All the small things…

Blink 182 lyrics.

I’ve recently discovered a hack to get things done. It’s blown my tiny forty plus year old ADHD world. It started with my son’s bedroom. It badly needed painting and I planned to do it over the summer, I got as far as purchasing the paint. Why would I procrastinate over a small weekend DIY job? I dislike home decorating.

Cut to ‘back to school’ September and the paint tins glared at me with begrudging taunts. Something had to change.

It began with one wall. I did it in a couple of hours. To achieve the painted wall I had to move everything near that wall out, get the paint stuff out, complete the job and then put everything back. I did it whilst the family were out at judo training. I looked at my first coat with pride and I decided which wall I’d do next and when. Slowly, Judo training session by Judo training session I worked my way around the room, I’m not yet finished but I’ve found an achievable momentum and over the next few weeks, a few hours here and there – the room will be decorated.

My two takeaways: obviously, I still don’t like painting walls but the job is getting done. Overall it’ll take me longer – what with the putting everything in and out of the space each time but it’s better than procrastination and nothing being achieved.

Taking the task in bite size pieces also means I’m making few errors, this does save me time. Had I of ever found a whole weekend to commit to the task, I would have painted with resentment and made mistakes that I’d then have to wait to dry, to then redo and solve. My brain works fast but that doesn’t always mean my skillset can keep up and if I’m hurrying a task (especially one I don’t want to do), mistakes are plentiful and in my experience often costly.

This week, I purchased a spot cleaning carpet cleaner. I’d procrastinated about purchasing one for a while. Previously I’ve hired professionals to do them, but that takes preparation time and logistics of both being home to supervise and being out the home to let them dry. I’ve also rented them before, but that means you have a span of time to move all the furniture, use the cleaner and get it back to the shop…this always leads to mistakes on my part and if I’m truly honest the machine we hired last time was dirtier than my carpets. I’m unsure much was achieved. I knew I needed my own one, this issue was suction. The expensive ones have the best suction and thus do a better job. Plus, I could clean it properly as I go…then I thought about my ‘small tasks’ solution to getting the bedroom done. I then purchased a small spot cleaning but high quality cleaner. Instead of doing whole floors or all the rooms at once, I’ve done sections…

Small, manageable tasks (usually with a time commitment for me) are something I’ve done at work forever (eg. Answer 5 emails and then change task), but only just introduced it to my domestic goddess routine and it made me think about how other people get things done. Perhaps you are great at getting things done in one area of your house and not as great in another. What is it about the environment where you’re more successful and how can you take aspects of that environment and apply it to tasks you struggle with. What I’ve described above is a manageable time frame with a manageable task. All the small things will hopefully become completed tasks, little actions that create momentum. How do you get things done?

In the end we all become stories

Quote Anon

Becoming a story sounds romantic, the reality is a lot bleaker… I never met all of my Grandparents due to them passing away before I was born, but I can tell you stories about them that my parents have told me and I can tell you about by Grandfathers who I spent time with…but what you’ll actually receive by listening to my story is my perspective on past memories, told by me and reflected from my past. Often as humans we share memories with an emotional subtitles such as ‘My Grandad was so funny, this one time…’ or ‘ My Nanny was so brave she once…’ – the bleaker reality is that in under one hundred years your stories like those of my great grandparents will be slowly lost. Our lives will become shared memories and stories, a few will become iconic within familiar circles but most will be forgotten.

What does this mean for today? For me it means to live authentically and not for other souls. To delight in my whimsy corner of the world and to ensure that even when I am considered rude, aggressive or perhaps unkind it has purpose and a truth to me.

Often when people recount a memory you shared, you don’t remember quite the same set of events. As time passes memories fade, alter and different people resonate with different aspects of the experience. It doesn’t mean they are wrong, we all just process moments individually, most forgotten altogether.

If this feels heavy or sad relish the joy in the forgotten. Few people will remember the excessive ‘Rachel from Friends’ hair you attempted to pull off in 1996, the tiny blemish that you doused in toothpaste and worried about all night, even we often forget why we worried all night just a few weeks ago…

Time really is a gift and ‘that’s why we call it the present’ – where possible leave people feeling good and often the stories they will recall will be of a similar nature. We can’t control the narrative and nor should we. Day by day we are all doing our best and sometimes in a blink of a moment our happy ever after has unfolded. For those you have loved and are no longer with us, recall the stories you cherish to others and for yourself be kind and don’t worry about the details, no body else will.