If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by Marcus Tullius Cicero.

Firstly, Marcus (who wrote this quote) clearly had straight hair or he would have included GHDs.

I do have a large garden (it’s 160ft) and my book shelf is bursting rather nicely. I’m not sure I have everything but I know I’m up there with the blessed.

The garden is my workout, my canvas and my saviour at times, it can also be the biggest chore and hugely time consuming plus a money chomping machine.. At the moment the grass is freshly cut and the pots are looking charming so all is well in my garden. Its even a glorious sunny day, so Im under the gazebo writing – sounds idyllic and I guess it is.

The bookshelf is abundant with a cross over of novels and literature that spans the centuries, genres and tastes. Since taking on the challenge to read the top one hundred novels of all time it’s really expanding my reading range and opened my mind. Unlike a library I have this ridiculous need to own the books I’ve read – even crazier I like to purchase second hand books that have been preloved, so why I can’t share them after Ive owned them is completely ludicrous.

As child I loved to be read to, during my teens I appropriately hated to read and followed the rebellious crowd to hate the books we studied like Of Mice and Men and Over the Bridge in school, now working with teens on these books I can see the depth and enjoyment that earlier in my life had escaped me. That is something that my garden and a good book can do, the varied meaning they have can alter depending on what point in life you are at. My garden is place I invest time in and attempt to ‘keep on top of the weeds’ whilst to my three year old son its a giant playground of mud hills and places to find bugs.

Opening and closing the mind is the essence of what I’ve taken from this quote. Whilst books open my imagination and possibilities become endless they also allow me time away to escape and even allow my mind moments of still. Our garden allows peace, nature and solitude, whilst at other times is hosting friends and loved ones in vibrant gatherings of laughter and BBQ food. These two aspects of my life bring great joy and keep me grounded whether through simple beauty or escapism from what is often a demanding and frightening world.

To the British garden I raise my glass, lay back on the sun lounger and turn the pages of a new book but seriously straighteners are third on the list of having everything, right?

Don’t just be good to others

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Another epic quote from the dazzling and dynamic ‘Anon’

Firstly, lets break this quote down in to two segments and then devour it like its ice cream from a parlour with a cherry on the top…

Be good to others

It sounds so obvious and I can’t remember a time in my life where teachers at school weren’t ramming this concept down my throat? More annoyingly it feels sooo good to be good to others, it reminds me of the episode of Friends (1998) ‘The one where Phoebe hates PBS’ and tries to find a lack of joy in helping people.

Being good to others has to be good for those Karma points; hard core readers of my blog will know this is a game I play with myself where I do good for others – for example letting other drivers pull out before me, simply so I can collect the Karma points that I secretly believe (Yes i’m aware I’m in my thirties) will one day be traded in for greatness and to live the dream, or that I can cash in a few on rainy day when lady luck forgets to shine.

Most religions mention helping others, or more importantly the less fortunate. I recently attended a Gurdwara/ Sikh temple in Southhampton on a school trip and was blown away  with their generosity to feed others – the ‘Langar’ means that Sikhs across the globe are passionate about feeding those in need and not just a few but thousands every day. Luckily for us, their generosity extends to school trips and the opulence shown to us encourages a wonderful infusion of community cohesion and my love for Asian food 🙂

 

Being good to you 

My Dad is an old school fussy eater and I remember every Sunday my Mum would tie herself to the cooker and hours later produce a Sunday roast to die for…my Dad would push his around his plate and never seemed that grateful but every week Mum would give my Dad the best bits of meat and I never understood why? It seems to be a very British / Parent thing to put yourself at the back of the ‘be good to yourself’ line.

Reflecting further more I can’t help but feel to be the best I can for my son, at times I may need to go to the top of the hierarchy – after all what use is an exhausted mother to anyone? And besides the the first rule of life saving is your health first. Balance is prevalent on this blog and I think at times in friendship and family life we need to learn to put ourselves first, to be the best we can for ourselves and those we love…not all the time but on occasion.

As a result this weeks challenge is to put yourself first. Make time to go to the gym, to have a relaxing bath without a rubber duck or toddler for company, to walk the dog in solace or to pick up a book and that well deserved glass of wine, whatever your putting off because you are ‘so busy’ whatever floats your boat of desire…do it. You will feel lifted and I promise you as a result you will be a better human to be around for those you love.

