You and I are more than friends, we’re like a really small gang

Quote Anon

This quote warms my heart and reminds me of my soul mate. No not him indoors, he’s my equal. My soul mate and I met at university during auditions. Then the stars aligned and we ended up with rooms close together, then a house share and now despite living miles away, we speak daily. My soul mate is my shadow and I am hers. If you are blessed to have a friend that makes you a better person, tell them. This post is all about our small gang.

We complete each other’s sentences, understand each others work issues (she’s also a teacher), we sound the same on the phone and have on many occasions tricked all the Mr’s over the years by pretending to be each other. We are very alike and completely different. She has a huge friendship circle that goes back to her first breath, I hate humans. She loves to upcycle furniture and I like to drink champagne whilst she paints furniture for me. She is kind and thoughtful, she can’t say no. (Yes, I know you’re getting better) I am blunt, she is polite. I’m number one and she’s number a zillion and will put all other beings (even Doug the fat pigeon) before her. We speak daily on the phone and if we don’t I feel like I’ve lost a limb.

Our taste in fashion is different, but I’d know her taste in seconds. We can both cook, clean and love Gavin and Stacey, TV sitcoms like friends, laughing and my son…we love him equally. She always puts him first, sends him parcels; I can’t stand onesies…he rang her and asked her for one (he never asks for anything) as he admires her collection, she sent him a parcel that made him beam. In 2019 she is getting married to her equal. I’m a bridesmaid (along with 80 others, I told you she knows a lot of people), I’ve been a bridesmaid twice in my life, she is annually a bridesmaid for someone and has a closet like Katherine Heigl in 27 dresses. So her moment to shine is a big deal. That said, she’s allowing my son to walk down the aisle carrying the rings in an outfit of his choice. Currently the design involves 8 legs and it has to light up. I don’t need to apologies to her, she knows him and loves him for his wonderful imagination, I know she would be upset if I made him wear a suit that made him align with the colour scheme.

When we are together I feel complete. I wouldn’t be me without her. She is my Clare bear. She’s my better half. Together we are the coolest little gang ever. It helps that somehow we’ve ended up with men folk that are also very different and yet the parallels of similarity are odd.

Being cool, we often sing aloud together in our cars and create new lyrics to songs or poems that make little to no sense but make us laugh.

Thank you for being my bestie, my light in the dark times and my shadow enjoying the lighter aspects of life with me. May 2019 bring you all you desire and more…if like me you have a really small gang, tell them. To show others you appreciate them is the highest gift you can give, unless they like gin, then share your gin with them.

Advertisements

Words are free, it’s how you use them that costs you.

Quote by Anon

I may have spoken about this before but Pen from The Single Swan mentioned in a comment the other day that she picks a word for the year ahead, bizarrely that day the bestie and I were on the phone and mentioned that our common word for 2018 was ‘accomplished ‘ (sounds so joyful on the tongue). As a woman who loves to set intentions I thought I’d select a word for 2019. As I began to think about what I wanted from the year and searched through my bag of goals, ideas and plans I very quickly decided on a word and it scared me to my core.

Achieve.

As I type the word I feel a sense of burden, fear and that perhaps I’m taking on a word that’s out of my reach. However, through this blog I have learnt that nothing changes unless you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. I also don’t need every moment of every day to be an achievement and with small adjustments as the months roll I can take steps that suit my pace. That said, some of the goals I will achieve will need me to step way beyond my area of comfort. Upon reflection it’s a word suitable for success and the challenge that comes with achieving. Take for example my first challenge…the puppy I rescued. She is a ball of chew and needles from her teeth to her sharp claws. She has no boundaries (we are trying to teach her them day by day, she is teaching us that rules are made to be chewed) and although she’s also a bundle of cuteness, I know training her will be a challenge but also an achievement.

Next, I will be moving this blog away from WordPress and to my own site…any tips totally welcome as http and widgets brings me out in a cold sweat of confusion and doubt. However, by taking the leap will mean I can add a new aspect to the site which I really want to do…details to follow once I’ve worked out the ifs, but’s and all the words that come with achieving this mission.

Other things I’d like to achieve will help me to love my home a little more. It’s a nice house but as I’m not a fan of the word ‘nice’ this speaks volumes about my feelings to the building we call home.

2019 will also be my daughters 10th anniversary. It blows my brain to think of all the things she could of liked and become. We don’t celebrate her birthday or death but I’d like to mark her decade with a gathering or event…again, any ideas welcome as this will be another emotional challenge to our journey to achieving a positive life without her on earth.

Join me through my challenges and achievements via this corner of the internet and why not pick your own word…if like the quote suggests we pay a price, let it be life changing for the better.

Happy New Year.

When trials come your way, look for the pearls.

Quote confused: could be the bible or song lyrics…or both?

