Zoe’s Christmas wish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 12 Comments

I hope the festive season is all that you hoped for, that santa was kind and loved ones (where possible) were near. I have a story that I’d like to share, it’s my interpretation of what Christmas means and it doesn’t involve a Mary, or a donkey – it does however involve an awesome thirteen year old called Zoe and some light up Polar Bears. 

Let’s set the scene…it’s mid December and just before the real FC jumps in his sleigh and works some serious overtime the wonderful local Lions charity come around our village with a santa representative on a sleigh (back of a van) with loud music, lights and elves that collect change but also give the children gifts. Last year my little man adored it but sadly for all sorts of reasons the event wasn’t happening this year. 

Enter the heroine of this story, Zoe. I’ve never met Zoe but I have read Facebook messages from her mum on our village page. Zoe has the gift of Autism which means traditions are sacred to her daily structure and the Lions charity event formed part of her Christmas preparations. However it wasn’t the disruption to herself that was the cause of her angst, she was devastated that the children in our village would miss out…

In her words: ‘the children won’t get flutterbys (excited) if santa doesn’t come or give an early present. Mummy can we make a grotto in our garden? I will buy the presents myself with my pocket money and the children can come here to get flutterbys…I don’t want the children to be sad.’

Zoe took her own pocket money and bought lots of toys, she wrapped them and then a few days before Christmas, she (via her Mum on the Facebook page) invited the children of the village to her front garden, lights ( some seriously cute polar bears), sweets and a gifts were on offer and best of all (in my little mans eyes) a snow machine. 

Her Mum mean while was worried that nobody would attend. We did and so did many others. Unfortunately we arrived too early to meet Zoe as she was overwhelmed by the people and the noises and stayed in her room, popping in and out when she could. For Zoe the event that was a few hours in length caused sleepless nights and an abundance of anxiety. However, an update on the Facebook site later that evening thanking everyone for coming and mentioned that she did come down, stayed and even spoke to some people. That’s seriously courageous. 

I’m blessed to work with teenagers aged eleven to sixteen and they often have a bad reputation. I’ve also worked with Autistic children for most of my working life. The behaviour issues and negativity of the condition are well known rather than the potential they offer. At a time when people are consumed by wants and desires;  Zoe made the choice to give to complete strangers, she has taught my family about love, compassion and giving which is what the season is really about, isn’t it? 

The event also meant that Zoe had to defeat the constraints that Autism can have in order to be part of the event, she was resilient and in my  opinion brave. For one evening she over came the fear, the sensory overload and she won. She won my heart and she taught me and my son the true meaning of Christmas. 

*Thank you to Zoe and her Mum for letting me share this tale with you all. 

Storms don’t last forever 

~ Fridgesays ~ 36 Comments

Quote by Niels Geusebroek 

A new year is coming (fast)

Hope of a new year, resolutions and a fresh beginning are all something we need every now and then. 

Perhaps much like the celebrity and idol massacre of 2016 you haven’t enjoyed this year. For myself it’s been kind, but not a stand out year that I’ll always look back on…way better than 2015 though – that was dull. 

I always think that years are much like the weather system with a personal overview of hailstones or patchy clouds and bursts of sunlight. 

Storms can play a part. We have all had stormy events that hit our families, leaving devastation and carnage in their wake. You never know when a storm may hit either, I find that Mother Nature can hurl a tsunami at the most beautiful sunny beach without much warning…life can also come in waves of destruction when you least expect it. Much like the weather system a storm moves on and so do negative people, horrendous event and death. 

We live near a beautiful woods, there are still trees rotting from the storm of 1987 (a little tot at 5 years old I remember my Dad having to hold me down from ‘doing a’ Mary Poppins across my school playground) and it made me think…when an event much like a storm hits our lives, sure we move on (like the quote suggests) but we are richer for the experience, much like the soil under the trees destroyed by the storm, or we rot like the tree trunk – never to transform through the seasons or reach new heights.

The vast weather elements allow us to experience contrast, and I for one enjoy my sunny days of carefree blue skies that little more for knowing how wet shoes and damp hair (which in my case equals huge amounts of frizz) can feel. Like a tall tree that finds itself in a huddle on the Forest floor after the impact of a hurricane it wears its experience well, a new place to hide, or perhaps it supports moss and plant life…sure not the tall and elegant tree it once was, but like us it can still be beautiful after its experience – it’s simply a matter of perspective and growth.

With this in mind, I hope you have escaped any blustery winds in 2016 but should a storm hit you out of the blue in 2017 – emerge better, richer and fully in knowledge rather than allow the weather to consume you and of course love every glimpse of sun and joy you have the pleasure to experience. 