I recently ‘treated’ myself to a bunch of sunflowers and got extremely guilty – I questioned why and then after a mental breakdown in the flower isle I realised I was worried about spending money on me, on a whim and something I didn’t ‘need’. You’ll be pleased to know I quickly defeated the demons and popped the bouquet in my trolley – because being good to me made me smile, feel good about myself and thats worth a million bouquets.

In balance of the week challenge I set above in bold, paying it forward is another ‘feel good’ thing to do. So why not also complete a random act of kindness it could be as simple as letting someone go ahead of you at the supermarket checkout or making cards of thanks for people around you for no particular reason. There is a legend of a (very cute) man called Joshua Coombes who I follow on instagram – he is a hairdresser and cuts the homeless people of Londons hair, the photographs speaks for itself as you see the transformation in his clients eyes. I believe its these sorts of people we should be giving ‘celebrity’ status to.

So this week give the challenges a go and remember that ‘only goodness can come out of good intentions’ its a double positive after all.


 

 

 

Happiness is homemade #1

~ Fridgesays ~ 15 Comments

Quote by the cracker of quotes – Anon.

Last summer I ran a series on sensory play with my little man which included all the awesome crafty things I was desperate to do, but being a full time working Mumma means I struggled to fit in. However, Mother nature is cruel and I have a three year old who is allergic to colouring, glueing or anything vaguely creative – he is currently more of a Dinosaur roaring fellow than a sit down and create guy. So for now my crayon desires are on hold…

This series is called Happiness is homemade because I truly believe it, what is summer for if not creating memories? It was influenced by a colleague of mine called Ruth. She does a similar thing with her tribe every year and when I first saw it, I knew it was something we would enjoy.

On the first Monday of the summer hols me and my little dude sat down and filled in our dream clouds. I simply asked him what he would like to do. I love to say they were all his ideas, but that would be a huge fib. They include pre planned things we will be doing from going on his first Aeroplane trip to play dates with friends, but I underestimated how opinionated he was on what he would like to do.

We stuck them up with good old blue-tac in our porch, you could place them on a larger piece of paper or I even thought about sticking them on Js bedroom window. Once we have completed each of our clouds we put a sticker on it, I was attempting to stay on theme with sun  / weather themed stickers alas J had the final say and we are now the proud owner of 700 Star Wars stickers.

(see above image) I underestimated how enjoyable J finds the simple things in life – riding his bike and picnics are realitvely low cost but mean the world to him. If your rascal is older they could obviously fill the bubbles in themselves. However, I also forgot that his imagination is huge and so you can see below I’ve now got to rustle up a crocodile? Thanks to a google from Daddy it would seem there is a crocodile zoo in Oxfordshire? Phew.

So whilst we create memories and fill our days with adventures from our clouds – why don’t you give it a go and create your own activity board. You don’t need a little monster to do it with, they could be aspirational goals for the year ahead, the summer vacation or perhaps larger life goals. Another friend who recently retired did a similar thing with what she wanted to do in retirement.

How will you be fulfilling your summer days?

 

You are suppose to make mistakes 

~ Fridgesays ~ 26 Comments

img_4081Quote by Anon.

Today I’m going to let you in to a secret, don’t tell anyone okay…

Mistakes are magic. There I said it (well wrote it?) and its true. When my son doesn’t understand something, or is watching Disney and asks a question I can’t answer, I tell him its magic. How the tooth fairy operates – magic, how Father Christmas travels the world in one night visiting every child..you guessed it ‘Magic’ , how the dishwasher makes our plates sparkle, once again ‘Magic’. No three year old needs to be aware of kitchen appliances unless it associates with some kind of abracadabra factor. Any kind of unknown that falls in to the magic category is usually positive and far more exciting than reality.

the definition of ‘magic’ is;

noun

 1.
  1. the power of apparently influencing events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
    “suddenly, as if by magic, the doors start to open”

On the other hand mistakes are often negative, regretful and ugly. The events trickle into various pools of life that you often want to protect and so over time the human brain builds thick walls to seal them in and protect them from the light of day…sadly the equally powerful ‘time’ creates cracks in the walls and mistakes flow from directions we didn’t even know existed.

Where is my brain going with this? Well, if mistakes are negative and allow us to draw conclusions that we usually later learn from then the opposite is positive and full of wonder and possibility – magic.

