quote

Don’t be bitter. Be better

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote by Habeeb Akande

Welcome fridgesays peeps, this week we are letting go of the bitterness and being better. This sounds simple. In cooking it would equate to a basic sponge cake or a classic scone. However, in my experience the simplest of things are sometimes super hard to make. The sponge can lack a fluffy texture and the scones can be too hard or stodgy.

When I’m feeling bitter (often) it’s easy to compare what others aren’t doing, what they are ‘getting away with’ or just judge with bitterness and disgust, sometimes this can be therapeutic but hold on to the bitterness for too long and if we return to our cake recipes, you’ve just added lemon and lime to a scone and grapefruit to a sponge cake…it’s going to repeat in your mouth, taste ‘unique’ and not be as good as it could be.

My recipe recommendation: It would be easy to say ‘don’t be bitter’ but sometimes a little lime slips into life’s chaotic moments, instead I say, cover that cake in cream and jam.

Jam and cream can make just about anything taste good and in life these are the lovely moments. Instead of becoming bitter of others, reflect on what went well in your day. Gratitude is the cream and jam of life, those little moments of triumph, those sparkles of joy and best of all…they make us better or will at least help us to get to a place where we aren’t moaning about others but are focusing on what we did well.

A better me, makes a better mummy, teacher, friend or family member. So why not leave the lemon and limes for a cocktail and enjoy the cake of life.

Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being you.

~ Fridgesays ~ 30 Comments

Quote by Wayne Dyer.

As we approach the end of the first month of 2018, I felt this quote resonated with every human on the planet who had set a new goal, challenge or New Years resolution. Particularly those who have already hung up their gym pass, quit the diet or has found their soul drowned in another bowl of soup… it happens.

For goal setting targets I’ve written several posts Click here to read why it pays to be stubborn but at perhaps a time that you have ‘failed’ ‘given up’ or realised that dry January isn’t an excuse to drink gin for a month (*I was sad when I heard this too) I want to remind you that you are awesome just the way you are. Sounds sickly I know, but it’s true. You are good at being you. I promise that if you have kids they love our imperfections and all; although I wouldn’t directly ask them. This week I curled my hair and my son (four years old) told me I looked like Rapunzel. As a Disney fan I was blown away – until he corrected me that it was the witch he was thinking of.

I don’t want to bring my children up in a world where perfection is ‘plastic fantastic’ where desirable looks can only be accomplished by a thousand filters and the social media acceptance of an abundance of hearts, likes and comments. I don’t want humans to become robotic and only come in ‘one size fits all’, our imperfections create our beauty.

We all have talents that vary from scientist geniuses, medicinal wizards and international superstars… I make a fantastic roast, can occupy a toddler in a car for multiple hours and give good hugs (not all at the same time), I make a good friend, kind teacher and feel accomplished most days.

As we jump into February I urge you to take five minutes, pour a coffee and write a list of everything you like about yourself. I advise you to be kind to yourself; treat yourself to those new jeans, the shoes or that ‘thing’ that floats your boat. If I was a doctor I would prescribe you with a luxury treatment, a trip to the cinema, or a date night that’s overdue… if you have a new born then I’m adding a hot drink to that prescription. Allow February to be the month you made time for self love, for gratitude for all you do have. I promise it’s more than most.

You’re the best and being you. You’re already winning in 2018, you don’t need to change a thing.

Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument

~ Fridgesays ~ 27 Comments

Quote from Desmond Tutu.

As I read this quote I couldn’t believe the depth of truth in so few words.

When I began working in a school I had the opportunity to work with a experienced teacher called Violet. She was originally from Ghana and she controlled the class with consistency and a whispered voice. To see her teach was an honour. The loudest and most brutal child from London was putty in her hands. To hear her they had to listen carefully. Plus, as I quickly realised – she was always right. She didn’t need to raise her voice, there was an inner calmness and it was magical to watch.

In our home voices aren’t usually raised (unless I’m singing) we tend to bicker it out, not that I’m sure this is any better? However, in the classroom I only tend to raise my voice to give instructions, particularly when the students are absorbed in the previous activity.

This quote is going to find its way on to my classroom wall. As I work in an all girls school they can be LOUD. Teenagers are often full of opinions and willing to express their distaste should anyone disagree. It makes sense that we are at our most vocal during our teen years, as we find our way through societies behaviour patterns, rebel and with a little magic come out unscathed in our mid twenties.

