gratitude

Where focus goes energy flows

~ Fridgesays ~ 17 Comments

Quote by Tony Robbins

Every now and then I write because I feel like I can’t breathe if I don’t let my fingers dance across the key board. This blog, my corner of the internet is something I’m so proud of. I’ve tinkered with various platforms over the years, but always in collaboration with others. This space is about being authentic to creating my very own brand, and within the words of its contents often lays my soul. This years blog goal came when I was walking the dog, I knew I was getting comfortable and needed to ‘step up’ my energy, the flowing result was my weekend linky with a wonderful blogging friend Hayley. The next step is even bigger and not yet fully defined, but 2018 will sparkle for whatmyfridgesays.

A few months a go, I set a goal – to love my house. It has never been love at first sight, it was more ‘it will do’, it made me sad and I can’t explain why but since moving in here in 2010 its been a struggle. One of the biggest issues that I had was my utter hatred for my kitchen (first world problems perhaps) I love to cook, every Christmas I would be in a space that made me sad and didn’t reflect the joy I poured into my food. I had a vision that I would never cook a Christmas meal in that space again. With a combination of struggle, a blessed cheque from parents, my own savings and squirrelling like a jar of Nutella, I can finally type that we are sooooo nearly there. The tradesmen have taken their tools and dusty boots and despite the fact that every square inch of our home is dusty and in need of a deep clean, my kitchen is shaping up to be just how I imagined it could sparkle. I’m very grateful to family and friends who have helped up to get to this stage, sometimes it takes a tribe to build a home. On a personal note I can honestly say that I’m beginning to see love reflected within the walls of our house, I guess sometimes like human relationships, love is complex. However, I also know that my energy and focus has been directed to this very goal.

I hold another dream for my son. I want to show him as much of the world as possible, to create memories and experiences – not things. Over the next few months we have planned and saved to provide him with some wonderful moments and I can’t wait to stand next to him and see it through his eyes. You don’t get second chances with children, they are only little for such a small amount of time before they fly the nest. I want the reflections of his nest to be full of love, memories and enriching experiences, not ‘should haves and buts’. I’m a true believer that if you can think it you can make it happen, that excuses are convenient diversions and that as I walk into 2018 I feel very accomplished.

Of course, now I fully understand the power of my energy, my thoughts and my flow, the outcome and goals for 2018 promise to be even sparklier, through the last month of 2017 I plan to write in my gratitude diary (as I always do) but I also plan to make the year ahead even better, even sparklier and full of as much laughter as possible. What are your plans for the year ahead?

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Anon

Despite the fact it’s still November consumerism seems to be taking hold of the nation/globe following Black Friday…the Friday sale that lasts a fortnight. Christmas chatter has taken over many blog posts and is the topic of conversation in our staffroom. Panic sweeps the nation. And I stay firm. I will not get swept into a frenzy on what I’m doing, got to do or who I haven’t bought for (the answer is nobody yet). There is plenty of time. However, I adore Christmas and refuse for it to become a burden. I stand firm in a smile. When asked how I feel about ‘all the catering’ I reply with a smile and say it’s an honour to have family to feed. I am not a saint but I know one thing to be true. Being happy really does drive other people  nuts. “Ohhh I don’t know how you can be so relaxed, I ordered the Turkey in June” hehe…yup and I was busy enjoying the start of summer.

It also means that for the people I dislike, hate and wish would disappear I increase my sparkle, smiles and graces – why? Because it pisses them off and reflects the stress and chaos back at them. I will not absorb negativity from them. It’s my super power and a skill that you should consider as a New Years resolution – forget weight loss, make 2018 the year you choose to be happy.

I choose happy because it makes me happy, it makes others happy and it’s contagious.

Christmas Day will come and go whether I stress or not. The dust will gather again from the moment I flick the duster, the bills will get paid and all those tasks on the ‘to do list’ will eventually be over taken with other tasks and thousands of other ‘to do lists’ but for now I am blissfully happy drinking a hot cup of tea after an intense yoga session, and for now and for always ‘I choose happy’ (and tea) (same thing)

Have you ever picked positivity as a power to piss others off?

Example is Leadership #1 The old man at the bus stop

~ Fridgesays ~ 29 Comments

A new series with an Introduction to click and read which will hopefully clarify why I am writing about my role models.

I probably should begin with a superstar or a more relatable character, I should also probably have picked someone in my own life who’s name I can recall…alas I have always been a limited edition crayon in the box and have decided to pick The man at the bus stop.