Sometimes things are just meant to be. Currently curled up on my lap is a tiny puppy. We took her to the vets and she is around 6-7weeks old. We aren’t sure of her breed, guesses are mainly around a combination of a Labrador and a springer.

We did want another puppy and was waiting until the new year when the weather was a little warmer. After all who wants to stand in the dark and rain with a puppy…apparently we do now. Even better she’s black so you can’t see her a night without a torch which she likes to dart away from and it’s rained constantly in the UK since she came home.

How this bundle came to be is a little different from the average ‘buy a dog’ story, so I’m sharing it on here. On Friday I went to buy some cider vinegar from a store after work (snobby I know). Outside was an absolutely useless security guard shouting at a man and inflaming the situation, the man was clearly on illegal substances. Shoppers walked past and avoided the area. I asked the man if he was okay (to the dismay of the security guard) I calmed him down and noticed a puppy peeping out of his coat. It was a cold night and I asked him if I could hold her. He had taken them from his girlfriend, the black ones hadn’t sold and he wanted his next hit.

The store has a huge car park in the front of it and you can see cars approaching. He was worried because (rightly so) the guard had called the Police. I explained that I would talk to the police for him and that shouting and fighting wasn’t going to help. He then confessed he had some ‘taken’ jewellery in his coat. He showed me a string of pearls. He wanted help and I said the police would be able to offer that.

The security guard left.

Police arrived and I as promised explained that this man had taken some things he wished he didn’t need to take. That he had some ‘borrowed items’ on him and that he had promised me he would go nicely with them. (All those years of calming down year eleven pupils had come in handy).

He was calmly arrested on several charges and also because he had killed one of the puppies in his coat (I was still holding the other one) it was either too cold or his erratic behaviour had harmed it. I knew I wasn’t going to hand over the ball of fluff in my hands. I followed the Police to the station and the man signed her over to me because “I like her, she’s alright” (nothing like a compliment from a puppy killing drug dealer to set your Friday evening up for success). I didn’t want her to go in to cells while they tried to get her to a rescue home and both the officers and myself were worried she might need be in need of her mum and therefore need a little more care.

I phoned the Mr and said ‘Hi I’m on my way home and I have a puppy on my lap’ he then organised the necessary bits we would need for that night and ‘as long as it isn’t a Dachshund’ we could keep her (one day I’ll get that sausage dog).

Until then we own a bitsa dog (breed: bit of this, bit of that), we stand in the rain outside only for her to wee inside and we all adore her.

After the stolen pearls in the mans pocket and my sons love of Pirates of the Caribbean her official name is #TheBlackPearl (the goodie ship) and we lovingly call her Pearl…or rather ‘No pearl don’t eat that’. To stare at cute puppy pictures check her out on instagram @fridgesays

The Saturday session #59

Welcome to our very last #thesatsesh of 2018. Myself and my cohost Hayley have decided to take our own mindful, present and positive advice and step away for the Christmas period. I will still blog weekly (my brain needs the therapy) so feel free to drop in but many of our linky regulars are hobby bloggers and we didn’t feel there would be a demand worthy of taking our eyes off our ever growing little people. They really do grow fast and the magic of such a time of year is something I want to soak up while I can (the children not the bloggers).

This leads me on effortlessly to my featured blogger this week; Mummy here and there. Sam is an honest and loyal mummy who puts pen to paper ( brain to keyboard) to give us little insights in to her world as a Mum and much more. This week Sam wrote about self care activities for December, here’s a link to all of her wonderful ideas. I can say enough how much I personally love this time of year but am also hugely aware that many families find this period of time hard financially, emotionally and well…just hard. I’m always astonished at how a small amount of ‘me time’ can have such a huge effect on my mental wellbeing and in turn the people around me. Therefore picking this post was a no brainer.

Hayley as always has also selected her featured blogger and you can click here to see who she has selected (it’s a good one).

So, before you link up I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has joined us over the year. I’ve learnt so much from the linky, read so many talented pieces and truly wish you all a wonderful new year.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

The Saturday session 47

Welcome to another lovely linky weekend, I hope you’re celebrating with some relaxing, getting jobs done and of course reading the amazing posts spread all over #thesatsesh linky with love. Thanks for taking the time to comment and learn from the variety of bloggers that join us.

My featured blogger this week wrote about something I feel passionately about – self care. I am currently typing with wet painted nails as that was my treat today. Every day in my house I make time for me, to fill that cup up and I can’t tell you how much is makes me a better human. I really would love to erase the perception that self love is egotistical and caring for yourself is selfish. So, the lovely Mrs B wrote this awesome post and reminded me how much I love standing on grass with my bare feet. Seriously, if the grass is warm its heaven, way nicer than sand. Like Mrs B, I like to light candles (currently got an incense stick on the go) and don’t think self care has to cost a fortune – although I’m hoping she’ll take me to a spa soon *hint hint, either way Mrs B is a talented writer and deserves recognition for this heart felt post.