As I age (like a fine wine) I have become quieter (but in no way quiet) the hot air of my twenties is behind me. I cringe at some of the arguments I’ve had in the past and can see that with age comes a better understanding of ourselves and as Desmond suggested – an improvement in argument.

This week I’m going to consciously listen to arguments and how loud the voice of the weaker disputer is.

I’m realistic, I expect miracles

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote by Wayne Dyer

This quote totally sums me up. My head is in the clouds and my high heels are firmly on the ground.

At the beginning of a new year it’s naturally to look ahead, to book new adventures and reflect on the previous year. It’s an opportunity to readjust and redirect your journey.

I’m not particularly a fan of making drastic changes, I’ve worked too hard to love me as me. As a result a new year doesn’t need to be a new you either. But a new direction, motivation or goal is always a blessing.

As a Teacher I have two New Years; the school year and the calendar year. Back in September I set a goal to see more theatre and I’m excelling, this is something I hope to continue into 2018. I’m always appreciative of any recommendations.

Travel is always a goal for me. I can’t wait to see where my suitcase and passport will take us this year.

If you are setting goals, make sure you are also open to opportunities and experiencing an abundant lifestyle rather than just creating a list of all the things you are going to cut out. After all, magical things can only happen when you are open to receiving them.

As I jump into the pool of January 2018 I am totally realistic about how epic it will be. I also hope that miracles bless your year and look forward to the magic that lies ahead.

Bread and water can easily be toast and tea

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote Anon, but I wouldn’t mind betting the writer was English.

A stereotype that I completely fall in to is my love for a cup of tea and I’m also partial to a slice of toast. Toppings vary but somehow melted organic butter (no manufactured margarine in this house) usually hits the spot. Women in UK hospitals are often given tea and toast after labour and so many of my friends mention it as one of the best meals of their lives.

However, like many of the quotes I resonate with, this is all about perspective. I was listening to the classic Christmas track ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ and couldn’t help thinking, do they care? It would seem to me and many of my friends who have travelled to parts of Africa that they are happier than us without snow and tinsel. Being a glitter fan, I think a row of sparkly lights would enhance Africa but ultimately they are content without much of the nonsense we in the consumerism world feel are necessities. This I feel is something we should all take note of.

Happiness is a choice. Perhaps water and bread is something many of us take for granted and may be even some of us forget the joy of a cuppa and a slice of toast. This winter, I shall be looking for the joy in the simple treasures, they’re always the best. I like a glass of water when it is cold out of the tap, we always have wholemeal bread – therefore a fresh white cottage loaf from our local bakers its heavenly, cut thick with butter (obvs). There can be joy in bread and water too, should you choose to notice.

I’m editing this post on Christmas Eve. Its my favourite day of the festive season. Its like standing on the cusp of excitement. The presents neatly stacked, awaiting Father Christmas’s arrival, friends for Breakfast (seriously how good are homemade Pancakes, crispy bacon and maple syrup), a bucks fizz with friends, a trip to the local with our neighbours…a slow walk home in the dark (our village doesn’t have street lights) and admiring the houses with their Christmas lights shining bright….then a family tradition of a large cheesy pizza and watching Home Alone. Nice.

Before you get caught in the whirl of Christmas, take a pause and absorb the joy. There is always a sparkle to be found, should you choose to see it.

Merry Christmas to all and to all, a Cheese pizza night.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

~ Fridgesays ~ 26 Comments

Quote by Albert Einstein

Seriously, just as you think Albert can’t get any cooler, you find an awesome quote like this.

This seems super appropriate as I’m currently on a coach driving back with fifty year seven pupils (eleven years old) after a theatre trip on the last Friday before the end of term #exhausted #crazy

However, the show we went to see was spectacular and they loved it (I loved it). The theatre never seems to let me down. Plus much like being a Parent when you take children, you get to see the show through their eyes…only in a Teachers case we times it by fifty. It’s a huge honour and one hundred percent a bonus of my career choice.

