quote

She’s a Queen bee with a little bit of savage

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote by R.h.Sin

Oh hello wonderful quote! This time we aren’t talking Beyonce (for once) but instead the female ability to flip from princess to distress in seconds. Having conceived a little male monster I can also confirm there is no gender bias here and I have 100% experienced this with him, today he has cried over:

  • His cheese wasn’t cheesy enough
  • Putting on his shoes to go to the park
  • leaving the park
  • being asked to pick his toys up
  • being told its bed time

and then within seconds smiling and giggling like the dude he usually is.

I’m specifically focusing on female diva’s because I’d like to share some new research that I’ve recently learnt and found totally sparkly. I did the research because I work in an all girl secondary school. This means that with approximately 1,250 uterus’s a hormonal melt down can be happening at any moment (most moments) between the hours of…well all hours.

My Mr F jokes that during my period (yup I wrote the word down) I could literally get away with murder, a quick google and sure enough there are several cases where due to extreme mental and hormonal surges women have killed and not served a sentence because they were ‘deemed emotionally unstable’. Men you have been warned and ladies I’m guessing this doesn’t surprise us. I can usually see a pattern in the older girls that I work with on a regular basis and their menstrual cycle, how they are feeling / the volume of tissues I’m going through in that week.

So I came across an article that led me to another article that I’d love to quote (but didn’t save, sorry) that taught me that the moon and our cycles are at one with each other. Given that the moon controls the oceans tides and spending time with our female bestie means our cycles can synchronise, again it wasn’t a huge surprise – it just wasn’t something I’d ever considered.

*Incidentally while we are getting all ‘moon chat’ (yup thats a thing now) my son is convinced that the moon is made of cheese and you can ‘taste the rainbow’ – the power of advertising…

So, in essence there are four dramatic changes in the cycle of the moon

  • Quatre Phase
  • wax
  • full
  • wane

Of course we don’t all synchronise on the same phase of the moon, so different patterns in fertility and menstruation have different effects and different women. See even the moon is diverse; from Wax where women tend to feel inwards and self-nourishing. It’s meant to be an awesome time to think, to learn, to read, and to plan. So any big plans beyond our uterus, wait for a Wax moon. To a full moon which is meant to symbolise fire, abundance, power and vitality, these are just snippets of whats out there…and now a dash of hope, according to a further google you can coordinate and sync your period to coincide with a better moon cycle for yourself. So if you are having a hard time with mother nature and aren’t part of a Native American tribe where you can go to a hut away from everyone and relax, you can at least move to a more convenient moon cycle.

Wherever you are in your cycle or if you’re a gentlemen tip toeing around the female members of your household, bare in mind the moon may have a part to play in her temporary moment of savage and she’ll soon be back on top and a Queen Bee. I guess we can also just be too tired and a little hungry, having days where we don’t want to play and thats okay too. In this corner of the internet I will always preach that we all need to be a little gentler to ourselves no matter what our race, gender, religion or postcode…or today how the moon causes us to feel.

Moon hugs.x


 

 

There is a strong shadow where there is much light 

~ Fridgesays ~ 44 Comments

Quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

To my little dude,

Our diary is always a whirlwind of dates, appointments and activity and there is a huge transition that is dominating the pages in September, you start school.

From the moment you were born and placed in my arms you have been transitioning, it has been a blessing to watch. I cannot underestimate this, many parents are worried for the loss of their babies, the independence of going to school can be concerning and I often hear comments like ‘It feels like only yesterday she was born’ or ‘He isn’t ready for school’ for you im excited to see your world grow and skills expand. I’m extremely at home in the school environment as Mummy is a teacher and this feels a blessing and a curse – I know the highs and lows like the back of my hand.

At four years old your humour is a magnet greater than any computer could create. Just this very evening we laid on your bed and you played me twinkle twinkle on your harmonica – it sounded dreadful, but your laughter was infectious as you broke out into a variation of the song which began twinkle, twinkle chocolate bar…” this is a gift that it precious, don’t let other children’s comments curve your humour.

At the moment you wear a combination of clothes and then you usually like to add an accessory or twenty from various Marvel characters, following fashion is fine but I’ll always support your creative flair and imagination.