It was around 1998-1999 and I was studying for my A levels, I usually caught a lift with a friend of mine who was on similar courses to me, however as luck would have it there were a couple of occasions when our timetables didn’t synchronise and I would have to get the bus alone. The late nineties were also a time when the walkman was dead, the iPod not yet invented and the mobile phone was a brick…so I usually had on me my CD player for company (for some reason electric devices make us humans feel less alone?), now the CD player for your ‘on the go’ listening needs was, well also crap and you had to hold the player flat so the CD could spin around without skipping. At the bus stop was an old man and he made a joke about my CD player and the fact that it was frustrating me. Raised well, I promptly placed the crap device in my ‘record bag’ (oh the irony) and chatted to him. He explained that he was getting the same bus as me, as on a Thursday he always went to the local day centre. He gets fed for a fiver and basically loves attention from all the ladies. He lived in the elderly peoples home opposite the bus stop and over the coming weeks I would look forward to our chats. At the time I did know his name and he would greet me with “Good morning, I love Lucy” a reference to a black and white American sitcom that I vaguely knew of. We would jump on the bus together and he would chat about what he had been up to and which ‘young’ lady he was hoping to sit next to that day at the day centre. It was during these chats that he would often apologise that he wouldn’t be at the bus stop because of one commitment or another, often it was due to travel – he loved cruises and would come back a week or so later with a tan to die for and tell me about all the ladies he had danced with, the cuisine he had tasted (always better than the food in the retirement home) and the places he had seen. He was a gentleman and a dapper dresser, he was in his late eighties and he taught me a valuable lesson, to never stop living or dancing. In contrast he would also tell me about all the ‘dead’ people that he had left behind in his care home, I wouldn’t always know how to react and he would make me laugh by saying something like ‘don’t worry they will still be asleep in the same chair when I get home”. I promised him that I would keep dancing and its a promise that I will keep until I’m as young as him.

He was also the first man to give me a regret, one that I have been able to let go of as I know he wouldn’t of minded.

The Birthday Bash

He invited me to his 90th birthday party and I didn’t go. I didn’t go because I was seventeen and too cool for my own good, I didn’t go because I thought my friends would think I was weird….I wish I had gone.

A few weeks after his ninetieth birthday he wasn’t at the bus stop. Nor the next week, I knew he wasn’t on a cruise as he would of told me and so I remember vividly speaking to my Mum about it. She advised that I pop into the home and ask if he was ill etc. I knew from our bus jaunts that he was widowed and didn’t have any children / family. I 100% planned to take my Mums advice – seriously if that woman says ‘take a coat’ you know a tsunami is going to hit London, however on the morning that I had planned to ‘pop over’ I noticed his window had altered. The once beige curtains were floral and a vase sat in the centre of the window sill. I didn’t need to ask.

I will always smile when I see a man in freshly polished brogues and I will never forget the wisdom and life he maintained until our last stop together.

 

 

 

The Saturday Sesh #6

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

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As we wave good bye to September and embrace the colder nights of October, it is with a warm embrace that I say thank you for joining our community of awesomeness and joy. This week I thought I’d start with a sprinkle of gratitude, giving thank’s for a sprinkle of self love and the benefits of making time to chill (in what was a crazy week of meetings and events), managing the demands of the world don’t get any easier, but I’m getting better at prioritising and also making time to ground myself. I hope you made some ‘you’ time also.

Every week myself and Hayley pick a featured blogger each from all #thesatsesh members who have linked up with us in the previous link, as I’m still having coding issues, it is with great Pleasure that I’d like to ask Lisa to click here to collect her badge – in fact why don’t you all press the link and see who Hayley has picked. Ops, I gave mine away 🙂 This week I really enjoyed reading the passion behind Lisa Pomerantzster’s Post on Edie Windsor’s sad passing, but clearly the love and respect Lisa has for her as an icon. I picked the piece as I adore learning and didn’t know enough about this remarkable lady (now I do), but mostly as previously mentioned I felt the love in Lisa’s words. It also made me reflect on who my icons are?

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So lets get this new weeks linky going, here are a few rules, so please don’t link and run, its not cool and its not what #thesatsesh is about. As always if you need help or advice please let us know my emailing here and we will reply ASAP.

RULES:

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add the #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on ONE of each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but four is plenty. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep you up to date and follow you back.

What My Fridge Says
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You gotta nourish to flourish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Every now and then I see a quote and it lights my universe. 

