No one can make you… 

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

 Quote by Eleanor Roosevelt

First Lady, mother to six children, author of six books and in her spare time helped to write the Universal Declaration of Human Rights…Mrs Roosevelt makes me not getting around to unload the dishwasher look rather pathetic.

What I like best about her is that she  was orphaned at a very young age (oh and that she was in a margarine commercial) and never used this as a disadvantage. Plus she achieved so much in the 1930s when most women were voiceless…

In this context the quote above becomes more potent.

Plus, it’s true. Nobody can make you feel anything – unless you let them. You are in control of your emotions. I watched a lady flip out in Asda’s a few Saturday’s a go. She was disgruntled by the queue, then something the checkout man had mumbled, it was a hot day and as she yelled she repeated that her dog and husband was in the car (I hope she left the window open for her husband) and she didn’t have time ‘for all of this’ – unemotional and distant from the situation I looked on and if I’m honest found it rather humorous, my guess is she was angry / frustrated before she entered the store…

3 rules to entering a supermarket:

  1. Don’t bring the kids if you don’t have to
  2. Don’t shop when you’re hungry – it will cost you a fortune
  3. Supermarkets are designed to increase your emotions – NEVER enter when you’re having a bad day.

And so the ‘all of this’ that SHE had created was causing her far more stress than anybody else. As she made her way to customer services to complain (and my heart went out to the unbeknown customer service team) I prepared myself to cheer up the sad cashier sat in front of me.

He however had obviously seen the quote above, perhaps even read Eleanor’s autobiography because his attitude was generally positive and untouched by ‘crazy hot woman / husband and dog in the car’ episode. Now I realise we all have bad days and I also realise that in a checkout she may not have been the first crazy lady of the day, but he exemplified this quote. He simply chose not to absorb her negatively. I praised him for how he handled the situation and he seemed genuinely grateful, as I made my way out of the store I decided to be a little more like him, I would have made customer services aware but there was a queue and ‘crazy lady’ was at the back of it…plus it was a hot day and my husband was in the car 😉

P.S Happy Birthday Mum x

You are confined only by…

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 Quote by Andrew Murphy.
Ohhh that’s a good quote, until you think about it and realise any misery that you are feeling is your doing…then it’s a stupid quote.

So you can’t pop the kids on eBay, ask for a refund on the husband or even chose not to pay the mortgage for a while…(bank managers tend to not like it when you do that).

You look around and everyone has ‘nicer stuff’ than you,are going on more exotic holidays, driving faster cars…so you bumble along in your average priced car, hoping to ‘get away’ at some point this year and then, that’s when the final straw hits you – the cat pukes in your shoes just as you are about to slide your tootsies in …

Stop.

This is definetly time for a tea break. I’ll pop the kettle on while you bin thoses shoes (seriously you will never wear them again), while we sip our tea how can we get some perspective. Easy, the kids are at times possessed, grubby and completely irrational – but they’re yours. A fresh mummy look tells you that irrational becomes ‘outspoken and independant’, as for the flashy car – it can wait, you’d rather your muddy monsters wiped their snotty noses on the upholstery of your current vehicle anyway (we all hope that one day they will swap a sleeve of their t-shirt for a tissue). You can swap your negatives for positives, and ultimately live a better life.

I recently (I’m so behind) watched the film ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and obviously its a brilliant movie, but what I really liked was that freedom in your mind is untouchable . Whether you are incarcerated by the state like the characters in the film or just overwhelmed by life and a crap car – you always have 2 blessings.

1. You have the power to change it / alter it

2. Freedom of the mind can be untouchable and wall-less

This week maybe it’s time to knock a few walls down? You’d be surprised how well a positive and focused mind can substitute a sledge hammer. Best of luck!

Look in the mirror…

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 Quote by Criss Jami

From my experience this quote seems to be hanging out in the body building community, so what’s a four foot blonde with a love for high heels doing with it?

A lot I hope.

For me personally, I am dipping my toes into one of the fastest growing industries – blogging. I have no knowledge of URL’s and I thought a widget was something you found in Tequila (google informs me its the little worm is called a Gusano!)

I am overwhelmed by blogs that tell me ‘how to blog – the right way’ and today I made a huge decision, inspired Frank Sinatra, “I did it my way”…

Not because I think I know best…we all know I don’t, me more than anyone else, but I wouldnt want this little vertial space to represent anything else but me.