Im not sure I’ve got all of this ‘life’ business down to a tee, but I do know that I want a life full of magic and excitement, it is no coincidence that the Paul Daniels Magic trick set was popular in the 1980’s and in fact on every child’s Christmas list in 1987 ( I didn’t get it but my cousin Laura did and it was epic, if by epic you like a lump of rope and several coloured squidgy balls), he was and still is a national treasure, his saturday night entertainment was family orientated and spectacular, plus Debbie was gorgeous and when you found out they were married in ‘real life’ every thing on screen became a little more amazing.

Whilst we aspire to a life full of dazzle and wonder perhaps there may be tricks a long the way to distract us…this is just a mistake that once learnt from allows us to improve, succeed and create ‘magic’. Mistakes really aren’t negatives unless we give them the power and control. Mistakes are life’s dead ends, sometimes they are minor and you hit a curb at other times they leave you with a dent and a large bill from your insurance company…but who wants to exit this world without and a bump and graze to show for your hard effort, more importantly some times getting lost leads to a new road of opportunity, that were better than the way you thought you wanted to go. So give the power in your life to finding magic and if a crocodile pops out of your hat instead of a rabbit…well, think of the money you’ll save on hay.

img_4151

 

 

It’s all messy #life

~ Fridgesays ~ 20 Comments

Quote by William Leal

When I set out to write a motivational blog I knew I’d capture a little of me a long the way. I think it’s important to remind you that my life isn’t perfect, but I have/will always choose to look at my glass of life half full.

However, sometimes things get messy and the roller coaster of life takes a bigger dip than anticipated or stops all together. It’s these days more than most that looking at life with a positive viewpoint is harder but beneficial in the short and long term. These words are as much for me as they are for you – during the messy times in life, its hard to smile and to see a glimmer of light, but I promise you its a choice we all have the power to make.

Sometimes being a parent means I lose a sense of me; I serve my career, I serve my family and then I crawl into bed and when I wake my hair is messy and this is how my day begins. Sometimes I’m trying to create the ultimate Elsa French plait and it ends up looking like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, at that moment in the mirror my world crumbles but in the grand scheme of things…life goes on.

As I get the household ready and scoop them out of the door little jobs get lost a long the way, the dishwasher isn’t turned on or the bed hasn’t been made and usually I forget a coat or cardigan for myself but you’d be surprised at how many lovely people will lend you shelter in a storm.

When people talk, often what they want to say doesn’t flow or they can’t find the right words to express how they feel. Words are complex and without intention we can make hurtful comments, or perhaps just misjudge a situation and although words can be painful…in time the words can be found and relationships can be rebuilt.

The metaphorical heart feels amazing when its found a new love, it expands and flows with ease and life can feel effortless until it suffers rejection, insults and for some deception and heart break. But it can rebuild, given time it can find new things to enjoy and although it may put up some walls of protection it can flourish and see brighter days.

Our actual hearts are complex organs that works to keep our blood flowing and in turn every other organ that we need to live in full operation, it can’t make a fault, take a break or have a bad hair day. We need it. Its superior to modern machinery and it helps us create our life’s cycle, and according to something called ‘Heart Math’ a whole lot more besides.

Perhaps this week ‘life’ will get a little messy, behind the next corner you may find bad hair days and hurtful words or even be let down in ways that you never thought possible by someone you held dear. At the time it may not be OK (and thats OK too) but remind yourself that life is precious and whilst your heart keeps ticking there is always time to repair.

You may need some tools to guide you, Heart Math is taking the world by storm, I googled ‘what is Heart Math’ and got this:

Answer: HeartMath is a unique system of rigorous scientific research, validated techniques, leading-edge products and programs and advanced technologies for people interested in personal development and improved emotional, mental and physical health.

In essence its six long breaths to ‘reset’ your heart thus reducing stress and increasing resilience. Research shows it increases life expectancy and also the positive emotional wellbeing experienced. Its worth a little internet research and passing the technique on to those you love, after all life will always be a little messy.

* written on a Sunday evening with messy, greasy locks that have overdue roots and probably too many split ends…and thats OK too. No PR collaboration – written from the heart.

My goal is to design a life I don’t need a vacation from.

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Quote by Rob Hill (sorry for the reflection of my PJ top in the photo)

Our last holiday was in 2011, it was pre little people and had the added sparkle of an engagement ring.

Since then life has taken over and although we have had breaks and fun a long the way, my case has been discarded in the loft whilst grown up priorities have kidnapped my bank account. This year will be different and I can’t wait.

