came home to apologise for not eating it, hoping I wouldn’t be disappointed. He explained that his friend needed it more than him and I explained I was proud of him. Pocket cake was becoming a community affair.

I realise I may be encouraging diabetes but a piece of fruit doesn’t have the same homemade love cake does. That and as a teen I’m pretty sure his metabolic rate is incredibly efficient.

Pocket cake is a little family tradition that I plan to keep doing. Perhaps not daily in the warmer seasons but regularly enough, it’s a connection and a point of conversation that doesn’t need nagging or isn’t about responsibility, it’s a fun calorie lift that I’ve since found out he often scoffs before 8am!

Do you have any frivolous or fun traditions that help you stay connected to your teen? Right I’m off to bake flapjacks…