As we head in to the last quarter of 2026, as the seasons alter- it makes sense to pause, if we don’t we might miss the beauty around us.
The pause I’m suggesting isn’t a lifetime and perhaps it only lasts an hour or over a weekend, but before the social calendar of Halloween, bonfire nights and Christmas calls…have a pause.
In this pause I recommend you ignore thoughts to the future, reflecting on the past or any time of setting goals. In fact, I recommend you do absolutely nothing.
For some this looks like a duvet, snacks and a movie, marinading yourself in not socialising and dressing to not leave the house, for others it looks like leaving the technology behind and going for a long walk. Undisturbed in nature is my personal favourite, the Mr and I have been doing this on a Sunday for the last few weeks. We walk for about four hours and go through forests, live stock fields and follow public pathways exploring the countryside and ignoring any conversations that involve anything other than right where we are. We don’t take phones and knowing we won’t be disturbed is part of the joy.
Back to the pause…I’m recommending doing very little as the modern world often requires high levels of engagement and attention. To pause is to fill your own cup up and take a break from the world. To notice the season change or like I mentioned earlier to snuggle down and watch a movie that doesn’t require anything in return.
Stay in pause and you’ve become stagnant and that doesn’t serve anyone, mostly yourself. The world will move on without you and when you need to move you’ll find the process hard and daunting. That said, I think most people move so quickly trying to reach goals in their careers, social lives, exercise and many other aspects that they miss all the beauty in the in between moments, so take a leaf from Autumn, slow it down for a moment, look around and soak up the now – pause is a moment in time you never regret.
I’ve recently discovered a hack to get things done. It’s blown my tiny forty plus year old ADHD world. It started with my son’s bedroom. It badly needed painting and I planned to do it over the summer, I got as far as purchasing the paint. Why would I procrastinate over a small weekend DIY job? I dislike home decorating.
Cut to ‘back to school’ September and the paint tins glared at me with begrudging taunts. Something had to change.
It began with one wall. I did it in a couple of hours. To achieve the painted wall I had to move everything near that wall out, get the paint stuff out, complete the job and then put everything back. I did it whilst the family were out at judo training. I looked at my first coat with pride and I decided which wall I’d do next and when. Slowly, Judo training session by Judo training session I worked my way around the room, I’m not yet finished but I’ve found an achievable momentum and over the next few weeks, a few hours here and there – the room will be decorated.
My two takeaways: obviously, I still don’t like painting walls but the job is getting done. Overall it’ll take me longer – what with the putting everything in and out of the space each time but it’s better than procrastination and nothing being achieved.
Taking the task in bite size pieces also means I’m making few errors, this does save me time. Had I of ever found a whole weekend to commit to the task, I would have painted with resentment and made mistakes that I’d then have to wait to dry, to then redo and solve. My brain works fast but that doesn’t always mean my skillset can keep up and if I’m hurrying a task (especially one I don’t want to do), mistakes are plentiful and in my experience often costly.
This week, I purchased a spot cleaning carpet cleaner. I’d procrastinated about purchasing one for a while. Previously I’ve hired professionals to do them, but that takes preparation time and logistics of both being home to supervise and being out the home to let them dry. I’ve also rented them before, but that means you have a span of time to move all the furniture, use the cleaner and get it back to the shop…this always leads to mistakes on my part and if I’m truly honest the machine we hired last time was dirtier than my carpets. I’m unsure much was achieved. I knew I needed my own one, this issue was suction. The expensive ones have the best suction and thus do a better job. Plus, I could clean it properly as I go…then I thought about my ‘small tasks’ solution to getting the bedroom done. I then purchased a small spot cleaning but high quality cleaner. Instead of doing whole floors or all the rooms at once, I’ve done sections…
Small, manageable tasks (usually with a time commitment for me) are something I’ve done at work forever (eg. Answer 5 emails and then change task), but only just introduced it to my domestic goddess routine and it made me think about how other people get things done. Perhaps you are great at getting things done in one area of your house and not as great in another. What is it about the environment where you’re more successful and how can you take aspects of that environment and apply it to tasks you struggle with. What I’ve described above is a manageable time frame with a manageable task. All the small things will hopefully become completed tasks, little actions that create momentum. How do you get things done?
Authenticity is one of the many things that makes you wonderful. Talents vary, interests unique – you are you and that in itself is precious.
I began this blog when my son was about nine months old and in hindsight I’d probably lost myself between career, homemaker and my new role as Mum. It makes sense that I sought a creative outlet, a place to be me, some where that I could voice my thoughts and dance to my rules rather than plan and prepare for others.