However, my life aside – imagine a life where you don’t need a vacation because frankly life is already so diverse, incorporates travel and new cultures, where you enjoy your job and don’t feel the need to stop because maybe you already have the balance of calm and relaxation and new and exciting experiences.

This is living.

I feel so very sorry for anyone who hates every working day and lives for that one day off or a week away at some point, that is exhausting. That is surviving and the world is full of so many opportunities, choices and options that to be in a world as I’ve just described surely leads to ill health a life that is unfulfilled and even an early death.

I’d love to say when I’m doing house work Disney bluebirds sit on my shoulder, that I’ve never spent hours in AnE with a sickly child or that dark times haven’t knocked on my door (damn me for being polite, popping the kettle on and inviting the dark times inside my home) of course life isn’t always joyful, if it was we’d take it for granted and wouldn’t appreciate the wonderful moments however small and precious. Many highly successful individuals only reached their dreams due to lack and the desire to improve their current situation rather than wallowing in it – not to mention huge amounts of work and dedication plus working beyond other peoples expectations and perhaps further than they felt they could at the time…but there is a crucial word in this quote.

‘Goal’ something to aim for, something to aspire towards and perhaps never fully achieved BUT a focus for attention and a direction that I am striving for. Sometimes the journey is the joy, the excitement and the thrill to get to a life where a vacation isn’t necessary may seem far fetch, not currently there yet, I can’t tell you the answer but think I’m a step closer by balancing life’s darker days and opening the curtains; shining the light on the things that I do have, showing gratitude for the experiences, tastes and sights my world has experienced

Perhaps it’s time to review your goals in life, what you’d like or where you want to go…or may be like me you’ve found it in this quote.

Lovely things #11

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

In essence I use lovely things to note down what I enjoyed the previous month. Reading back over the previous ten I’m always surprised at how simple the things I’ve enjoyed are juxtaposed with how blooming hard life feels all to frequently. 

June was kind to the soul and tough on the wellies. But before I discuss the weather, true gratitude was the essence of the month.

1. Puppy love

My ‘in laws’ got a new Labrador puppy and we were blessed to have her for an afternoon / early evening as they were out. The family are using the crate method and so she is usually at home in her crate…not at our house. She cried and wailed like we were putting pins into her, as I went to pick her up (I’m weak when it comes to fur balls), there was my son as close to the cage as possible ‘reading’ to her . My mummy heart wept. Perhaps we aren’t flying through potty training, swimming like a dolphin in our local pool every weekend and just may be getting him to peddle a bike is pushing my patience to the extreme; but that little lad is kind and you can teach ‘soul’

2. Gratitude:

As a teacher months can go by without a thank you or a whisper of gratitude. However, despite the teenager shyness when it comes to showing appreciation, June provided me with several bouquets , cards and even a box of choccies. It was a huge learning curve for me to except them humbly rather than awkward or like a compliment I didn’t deserve. A huge thank you to June for reminding me to accept, smile  and enjoy a compliment rather than push it to the side with a “oh this old dress”

3. Rain

I told you I’d have to make some kind of remark. The rain flowed, thundered and at times felt it might drown my soul, so why mention it on lovely things? Because after so much of the wet stuff I embraced it, I shopped online for a rain coat, walked the dog in it laughing, I jumped in a puddle and sure I moaned from time to time, but if anything British summer time and any square inch of blue sky is richer for    the abundance of water we have experienced in the last four weeks.

Splashing and splodging through June has made me realise it was a little bleak but also held so much love and even fun. We even took my son to the cinema for the first time and he loved ‘the big tele’, my Dad had an operation on his eye and things are ‘looking’ positive. So what if it rained a little, it did the grass good 🙂

Confidence is silent 

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

Quote Unknown

Its no coincidence that I blog using quotes as my inspiration, I’m like the mother of Gus in ‘Fault in our stars’ and could easily have quotes all over my home, from cushions to walls, tiny plaques hanging from every door handle and post-its hidden in my sons lunch. Luckily I live with Mr F who is awesome at curving such ideas when they get out of hand. We have a limit on items I find joyful like candles, pebbles or in this case quotes.

I really do enjoy analysing them, researching the author and delving into the potential meanings to move my own journey in life forwards, I hope that in some small way as readers you also connect with the content and amazing doors of opportunity open for you.

This quote isn’t like the others.

Its unique.

I wrote my full post on this quote a week a go, gave it to Mr F to spell check and generally look over when he said some words that he has never said before…”you can’t put that out, it doesn’t work – start again”, I’d like to say at this point I defended my work and told him where to go, but I didn’t – I wasn’t even upset. I knew he was right.

