Bread and water can easily be toast and tea

Quote Anon, but I wouldn’t mind betting the writer was English.

A stereotype that I completely fall in to is my love for a cup of tea and I’m also partial to a slice of toast. Toppings vary but somehow melted organic butter (no manufactured margarine in this house) usually hits the spot. Women in UK hospitals are often given tea and toast after labour and so many of my friends mention it as one of the best meals of their lives.

However, like many of the quotes I resonate with, this is all about perspective. I was listening to the classic Christmas track ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ and couldn’t help thinking, do they care? It would seem to me and many of my friends who have travelled to parts of Africa that they are happier than us without snow and tinsel. Being a glitter fan, I think a row of sparkly lights would enhance Africa but ultimately they are content without much of the nonsense we in the consumerism world feel are necessities. This I feel is something we should all take note of.

Happiness is a choice. Perhaps water and bread is something many of us take for granted and may be even some of us forget the joy of a cuppa and a slice of toast. This winter, I shall be looking for the joy in the simple treasures, they’re always the best. I like a glass of water when it is cold out of the tap, we always have wholemeal bread – therefore a fresh white cottage loaf from our local bakers its heavenly, cut thick with butter (obvs). There can be joy in bread and water too, should you choose to notice.

I’m editing this post on Christmas Eve. Its my favourite day of the festive season. Its like standing on the cusp of excitement. The presents neatly stacked, awaiting Father Christmas’s arrival, friends for Breakfast (seriously how good are homemade Pancakes, crispy bacon and maple syrup), a bucks fizz with friends, a trip to the local with our neighbours…a slow walk home in the dark (our village doesn’t have street lights) and admiring the houses with their Christmas lights shining bright….then a family tradition of a large cheesy pizza and watching Home Alone. Nice.

Before you get caught in the whirl of Christmas, take a pause and absorb the joy. There is always a sparkle to be found, should you choose to see it.

Merry Christmas to all and to all, a Cheese pizza night.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Quote by Albert Einstein

Seriously, just as you think Albert can’t get any cooler, you find an awesome quote like this.

This seems super appropriate as I’m currently on a coach driving back with fifty year seven pupils (eleven years old) after a theatre trip on the last Friday before the end of term #exhausted #crazy

However, the show we went to see was spectacular and they loved it (I loved it). The theatre never seems to let me down. Plus much like being a Parent when you take children, you get to see the show through their eyes…only in a Teachers case we times it by fifty. It’s a huge honour and one hundred percent a bonus of my career choice.

Teaching Drama is also pretty special, sure there are some down sides – mainly when they try to attempt horrendous American accents that they’ve copied off of the latest box set they’ve seen and most days are full of ‘cringe’ moments, but there are also frequent rays of delight and I can always laugh at something one of my cheeky chicks say. Today on the coach on the way up one of them pointed out (with excitement in her voice) the place her cat was killed and another pair discussed the magic of Christmas…yup they still totally believe.

Watching the show tonight reminded me how lucky we are to have such talent. The actors were sensational and the production incorporated acrobatics. Creativity is incredibly fun but also essential to our mental wellbeing. Whether it’s getting lost in literature, settling into a theatre seat or perhaps drawing, painting or making, I believe our imagination is crucial to our health and perhaps more than five portions of fruit and veg a day.

However, there was a sad side to tonight… many seats in the auditorium were empty. So, this post is going to become a British broadcast, with no political views. *Please use our theatres to protect the arts for our children and future generations. Take your family to performance of dance or acting, music or comedy…give experiences this Christmas and for birthdays to come, rather than more clutter that nobody needs and ends up dusty on a shelf. The theatre makes me breath easier and according to Albert – more intelligent, double win.

Where focus goes energy flows

Quote by Tony Robbins

Every now and then I write because I feel like I can’t breathe if I don’t let my fingers dance across the key board. This blog, my corner of the internet is something I’m so proud of. I’ve tinkered with various platforms over the years, but always in collaboration with others. This space is about being authentic to creating my very own brand, and within the words of its contents often lays my soul. This years blog goal came when I was walking the dog, I knew I was getting comfortable and needed to ‘step up’ my energy, the flowing result was my weekend linky with a wonderful blogging friend Hayley. The next step is even bigger and not yet fully defined, but 2018 will sparkle for whatmyfridgesays.