Teaching Drama is also pretty special, sure there are some down sides – mainly when they try to attempt horrendous American accents that they’ve copied off of the latest box set they’ve seen and most days are full of ‘cringe’ moments, but there are also frequent rays of delight and I can always laugh at something one of my cheeky chicks say. Today on the coach on the way up one of them pointed out (with excitement in her voice) the place her cat was killed and another pair discussed the magic of Christmas…yup they still totally believe.

Watching the show tonight reminded me how lucky we are to have such talent. The actors were sensational and the production incorporated acrobatics. Creativity is incredibly fun but also essential to our mental wellbeing. Whether it’s getting lost in literature, settling into a theatre seat or perhaps drawing, painting or making, I believe our imagination is crucial to our health and perhaps more than five portions of fruit and veg a day.

However, there was a sad side to tonight… many seats in the auditorium were empty. So, this post is going to become a British broadcast, with no political views. *Please use our theatres to protect the arts for our children and future generations. Take your family to performance of dance or acting, music or comedy…give experiences this Christmas and for birthdays to come, rather than more clutter that nobody needs and ends up dusty on a shelf. The theatre makes me breath easier and according to Albert – more intelligent, double win.

Where focus goes energy flows

~ Fridgesays ~ 17 Comments

Quote by Tony Robbins

Every now and then I write because I feel like I can’t breathe if I don’t let my fingers dance across the key board. This blog, my corner of the internet is something I’m so proud of. I’ve tinkered with various platforms over the years, but always in collaboration with others. This space is about being authentic to creating my very own brand, and within the words of its contents often lays my soul. This years blog goal came when I was walking the dog, I knew I was getting comfortable and needed to ‘step up’ my energy, the flowing result was my weekend linky with a wonderful blogging friend Hayley. The next step is even bigger and not yet fully defined, but 2018 will sparkle for whatmyfridgesays.

A few months a go, I set a goal – to love my house. It has never been love at first sight, it was more ‘it will do’, it made me sad and I can’t explain why but since moving in here in 2010 its been a struggle. One of the biggest issues that I had was my utter hatred for my kitchen (first world problems perhaps) I love to cook, every Christmas I would be in a space that made me sad and didn’t reflect the joy I poured into my food. I had a vision that I would never cook a Christmas meal in that space again. With a combination of struggle, a blessed cheque from parents, my own savings and squirrelling like a jar of Nutella, I can finally type that we are sooooo nearly there. The tradesmen have taken their tools and dusty boots and despite the fact that every square inch of our home is dusty and in need of a deep clean, my kitchen is shaping up to be just how I imagined it could sparkle. I’m very grateful to family and friends who have helped up to get to this stage, sometimes it takes a tribe to build a home. On a personal note I can honestly say that I’m beginning to see love reflected within the walls of our house, I guess sometimes like human relationships, love is complex. However, I also know that my energy and focus has been directed to this very goal.

I hold another dream for my son. I want to show him as much of the world as possible, to create memories and experiences – not things. Over the next few months we have planned and saved to provide him with some wonderful moments and I can’t wait to stand next to him and see it through his eyes. You don’t get second chances with children, they are only little for such a small amount of time before they fly the nest. I want the reflections of his nest to be full of love, memories and enriching experiences, not ‘should haves and buts’. I’m a true believer that if you can think it you can make it happen, that excuses are convenient diversions and that as I walk into 2018 I feel very accomplished.

Of course, now I fully understand the power of my energy, my thoughts and my flow, the outcome and goals for 2018 promise to be even sparklier, through the last month of 2017 I plan to write in my gratitude diary (as I always do) but I also plan to make the year ahead even better, even sparklier and full of as much laughter as possible. What are your plans for the year ahead?

Example is Leadership #3 Iris Apfel

~ Fridgesays ~ 26 Comments

Before I begin my swoon on this American delight – you would be correct in thinking I have a soft spot for the elderly. In light of this series, please *click the link to find out whats its all about, I do believe we can learn so much for listening to our elders. Perhaps that make me sounds old fashioned, but its more basic maths…longer life equals more experience to share.

For many you have to dig deep and stay patient but for Iris Apfel a quick look on google images will begin to give you a picture of why she makes me smile.

Her love for colour and her vitality towards life means that this legend born in 1921 can almost be summed up by looking at her. She is truly living, knows what she likes and if you watch an interview or two with her you can see that she has some serious opinions and could’t give a banana skin about what anyone may think of her. Personally, as someone who was never the best at taking criticism as a child, this ‘cake and eat it’ beauty is my kind of lady. She always looks so elegant and therefore its no surprises that she has taken part in several design restoration projects, including work at the White House for nine presidents.