I think you’ll like the staff and you already have many friends to play with in your class. You’ll have opportunities that I could never give you to socialise and learn, I really want you to grow in your own way, not with my regrets or desires forced upon you. To make this easier I’m going to make a few promises…

  • I promise not to make you do a extra curricular club because I did it, or Daddy did it…you can pick
  • I promise that as you learn to read, I will still read to you as long as you want
  • I promise to listen to you talk about your day, rather than hurl questions at you as I walk through the door
  • I promise you that as you grow older and forget things I will never drop a PE kit / lunch box to you, save your phone credit. Resilience and organisation are self taught by error.
  • I promise not to show my anxiety over your first few weeks at school.
  • I promise to help you in any way I can to fulfill your potential, but your happiness is paramount.
  • I promise to back you up when issues arise. As long as you are always honest with me.
  • I work full time and will rarely be at the gates, but if you need me I will always be there. I will also be there any time I can, when our school diaries don’t synchronise.

When you are older, we will look back at this September as a small step on a wonderful and exciting journey that you are taking. It’s not always a parents duty to be next to you, but I will always be a shadow.

Love you to the moon,

Mummy x

P.s. Good luck to the staff trying to get you to sit still and hold a pen.

You gotta nourish to flourish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Every now and then I see a quote and it lights my universe. 

At the moment I am planning kitchen renovations and I wouldn’t mind this little quote hanging somewhere? Food for thought (See what I did there)

Nourish according to the dictionary means ‘to provide food or the opportunities for people to grow and be in good condition’ 

If I’m honest when I see the word nourish I think of food, but what else do we need?

Self belief: if you can dream it, then you can make it happen. This is essential not just to be able to flourish but to be able to sustain any kind of growth (and that includes happiness) 

Drive and desire: these are easy to have and harder to actually make happen. Usually because they require us to get out of our comfort zone and perhaps even take a risk or two. I’ve found since becoming a parent that often the risk is scarier because of my son. However, surely the dream is always ultimately the better finish line for him to see me arrive at?

Tribe: a good family, neighbours, work colleagues and friends all help to make a little ‘you’ community. When the chips are down, don’t panic – team ‘you’ will be there like a giant pillow of love and comfort – looking around and it’s a bit sparse, no problem, sometimes the harder moments let us know which team members require demotion. 

Wellbeing: be it physical or mental you need to make your health number one. Balance is key to this; I’ve written thousands of posts on the issue so for more info read everything I’ve ever written, pretty much – give or take a gratitude post, oh…

Gratitude: a sprinkle of thanks and a piece of humble pie can not only make you a favourite amongst your tribe but you’ll find you manifest and receive even more than you thought possible…seriously Beyoncé and all the big divas are always thanking the people that surround them. 

P.s. Not such a big diva as Queen B but thanks for reading and I hope you leave a little more nourished. If not, what area do you need to step it up in? 

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.

~ Fridgesays ~ 33 Comments

Quote from Seth Gadin.

I’ve mentions numerous times in posts that I spent my childhood bubble wrapped due to my Dads overwhelming need to ensure my safety. Ultimately this has meant that I’m not exactly an adventure seeker…I’m more ‘glamp than camp’ and more ‘all inclusive than gap year’. 

In recent years, since raising my son I’ve had to move out of my comfort zone in order to allow him to see me role model both trying new things and pushing boundaries. In case you think this post is about selling all your worldly possessions and moving to Antarctica – you are very wrong. 

We all live in a comfort zone of what makes us happy and we all have our individual thresholds for what scares us or that we perceive we ‘can’t do’. For some it’s a trip to the Dentist, others it’s a fear of deep water or my son it’s generally everything. The annoying this about his emotional breakdowns of ‘Mummy I can’t do it…” is that within minutes of trying he usually aces things. He turned four in March and can swim unaided and ride his bike without stabilisers…the tears are unnecessary (try telling him that). 

I make plans to scare myself or push myself every few months, it’s good for the soul and good for my development and progression. I can’t think of anything worse than becoming stagnant. 

In the coming months I’m embarking on a new linky with a lovely companion, Hayley from Mission Mindfulness by my side. I’m not sure what coding or running a linky really entails? I’ve done some research and I’m willing to make mistakes and put in the work required to make it a success…that’s living and not settling. 