A few months a go, I set a goal – to love my house. It has never been love at first sight, it was more ‘it will do’, it made me sad and I can’t explain why but since moving in here in 2010 its been a struggle. One of the biggest issues that I had was my utter hatred for my kitchen (first world problems perhaps) I love to cook, every Christmas I would be in a space that made me sad and didn’t reflect the joy I poured into my food. I had a vision that I would never cook a Christmas meal in that space again. With a combination of struggle, a blessed cheque from parents, my own savings and squirrelling like a jar of Nutella, I can finally type that we are sooooo nearly there. The tradesmen have taken their tools and dusty boots and despite the fact that every square inch of our home is dusty and in need of a deep clean, my kitchen is shaping up to be just how I imagined it could sparkle. I’m very grateful to family and friends who have helped up to get to this stage, sometimes it takes a tribe to build a home. On a personal note I can honestly say that I’m beginning to see love reflected within the walls of our house, I guess sometimes like human relationships, love is complex. However, I also know that my energy and focus has been directed to this very goal.

I hold another dream for my son. I want to show him as much of the world as possible, to create memories and experiences – not things. Over the next few months we have planned and saved to provide him with some wonderful moments and I can’t wait to stand next to him and see it through his eyes. You don’t get second chances with children, they are only little for such a small amount of time before they fly the nest. I want the reflections of his nest to be full of love, memories and enriching experiences, not ‘should haves and buts’. I’m a true believer that if you can think it you can make it happen, that excuses are convenient diversions and that as I walk into 2018 I feel very accomplished.

Of course, now I fully understand the power of my energy, my thoughts and my flow, the outcome and goals for 2018 promise to be even sparklier, through the last month of 2017 I plan to write in my gratitude diary (as I always do) but I also plan to make the year ahead even better, even sparklier and full of as much laughter as possible. What are your plans for the year ahead?

Example is Leadership #3 Iris Apfel

Before I begin my swoon on this American delight – you would be correct in thinking I have a soft spot for the elderly. In light of this series, please *click the link to find out whats its all about, I do believe we can learn so much for listening to our elders. Perhaps that make me sounds old fashioned, but its more basic maths…longer life equals more experience to share.

For many you have to dig deep and stay patient but for Iris Apfel a quick look on google images will begin to give you a picture of why she makes me smile.

Her love for colour and her vitality towards life means that this legend born in 1921 can almost be summed up by looking at her. She is truly living, knows what she likes and if you watch an interview or two with her you can see that she has some serious opinions and could’t give a banana skin about what anyone may think of her. Personally, as someone who was never the best at taking criticism as a child, this ‘cake and eat it’ beauty is my kind of lady. She always looks so elegant and therefore its no surprises that she has taken part in several design restoration projects, including work at the White House for nine presidents.

As a role model I love that she doesn’t follow the trends to the tee and usually puts her flare and style on just about anything she touches. I also adore her marriage lasted ‘upon death do us part’ a staggering 67 years, with her husband Carl sadly passing just before he was due to turn 101 years wise. If you see images of the couple they ooze love, sincerity and gratitude for each other. With several of my friends ending marriages before the year was out, I have to fully bow in this couples legacy of love.

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

Anon

Despite the fact it’s still November consumerism seems to be taking hold of the nation/globe following Black Friday…the Friday sale that lasts a fortnight. Christmas chatter has taken over many blog posts and is the topic of conversation in our staffroom. Panic sweeps the nation. And I stay firm. I will not get swept into a frenzy on what I’m doing, got to do or who I haven’t bought for (the answer is nobody yet). There is plenty of time. However, I adore Christmas and refuse for it to become a burden. I stand firm in a smile. When asked how I feel about ‘all the catering’ I reply with a smile and say it’s an honour to have family to feed. I am not a saint but I know one thing to be true. Being happy really does drive other people  nuts. “Ohhh I don’t know how you can be so relaxed, I ordered the Turkey in June” hehe…yup and I was busy enjoying the start of summer.

It also means that for the people I dislike, hate and wish would disappear I increase my sparkle, smiles and graces – why? Because it pisses them off and reflects the stress and chaos back at them. I will not absorb negativity from them. It’s my super power and a skill that you should consider as a New Years resolution – forget weight loss, make 2018 the year you choose to be happy.

I choose happy because it makes me happy, it makes others happy and it’s contagious.

Christmas Day will come and go whether I stress or not. The dust will gather again from the moment I flick the duster, the bills will get paid and all those tasks on the ‘to do list’ will eventually be over taken with other tasks and thousands of other ‘to do lists’ but for now I am blissfully happy drinking a hot cup of tea after an intense yoga session, and for now and for always ‘I choose happy’ (and tea) (same thing)

Have you ever picked positivity as a power to piss others off?