Hayley, my cohost also picked another talented blogger – click here to see who won her heart. Or, just go over the rules to the linky and click the blue box at the bottom of the rules to join this weeks #thesatsesh

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on one of each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Start your day with a dance party

Quote Anon wearing sparkly shoes

I have a morning routine that I do before my day begins, you can read about it here. If you do nothing for yourself ever again, I suggest you get one too. It makes my day start from a place of joy and if I didn’t have it in my life it would be like not having lungs.

After this the days demands capture me, throw me into a frenzy and at times I have to regain control with a mini mindful exercise. I think the ‘your day’ in this quote is really important, we can blame others when they interrupt our flow, make excuses but really it’s how we deal with life’s negatives and how long we hold on to them that guides our lives.

Emotions are complex, the extremes are often lifted for me with a dance to a song that makes me smile. I crank it up and dance like I’m on stage in a huge concert hall. The boys run for cover – this mummy can’t sing BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP ME. I find night club classics from my clubbing days are a great way to begin, then I move on to anthems. The concert in my bedroom, lounge or kitchen goes on until I’m ready to take on the world…which reminds me The Guardians of the Galaxy sounds tracks are also amazing for mood shifting.

Sometimes I listen through headphones for a personal party effect but mainly I like to contaminate the house with my moves and boom the music as loud as it can go. I’ve also been known to find a musical soundtrack on Spotify and work my way through the numbers…always with random lines from various characters delivered in perfect time. My son sometimes comes in for a strut, but mainly I’m a solo act.

Why? Well I do have a drama degree, but I actually think I dance because physically moving helps those endorphins to buzz around, lifts the soul, its free and guess what – it works.

If you have never danced in the mirror, thrown yourself down the stairs like a Hollywood diva in the last few weeks then I have one piece of advice. Do it. Dancing isn’t for those that can, Shakira was right – the hips don’t lie. Kelis finds milk shades and boys in her yard, Beyoncé runs the world and Tina Turner is simply the best and looking great on each and every roll down the river. So what are you waiting for? Solo dance through the week and watch the changes that happen to your mood, body and vibration.

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going to the circus.

This is SUCH a good quote and I can’t find out who its by? Confirming once again that Anon rocks.

So often I find myself at the circus. This week I went to soft play with my son. For those without children this is the equivalent of a Saturday night drunken brawl with squidgy walls, but ultimately bodily functions are everywhere and beige food is often consumed – its my hell. However, it was raining and I was meeting my gorgeous zen friend and her little spirited soul.

Our boys were playing beautifully and we were chatting about lovely things, when a clown from the table behind us started hollering that her child (*who was way too big for soft play) had been scratched on the face – she began to cause a scene that would be suitable for a soap opera, the mother of the accused ‘scratcher child’ retaliated. The clown’s had taken the spotlight – it was unpleasant and cringe worthy. The clowns made me sad (clowns can do this) because their children were lapping it up next to them, absorbing the negativity, energised and enjoying every moment. The clowns pointed at each other, spoke unsuitable words, demanded refunds and I realised I was at the circus.

Despite the clowns in this example leaving, we also chose to leave the circus, the rain had stopped and we went to a beautiful empty park surrounded by mother natures calmness. *Note to self, always pack wellies and avoid soft play.

Sometimes in places of work you can find yourself surrounded by clowns, you can even end up slipping in to a costume yourself, but my other favourite circus to avoid are supermarket carparks. I’m not sure why, but in supermarket carparks clowns frequent by pulling out without looking in some sort of slapstick manner. Clowns drive at ridiculous speeds and without caution, escaping trolleys add to the mayhem and shopping bags exploding increases the intense environment of the circus. For this reason, I shop online.

Should you stumble upon a clown performing, my advice is simple – walk away, breath and remember, nobody can force you to buy a ticket. Just like everything in this universe, we always have a choice. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we do, you can feel like the circus tent is collapsing around you, but there are exit signs if you choose to see them. They come in the shape of friends, loved ones, new opportunities and deciding what you want by listening to your instinct.

However, once in a while a ticket to the circus can be highly entertaining, as long as you remember to stay in your seat.

A key to success is to start before you’re ready

Quote by Marie Forleo

I’m not sure I really need to write any more than the quote already states, but then what would be the point in owning this domain?

For several years I ran a project for GCSE pupils at my school, they were at risk of not getting the grades the government desires. It was based on the seven principles of success, each fortnight I’d do a mini assembly based on one of the principles for them, set them a task and they would collect signatures in their booklets for completing the task – extra certificates etc along the way.

Guess what. It worked. Guess why? They didn’t over think the mountain in front of them…in small challenges, in small achievable time frames, they blossomed. I took the project over from one of my managers who left during the projects first year. Each pupil also had a mentor to cheer them on, plus me as head cheerleader.