My main reason for beginning this process was to make the world a little better – the internet a bit more positive, its the same with my teaching, I wanted to become a teacher who makes a difference. Some days I feel ive won, other days im just counting down until half term.

I think that life can often be a battle (if you let it), from how to control my mane everyday (today the fishtail plait helped me conquer my frizz) to getting my toddler to put his shoes on…and this is all before you step out in the World and face people that aren’t always pleasant.

So what’s a girl to do? My answer is forget the way ‘they’ think you should be and be the best you that you can be. Competing with yourself and coming out on top, gives results that are always going to make you happy and ultimately a better person. I really do believe that you can have all that you want, it’s just about playing the right game, staying focused and aiming for that goal.

Sure, some days you’ll lose, but the best thing about competing with yourself and is that when you get knocked down….you can try again tomorrow.

Spend some time this week looking in the mirror – what can you improve on? How can you be better? How can you surpass your previous self? I did this a few days ago and am trying to squish in a little more exercise where I can. I’m not going to be the best and I don’t need to be, I just need to be better than I am today. I write this with a clean conscience, knowing I’ve done yoga today. My next move is to get my heels flat on the floor in ‘down dog’ and not look like a drunk jelly bean when doing a head stand…

What are you going to do?

Don’t look back…

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 A quote from Marcia Wallace

I should probably add that this is a book title; I’ve never read it but would love a review below if you have.

As a teacher I often reflect. Was the lesson objective met? How could I adapt that task? Reflection also pops it’s head up in assessment and school reports and I obviously always use the past to form my opinion.

As a woman I look back on past relationships (and wonder what was I thinking?), compare them with close friends and share our tales of arguments and let downs.

As a mother I look at J, secretly compare him to every small goblin we have ever met and rationalise in my brain his strengths, weaknesses and everything inbetween. Completing this task with activities to fill the gaps and enhance his talents.

However, in my brain, the past is irrelevant – I’m moving forward. ‘I’m not going that way’ again, so why credit it with time? After all, we have all learnt that time is such a precious commodity.

I’d be pure Pinocchio if I suggested I don’t think about, analyse and cogitate about the past…I believe we are all on a journey (some more exciting than others) and sometimes we get lost or stay too long in the wrong company, make the wrong choices or simply forget the map. From this, I believe my journey is about being ‘better’ not perfect or maybe ever reaching the goal I’m aiming for – but if I’m aiming,  doing it better. Being a better teacher, a better role model, a better partner, friend and mummy.

I’m not sure I therefore can uphold Marcia’s quote or do it justice. However, I do think it’s a fab quote that is best served when we get caught up in the loop holes of the past or fester for too long in a negative environment. For this, it’s one of my favourites for motivating us to look at the future.

Living for the moment isn’t something I find naturally easy, I’m a teacher – a bell goes off every hour to indicate my next task, class change over or when its break and I can pee. My holidays are routined and training is diarised a year in advance. However, aren’t those spontaneous nights of fun with friends or that unplanned get together with family always the best?

So, despite the glaring calendar all set up and ready for the new academic year – I declare this summer unplanned, moving forward and seizing new opportunities. Who knows I might even draft up a 5 year plan (in pink pen and with colour coded stickers) for my career and home life?

As someone that has little knowledge on 5 years plans, share below your tips for moving things along, I’d really appreciate it.

Sensory play #4 Force

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*disclaimer: not sensory at all….sorry! Still lots to learn.

Last week I taught J about items being ‘the same and different’ and this week I wanted to do ‘push and pull’, mainly because a cart horse in one of his favourite books has been pulling loads and I wasn’t sure he understood?

I then remembered a science lesson (originally aimed at 12 year olds) about force that I adapted for this game.

 The picture really explains all…
You will need:

  • Balloons
  • 2 chairs (or trees)
  • Sting, wool or any other kind of ropey stuff
  • Straws
  • Tape (I used electric tape so that it was more visually obviously, you could use celotape or even plasters.