At the moment I am planning kitchen renovations and I wouldn’t mind this little quote hanging somewhere? Food for thought (See what I did there)

Nourish according to the dictionary means ‘to provide food or the opportunities for people to grow and be in good condition’ 

If I’m honest when I see the word nourish I think of food, but what else do we need?

Self belief: if you can dream it, then you can make it happen. This is essential not just to be able to flourish but to be able to sustain any kind of growth (and that includes happiness) 

Drive and desire: these are easy to have and harder to actually make happen. Usually because they require us to get out of our comfort zone and perhaps even take a risk or two. I’ve found since becoming a parent that often the risk is scarier because of my son. However, surely the dream is always ultimately the better finish line for him to see me arrive at?

Tribe: a good family, neighbours, work colleagues and friends all help to make a little ‘you’ community. When the chips are down, don’t panic – team ‘you’ will be there like a giant pillow of love and comfort – looking around and it’s a bit sparse, no problem, sometimes the harder moments let us know which team members require demotion. 

Wellbeing: be it physical or mental you need to make your health number one. Balance is key to this; I’ve written thousands of posts on the issue so for more info read everything I’ve ever written, pretty much – give or take a gratitude post, oh…

Gratitude: a sprinkle of thanks and a piece of humble pie can not only make you a favourite amongst your tribe but you’ll find you manifest and receive even more than you thought possible…seriously Beyoncé and all the big divas are always thanking the people that surround them. 

P.s. Not such a big diva as Queen B but thanks for reading and I hope you leave a little more nourished. If not, what area do you need to step it up in? 

Rock bottom has created more heroes than privilege

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Anon.

Rock bottom is a place I have been within my own journey and not one id like to visit again any time soon. The great thing about us as individuals is that everybody’s rocks are at varied levels, like a metamorphic rock; some of us are granite and have experienced challenge following grief, others are more slate and have been homeless, broken hearted may be a layer of Anthracite and within the stages of rock making much like humans there are thousands of layers.

There is one huge positive about your individual layer of rock bottom…things can only get better. It may sound obvious and perhaps patronising but there is also a delight in knowing that however bad your today is, tomorrow will be better simply because it can’t get any worse. The real issue is seeing that in the bleak depths of rock bottom.

Gratitude is a way to raise your current reality. Appreciating what you do have, rather than wallowing in what you don’t is a hard but necessary step in raising your vibration (one thats easier said than done) when life throws you a new level of rock bottom you didn’t know existed.

I also have a huge amount of respect for individuals who are now considered great within our history books and came from rock bottom.

  • Oprah Winfrey came from poverty and is now the richest billionaire black woman of our times.
  • Celine Deon was the youngest of 14 children (ouch) and grew up with very little, she now is worth around $400 Million.
  • Jim Carrey when young was made homeless and his family lived in a van…he now makes $20 million per film and is well known for his upbeat and grateful vibes and of course his humour.
  • Jay Z grew up in poverty and around crime – he even shot his own brother aged 12. From crime came a hungry talent that values the rapper at around $550 million

Of course it isn’t always about money. Many people grew up without love and experience  fantastic relationships in their adult life or have rock bottoms that involve other ‘lacks’ and find them as they age.

Privilege however doesn’t seem to have the hunger to do well that poverty and a lacking nature can offer. There are many aristocratic families within the UK that achieve very little for their families wealth or persona. Not great news for the ‘Made in Chelsea’ crew; although none of them seem to be falling on hard times just yet.

However, I believe that the real essence of this quote is about hope. This little four letter word is crucial to anyone wishing to have a better tomorrow. Hope has fed thousands and continues to do so across the globe daily. Hope usually manifests itself in small amounts, much like a seed. It doesn’t require much to nourish it to the next level – a few drops of water and some sunlight and great things begin to happen. As a stalk appears abundance can expands and from one small seed with very little life can come a wonder of blossoms, beauty, nectar and nutrition.

So if you are at rock bottom, I offer you a seed of hope and with a few small actions or risks can come the motion towards a life you use to dream…plus its cold and wet at rock bottom, what have you got to lose?

Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Dale Carnegie

As a teacher, at the beginning of new terms or even on a Sunday evenings getting the ‘fear’ is not uncommon. Something about standing on the edge of a new week can seem rather daunting. For some, it means another week of demands, overwhelming task and the race of life – chasing that never ending ‘to-do’ list. Of course the ‘fear’ isn’t just a teacher or student concept – the ‘fear’ is inclusive to the entire human race. Sadly.