Life can move so fast that you can get caught in variations of yourself that don’t allow you to balance all of the aspects that make you happy. For some it’s hobbies that get boxed up due to work commitments, for others it’s suppressed emotions or family life that requires your full attention.
Dreams and whimsical notions are often the first things that we shed when life gets busy, but often they bring joy and hope for better versions of ourselves. Creative outlets can be hard to maintain and time with those that we love can sometimes get lost between mundane tasks…so what can we do?
Make a cup of tea, cut a slice of cake – if that brings you joy and grab some paper and a pen. Whilst you sip your tea write a list for things you are grateful for and in the next column write down a ‘to do’ list, not in this case the ‘pick up milk’ and chore type but the one that you’d like to do…the things you’d like to do, like to experience or have more time to do.
Next comes the hard part, making it happen. You don’t need to do the whole list overnight, in fact the list may take a life time and if you review it every few months, you may find your desires alter. What I can guarantee is that small shifts and being true to yourself will improve your quality of life.
Warning: being authentic to yourself is contagious and may increase your wellbeing, quality of life and health.
I reviewed my list at the start of the summer break and wrote down ‘drink more water’ – I know that I am happier when I’m hydrated but honestly sometimes I just forget to drink enough. To ensure this happened I made sure I drank from my glass bottle, kept it in the fridge between sessions and gave myself a goal that I could manage. Every time I reached for my water I was prioritising me and that in turn made me feel better about myself.
Another I did a little while ago was I started recording on instagram what I was reading. I just took photos of the covers and sometimes wrote a few words about the books to make me accountable, as last year I read less than previous years. Reading and making time for my imagination is never not a good thing and books are something that bring me a wealth of joy and sometimes knowledge too.
Unless I am authentic to the life I want to live, I can easily get swept in a life that mirrors those around me. The images online that the algorithm send me, the goals my friends have and I feel I should do too, progressing in my career in the same manner the person above me has…I need to check I am happy with my choices, the way I spend my time and with who. Unless I am myself…I am lost.
Are you aligned to your authentic self? you know him/her well when you lose track of time, feel content and aren’t always exhausted. If you look in the mirror and like who you see…
This week I’m sharing with you a lesson I taught myself this week…honestly, it felt like I’d slapped myself in the face.
Last night I was scrolling on Instagram and found a reel of a woman who was doing a food challenge. The challenge consisted of seeing how long she could eat out of the food already in her house, rather than top up shop every few days. In the reel (it was about day seven) she was substituting ingredients such as cream with yoghurt or peas for frozen broccoli, I don’t follow the person online but scrolled up to see how many days she’d be able to do the challenge for. I was shocked to see it ended on day ten, in fact even on day ten she’d bought some chicken to go with her evening meal…regardless I was surprised because she hadn’t taken the challenge to her own discomfort eg. Day 10034 and I’ve eaten a teaspoon of jam and a pickle. instead, she feedback that she’d realised how privileged we are. We don’t necessarily cook with the ingredients we have, instead the consumer culture encourages us to have want we want to eat and if we don’t have it, it’s easily purchased in an accessible store.
As someone that does a large family shop each month and then frequents local stores several times a week for one or two things this resonated with me. Mainly, as those one or two things becomes much larger and I end up purchasing ‘treats’ and food that we don’t necessarily need.
I was still thinking about this concept the next day and decided I would make it my next blog. Home alone I was saying out loud what I would write and how I would structure the post, planning and scripting as I go, like most working parents I did this whilst also baking. I make most of our meals from scratch and a regular in my baking cycle is sourdough and homemade Soreen, Half way through adding my ingredients for the Soreen into my mixing bowl I realised I was out of dried fruit. How could I be talking about not over consuming whilst also thinking about when I could nip to the shops for some dried fruit! The ingredients (minus the dried fruit) were in the bowl – it was too late to not make it? That said Soreen without mixed fruit is well.,, brown mush?
I double checked my larder in hope that a bag of dried mixed fruit might appear when the slap to my face hit me…I didn’t have mixed fruit but I did have some dried cranberries and some (potentially passed their sell by date) raisins…I could adapt.
That’s exactly what I did. The slap felt huge mainly as I was learning about privilege and entitlement in that very same moment that my instinct was hardwired to ‘I’ll pop to the shop and get some’
Whilst I can’t promised I’ll succeed, I am resolute in trying to change this programming. We can make do, we can use alternatives and I believe it will take repetition to alter my mindset but it’s something I’m committed to trying and would encourage you to try too!
