Unless I am myself, I am nobody

Virginia Woolf

Authenticity is one of the many things that makes you wonderful. Talents vary, interests unique – you are you and that in itself is precious.

I began this blog when my son was about nine months old and in hindsight I’d probably lost myself between career, homemaker and my new role as Mum. It makes sense that I sought a creative outlet, a place to be me, some where that I could voice my thoughts and dance to my rules rather than plan and prepare for others.

Life can move so fast that you can get caught in variations of yourself that don’t allow you to balance all of the aspects that make you happy. For some it’s hobbies that get boxed up due to work commitments, for others it’s suppressed emotions or family life that requires your full attention.

Dreams and whimsical notions are often the first things that we shed when life gets busy, but often they bring joy and hope for better versions of ourselves. Creative outlets can be hard to maintain and time with those that we love can sometimes get lost between mundane tasks…so what can we do?

Make a cup of tea, cut a slice of cake – if that brings you joy and grab some paper and a pen. Whilst you sip your tea write a list for things you are grateful for and in the next column write down a ‘to do’ list, not in this case the ‘pick up milk’ and chore type but the one that you’d like to do…the things you’d like to do, like to experience or have more time to do.

Next comes the hard part, making it happen. You don’t need to do the whole list overnight, in fact the list may take a life time and if you review it every few months, you may find your desires alter. What I can guarantee is that small shifts and being true to yourself will improve your quality of life.

Warning: being authentic to yourself is contagious and may increase your wellbeing, quality of life and health.

I reviewed my list at the start of the summer break and wrote down ‘drink more water’ – I know that I am happier when I’m hydrated but honestly sometimes I just forget to drink enough. To ensure this happened I made sure I drank from my glass bottle, kept it in the fridge between sessions and gave myself a goal that I could manage. Every time I reached for my water I was prioritising me and that in turn made me feel better about myself.

Another I did a little while ago was I started recording on instagram what I was reading. I just took photos of the covers and sometimes wrote a few words about the books to make me accountable, as last year I read less than previous years. Reading and making time for my imagination is never not a good thing and books are something that bring me a wealth of joy and sometimes knowledge too.

Unless I am authentic to the life I want to live, I can easily get swept in a life that mirrors those around me. The images online that the algorithm send me, the goals my friends have and I feel I should do too, progressing in my career in the same manner the person above me has…I need to check I am happy with my choices, the way I spend my time and with who. Unless I am myself…I am lost.

Are you aligned to your authentic self? you know him/her well when you lose track of time, feel content and aren’t always exhausted. If you look in the mirror and like who you see…

Little me would save me to her Pinterest board

Firstly, a little homage to Pinterest; the little app that I’ve been loving for decades that isn’t trying to be like every other app…contently making boards and window shopping for visually pleasing or specifically themed images forever. I love it! My favourite thing about Pinterest is the secret boards – just for me. Not everything has to for the world, sometimes a little secret board fills my soul of whimsy images and joy.

This blog picks up a lot of traffic from Pinterest, as I upload each post weekly…feel free to join the Pinterest page at: https://pin.it/1uLD19eb6 and follow the fridge journey.

So why would little me adore forty year old me? I think about little me a lot; her likes, joys and hopes. At four years old I wanted to be a teacher when I was older – done!

When I put my sparkly jelly shoes on (no straps, cheeky little heel)…I know little me approves. These are what she wore and would take a full day of summer holidays dedicated to finding. The more glitter the better.

What I wear, do, places I go are often mentally approved by little Lucy. A pink princess who loved Care Bears, Shera and Roland Rat knew her own mind and wasn’t influenced by others, and nor am I now. Of course we evolve, grow up, develop and learn…but I’m truly at my happiest doing things little Lucy enjoyed too…being in nature, playing in water, snuggling dogs (although Little Lucy went through a fear of dogs when a dog down our street ran off with one of the sparkly jelly shoes mentioned above – luckily Mummy ran after the dog and returned victorious, whilst I sobbed in shock that the fluffy ball of joy robbed me), not much has really altered. I still enjoy baking, reading, nature and all the little Lucy elements of life.

Connecting with our inner child isn’t just for people in counselling, it honours ourselves and who we are, our journey.

At around three years old, I had an invisible friend, well husband called Steve. He was an electrician and went to work on a aeroplane, mainly to Africa. If a plane went over head I would remark on whether Steve was on board, heading home or off to Africa for a shift. My forever Mr F is sadly not called Steve, or an electrician- but when we met he did go to Africa for work! *Did little Lucy know? I doubt it but it made for a good serendipity chuckle.

Give time this week to do something the little you would adore, perhaps a historically favourite snack (dolly mixtures), watch a favourite show (Snoopy and Charlie Brown) and honour the littlest version of you, for she/he is your foundation of all things good. Enjoy