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Embrace the glorious mess you are in.

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote by Elizabeth Gilbert

I often write when the family has settled (AKA doing other things away from me) or I have some time to allow my thoughts to type themselves up – its true, I often haven’t a clue what I’m going to write about, I just have an urge to type or my head feels overwhelmed and there is an inbuilt need to ‘type it out’.

Today I feel overwhelmed to type and armed with a cup of green tea, my MacBook Air and a vase of pretty flowers my bestie bought me you’d think i’d be ready to write in solitude and Instagram greatness…look a few inches from my dining room table and my son has turned my living room into a scene from a horror film, Star Wars is blaring from our TV and chaos incapsulates my home as the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it, Mr F is stomping around the home looking for something he has put down several days a go (I’ll give him a few more minutes of searching and then put him out of his misery, as I locate said item in thirty seconds with my inbuilt mother vision detective device; seriously I’ve got skills when it comes to finding lost socks, cufflinks or keys since giving birth).

My son has just interrupted me to ask me to read him a story. I stopped typing and read to him.

I read a lot about motivation, affirmations, letting go, manifestations and goal setting. Whilst I realise that to move on and up we need to visualise, make progress steps and surround ourselves with positive people, today Ive decided to embrace the chaos.

Letting go

Sure my entire home isn’t the way id like it, I hate my kitchen (new kitchen coming soon), there is often too much clutter and everything doesn’t have a place. Working full time means I don’t always have time to clean to the standard I would like and this can cause me to become anxious, although saying that I probably prioritise family over dusting if I did get a day for such things. Beyond the home, balancing work and play often gets befuddled and there are periods of time when the plates I’m spinning crash to the floor and slowly with the help of loved ones I brush myself off and pick up the pieces of plate scattered around me, often there is also a phase of life where there are sharp edges all over my life that I have to avoid stepping on – broken plates like life often throw a pointed edge into the mix. However, if I look at my living room and past the chaos, my son is happily playing in a giant box in the middle of his toys. The box is Gotham city and he is jabbering contently about Batman saving the city from ‘the clutches of the Joker’. I’m learning that if you let go over the negative, a positive scene is often playing out right before your eyes.

Im not adulting today

Growing up I thought that adults had it made, that they knew everything and had all the answers, its probably why we all step up the ‘growing up’ phase in the teenage years in hope to get to the good bit. Only to find its a trap.

Being an adult is a bit like a toddler in a pushchair; you spend your entire shopping trip trying to convince your parents to let you out of the chair and the rest of the trip trying to get someone to carry you or let you back in the chair for a comfy snooze. I am that adult trying to avoid making decisions, stepping away from responsibility and avoiding paying bills like the plague.

Every now and then I allow myself a day or a few hours from being an adult, today is that day. My son can eat chocolate for every meal if he wants and the house chores can wait until tomorrow. I may prioritise painting my nails and I will certainly be wearing stretchy clothes because I am bound to also eat far too much chocolate and the extra elastic will help. I will drink far too much tea and may play some of my vinyls too loud. I will play with my son the games he wants me to play, even though I haven’t a clue about ‘The force’ or the galaxies he finds delight in.

I will submerge into the now and let go of the routine… tomorrow I’ll adult and use ‘The Force’ that I’ll learn about later today to clean this place up to an adult standard, tomorrow I will discipline and create structure…but today I will let go and enjoy the glorious mess that life has given me, I’ll choose to see through the mess and enjoy the moments of sparkle.

Now lets put that kettle on…

One day…

~ Fridgesays ~ 61 Comments

Quote unknown

When I grow up I want to be a Mermaid. I blame Ariel and Eric, oh and Sebastian the crab (lobster?) well you get the idea. 

I love swimming and brushing my hair, I have a great collection of both bikinis and shells…Unlike The Little Mermaid I’m thinking ‘down there where it’s wetter’ may be more ideal. (No innuendo intended) 

I do like to eat seafood which may mean I’m a little friendless but ultimately I feel I have both the skill and capacity for taking my new lifestyle to the next level. 

So one day I will be a Mermaid, what am I waiting for? Why delay? Well, I’m actually waiting for techno dudes to stop concentrating on fighting deadly virus’s and creating sustainer villages, iPhone 800’s and such to focus on building me a fin. Several years ago there was a craze to crochet mermaids tails, my mum said she would give it a go for me but I’m not sure a fabric that isn’t water proof is what I’m looking for in my attempt to be ‘Part of that World’ long term. 

If you think I’m being ridiculous then you’ve misunderstood the tone of my post, one day I will be a Mermaid. When I was four I decided I wanted to be a Teacher. I would line my dolls and teddies in lines and take the register for hours in preparation…an education and a degree later and I MADE IT. 

However, perhaps if this is ‘day one’ I really should think about some of the obstacles in my current life and try tackling them, after all we all need a plan. Plus you can’t always trust in technology taking its time, what if my fin arrives sooner than expected? Firstly, I wrinkle in water – Arial seemed wrinkless in the 90 minute animation, so perhaps I could increase my wrinkle cream rountine and take longer baths in preparation. (Tick)

Also, I’m not a fan of being cold – so family move to a hot climate with tropical sea conditions may be necessary. I’ve just asked Mr F about this and although keen on a warmer climate I feel he isn’t taking the move seriously, I could be wrong but the sentence construction he just used involved many blue words not found in the dictionary and ended with ‘are you still talking’.