As a role model I love that she doesn’t follow the trends to the tee and usually puts her flare and style on just about anything she touches. I also adore her marriage lasted ‘upon death do us part’ a staggering 67 years, with her husband Carl sadly passing just before he was due to turn 101 years wise. If you see images of the couple they ooze love, sincerity and gratitude for each other. With several of my friends ending marriages before the year was out, I have to fully bow in this couples legacy of love.

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Anon

Despite the fact it’s still November consumerism seems to be taking hold of the nation/globe following Black Friday…the Friday sale that lasts a fortnight. Christmas chatter has taken over many blog posts and is the topic of conversation in our staffroom. Panic sweeps the nation. And I stay firm. I will not get swept into a frenzy on what I’m doing, got to do or who I haven’t bought for (the answer is nobody yet). There is plenty of time. However, I adore Christmas and refuse for it to become a burden. I stand firm in a smile. When asked how I feel about ‘all the catering’ I reply with a smile and say it’s an honour to have family to feed. I am not a saint but I know one thing to be true. Being happy really does drive other people  nuts. “Ohhh I don’t know how you can be so relaxed, I ordered the Turkey in June” hehe…yup and I was busy enjoying the start of summer.

It also means that for the people I dislike, hate and wish would disappear I increase my sparkle, smiles and graces – why? Because it pisses them off and reflects the stress and chaos back at them. I will not absorb negativity from them. It’s my super power and a skill that you should consider as a New Years resolution – forget weight loss, make 2018 the year you choose to be happy.

I choose happy because it makes me happy, it makes others happy and it’s contagious.

Christmas Day will come and go whether I stress or not. The dust will gather again from the moment I flick the duster, the bills will get paid and all those tasks on the ‘to do list’ will eventually be over taken with other tasks and thousands of other ‘to do lists’ but for now I am blissfully happy drinking a hot cup of tea after an intense yoga session, and for now and for always ‘I choose happy’ (and tea) (same thing)

Have you ever picked positivity as a power to piss others off?

Example is leadership #2 Davina McCall

~ Fridgesays ~ 21 Comments

As we move on with my series, please recap by Clicking for an introduction  to understand what this series is and why I’ve chosen to create it.

I feel a little behind when introducing this UK star, as the BBC did a ‘who do you think you are?’ programme on her (the TV series look into the ancestry of famous peeps), however I have always adored her and even more so since listening to her on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4 recently, I actually listened to the podcast version and would totally recommend Davina’s.

Davina McCall was born in 1967 and I have to sit down whilst writing that this means she is half a century, she could give most twenty somethings a run for their money.

 

Davina was the first Big Brother presenter when it first aired in 2001, I was a fan of the first few series but mainly I tuned in to see DM. I also loved her on a show called ‘street mate’ where she would hook couples together on the street. I loved her sense of humour, her presenting skills are in my opinion superior and frankly she has always rocked her locks.

But that isn’t why she has made it into this series, nor is it her traumatic and toxic childhood, or her own battle with narcotics. Don’t get me wrong, these aspects intrigue me (we all like a happy ending) but its her own self doubt and ability to over come it that really makes her sparkle for me. In February 2014, Davina undertook a challenge called ‘Davina – Beyond Breaking Point’,  she also recorded a documentary during seven days of either running, swimming or cycling across the UK to raise money for the UK charity Sports relief. In my initial post I mentioned my distaste for humans, but for me Mrs M seems to epically rock ‘fragile vulnerability’ that consumes so many people. She has complete self doubt, prepares and does it anyway….as an onlooker, it would appear to me that she seems to thrives off of anxiety and I think she often surprises herself with her capabilities, and I like that level of sincerity. I’m not a DVD fitness fan – but I’d buy hers just to watch her smile and seriously, her abdominals are awesome. Not bad for a woman who has battled many dark corners of life.

Her ability to test her body, be a Mum and also have a clear sense of who she is makes her a national treasure. She is relatable and I imagine living with her is much like the Green day track: walking contradiction, she is both weak and strong, sensitive and blunt, fierce and fragile, focused and usually turns up late. Some how though, she gets the balance just right and it works.