I guess this crazy world is here for us to explore and taste, to meet new people and form new bonds. Otherwise you can plod a long until your last day, with only the Tesco shop on a Tuesday to get you out of the home.

Sometimes when I have a mental block against something I use EFT. There are many websites and links that can explain it better than I could. You may wish to use a practitioner to guide you then DNA unleashed is a good start, there is also some blurb on this website about what the technique can offer, in essence it can help with anything from a phobia to a past trauma or everyday stress. 

Whatever your blocks, use this moment as a sign to attack your fears. They don’t have to be huge and may seem mundane to others. Warning: satisfaction from making progress is highly addictive and can lead to a better quality of life. 

*Links not PR related and words and thoughts are my own 


 

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Rock bottom has created more heroes than privilege

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Anon.

Rock bottom is a place I have been within my own journey and not one id like to visit again any time soon. The great thing about us as individuals is that everybody’s rocks are at varied levels, like a metamorphic rock; some of us are granite and have experienced challenge following grief, others are more slate and have been homeless, broken hearted may be a layer of Anthracite and within the stages of rock making much like humans there are thousands of layers.

There is one huge positive about your individual layer of rock bottom…things can only get better. It may sound obvious and perhaps patronising but there is also a delight in knowing that however bad your today is, tomorrow will be better simply because it can’t get any worse. The real issue is seeing that in the bleak depths of rock bottom.

Gratitude is a way to raise your current reality. Appreciating what you do have, rather than wallowing in what you don’t is a hard but necessary step in raising your vibration (one thats easier said than done) when life throws you a new level of rock bottom you didn’t know existed.

I also have a huge amount of respect for individuals who are now considered great within our history books and came from rock bottom.

  • Oprah Winfrey came from poverty and is now the richest billionaire black woman of our times.
  • Celine Deon was the youngest of 14 children (ouch) and grew up with very little, she now is worth around $400 Million.
  • Jim Carrey when young was made homeless and his family lived in a van…he now makes $20 million per film and is well known for his upbeat and grateful vibes and of course his humour.
  • Jay Z grew up in poverty and around crime – he even shot his own brother aged 12. From crime came a hungry talent that values the rapper at around $550 million

Of course it isn’t always about money. Many people grew up without love and experience  fantastic relationships in their adult life or have rock bottoms that involve other ‘lacks’ and find them as they age.

Privilege however doesn’t seem to have the hunger to do well that poverty and a lacking nature can offer. There are many aristocratic families within the UK that achieve very little for their families wealth or persona. Not great news for the ‘Made in Chelsea’ crew; although none of them seem to be falling on hard times just yet.

However, I believe that the real essence of this quote is about hope. This little four letter word is crucial to anyone wishing to have a better tomorrow. Hope has fed thousands and continues to do so across the globe daily. Hope usually manifests itself in small amounts, much like a seed. It doesn’t require much to nourish it to the next level – a few drops of water and some sunlight and great things begin to happen. As a stalk appears abundance can expands and from one small seed with very little life can come a wonder of blossoms, beauty, nectar and nutrition.

So if you are at rock bottom, I offer you a seed of hope and with a few small actions or risks can come the motion towards a life you use to dream…plus its cold and wet at rock bottom, what have you got to lose?

Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Dale Carnegie

As a teacher, at the beginning of new terms or even on a Sunday evenings getting the ‘fear’ is not uncommon. Something about standing on the edge of a new week can seem rather daunting. For some, it means another week of demands, overwhelming task and the race of life – chasing that never ending ‘to-do’ list. Of course the ‘fear’ isn’t just a teacher or student concept – the ‘fear’ is inclusive to the entire human race. Sadly.

During exam periods I always encourage my pupils to books several big events during the revision / exam period – it gives a positive focus to what can seem like a never ending carousel of post-its, essay practise, and highlighting sentences. This year one of my high anxiety pupils booked a concert, a meal with friends (no revision cards allowed) and her Mum booked her a ‘surprise weekend’ which turned out to be some well needed family time at Centre Parks.