During exam periods I always encourage my pupils to books several big events during the revision / exam period – it gives a positive focus to what can seem like a never ending carousel of post-its, essay practise, and highlighting sentences. This year one of my high anxiety pupils booked a concert, a meal with friends (no revision cards allowed) and her Mum booked her a ‘surprise weekend’ which turned out to be some well needed family time at Centre Parks.

When I first became a Mummy on maternity leave I realised that I would quickly need a similar recipe for success and sanity. Money was an issue, so instead I treated myself to smaller treats like ‘posh teas’ and made sure I had time to drink them hot (oh the luxury). I used cooing visitors or close family to have bubble baths and silly treats of time mainly to straighten my hair, paint my nails or frankly just sit alone with a book or just to daze out of the window. I guess in some respect this post is a similar message to my last post found here, which is about prioritising yourself.

However, this week I want to take that message one step further – to creating moments of joy in the humdrum of life. To planning family time that units all members and to crucially prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.

If you look at many of the people winning at life, from Oprah to Louise Haye meditation is key to their mental well being and subsequent happiness and success. I recently embarked on an 8 week mindfulness course. Many of the aspects of the course I found unhelpful – either because I already do them or chewing a raisin for twenty minutes just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. I signed up for the course because I was keen to increase and perfect my meditation practise. My instructor gave us a CD full of mediations of different time spans and contents, but I have always found youtube to be an awesome source of led meditation (if thats your thing). I have a few favourites that motivate, chill or empty my mind. During the course I was foolishly waiting for the moment when I had perfected my meditation process and could leave proudly announcing to the world that ‘I can meditate’ and hold my certificate proudly…only to discover that its a daily working progress and you can’t actually meditate incorrectly. In essence for non-meditating readers; you focus on your breathe and try to stop your mind from wondering off…at the start its a little bit like supermarket shopping with a toddler, with practise you learn that online shopping is best for all and that popping in to Waitrose for some milk and bread is your maximum capacity. You become comfortable in your own skin, head and letting go seems to flow much easier. What they don’t warn you is that is highly addictive and the sense of well being that it can give you is exactly the same as when your child reaches the age where you can monthly shop with them and ACTUALLY enjoy their company.

If you have never tried it – you’re wrong. Ive never met anyone who hasn’t driven somewhere like on a daily commute to work and upon arrival can’t remember the journey. Or perhaps read a book and become so enthralled in the characters and plot that you’ve lost track of time, although not ‘strictly’ meditation these events are extremely similar. Escaping your current reality and the demands of the world and freeing your mind – even just for a few minutes.

The evidence for this practise is abundant and a quick google will put any logical mind at ease. However, if you are someone that resonates with the quote above about worry dominating your life, or perhaps every now and then anxiety pops around for an unexpected cuppa and stays way too long, or you just can’t remember when you last enjoyed the now, the today and the present and instead your mind is busy analysing the ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow, then I promise making a few minutes before you fall asleep and listening to a guided meditation will be the best gift you gave yourself.


 

Lovely things #11

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

In essence I use lovely things to note down what I enjoyed the previous month. Reading back over the previous ten I’m always surprised at how simple the things I’ve enjoyed are juxtaposed with how blooming hard life feels all to frequently. 

June was kind to the soul and tough on the wellies. But before I discuss the weather, true gratitude was the essence of the month.

1. Puppy love

My ‘in laws’ got a new Labrador puppy and we were blessed to have her for an afternoon / early evening as they were out. The family are using the crate method and so she is usually at home in her crate…not at our house. She cried and wailed like we were putting pins into her, as I went to pick her up (I’m weak when it comes to fur balls), there was my son as close to the cage as possible ‘reading’ to her . My mummy heart wept. Perhaps we aren’t flying through potty training, swimming like a dolphin in our local pool every weekend and just may be getting him to peddle a bike is pushing my patience to the extreme; but that little lad is kind and you can teach ‘soul’

2. Gratitude:

As a teacher months can go by without a thank you or a whisper of gratitude. However, despite the teenager shyness when it comes to showing appreciation, June provided me with several bouquets , cards and even a box of choccies. It was a huge learning curve for me to except them humbly rather than awkward or like a compliment I didn’t deserve. A huge thank you to June for reminding me to accept, smile  and enjoy a compliment rather than push it to the side with a “oh this old dress”

3. Rain

I told you I’d have to make some kind of remark. The rain flowed, thundered and at times felt it might drown my soul, so why mention it on lovely things? Because after so much of the wet stuff I embraced it, I shopped online for a rain coat, walked the dog in it laughing, I jumped in a puddle and sure I moaned from time to time, but if anything British summer time and any square inch of blue sky is richer for    the abundance of water we have experienced in the last four weeks.

