happiness

Muscle up buttercup

~ Fridgesays ~ 19 Comments

Quote from Disney’s Moana – by Maui

Welcome to another Disney inspired rambling. Every now and then I seek a top up of Disney vibes, it allows me to be distracted from the adult world and into the enchanting world of make believe.

However, this quote is my new favourite for the very opposite of that reason – it grounds me, affirms me and is in my opinion much like the quote ‘Man up’ but without the need to be gender specific. When I read this quote I don’t feel the need to lift weights or hit the gym (although I have used it with an impressed tone to praise the other half when he has returned from the gym #bonuspoints) in fact me and weights are about as distant as the UK is from Disney World…

To me this quote says ‘Stop. Dig deep, breathe and you are limitless’ and all in three little words. Often when life feels like a struggle we get absorbed by the mundane, the negative and create walls that stop us from being successful. Yesterday I encountered two events that I’d like to share where I used the ‘Muscle up buttercup’ vibes to defeat the negativity of the universe. The first step to being able to do this is staying aware of your current emotion and being aware of others around you.

With this in mind it will be no shock that my first negative encounter was in the supermarket check out queue. Im standing alone in the line when a woman who was unloading her trolley of items on to the conveyer belt on the opposite till to mine made small talk with me.

*Danger zone warning: small talk is usually pointless but nobody wants to be rude (except Mr F, who for this very reason was sat in the car whilst I went into the supermarket)

The lady makes a remark about the warm weather and I rebound her negative comment about it being ‘too warm’ with my love for a hot climate. However round two was seconds away with her comment about how ‘food shopping seems like hard work’, it was at this point that I deployed the ‘Muscle up buttercup ‘ vibes. I asked her if she needed help, she thanked me and declined. I then said I really enjoy buying fresh fruit and vegetables for my family and thought we were lucky to have such an awesome selection available. She smiled and said she hadn’t thought of that…

Without being consumed by her negative attitude, I turned and focused on the nice things I was about to purchase. It would of been easier for me to agree with her, to not offer help and to moan about the weather but that would have impacted my emotions and in turn my day. 

The next encounter with negativity came from my four year old riding his bike – he screamed, yelled, hollered and wailed from the moment his bottom hit the saddle. It made a twenty minute cycle to the village food festival a painful and slow process of mental torture. I chose not to listen and used my teacher skills to block him out, but for him it made a joyful activity hard. Riding his bike felt like work as he reinforced to himself that he ‘couldn’t do it’ and that much like the lady in the supermarket ‘it was too hard’ and the physical application to a fun cycle became a stop start action of distress.

It was at the point where his tears merged with a river of snot that his Daddy reminded him that he ‘could do it’ and reinforced why he was a ‘champion’ on his bike

*Bradley wiggins need not feel threatened

For the last two minutes of the journey he smiled, beamed and rode beautifully. Somewhere between the pep talk and his actions he had 100% applied ‘Muscled up buttercup’. At home he couldn’t stop talking about how he loved riding his bike and whilst my external body language praised him with a smile, I didn’t share the parental frustration of the misery he had caused for the previous hours during his non stop crying. Perhaps that was my ‘muscle up’ moment?

In parent land and also working with teenagers there are many moments of digging deeper and smiling harder. However, there is one secret to being able to activate the ‘muscle up buttercup’ joy – make the choice. Similar to deciding what you’re having for lunch, it often boils down to a decision to choose to smile, the conscious resolution to not talk to yourself negatively and making the choice again and again to be happy. Some moments are harder than others and it can feel at times like there are no buttercups for you to grasp, but that’s when you need a little more ‘muscle up’. Sounds easy enough? Like most things it takes practise but I promise there is nothing as essential to your wellbeing as a sprinkle of happiness. 

Happiness is homemade #1

~ Fridgesays ~ 15 Comments

Quote by the cracker of quotes – Anon.

Last summer I ran a series on sensory play with my little man which included all the awesome crafty things I was desperate to do, but being a full time working Mumma means I struggled to fit in. However, Mother nature is cruel and I have a three year old who is allergic to colouring, glueing or anything vaguely creative – he is currently more of a Dinosaur roaring fellow than a sit down and create guy. So for now my crayon desires are on hold…

This series is called Happiness is homemade because I truly believe it, what is summer for if not creating memories? It was influenced by a colleague of mine called Ruth. She does a similar thing with her tribe every year and when I first saw it, I knew it was something we would enjoy.

On the first Monday of the summer hols me and my little dude sat down and filled in our dream clouds. I simply asked him what he would like to do. I love to say they were all his ideas, but that would be a huge fib. They include pre planned things we will be doing from going on his first Aeroplane trip to play dates with friends, but I underestimated how opinionated he was on what he would like to do.

We stuck them up with good old blue-tac in our porch, you could place them on a larger piece of paper or I even thought about sticking them on Js bedroom window. Once we have completed each of our clouds we put a sticker on it, I was attempting to stay on theme with sun  / weather themed stickers alas J had the final say and we are now the proud owner of 700 Star Wars stickers.

(see above image) I underestimated how enjoyable J finds the simple things in life – riding his bike and picnics are realitvely low cost but mean the world to him. If your rascal is older they could obviously fill the bubbles in themselves. However, I also forgot that his imagination is huge and so you can see below I’ve now got to rustle up a crocodile? Thanks to a google from Daddy it would seem there is a crocodile zoo in Oxfordshire? Phew.