I think if you look at a mountain it seems unachievable, I’m thinking of the mountain of washing permanently in my home but load by load, sock by sock it gets done.

However, this post isn’t about taking small steps – it about not thinking and taking ONE step. Anxiety is prevalent in our society, we are creating children that are even more anxious, lack resilience and have spent most of their life, if not all of it bubble wrapped – I totally get why but to succeed there has to be some action, motion and movement towards the end goal.

When I look back on the years gone by, I don’t want to not have tried to achieve my dreams. However, dreams (well mine anyway) are often huge task, big lifestyle changes and they feel so distant I often don’t know where to start, if I’m honest I’ll never be ready to take huge leaps but I can do something.

I probably keep my own motion going by breaking down larger goal into smaller tasks, so below I’ve listed a few small things that have worked for me.

  • Eat healthier – swap white to brown rice
  • Exercise more – find a five minute YouTube exercise class and just do it
  • Read more – swap the apps on my phone for a 15minute reading session
  • Bake more – add the ingredients to my next shop

What actions have you found have helped you climb your mountain?

We see what we want

Quote by Lauren Miller

Today I woke up and I did my morning routine. Its been a routine for a couple of months now and it took a while to get going as I thought only single twenty something youtubers could have them, but also I needed to stop making excuses like my son will interrupt me or I’ve got to much to do, I guess like the quote suggests I needed to see what I wanted.

I go downstairs and make a cup of alkali tea. I return to bed to meditate and then I write in my gratitude journal and set my intention out underneath, whilst sipping my tea.

It works for me. It means I’m in control of my day and since doing this I’ve noticed that I accomplish my intentions for the previous day and that makes me feel good. In total it takes about 25mins from kettle boil to journal and at 5yrs old I’ve taught my son not to disturb me if my earphones are in (I use a guided meditation in the Morning) sometimes he quietly snuggles next to me and sometimes he forgets the rules about earphones and wants to listen too or is excited about telling me about his latest crocodile dream. That’s okay too…

Do you have a morning routine? Mine took a while to come together, it needed to be simple and one that could be interrupted by family life. For example when I went down to make my tea this morning, little dude asked for his breakfast a little earlier. So I made his food at the same time as my cuppa. Ease and flow help me to accomplish my routine, whilst also not over complicating my morning.

I set intentions because life is too precious not to accomplish something every day. Sometimes they are about work, family, my blog, self love or well…anything. The other day me and the little dude had a rare day together, so my intention was simply to stay present and focus on him. I may have focused too hard as the little monster snuck off in the afternoon for a nap because I’d wore him out.

Do you set intentions and have a morning routine? It really helps me to see what we want…or are you too busy to see?

Jar Moments

There are many things we have to teach our little humans, from taking their first steps to the glamour and delights of wiping bottoms, my son still insists that having his bottom behind him is a design fault (as he can’t see it).

Over the Summer holidays I have created ‘Jar Moments’ and have taken several ideas from the web of joy to hopefully teach my son to spread love, be grateful and for him to experience appreciation with a sprinkle of happiness. If you have a little dude or dudet, or even a gaggle of dudes then feel free to join in. My ideas initially came from Jacqueline from Go to Mindfulness who was a featured blogger on #thesatsesh, click the link and you’ll see that in the jar I’ve added some of her inner child ideas. I also used good old pinterest to find some ‘random acts of kindness’ (although its always made me wonder how random a planned jar of activities can actually be?) then I added a few of my own. J isn’t keen on writing and at the grand old age of 5 years and with a teacher for a Mummy if I can sneak in some pencil time then its an added bonus.

However, we’ve actually been doing ‘Jar moments’ for a while and I didn’t set it up as ‘something for my blog’ but friends have asked if they can join in, so I thought I’d take some time to type it up. I’ll be sharing all of our ideas via the hashtag #jarmoments so feel free to follow me on Facebook to see what the latest note out of the jar is, my Facebook page is @whatmyfridgesays of course you can just do the odd note or even create your own jar. I’m using Facebook as a platform as I think it may get lost on Instagram and I also need to show my Fb page a little more love.

Instruction wise the Jar is simple; you simple unscrew the jar (Gratitude goes to Nanny for providing the jar) and pick out a note. You then have 48 hours to complete the task. I gave us this time as I didn’t want it to become a burden on planned days out that we have during the summer holidays.  Once the task is complete and you’ve returned home, pick another to see what adventure the next forty eight hours holds.

You’ll notice that none of the activities cost any money. I really believe that showing love, gratitude and experiencing happiness always comes from the most simple tasks.

I should probably add that you also don’t need a mini dude to play along – why not create a jar for adult self.

I hope you enjoy #Jarmoments and if you do get involved please let me know by sharing pictures, stories and moments. The more love we can throw out in to the world the better.