Lastly, of course the cranberry and raisins worked beautifully and my family didn’t even notice the difference.
As I read this quote I took it to mean, sometimes princess and sometimes warrior…I’m now reflecting that perhaps it meant sometimes young and sometimes old. Well, we haven’t time for aging – far too much life to experience! That leaves us with soft girl and ferocious beast. I am both, we all are. We aren’t one dimensional beings, we are complex hypocritical, emotionally vulnerable and sensitively beings. We are making this crazy thing called life work and some days we do better than others.
I have never grown out of climbing trees – trees are calming and fun and the views are often better than you think. I hope I never grow out of climbing trees. The other day it was sunny, I had a plain white T-shirt on and a peach coloured tutu with white converse. We had decided to go out for a spontaneous evening walk. The forest was covered in dapple light and fading bluebells hanging on to their last moments of bloom. As we made our way through the woodland I saw a tree that needed to be climbed. Under my tutu (I work in schools) I had on some cycling shorts to avoid any awkward blusters of wind. The boys said I shouldn’t climb the tree as I might rip my skirt….the soft dress girl internally roared and I hoisted my tutu into my shorts and climbed the tree. Imagine a ball of candy floss climbing a tree… that was me. When I got to the branch I’d set my eyes on I released my skirt and let it lightly blow in the wind…I am both soft and dino roaring. Making my way down was a little difficult until I threw my tutu down ahead of me and popped it back on when I was ‘back on solid earth’ – some fights aren’t worth having.
You are not one thing and you get to decide what you want to be. You can be brave and scared – most adults are. You can be soft and hard – we are walking contradictions and it’s this simple act that makes us interesting to live alongside. We can do what we please and yes of course we have to live with the consequences but often if we are true to ourselves the consequences are easier to live with. Don’t let people tell you who to be, how to be or what to do, you aren’t a robot and your super power is that you are uniquely you, so wear the tutu and climb tree.
What a fabulous quote. I had to pop it on the fridge, it has a frivolous feeling and yet feels deep and tender, with a twist of romance…
It doesn’t matter how much you know yourself, take time to align and balance the various elements of life…sometimes we get lost or forget what brings us joy or what we need to say no to. Each stage of life brings new joys and challenges, things that once bought us joy can feel like they are causing us to drown and at times new experiences can offer new perspectives, if we are open to receiving them.
Emily’s quote expresses the need to shine the light on the dark areas of life, the ones we hide away due to shame or overwhelm, the bits of us that live in the shadows because ‘shining a light’ on the issue then involves us having to do something about it. Facing fears sounds hugely dramatic but often we know that there are daily small tasks we should tackle but often pop into our shadows. In the shadows these small tasks can multiply, small leaks become floods, chipped paint that could be sanded and repainted in minutes becomes a bigger issues that requires sections to be replaced. I know this because I have a plethora of tasks hidden in my shadows. One of the stupidest tasks that I hate doing is washing the kitchen floor, however I have learnt time and time again that it takes under 15 minutes and makes me feel seriously satisfied- it’s a stupid task because I know all of this and still put it off, perhaps on reflection I’m stupid and the task is basic.
As we step into a new season and spring beckons us in with a daffodil of joy and a sprinkle of sunlight to inspire us, it’s time to reflect on where we are in our own journey, each season often needs us to adjust our sails and this quote reminds us where to focus our attention, obviously mine includes the kitchen floor but also other goals such as a consistent exercise routine and making myself accountable in other areas. Sometimes it’s not action that is required, often it’s rest. At other reflective moments we realise that we need to rebalance the time we are spending on one activity and redirect action in another area – it’s not more, it’s just different. As we head into spring where do you need to shine your lantern, where can you see gains that are currently stagnant? They’ll always be shadows when there is light, you don’t need to tackle it all today, but you don’t want the darkness to consume you either.
Approaching thirteen you asked me a question and I’m not sure I did the answer any justice. Instead, I’ve taken some time to scribble my words on the page and now I’m ready to share my answer.
You explained that the girls in your school are plastering on make up, drowning themselves in phenoxyethanol and benzophenomes (your high ability science and I don’t know what these are, but I get the gist), you told me the girls randomly stick mini stickers in the shape of stars, hearts and mushrooms that are meant to hide blemishes but as you eloquently point out, instead draw attention. You finish your confused monologue with ‘all to impress boys and Mum – we don’t like it’
This is what I wished I had said in that moment. It’s not about you. It’s never for boys.