I basically blew up the balloons (which made j laugh…until one popped, which caused a break down) took a straw and cut it in half, taped the straw to the balloon (see below)

 ‘Ta-dar’ and we were ready to race the balloons by ‘pushing’ them along and then ‘pulling’ them back to the start.
There are many variations that you could do with this – dinning room chairs indoors if it’s raining, more than 2 balloons if you have more little monsters at home, or you could even add height to one end to create a little more gravity. Like I said, I kept them flat because I wanted J to specifically push and pull, plus he is only 2 years old and perhaps an older child may like more challenge…you could even get the monsters to create an obstacle course for the balloons.

The best thing about this was it look 2 seconds to create and was a clear visual aid to teach him. I also left it out for several days (until the balloons shrivelled up) for J to explore by himself.

Warning: popping balloons may send your toddler into hysterics, mine is scarred for life (haha)

image

Attitude is a little thing…

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 Quote from Winston Churchill. This is post is a reminder to keep our emotions balanced.

Working in an environment with over a thousand teenagers – I literally have a degree in attitude, so it is natural for me to talk about this part of my life.

However, attitude in society is much more interesting to me.

Last weekend Mr Fridge and I went on a date night, part of the date included a meal. Our waitress was scary and angry and well…sad. I knew that her attitude was going to end up backfiring on her. Seconds later a customer (on another table may I add) blew his top with her, as sad as I felt for her I couldn’t help thinking she had attracted negativity.

On Sunday we sat at Blackwall tunnel for a hour in static traffic and the attitude of some drivers was hysterical…nudging forward (remember I said the jam was static), cursing and making themselves upset…got them no where. We didn’t go anywhere either but we weren’t near to needing assistance for a heart attack.

I think attitude is a fine line…too passive and you get walked over, too assertive and you can become queen bossy boots and too aggressive usually lands you up in trouble. A balance of emotions is essentially as important as a balanced diet or work/play lifestyle.

Balanced emotions can get really good results, to be assertive is hugely attractive for a lot of people, especially in the work place. I do remember a teacher that I had in when I was at secondary school…he was angry before he walked in the place and we (a group of about 30 kids) knew exactly what buttons to press to cause him to explode. I do feel a little bad that I participated in this but at the same time I learnt very little in Science due to his (the adult) emotions.

Saying that, nobody is perfect and we all have days where we snap or bite. I guess those are the days that we lose our attitude balance?

I have to end of something that was intrenched into my soul throughout my childhood, it’s pretty obvious really – but manners do go along way and cost nothing. A please, thank you, compliment or even opening a door can adjust another persons attitude to you, it’s hard to be angry with someone who has just allowed you to pass through the door you are opening for them with a huge smile, and if you can help others adjust their attitude – you’re someone who is pretty special.

Always kiss your dog good night  

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 This is one of those quotes that you can get printed on anything from tea cups to pencils, because of this I can’t find who first said it? So, credit goes to ‘Anon’
This post is 100% dedicated to my four legged friend – Moët.

 At 5yrs old she now requires glasses, haha no I just love to accessorise and this is one of the reasons I adore her.

She will literally lay down at let me poke her, stroke her and paint her nails (it was only once and I’ve learnt my lesson…a yellow lab clashes with coral polish), we’ve had her since a pup and her story is rather ‘Jeremy Kyle’, her mum Sarah lived on a ranch…ok, it’s the UK so we say farm (but how cool did ranch sound!) she was a black lab, one day a yellow lab male looking for passion stumbled upon Sarah’s ranch….8 weeks later and 2 horrified owners later – Moët was born! (And about 9 others) I called her Moët as she was a combination of my favourite things – a cute puppy that was coloured champagne and my fav sparkle ‘Moët’


Id like to suggest that we became inseparable, alas the picture above lies…her heart belongs to Mr F, she is literally his dog and only has eyes for him. I joke (with serious thoughts in my head) that they were once lovers in a previous life, that and because when she was little they use to have secret naps on the sofa whilst I was at work.

I’m animal obsessed and if it wasn’t for Mr F our house would be a zoo. I’m a sucker for anything with a tail, big eyes or even a shell (I have snails too!) but he puts the breaks down most days. Moët has given us so much; she is beyond amazing with J – he climbs over her, tugs at her and she seems to know he’s a pup and tolerates it. They play together and roll around together…

 Thank you Moët for teaching us that you know best, that you know when it’s 7pm (dinner time) and that you are faithful, loyal and trustworthy (ssshh all those secrets I’ve told you)

And I love her so dearly for loving ‘our’ boy so dearly x

Sensory play #2 clean mud

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When your mum is a teacher and your Nanny spent way too many years between reception and year 2, you can expect sensory play at the drop of a hat.