Splashing and splodging through June has made me realise it was a little bleak but also held so much love and even fun. We even took my son to the cinema for the first time and he loved ‘the big tele’, my Dad had an operation on his eye and things are ‘looking’ positive. So what if it rained a little, it did the grass good 🙂

I followed my heart…

~ Fridgesays ~ 8 Comments


Quote by Bill Murray.

Let’s face it good things come from the fridge…vitamins from the fruit and veg, calcium from the yoghurt and milk…I personally keep my ketchup in there and love the stuff. Did someone mention fizz – part of my moral compass for sometime has always been to have a bottle of presecco or champers in the fridge too, you never know when you may need to toast an exciting moment with someone, or drown your sorrows.

Warning: this blog is likely to be slightly slushy

I guess I really want to have a conversation with my blog, so here goes.

Dear Fridge,

So we started off as you can read in my intro Opening the fridge door by simply a growing love of positive vibes, quotes and a pipe dream for a motivational blog. Nearly a year on in blog land and we have had a ball, learnt a lot and you’ve become the best hobby ever (although this is because I have the attention span of a gnat, so the very fact you are still rocking is a miracle).

We got over the techno widgets together and we’ve been selective on the linkys we use…for heavens sake, we even know what a linky is and how to use them.

We love the blogging community…mostly; some are a little aggressive, bossy and there is a culture that recently formed where writing about your kids in an insulting manner or generally highlighting the mummy fails is popular (we stay clear, mainly as it isn’t positive) a side note: this doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect or have daily parent fails – I do, I simply chose not to share them with the world).

I need to say a huge thank you, you’ve given me a creative outlet that I’ve been missing since life got serious. You are patient too, when I don’t feel like posting…I don’t, although I aim to 2-3 times a week, I know that the world won’t stop if I don’t write anything and sometimes ‘not writing’ can be just as satisfying.

You also record my voice, freedom of speech or in this case typing is important to me. (I’ll probably cringe when I look back at some of the things I’ve written / there is a reason most of my diaries have been destroyed)

img_3565You also make my actual fridge come alive, he is a big beast and somehow blogging softens him and in my eyes gives him a greater meaning to life, although he also keeps food cool, frozen and makes ice; you could say my fridge is a multi tasking cool wizard.

What I’m saying is…thank you, I love our adventures, the people we have met and the places that we travel (mainly in my imagination – but hey you facilitate this), so although it’s not quite a year I will open some fizz to this little internet haven in your honour.

Love Lucy


 

Sensory #7 messy stuff 

~ Fridgesays ~ 9 Comments

I have a love for play-doh; it’s the smell, the texture and all the wonderful memories that float back into my mind – it’s was the 80s so squishing play-doh through plastic heads and playing hairdressers was all the rage. I can even remember where my Mum kept the play-doh and all of the paraphernalia that went with it, so when my friend sent me the pictures below of her son using one of my sensory ideas (and making it blooming better may I add, by adding the backdrop) I was rather touched, plus how cute is this kids hair!


 If you missed the play dough monsters take a look at Sensory #3 and give it a go, since J and I originally did it, we’ve probably played with pasta and dough a hundred times.

I’m learning that blogging opens up a new world of friendships and links 🙂 and I’m liking that a lot. Blogging has given me a doorway to not only express myself and my thoughts, but in return created invisible doorways to friendships and new like minded people – so thank you for being part of the journey.

Now the messy stuff.

I gave J the following ingredients:

  • A tray
  • A little jug of water
  • Several large tablespoons of corn flour
  • Wooden spoon
  • A spoonful of rice
  • Some food colouring

(Oh and a tea towel for the tables protection)

I then stood back…and to my surprise he got stuck in.

In terms of a craft / we were left with a sticky watery mess, not really to be desired? In terms of a sensory delight, it was magical!

 The rice gave the mixture which J described as ‘crunch’, he obviously added the water zealously and therefore it was a thin consistency, surprisingly it also all stayed in the tray (Mummy bonus) and with me sat next to him he told me he was cooking and the dialogue was really lovely.

 Sadly I didn’t take any pictures from when he added food colouring but the swirls were pretty awesome.

With older monsters you could defiantly write letters, numbers or words and then ‘mix them out’ but for us little monsters mixing and getting our hands in the concoction was enough.

I do love the magic of cornflour. After my first love, play-doh ohhhh and sequins!

Do you have any cornflour sensory ideas? If so, please share!

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