When I first became a Mummy on maternity leave I realised that I would quickly need a similar recipe for success and sanity. Money was an issue, so instead I treated myself to smaller treats like ‘posh teas’ and made sure I had time to drink them hot (oh the luxury). I used cooing visitors or close family to have bubble baths and silly treats of time mainly to straighten my hair, paint my nails or frankly just sit alone with a book or just to daze out of the window. I guess in some respect this post is a similar message to my last post found here, which is about prioritising yourself.

However, this week I want to take that message one step further – to creating moments of joy in the humdrum of life. To planning family time that units all members and to crucially prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.

If you look at many of the people winning at life, from Oprah to Louise Haye meditation is key to their mental well being and subsequent happiness and success. I recently embarked on an 8 week mindfulness course. Many of the aspects of the course I found unhelpful – either because I already do them or chewing a raisin for twenty minutes just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. I signed up for the course because I was keen to increase and perfect my meditation practise. My instructor gave us a CD full of mediations of different time spans and contents, but I have always found youtube to be an awesome source of led meditation (if thats your thing). I have a few favourites that motivate, chill or empty my mind. During the course I was foolishly waiting for the moment when I had perfected my meditation process and could leave proudly announcing to the world that ‘I can meditate’ and hold my certificate proudly…only to discover that its a daily working progress and you can’t actually meditate incorrectly. In essence for non-meditating readers; you focus on your breathe and try to stop your mind from wondering off…at the start its a little bit like supermarket shopping with a toddler, with practise you learn that online shopping is best for all and that popping in to Waitrose for some milk and bread is your maximum capacity. You become comfortable in your own skin, head and letting go seems to flow much easier. What they don’t warn you is that is highly addictive and the sense of well being that it can give you is exactly the same as when your child reaches the age where you can monthly shop with them and ACTUALLY enjoy their company.

If you have never tried it – you’re wrong. Ive never met anyone who hasn’t driven somewhere like on a daily commute to work and upon arrival can’t remember the journey. Or perhaps read a book and become so enthralled in the characters and plot that you’ve lost track of time, although not ‘strictly’ meditation these events are extremely similar. Escaping your current reality and the demands of the world and freeing your mind – even just for a few minutes.

The evidence for this practise is abundant and a quick google will put any logical mind at ease. However, if you are someone that resonates with the quote above about worry dominating your life, or perhaps every now and then anxiety pops around for an unexpected cuppa and stays way too long, or you just can’t remember when you last enjoyed the now, the today and the present and instead your mind is busy analysing the ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow, then I promise making a few minutes before you fall asleep and listening to a guided meditation will be the best gift you gave yourself.


 

Know your worth and then add tax 

~ Fridgesays ~ 40 Comments

Okay, so this quote from Anon is going straight into my top twenty of self love quotes! (Yes, that’s right people I used an exclaimation mark) 

I recently posted a YouTube post on my facebook wall from Kristina Kuzmic (link here because it’s well worth a look), I love her feisty vibe and so once you’ve taken a peep imagine I too am sitting in a bubble bath of joy with a glass in my hands as tall as the Eifle Tower. (* reality disclaimer: no drink, sat at the top of the stairs hiding from my family so I can write in peace) 

This YouTube clip combined with this quote makes me feel like Beyoncé on stage in her element. It’s absolutely crucial that as role models of the human race we all make ourselves number one. Why? Because this in turn allows us to serve others (loved ones and the odd  stranger who may need a helping hand) way better. When I’ve had some ‘me time’ I literally can take on the world. It allows me to gain a better perspective on the state of the universe and at the same time prevents me from starting arguments / world wars over how towels are folded, toilet seats left up and all those other household triggers. This in turn makes me easier and way more accommodating to live with. 

But there is a second bonus: my health is better as a result of indulging in myself. I’m emotionally stable (*kind of) and physically healthier. So how do I make time…I ask others to help me out. Whether that be an evenings child care / grandparent indulgence, or I ask Mr F to take over while I sit on the stairs and get this written. 

I also don’t priorities housework and chores over myself. I sometimes wake up earlier to do yoga, read or listen to a podcast when helping hands aren’t available, sometimes when I’m not too exhausted from work I stay up a little later. At other times I seize opportunities to walk the dog and leave the house… I promise whatever your situation if you prioritise you can always find five minutes, you could even start with three.