If I ever have to work late which means pick ups from Nursery become a hassle my parents step in and make everything look effortless. In the last few weeks of term this happened a couple of times.

On one of these occasions,  I went into my dinning room to find my mum grating a bar of soap (like you do) to make soap flakes for a play activity. This is especially good if like me you have a dirt loving child as it smells like a years worth of laundry. IMG_2520

What she did to make ‘clean mud’
Ingredients:

  • Bar of soap (grated)
  • Toilet roll ripped up
  • Add water to desirable consistency ( more than you think, but not much)

Then squidgy it all together. Simple! J could definitely have got involved in the ripping of the toilet paper and who doesn’t love to squidge? Sensory delights and for a few pennies an occupied toddler.

 As you can see from above Mum ‘garnished’ J’s clean mud with some little Dinosaurs and I really think this is an outside activity, unless you are wishing your walls to look like the ceiling of the school toilets (ahh remember thoses day of paper churned up and stuck to the ceiling).

If I’m honest this didn’t really thrill J, but when he has his Grandad Tom on tap to play with, sensory play doesn’t always cut the mustard, or in this case the soap suds.

Give it ago and let me know how clean mud works out for you? There are lots of recipes on Pinterest and some even add food colouring, I quite liked the white effect? It’s snow like. J played with this for about a week, I just placed a carrier bag over the top and left it in the shed, the bonus was the shed smells like heaven!

image

Be filled with wonder…

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  Quote by… Well I’m not sure? I’ve searched high and low and nobody seems to want to claim it, not even ‘Anon’
Whoever put those delicate and delightful words together had their karma in order and there zen in full flow. 

Being touched by peace is something I’m not sure I could ever have appreciated when I was younger, life moved to fast and frankly I was too busy to stop. 

To truly be at peace and not actually be asleep, meditation is the nearest I can get so far. I’m not very good at being quiet or slowing my whizzing mind down, so when I say meditate I mean ‘Fridge style made up meditation’. Basically, I lie on the bed, listen to a mediation app (binaural beats) and take 20mins to just ‘watch’ -I’m nowhere near any sort of  magician, but I do feel ‘reenergised ‘ and often find my brain feels a little calmer and more focused.

Wonder comes easily to my soul. I still hyperventilate when the cheese bubbles on top of the lasagne or often think…or in this case wonder about the world around us, like if we all went to one place in the world would the world wobble? Or, my current wonder – do our new fish watch TV? 

  I’m literally convinced that they do. Incidentally never let your toddler name a pet. The red one is called ‘lightning’, as in Lightning McQueen (heavily influenced by Daddy) and the other is called ‘Doggy’ and technically that’s Doggy 2…ssshh don’t tell him. 

When J first wakes he likes to lie in his cot chilling, he may say good morning to every object in his room or peek through the curtains and announce which neighbour has moved their car or comment on an Aeroplane flying overhead…but mainly he stares at the ceiling and he’s pretty peaceful. Toddlers have wonder down to a fine art; within 4 minutes of me popping ‘finding Nemo’ on he had asked serveral million questions (I also noticed through a two year olds eyes how tragic the start of that film is – dead babies, dead mums, kidnap and sharks) and I realised that by asking questions and finding out more about things we can indulge in our own wonder once again.

Why is it important to wonder? In my humble opinion, this little gem allows our souls to search that bit deeper and our brains to operate at amore enjoyable level.

Make August the month where you take in a little more peace and allow your mind to wonder. Stuck with how to start…give my bullet points below a go. 

Peaceful time

  • Light a candle (I have an addiction for these)
  • Read a book
  • Try a meditation app (I find just after I put my little soldier to bed is best)
  • Write a list of jobs ‘todo’ so that you can go to bed satisfied that you’ve completed the days objectives.

Wonder:

  • Living on the south coast – time out throwing stones in to the ocean (it’s the only good thing about pebble beaches)
  • Read a new genre of book that you wouldn’t normally choose
  • Take 2 minutes to lie on the grass and notice the world – clouds, ants…it’s all happening out there
  • Allow yourself to sound silly (I’m a natural at this)

Happy wondering…don’t get lost and come back soon 🙂