My own story with makeup means you have seen very little modelled on your Mumma. I taught in an all girls school for over eleven years and began this in my mid twenties. I arrived at work daily with a face full of concealer, foundation, blush, mascara, sometimes eyeliner, sometimes eyeshadow and realised that as I preached at the front of the assembly hall on topics of self love, how as young women my girls should love themselves and not worry about others, I was hiding behind a mask myself. Realising my hypocrisy I scaled down my make up operation. I taught makeup-less most days, added concealer when required, a whisp of mascara when desired…but mainly I taught from a place of authenticity. I’m very blessed that my self love is high and doesn’t rely on external products. That isn’t the same for everyone.
Makeup can be fun and on a special occasion I will often use a variety of different shades to ‘enhance’ my features. That said, I have never once dressed or put makeup for boys. I don’t think your father notices if I wear mascara or not. I’m pretty certain he doesn’t, as I can come back from the hairdressers with a full head of highlights and he asks where I’ve been, it’s likely he doesn’t even know what mascara is. It’s never to attract boys, because you are right – generally, the male gaze isn’t keen on makeup.
The girls in your school are working out who they are. This is a deeply personal matter and society has added makeup as a step from girls world to womanhood. Like it or not, it’s there and it’s complex. For some it is a mask, it’s hides deep insecurities and for others it’s frivolous fun. Make up can come with a thousand connotations that as a boy – are none of your business.
If anything, the girls in your school are putting makeup on for other girls. I often dress for my female friends, I always dress to express and I always wear what I want…again with my content confidence I don’t worry about others nor if the outfit and the setting are appropriate and I’ve been cold more often that not because I always forget a coat and never dress practically. But I am happy…cold but happy. All of what I wear and how I present myself is my business.
The issue currently for you is that most girls are appalling at putting on makeup. Like, really bad. They are at the stabiliser part of riding a bike, it gets better in time but falling off in terms of makeup can look horrendous. If you had seen the drawn on eye brows of 2011 you to would have known where Crayola got this inspiration for the chiselled tip . In 2006 I taught in Essex and the fake orange tan smell across the school could put year nine boys to sleep – it may sound stereotypical but the previous white collared school shirts where autumnal shades of orange and brown were a very real thing. But it’s not your business. As their teacher it’s not my business.
What someone adds to their body is their concern only. All that matters is that you treat yourself with respect. By treating yourself with respect that in turn means you allow kindness to be spoken from your lips. If you see contours on a girls face that look like she’a playing cowboy and Indian’s – you do not need to say anything. You don’t even need to compliment a girl who has clearly invested hours of YouTube ‘how to’ videos and looks stunning…it’s still none of your business. You may become close to that girl or perhaps even be her boyfriend – still none of your business. Other peoples faces and fashions are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Instead, I can tell promise it gets better. The girls will take off their makeup stabilisers and learn how to blend, purchase the right products for them (and not something pushed by Tik-Tok algorithms ) in time the makeup in the room will feel less ‘loud’ to you. It’s just a phase and my gorgeous boy, puberty will have its own pathway for you, focus on you and always remain kind.
I have always had a strong dislike for car sales people, the reason is simple; they’ve always lived up to the stereotype of being pushy, arrogant and ultimately unhelpful. In the same way I’m not going to try and sell January to you. It’s bland skies, dark mornings and it feels naked, stripped from the tinsel and lights of December. I strongly believe January is for hibernating, staying home and resting. It’s not a season of dramatic change and that’s ok.
I’m now going to reframe January but don’t think I’m not aware of all the above, I’m not a car sales man and I’m not going to tell you that January will be amazing, only you can control that, we don’t have to hold the heavy weight of the new year either. After a December of social demands how lucky are we to have a slower paced month next. One that doesn’t demand or want, a month to quietly potter and plan…but demands little action. I’ve seen memes online about January having 2383 days in it and I agree it can feel long, especially if you were paid in early in December.
I am lucky that I don’t need to live pay check to pay check, I am lucky that I don’t desire to go out, content to snuggle down at home and happy to slowly step through January after the tornado of December. I think of January as an exhale. Of letting go, perhaps even with some light decluttering. As a huge lover of books January gives me time to immerse myself in literate and whilst I may be still, I’m thinking about spring, the year ahead and what I’d like to achieve – I’m just not taking action yet. How lucky are we. January is the dream month, the planning and the creative ideas coming together ready to launch but nothing that needs to begin today.