So, I have a few questions… 

  • Do you make time for yourself?
  • How do you make the time?
  • What do you do with the time?

I swear I’m 95 years old and I seem to choose a hot bubbly bath, time to read, time to write, to sit and drink a HOT cup of tea, some yoga or a sneaky GnT… so if my worth is time to write then surely the tax is a gin and tonic 🙂 stay happy and make yourself number one. 

Muscle up buttercup

~ Fridgesays ~ 19 Comments

Quote from Disney’s Moana – by Maui

Welcome to another Disney inspired rambling. Every now and then I seek a top up of Disney vibes, it allows me to be distracted from the adult world and into the enchanting world of make believe.

However, this quote is my new favourite for the very opposite of that reason – it grounds me, affirms me and is in my opinion much like the quote ‘Man up’ but without the need to be gender specific. When I read this quote I don’t feel the need to lift weights or hit the gym (although I have used it with an impressed tone to praise the other half when he has returned from the gym #bonuspoints) in fact me and weights are about as distant as the UK is from Disney World…

To me this quote says ‘Stop. Dig deep, breathe and you are limitless’ and all in three little words. Often when life feels like a struggle we get absorbed by the mundane, the negative and create walls that stop us from being successful. Yesterday I encountered two events that I’d like to share where I used the ‘Muscle up buttercup’ vibes to defeat the negativity of the universe. The first step to being able to do this is staying aware of your current emotion and being aware of others around you.

With this in mind it will be no shock that my first negative encounter was in the supermarket check out queue. Im standing alone in the line when a woman who was unloading her trolley of items on to the conveyer belt on the opposite till to mine made small talk with me.

*Danger zone warning: small talk is usually pointless but nobody wants to be rude (except Mr F, who for this very reason was sat in the car whilst I went into the supermarket)

The lady makes a remark about the warm weather and I rebound her negative comment about it being ‘too warm’ with my love for a hot climate. However round two was seconds away with her comment about how ‘food shopping seems like hard work’, it was at this point that I deployed the ‘Muscle up buttercup ‘ vibes. I asked her if she needed help, she thanked me and declined. I then said I really enjoy buying fresh fruit and vegetables for my family and thought we were lucky to have such an awesome selection available. She smiled and said she hadn’t thought of that…

Without being consumed by her negative attitude, I turned and focused on the nice things I was about to purchase. It would of been easier for me to agree with her, to not offer help and to moan about the weather but that would have impacted my emotions and in turn my day. 

The next encounter with negativity came from my four year old riding his bike – he screamed, yelled, hollered and wailed from the moment his bottom hit the saddle. It made a twenty minute cycle to the village food festival a painful and slow process of mental torture. I chose not to listen and used my teacher skills to block him out, but for him it made a joyful activity hard. Riding his bike felt like work as he reinforced to himself that he ‘couldn’t do it’ and that much like the lady in the supermarket ‘it was too hard’ and the physical application to a fun cycle became a stop start action of distress.

It was at the point where his tears merged with a river of snot that his Daddy reminded him that he ‘could do it’ and reinforced why he was a ‘champion’ on his bike

*Bradley wiggins need not feel threatened

For the last two minutes of the journey he smiled, beamed and rode beautifully. Somewhere between the pep talk and his actions he had 100% applied ‘Muscled up buttercup’. At home he couldn’t stop talking about how he loved riding his bike and whilst my external body language praised him with a smile, I didn’t share the parental frustration of the misery he had caused for the previous hours during his non stop crying. Perhaps that was my ‘muscle up’ moment?

In parent land and also working with teenagers there are many moments of digging deeper and smiling harder. However, there is one secret to being able to activate the ‘muscle up buttercup’ joy – make the choice. Similar to deciding what you’re having for lunch, it often boils down to a decision to choose to smile, the conscious resolution to not talk to yourself negatively and making the choice again and again to be happy. Some moments are harder than others and it can feel at times like there are no buttercups for you to grasp, but that’s when you need a little more ‘muscle up’. Sounds easy enough? Like most things it takes practise but I promise there is nothing as essential to your wellbeing as a sprinkle of happiness. 