*disclosure: Mr F cannot use the written word above against me, particularly in arguments around ‘Im always right babe’

Why do I think its unique? because as I read it I realise that this quote doesn’t require analysis, its all there for us to absorb, it is my reality everyday; people who approach me with ego and arrogance who project their insecurities at me in a feeble attempt to cover up their self conscious beliefs verses those that magnetise me, not because they are going out of their way to capture my attention, far from it – I’m captured by the magnetic force of sincerity, when praising them they respond with heartfelt gratitude and as a person they have depth, morals and all that complex stuff in between – sure they may have weaknesses, but they are grounded and don’t feel the need to project them at me.

So how do you alter what you are projecting if you are off balance?

  • Avoid conversations with people about weight loss and appearance, it is rarely helpful and often leads you in to a negative cycle of conversation.
  • Practise self love and self worth – you can do this by grabbing a note book and listing/ focusing on the things you like, the talents you have and the assets you can offer the world
  • Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people

And if all of that isn’t enough then new research suggests that placing your hands on your hips (in a super hero way, not a tea pot) for a few minutes increases you inner energy and other people see this in you – without you having to publicise it. If this feels a little seventies Superman (no such thing!-Mr F.) for you then I’ve even known friends who have done this in a toilet cubicle before an interview (and got the job 🙂 There is even a TedTalk about it by Amy Cuddy.

Stay blessed this week and focus on the assets your body has and the friends who leave you beaming.

What’s coming will come and we will meet it when it does 

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments


Quote from Hagrid If only it wasn’t raining today or if we had more time…if this hadn’t happened or what if they don’t like me or people think I’m fat… Are all responses that many of us unconsciously  allow to flow from our mouths and into our reality.

Note the words in bold above. Highlighted in seems obvious that these perceptions would hold us back and stop us from reaching out true capacity, the words in bold like translucent chains prevent us from pursuing actions and even within everyday tasks hold us back. Yet most of us use them everyday and don’t even notice the shackles we’ve place upon ourselves. 

So how do we release them? I don’t think we need to. Like following our instinct at times we all need to say no, not participate or perhaps it can be critical a analyse after an event that helps to evaluate and improve future events. 

What I do think is helpful is to be mindful with the words we use, why we chose them and how they make us feel. To be present in what we say and think in the ‘now’

There is much research into the art of gossiping that tells us: 

  •  it’s an awesome stress reliever 
  • it helps us to understand what is and isn’t except able in society
  • it allows us to form bonds with others and isn’t alway negative 

Like everything this universe provides and denies, balance is necessary…if all you do is gossip and every time you meet that person all he/she wants to do is gossip you may need to divert the conversation to a new level, or even remove them from your world all together.

Hagrid makes a hugely valid point that for all our worries before an event – when it comes, we will deal with it as best we can. We have support from loved ones and even in our loneliest of times humans in crisis show huge resilience and incredible levels of ‘coping’ when forced to.

So enjoy the now and when it comes we will adapt, do what’s necessary, be supported by loved one and you knew what? It may just work out better than we hoped for.

If they give you ruled paper

~ Fridgesays ~ 21 Comments

Quote by Juan Ramon Jimenez 

Despite in my heart being a traditionalist, my reality has always been a little ‘backwards’, the baby came before the engagement, baby two before the wedding / well baby two was expensive so stopped any wedding…the house came in the middle somewhere and if this keeps up then I’m half expecting J to finish University before he tries preschool…

Guidelines are great, helpful and at times a necessity. However, this quote is literally about turning things an at angle that suits you, and sometimes ‘your way’ can be that little bit better, like the person who cashed in the mortgage and the steady job to travel and returns a better person. Somebody that has lived.

To every step family out there mixing up the bowl of life to make it work – this quote salutes you. 

To every retired couple out there not taking life’s sofa pathway and instead traveling – this quote gives you a high five.

To every toddler out there who is making their health visitor nervous because they are growing at their own rate and straying away from the pre decided charts – we laugh (unless you are the health visitor in which case we apologise) 

To every human…do it whichever way causes you the greatest joy and the least amount of pain, life is for living and sometimes its a little more enjoyable to write through the guidelines of life than to work with them.

This week turn that paper side ways and use crayons, great big chunky crayons or perhaps bust open the limited edition glitter set and make this week sparkle.