So whilst we create memories and fill our days with adventures from our clouds – why don’t you give it a go and create your own activity board. You don’t need a little monster to do it with, they could be aspirational goals for the year ahead, the summer vacation or perhaps larger life goals. Another friend who recently retired did a similar thing with what she wanted to do in retirement.

How will you be fulfilling your summer days?

 

Exist to be happy not to impress

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by American author Richard Bach.

One of my indulgent fav’s is my mini series on the delights of the previous month titled #things I’m loving and back last year I posted this little joy  #things I’m loving 2 you may need to have a quick read for the next paragraph to make sense.


Anyway, I think it shows that once purchased my bestie and me seriously didn’t care and wore our best friends t-shirts with giggles (pride was lost during our Univeristy years)

This week my little dude and I were blessed with her arrival and apart from a little t-shirt loving we made time to sneak off for a secret Hendricks Gin at my local (which felt rebellious at one in the afternoon) but was nice to breath in a little ‘us’ time before we walked home and she was on story telling duty with my son who insisted reading occurred in his ‘Igloo’ (she really does love him)


Once little man was snoozing in bed me and Mr F cooked up a storm with this fish dish to wish for. Seriously yummy and not that indulgent at all with the only ‘minxy’ ingredient being 100ml single cream – which split between four was irrelevant…win! We served it with sour dough as a treat. 

Where am I going? Well I realised that in my little bubble it may be a bit ‘unique’ but joy is found amongst us and those we wish to share, I’d never want to go back to my ‘care about what people think’ teenage years – but for those that have entered that bubble, like my bestie – it’s always a blessing.

If you care a little too much what others think perhaps you should also buy bestie t-shirts, drink Gin in the afternoon or read in a snuggly place just because. I know from my own experience that those whose opinions I used to care about are long gone and like a gin – the others get better with age.

*Dedicated to my awesome bestie and the greatest God mother on the planet, we adore you x

Fake a smile and move on…#1

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

 Another Anon quote…
It’s a good piece of advice that many use until they fulfill their desires. Staying strong internally can be difficult  but if you are able to fake a smile it very soon becomes contagious and resonates helping you to ‘real smile’ and feel good.

Faking it until you make it is a strategy that I was researching for myself, hence I came across this little gem and there is something we can all do to instantly to lift our souls on our darker days and it’s accessible to all!

Okay, ready for the secret…listen to up beat, feel good music. With the right playlist you can’t help but tap along. This morning I ditched the radio (lots of waffle talk, a mixture of music that I don’t always enjoy and miserable news) for a few of my most positive / upbeat tracks that honestly had me singing and car dancing (of course that’s a thing) from 6:45am, I cant vouch for how my mini man (he’s 2 yrs old) strapped in the back of the car felt about Mummy singing but it set me up ready to face a full lesson day and I think it made me happier and more productive.

Not convinced? Need some more info…

Music therapy combats the negative effects of depression, dementia, amnesia and mood disorders because it’s like sweets to the brain as our neuron activity spikes with familiar or emotive sounds.

Which sounds increase your happiness will vary from each individual – after all we all have specific tastes, ultimately it’s likely that you’ll be more successful with positive lyrics, upbeat if they’re written in a major key, so the big question is what tracks work for you? I’d really like to know and create a playlist that we can all share.

So, let me begin and despite the fact I’m still a spring chicken (ish) I personally find that the Mo town / RnB / or soul makes me instantly smile.

The three tracks that bounce to mind are…apart from anything by Taylor Swift (cringe):

Whitney Houston – I wanna dance with somebody (my childhood jam)

Luther Vandross – Never too much

Lionel Richie – Dancing on the ceiling.

So please get involve and comment below, scribble on fb, #whatmyfridgesay on Twitter and let me know what makes you dance on the ceiling?

If you are a blogger maybe you could post your own thoughts on music to help fake it before December  comes and we are all hiding from Mariah Carey and what she wants for Christmas!

Thank for reading and sharing ideas 🙂

You can make everybody happy…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Bill Murray.

When I’m looking out for quotes for this little corner of the Internet they are usually motivating, inspiring or thought provoking…then there are quotes from comedians that make me chuckle and literally give me direct advice, no metaphors or analytic skills needed. This is clearly the latter.

I whole heartedly agree – you can’t make everyone happy, and why should you? Nutella would lose its purpose, although I do feel with several friends that have nut allergies in my clique – even Nutella can let the side down at times, I mean anophylactic shock is not my idea of a good time.

So why as humans (and especially as mother) do we feel the need to ‘people please’? I gave this some thought and below are my finding.

1.its easier to people please than listen to them moan.

In essence I agree, but how much worse is it when you’ve put all your fairy dust, love and heart into something and still the miserable individual finds fault. I say let them wallow in self pity and negativity, let them swim in the pool of ‘too much chlorine’ – I’m heading in the opposite direction to a tranquil natural spa of ‘I did my best’.

2. People pleasing makes me feel good when I see them happy

hmm…I suppose it does, but we should do things for loved ones because we want to, not because we want them to love us in return (unless it’s David Beckham – we do whatever it takes to please him in hope he will stay more than 30 seconds)

3. people pleasing is kind and helpful

Let’s not confuse being a nice person and helping others to doing things with the soul purpose of making them feel good, I’m down with the positive karma, good vibes and doing things for others but how they feel about me in return isn’t worth my time, energy or thought. I love to do things for others  with good intentions, but that’s where it ends.

I could go on, but I think I’m bordering on ranting. Plus, Bill did most of the work in his quote. So open that jar of whatever it is that makes you happy, offer it to those around you and hopefully they will also find enjoyment.