He can call me Flower if he wants to…

~ Fridgesays ~ 35 Comments

Quote from Bambi

Okay, so when you are ‘up the duff or ‘baking a bun in the oven or just plain ‘with child’ everybody likes to give you advice. It’s usually horrific advice where men tell tales of sleep deprivation and a loss of reality and women share intimate stories of vaginas and stitches (seriously, why has nobody told these women the phrase snitches get stitches?) because frankly when your bun / duff or child is growing inside you and you’re overwhelmed with hormones,the thought of impending responsibility FOREVER and feel the size of a house – you don’t want to hear any advice or the downsides of your situation, in fact this advice should be placed on the side of condoms packets.

When I joined the world of blogger-sphere I also learnt that every Mummy blogger has at least one blog on ‘new mum advice’ and every Dad has some army survival themed post on adjusting to life after birth or preparing for the big day. Not one to follow in the paths of others, I’ve avoided these posts like my son avoids holding a pen because I know that deep down no new parent really wants to hear what I have to say and frankly they’ll work it out.

UNTIL NOW.

If there is one piece of advice that nobody gave me, id want to know the details of what I went through this week because frankly Disney let me down. Regular reader will know that Walt is one of my Best friends and pretty much every Disney film offers me some form of advice in which I apply to my life and impose on you. 

Disney is my equivalent to Breakfast TV or the news, Disney is my go to, my google and my fountain of knowledge. Im constantly applying Mermaid philosophies to my studies, letting it go and loving like the beauty I am and the beast that Mr is when he hasn’t shaved  (I look past the prickles and try to visualise the man he was before he realised that razors are super expensive and beards are vaguely in fashion).

When raising little dude we have always encouraged Disney and he has a DVD collection to be proud of, his favourites are the Toy Story series and Car’s – our Goldfish are proudly named after key characters; Mater and Lightening McQueen and a relaxing afternoon in our home usually involves a Disney DVD, now here comes my advice to all parents, new, young, old or frankly lacking in Disney knowledge…

If you truly love your child more than life itself NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF WATCHING BAMBI. (please read this like I’m shouting at you)

Forget ‘breast is best’ advice, what nappy you recommend, please pass this on to all new parents and i’ll tell the tale of the traumatised four year old and the Mum who f*cked up by trusting in a classic.

Firstly, Ive seen it before, I should of known better. When the hunter first tries to kill Bambi’s Mum (it came out in 1942 so I don’t feel like I’m throwing any spoilers into this) I was quick to tell him that Bambi’s Mum had died….only to see B’s Mum bounce off into a field, I was then branded a liar by my small child. Fast forward ten or so minutes and Bambi’s Mum does get shot. At this point my son looked at me, eyes fully dilated and brimming with tears screaming at me to tell him it wasn’t true…I was lost for words.
We then had to pause the DVD whilst I reassured him that his Mummy (yup me) wasn’t going to be shot anytime soon (its not in the insurance policy) and that the hunter lived far away and wouldn’t hurt any of his friends at preschool or our dog, fish, stick insects or African snails.

With the tears under control I pressed play on the remote (we call it a ‘magic’ in our house – because frankly a remote is like voodoo) and then a bush fire consumed the screen, with my son stuck to my face we watched as a racoon build a raft to a small island, we watched carnage run through our happy Disney place and all the while I was thinking what the hell am I doing to him? Seriously, a cute rabbit with a speech impediment and a giant thump doesn’t really make up for the neglect I had subjected him to. Nobody cares about ‘drip drip drop little April showers’ after Bambi is left traumatised in the snow.

The ending is happy, Bambi and his hot Deer Mumma Faline make Bambi twins, but even this confused him and he thought Bambi had been born again. He also asked how they made the baby Deer’s but frankly by this time I was still speechless and distracting him with chocolate bribery to protect his precious mind from the horror that is Disney’s Bambi.

So, don’t believe the certification of U that the film industry gave it, instead warn all parents everywhere, all Grandparents and anyone who is vague human…or perhaps a Deer (they wouldn’t like it either) to NEVER watch it. His Godmother hit it on the head when I was retelling her my traumatic Bambi failure “Actually there isn’t an age where anyone wants to see that, is there?” Nope, there is not wise Godmother that I selected for my precious bundle, nobody ever.

This is all my parental advice from two pregnancies, a four year old and way too many years of teaching teenagers. 

Best of luck.