Example is leadership #2 Davina McCall

As we move on with my series, please recap by Clicking for an introduction  to understand what this series is and why I’ve chosen to create it.

I feel a little behind when introducing this UK star, as the BBC did a ‘who do you think you are?’ programme on her (the TV series look into the ancestry of famous peeps), however I have always adored her and even more so since listening to her on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4 recently, I actually listened to the podcast version and would totally recommend Davina’s.

Davina McCall was born in 1967 and I have to sit down whilst writing that this means she is half a century, she could give most twenty somethings a run for their money.

 

Davina was the first Big Brother presenter when it first aired in 2001, I was a fan of the first few series but mainly I tuned in to see DM. I also loved her on a show called ‘street mate’ where she would hook couples together on the street. I loved her sense of humour, her presenting skills are in my opinion superior and frankly she has always rocked her locks.

But that isn’t why she has made it into this series, nor is it her traumatic and toxic childhood, or her own battle with narcotics. Don’t get me wrong, these aspects intrigue me (we all like a happy ending) but its her own self doubt and ability to over come it that really makes her sparkle for me. In February 2014, Davina undertook a challenge called ‘Davina – Beyond Breaking Point’,  she also recorded a documentary during seven days of either running, swimming or cycling across the UK to raise money for the UK charity Sports relief. In my initial post I mentioned my distaste for humans, but for me Mrs M seems to epically rock ‘fragile vulnerability’ that consumes so many people. She has complete self doubt, prepares and does it anyway….as an onlooker, it would appear to me that she seems to thrives off of anxiety and I think she often surprises herself with her capabilities, and I like that level of sincerity. I’m not a DVD fitness fan – but I’d buy hers just to watch her smile and seriously, her abdominals are awesome. Not bad for a woman who has battled many dark corners of life.

Her ability to test her body, be a Mum and also have a clear sense of who she is makes her a national treasure. She is relatable and I imagine living with her is much like the Green day track: walking contradiction, she is both weak and strong, sensitive and blunt, fierce and fragile, focused and usually turns up late. Some how though, she gets the balance just right and it works. 

Never be a prisoner of your past, it was just a lesson not a life sentence

I’m not sure who this quote is by, but it seems to have a Hindu / Urdu meaning and this just makes it even cooler for me. 

We blame ourselves for past behaviours, but actually no matter how poorly we behaved, we did it in the moment with little thought of the repercussions. Many of the things we do as humans are often unkind (seriously take a look at the rate we are destroying planet earth) and yet we are also unaware of the how our behaviour both positive and negative can have on others. I once saw a girl in my school and asked if she was ok. I wasn’t particularly worried about her, but she didn’t look herself, it was a thirty second conversation. Several days later I found out through her form tutor that she had opened up about our brief conversation, until I had noticed she had felt totally unloved and disregarded…this time my words healed. I had no idea. 

I also can remember a time I allowed a man in my life to make me feel small, insignificant and he totally discounted my feelings and my heart. Luckily I later realised he wasn’t worthy of my time, love or energy. Sadly, he was probably reflecting his own faults on me and I allowed this. He had no idea. 

What’s my point? It’s that we totally underestimate the power of words, actions and our daily vibrations that we put out to the world, not just negative but also positive. We harber events in our lives and hold on to them for too long. Turning our minds in to lost property boxes full of ‘could have, should have’ regrets and empty promises. 

Life really is a journey and one that we are so blessed to take. Some of us experience horrendous things that others couldn’t imagine…but that doesn’t make us hideous, it was just events of that moment in time, lessons not life sentences.So how do we stop this cycle of hurt? unlike a prison sentence we learn from them.

  •  I will never let a man or woman make me feel anything other than fabulous. 
  • I will never underestimate the power of asking someone if they are ok 
  • I will always take the time to listen to their responses – this is living and inturn enhances our positive vibration. 

Each day as I work towards being kinder to my family and friends I also need to be kinder to me. Perhaps I didn’t react the way I’d liked in any given situation the day before, may be I wasn’t the best me I could be. This isn’t a life sentence. This is me and all I am required to do is live better each day and not repeat the same mistakes once I’ve recognised them, which sounds easier than actioned, So be kind to you today and let the past go, it might just be your ‘get out of jail free card’ to a better quality of life.  

Example is Leadership #1 The old man at the bus stop

A new series with an Introduction to click and read which will hopefully clarify why I am writing about my role models.

I probably should begin with a superstar or a more relatable character, I should also probably have picked someone in my own life who’s name I can recall…alas I have always been a limited edition crayon in the box and have decided to pick The man at the bus stop.

