This just made me chuckle.

If you had been watching me this morning and was wearing your judgement pants you may have concluded a different perspective to my current reality. You may of said this Mum wasn’t engaged in her son and consumed by her mobile device.

Little dude had Judo, Mr F and I sat on the sidelines and whilst Daddy looked on I marked thirty GCSE papers…well half marked (seriously marking takes FOREVER), then it was swimming time with Daddy. Little dude is now 75% fish and Daddy has been a pro at teaching him. They are currently working on a new stroke and having a blast…I’m typing this from the gallery. On my mobile phone. I glance up every now and then, but I am writing. For me. This is my time. Swimming is their time.

Judgement pants may conclude I’m disengaged and not interest. I’m one of ‘those’ Mums. It’s true and I’m going to tell you why.

This Mumma doesn’t care what anyone other than her tribe thinks of her. This parent works full time, blogs for her own sanity, lives life to the full…manages her time to the minute. This time isn’t mine to watch my son swim…it’s my writing time. It’s Daddy and little dudes time. It means that with my marking done (well more done) and my post is written, in twenty minutes I will help little dude to dress. My cup will be full and I’ll be able to give him my attention, full attention – not planning in my head, stressy Mum writing a mental list kind of attention. My phone will barely be seen and we will fill our day with cooking, visiting loved ones and a dog walk. We will create memories and giggle.

It’s clear to me that perspective is needed. On lookers don’t know me, don’t need to judge me and I don’t need to judge them. We all do, obviously – it’s human nature. Sometimes, like my image above, we need a new perspective to read it. We need to step back, to not attack, judge or be quick in response.

In friendships, with work colleague and with your tribe add a filter before you make a remark. Breath. Step back. You’ll be wiser for it. Much like the swimming pool my boys are currently in, a filter is essential to prevent them from swallowing pure wee. Don’t let your life be poisoned by other people misunderstood perceptions.


15 thoughts on “Perspective

  1. You’ve made me really think about being judgemental this morning. It’s all too easy to pass judgement on what someone else is doing, especially easy with parenting, I think. But we are only seeing that particular moment, not what happened before, nor what they’ll do later. I’ll try hard to keep that in mind and turn my filter on. Thank you. #thesatsesh


  2. This is so accurate. Often I start writing a blog post or freelance article when watching my daughters swimming or gymnastics, just because that to me is spare time. There’s a constant pressure on parents to ‘be present’ but guess what? I need to earn a living too! I think it’s all about balance. Admittedly sometimes the scales do tip the wrong way but I think that’s fine as long as you are aware of it. Life isn’t perfect, we as parents aren’t perfect and I’m fed up of trying to live up to someone else is perception of what a good parent is! #TheSatSesh


  3. Love this!
    Perspective indeed.
    Yesterday, I was looking in one of the children in my class reading record. Although 6, she likes to write in the title of the books she has completed. I check this every Friday and try to hear all the children once a week individually. I had noticed she had written ‘Poo Bum” so my immediate reaction (after noticing the amazing handwriting!) was to frown……here we go…why has she written this for me to see? Why didn’t her mum let her do this?!? So I asked her…gently, “oh these are some interesting words you have written in your reading record, Freya…” her reply… “well, you asked me to write down home books that I have read and that book is called Poo Bum so I wrote it down like you said….” 🤪😳 As I thought….what amazing handwriting! Haha
    Lovely post. X


  4. This made me laugh as today I was thinking similarly – me and the eldest were both sat on the train glued to screens – easy to judge us. However, what people wouldn’t have known was we’d just had a lovely few hours together – chatting on the train journey into London, wandering around the West end and the RA exhibition and then lunch together. 10 mins downtime on the train back seemed no issue in that context but I bet people could have easily judged my parenting right then on the train! Hey ho. Be careful of ‘snapshots’ and judging people based on them! Or judging full stop really. Great post (as ever!) xx #thesatsesh xx


  5. This is so true. I have become a lot less judgemental as I’ve grown older, wiser and had a child with special needs. I’m often to be seen on my phone or laptop while she runs around the park or soft play, but that’s because I’m working (I’m self-employed) or I’m taking a few minutes for me for once. #TheSatSesh


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