Often working people get the Sunday night blues and perhaps January is the Monday of the year. How lucky are we to have a fresh start. Mondays last just as long as the other six days and as we approach the end of our lives I’m sure we’d be grateful for every Monday we could gather, the same goes for Januaries.
Just because something doesn’t sparkle doesn’t mean there can’t be huge privilege within it. Rather than viewing the month with a heavy heart and a sense of blandness, look for the moments you can reframe and reflect the positive moments. Half way through the month now, it will soon pass – perhaps you can see you’ve already achieved something marvellous? Or perhaps you can find contentment in the stillness of this time. Whatever your own circumstances I urge you to reframe your world with a positive perspective, why? Because you are lucky you have the option to. Celebrate the small moments and I promise 2026 will be the year you flourish.
As we enter 2026 and pack away the Christmas glitz for another eleven months, we might be tempted to declutter our spaces. However, today’s post is about decluttering our energy.
I’m a huge fan of saging or using palo santo in my home. In fact there are many ways I reenergise my spaces. The woo woo meets science suggests that saging kills all energy leaving a blank surface, the bleach of the spiritual world so to speak. Palo santo just removes the negative energy, so is more like your kitchen disinfectant – a little less intense and leaves the positive energy behind. I use both depending on what I feel the space needs and whilst I cant scientifically prove it makes a difference, I can tell you it makes me feel like I’m taking action to improve my living space and energy, how I feel is often all I can control.
Another practice that I do is blow a pinch of cinnamon from the palm of my hand over the threshold of my front door, this is meant to invite money and abundance into my home, again no proof it works but it makes me happy.
Bridges are easier to burn but harder for people to do. If you don’t enhance my life (or those around me) I’m unlikely to contact you. If I’m the one always making contact, I will stop. It’s your loss.
When it comes to taking down bridges there are two aspects that often don’t get discussed. The first is that bridges can be rebuilt or upgraded. If you realise that a friend is no longer a joy but a burden, take the bridge down, if things alter you can always rebuild a new bridge, it might be smaller but friendships can be reestablished. When we discuss knocking down bridges and taking people out of our lives, we often think about the process like we blew the bridge up with nuclear weapons – never to return, in some cases this is useful but in others a little break can often allow you to reflect. Secondly, you get to decide what bridges you cross. You get to decide who you spend your time with. If we return to our bridge analogy then you are the toll booth manager. You say who crosses your bridge and when they can return, you also might need to complete repairs on your bridge eg. You both may need to reanalyse your relationship and give it the attention in needs. Bridge building is complex, much like relationships. Clear boundaries and communication are often important, less so that bridges perhaps.
Either way, as we begin a new year do what you need to ensure the space around you is positive. For some it maybe decluttering (always in my house), redecorating (always in my house) or making time to prioritise things that you want to achieve, be that eating less processed things, reducing sugar or exercising regularly. Whatever it is, always prioritise yourself.
December is certainly a period of both giving and receiving and my intention is to enjoy the magic the season has to offer but not at the expense of being a jerk.
Yesterday I went to Marks and Spencer’s for some last minute food bits, mainly double cream and items that need to be in date. In the stores defence it was the Saturday before Christmas…
Pulling into the car park was not a seasonal delight full of ‘good will to all men’ it was more like a scene from ‘Saving private Ryan’ and I realised it was every shopper for themselves. As I entered the store the front of the shop was packed with discounted vegetables and beyond it was wall to wall trolley trauma with couples bickering and over priced and over consuming items being purchased – sadly, most to landfill than tummy delight.
I made myself a little smaller, smiled sweetly and with extra love and politeness made my way to the checkout, perhaps if I role modelled good manners it might become contagious? Sadly, it didn’t catch on, head down I made my way to my car and called my partner to say whatever we didn’t have – we would go without. It wasn’t worth the Christmas chaos.
Driving home with my double cream secure, I reflected on the bizarre season and how it doesn’t always bring out the best in humans. My super skill is reframing situations, I decided to see gratitude for all the shop workers, farmers and factory employees it took to fill the store, the cards and well wishes I’d received in the last few weeks from loved ones, the time I’d spend with family and the opportunity to rest and reflect at the end of another blessed and productive year.
Take this season to give what you can to those that you want to share your time, attention and vegetables with. You’ll sleep soundly bathed in good karma and I’m not sure the birth of Jesus needs to over complicate a traditional Sunday roast? Love, kindness and discounted veg to all.