It was around 1998-1999 and I was studying for my A levels, I usually caught a lift with a friend of mine who was on similar courses to me, however as luck would have it there were a couple of occasions when our timetables didn’t synchronise and I would have to get the bus alone. The late nineties were also a time when the walkman was dead, the iPod not yet invented and the mobile phone was a brick…so I usually had on me my CD player for company (for some reason electric devices make us humans feel less alone?), now the CD player for your ‘on the go’ listening needs was, well also crap and you had to hold the player flat so the CD could spin around without skipping. At the bus stop was an old man and he made a joke about my CD player and the fact that it was frustrating me. Raised well, I promptly placed the crap device in my ‘record bag’ (oh the irony) and chatted to him. He explained that he was getting the same bus as me, as on a Thursday he always went to the local day centre. He gets fed for a fiver and basically loves attention from all the ladies. He lived in the elderly peoples home opposite the bus stop and over the coming weeks I would look forward to our chats. At the time I did know his name and he would greet me with “Good morning, I love Lucy” a reference to a black and white American sitcom that I vaguely knew of. We would jump on the bus together and he would chat about what he had been up to and which ‘young’ lady he was hoping to sit next to that day at the day centre. It was during these chats that he would often apologise that he wouldn’t be at the bus stop because of one commitment or another, often it was due to travel – he loved cruises and would come back a week or so later with a tan to die for and tell me about all the ladies he had danced with, the cuisine he had tasted (always better than the food in the retirement home) and the places he had seen. He was a gentleman and a dapper dresser, he was in his late eighties and he taught me a valuable lesson, to never stop living or dancing. In contrast he would also tell me about all the ‘dead’ people that he had left behind in his care home, I wouldn’t always know how to react and he would make me laugh by saying something like ‘don’t worry they will still be asleep in the same chair when I get home”. I promised him that I would keep dancing and its a promise that I will keep until I’m as young as him.

He was also the first man to give me a regret, one that I have been able to let go of as I know he wouldn’t of minded.

The Birthday Bash

He invited me to his 90th birthday party and I didn’t go. I didn’t go because I was seventeen and too cool for my own good, I didn’t go because I thought my friends would think I was weird….I wish I had gone.

A few weeks after his ninetieth birthday he wasn’t at the bus stop. Nor the next week, I knew he wasn’t on a cruise as he would of told me and so I remember vividly speaking to my Mum about it. She advised that I pop into the home and ask if he was ill etc. I knew from our bus jaunts that he was widowed and didn’t have any children / family. I 100% planned to take my Mums advice – seriously if that woman says ‘take a coat’ you know a tsunami is going to hit London, however on the morning that I had planned to ‘pop over’ I noticed his window had altered. The once beige curtains were floral and a vase sat in the centre of the window sill. I didn’t need to ask.

I will always smile when I see a man in freshly polished brogues and I will never forget the wisdom and life he maintained until our last stop together.

 

 

 

Example is leadership (Intro)

Quote by Albert Schweitzer

Being human is complex. I’m not sure I’d actually like to consider myself part of the human race – we’re very often mean, selfish and ignorant. However, I am no different and have had my fare share of moments when I have imparted negativity on others; the awkward time (before I became a Teacher) that I got horrendously drunk at the office party and was a drunken pain in the *insert body part of your choice, to my then boyfriend. The time I was cruel to my best friend and ignored her, I was twelve; that isn’t an excuse and I was a horrid because I didn’t realise how much hurt I had caused her. The thousands of times over the last thirty something years I have spilled vile comments out of my mouth like grenades to loved ones, friends and even the women who carried me in her stomach for nine months (sorry Mum)…

Due to my disability (being human) I can’t promise that I won’t do any of the above things again over the coming days, years or moments. I also will probably experience grenades of negativity from others because other people that I share this planet with have the same disability, the population is increasing ten fold and this means human condition grows.

HOWEVER, what we do have is the ability to slow down. To breath and to make kinder choices, to say nothing instead of the horrendous words and actions we have previously intwined together. How? Well I have never claimed to have all the answers, but I have made a conscious effort for many years to be kinder, gentler and positive. I take my position as a role model extremely seriously, I care about how I present myself,  as I want the girls that I teach to present the best them to the universe. I care about how I make others feel because I believe that karma is something that rhymes with rich and I want my son to grow up with characteristics that matter. So, with my disability in check, I make these adjustments both forwards and back and sometimes I win and sometimes like any disease it takes hold of me.