Whilst I get him use to the global migration of our family I’ll tackle another issue – I’m not keen on getting my hair wet. Yes, I am that blonde in the pool who over stretches her neck and gives children evil glances for even thinking of splashing her with the liquid she is surrounded in. I’ve watched the Disney classic again and from what I can see in or out of the water Arial has the same insanely gorgeous hair, so perhaps this comes with the fin? Like a bolt on can for phone contracts… (half tick)

Still reading and thinking I’m insane…no more insane than you if you have a dream and today isn’t your ‘day one’, leave the ‘one days’ to Disney and make those dreams happen. 

Confidence is silent 

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

Quote Unknown

Its no coincidence that I blog using quotes as my inspiration, I’m like the mother of Gus in ‘Fault in our stars’ and could easily have quotes all over my home, from cushions to walls, tiny plaques hanging from every door handle and post-its hidden in my sons lunch. Luckily I live with Mr F who is awesome at curving such ideas when they get out of hand. We have a limit on items I find joyful like candles, pebbles or in this case quotes.

I really do enjoy analysing them, researching the author and delving into the potential meanings to move my own journey in life forwards, I hope that in some small way as readers you also connect with the content and amazing doors of opportunity open for you.

This quote isn’t like the others.

Its unique.

I wrote my full post on this quote a week a go, gave it to Mr F to spell check and generally look over when he said some words that he has never said before…”you can’t put that out, it doesn’t work – start again”, I’d like to say at this point I defended my work and told him where to go, but I didn’t – I wasn’t even upset. I knew he was right.

*disclosure: Mr F cannot use the written word above against me, particularly in arguments around ‘Im always right babe’

Why do I think its unique? because as I read it I realise that this quote doesn’t require analysis, its all there for us to absorb, it is my reality everyday; people who approach me with ego and arrogance who project their insecurities at me in a feeble attempt to cover up their self conscious beliefs verses those that magnetise me, not because they are going out of their way to capture my attention, far from it – I’m captured by the magnetic force of sincerity, when praising them they respond with heartfelt gratitude and as a person they have depth, morals and all that complex stuff in between – sure they may have weaknesses, but they are grounded and don’t feel the need to project them at me.

So how do you alter what you are projecting if you are off balance?

  • Avoid conversations with people about weight loss and appearance, it is rarely helpful and often leads you in to a negative cycle of conversation.
  • Practise self love and self worth – you can do this by grabbing a note book and listing/ focusing on the things you like, the talents you have and the assets you can offer the world
  • Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people

And if all of that isn’t enough then new research suggests that placing your hands on your hips (in a super hero way, not a tea pot) for a few minutes increases you inner energy and other people see this in you – without you having to publicise it. If this feels a little seventies Superman (no such thing!-Mr F.) for you then I’ve even known friends who have done this in a toilet cubicle before an interview (and got the job 🙂 There is even a TedTalk about it by Amy Cuddy.

Stay blessed this week and focus on the assets your body has and the friends who leave you beaming.

Attitude is a little thing…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 

 Quote from Winston Churchill. This is post is a reminder to keep our emotions balanced.

Working in an environment with over a thousand teenagers – I literally have a degree in attitude, so it is natural for me to talk about this part of my life.

However, attitude in society is much more interesting to me.

Last weekend Mr Fridge and I went on a date night, part of the date included a meal. Our waitress was scary and angry and well…sad. I knew that her attitude was going to end up backfiring on her. Seconds later a customer (on another table may I add) blew his top with her, as sad as I felt for her I couldn’t help thinking she had attracted negativity.

On Sunday we sat at Blackwall tunnel for a hour in static traffic and the attitude of some drivers was hysterical…nudging forward (remember I said the jam was static), cursing and making themselves upset…got them no where. We didn’t go anywhere either but we weren’t near to needing assistance for a heart attack.

I think attitude is a fine line…too passive and you get walked over, too assertive and you can become queen bossy boots and too aggressive usually lands you up in trouble. A balance of emotions is essentially as important as a balanced diet or work/play lifestyle.

Balanced emotions can get really good results, to be assertive is hugely attractive for a lot of people, especially in the work place. I do remember a teacher that I had in when I was at secondary school…he was angry before he walked in the place and we (a group of about 30 kids) knew exactly what buttons to press to cause him to explode. I do feel a little bad that I participated in this but at the same time I learnt very little in Science due to his (the adult) emotions.

Saying that, nobody is perfect and we all have days where we snap or bite. I guess those are the days that we lose our attitude balance?

I have to end of something that was intrenched into my soul throughout my childhood, it’s pretty obvious really – but manners do go along way and cost nothing. A please, thank you, compliment or even opening a door can adjust another persons attitude to you, it’s hard to be angry with someone who has just allowed you to pass through the door you are opening for them with a huge smile, and if you can help others adjust their attitude – you’re someone who is pretty special.