For as long as I can remember I have collected people. (*Authorities need not worry there are no humans in my basement – in fact I don’t have a basement) Metaphorically speaking I have always been fascinated by humans, people watching is one of my favourite past times. When I was at university my bestie and I would sit in the front of a local cafe with a huge cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows people watch from the shop window. As we were both on a drama degree we would often create scenarios for the people and why they were in town, what they had purchased and usually added unnecessary details like what they had had for dinner and who they were sleeping with.

Much like horror movies, we all seem to be attracted to what we also dislike – my love / hate is humans. So, I have decided to share with you some of my favourite icons with a new series. I hope that my sharing the qualities I recognise in them, you can take something away with you that you see in people around you. Most of them will be famous, some will be personal and a few will be somewhere in between.

I will attach this post to the series titles so that readers will hopefully understand why this series exists, because no matter what our age from zero to one hundred we all need role models  to help us thrive.

One obvious last question – who are your role models, idols, mentors or humans that offer hope? 

Lick the lid of life :)

Strangley there is a lack of yoghurt quotes in the world, so I pinched Muller yoghurts slogan from a few years back. 

Warning: this is a ramble that was going around in my head which I attempted to share with Mr F but he told me I was jabbering. So I thought, fine I’ll share my brain with the world instead.

I decided today that humans are basically the same as yoghurt. (Yup, this was the point that the Mr walked away) There are high brands and basic ranges, logos and cool kid varieties, that can come in awesome wrapping and even sometimes in a squidgy tube, some have character endorsements to make them even cooler #princessdisney

It must be sad to be a basic own brand yoghurt. Surely you’ve still got all the calcium goodness that the others have, in the pot you’re still made of the same ingredients, but some supermarket dude has labelled you as not worthy of a sufficient price tag as other pots.

Then there is the privileged and organic variety, the cows were perhaps treated better from birth and fresh grass meant that the yoghurt is superior and has more stuff than most right from the start. The price tag is high and picking this kind of yoghurt makes the consumers feel like they are saving the world one spoonful at a time.

Ohhh I should probably add that organics best friend or close relative is the probiotic branded kind. It’s like the fitness freak of the yoghurt family and even refuses to be eaten with a spoon. Instead it insists ‘on the go’ and is drunk from a sleek mini bottle. It’s more than a yoghurt and is promoted as a deity.It can cleanse your bowel, shuffle your ph balance to optimum ph-ness AND save you from 250 types of cancer you didn’t even know existed.

I wonder if like humans the yoghurts on the shelves look at each other and compare packaging. Or perhaps the more refined yoghurts read the labels of the lower price yoghurts when they aren’t looking to make themselves feel better (“ohhh he is high in sat fats and I’m not even sure why sour cream is in this isle?”). Firstly, I agree my imagination is at times rather ‘unique’ but judging packaging on yoghurt is just as absurd as us judging each others hair, occupation, cars, holidays, or how the couple across the road have afforded an extension and holiday (I’m not bitter). I’m not saying I don’t do it, I’m just acknowledging that it’s a weird thing to do if you look at it from a distance.

I also fully understand (within the mind set of yoghurt) why being a shop discount brands must be tough. For starters (let’s judge for a bit longer) your packaging is so basic it cracks, your lids loose and you sit opposite the smoothie with fricking bobble hats on. If I were yoghurt I’d want to have a brand, a place to belong. Perhaps even an advert on TV? I’d want to be low fat and have all the taste of full fat…I’d want to be yoghurt heaven…and then I gave it some more thought and I realised that I’ve overlooked a yoghurt that’s much more me…

The best yoghurt I’ve ever had was on holiday. It wasn’t over priced, it probably was calorie horrific but you can’t beat authentic Greek yoghurt. It’s thick, creamy and utterly tasty; so much so it doesn’t really need anything with it, it stands alone. My preference is a little honey but is also nice served with fruit or a dessert – human wise it works well as a team or individually. It’s authentic, it doesn’t have fancy labels, hype or need to be promoted. The taste has depth and clarity and most importantly its not trying to be anything more or less than it is.

So after my yoghurt rant I’ve decided we all should be aspiring to be us, full fat or otherwise…

  • Labels are man made and only read by people that doubt themselves.
  • True character doesn’t need media attention
  • Greek yoghurt is awesome
  • Own Brand yoghurt is essentially the same on the inside as all the other options – give it a try
  • Perhaps if we all knew our own self worth we wouldn’t need to judge the packaging of others
  • I like yoghurt 🙂

Sorry if you are lactose intolerant and had a reaction whilst reading this yoghurt rant. 

*Whatmyfridgesays takes no responsibility for this because its a made up rant with no ingredients, preservatives or other things found in foods that I don’t really understand.