The little things x2

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

It was back in August that Kirsty swam into our lives, you may want to recap with a quick read by pressing here , she wasn’t exactly invited and her entrance made me go against one of the many “when I’m a parent I won’t do that” things, you see my son has always had muslins as comforters – to avoid the love and devotion being put on to one toy that could be lost (dam you Kirsty).

It turns out that Kirsty is named after one of my work friends; my son is a little bit in love with her and since the arrival of fish hat Kirsty we now have shark Kirsty, crocodile Kirsty and at times Kirsty even pops up during Star wars battles.

When I wrote the last article I probably thought that fish hat Kirsty wouldn’t be around for very long, my son has my attention span for objects and quickly moves on…but not with Kirsty.

Kirsty the hat fish came to Barbados with us. She stayed in the hotel suite during the day (the sun/sand combo doesn’t agree with her scaly complexion)  but was allowed out for evening meals, cocktails and dancing by the pool edge. If you think this sounds romantic then you’ve never holidays with a three year old, a time difference that makes keeping said three year old awake long enough to jam some food in his mouth a mission. Most evenings we had some small success, but mainly we were always the first to the buffet restaurant (where you don’t waste valuable minutes waiting for your waitress) and minutes later Daddy was carrying sleeping boy in his arms whilst I juggled as many cocktails as I could carry in stilettos behind them.


However, one night Kirsty joined us for ‘Beach Barbecue Night’ and some how we made it through a leisurely meal? The next night however was a new challenge…a screaming little man realised – Kirsty was gone. If as a parent your child has ever lost their favourite sleeping companion you’ll know that to say my heart was in my stomach doesn’t come close, add that he wasn’t in his own bed, a huge time difference and an awareness that we were disturbing the people in hotel rooms near us means I did what any logical parent would do: I launched operation ‘find Kirsty NOW’. My first stop was to the glamorous receptionist on the night desk..

Gorgeous receptionist: Hi Mam, how can I help you this evening?

Me (stressed Mum): Hi, yeah my son has lost his favourite toy, he won’t sleep without it.

GR: No worries, I can phone down to lost property for you.

Me: that would be amazing…

GR: what does the toy look like?(she picks up the phone and dials the security office)

Me: Its a giant red fish…well hat, yes its a big red fish hat.

GR: I’m sorry madame, did you say a fish hat?

Me: yes?

Needless to say I looked like an insane woman who had had one to many rum cocktails (if only) however the massive security guard who kindly returned Kirsty to my by then hyperventilating child was more confused and enquired where you even buy such an item. Obviously the wacky and innotative flying Tiger hasn’t hit the shores of the Carribean yet. All I cared about what that my son was pacified and sleep for all on the island looked more promising that night.

Since safely returning to the UK it has come to my attention that despite being in the clutches of my sons hands 24/7 Kirsty has some serious skills. She has swerved the washing machine on many occasions (it would seem despite being a fish Kirsty isn’t that keen on water), little dude has spent the last few weeks with a tummy bug – everything within a one hundred mile radius has had some sort of puke over it…but not Kirsty, during night time nappy weaning (yes we are free of those costly never going to bio degrade wads of wee) when beds have been changed at ridiculous o’clock – Kirsty lay untouched by liquid, how she does it i’ll never know.

He still wears her with pride, but mainly they play together and we are still not allowed to mention the word ‘hat’ near her. She is much more than an accessory, she is probably his first love. I have to say as a mother I had higher hopes for my son than a giant red fish, but I guess thats another lesson kirsty has taught us: love is blind.



 

The best ideas are common property.

~ Fridgesays ~ 44 Comments

Quote by Seneca

I have a blogging secret, as a rule breaker I’m obviously going to tell you and slam it over the World Wide Web. Blogging has made me realise that all my motivational posts are usually about the same four topics. I noticed it early in my blog life – seriously look back over my posts and you’ll see the same content just adjusted, tweeked and usually if I’m writing it has some crazy metaphor attached, Disney or a sprinkle of glitter over it. What are they?

1. Love – it’s all we actually accumulate, share and express everything else that humans have created from time to money is beyond useless and usually makes us feel crap. Love saves us, grounds us and if Father Christmas is reading this can be happily given to me in a size two UK Jimmy Choo at any point in the near futures (seriously FC don’t limit yourself to December)

2. On from love is a deeper and much more fulfilling love. Self love. The great thing about appreciating and loving yourself, recognising your worth is you reap the rewards every time. You stimulate self love in others, that then in turn comes back to you. It’s a win win and when we one day stop hating ourselves, wake up and realise this it will shake our planet for the better.

3.Perspective. Seriously when I get in a stress over the way Mr F folds the towels – I need some perspective , sometime out and obviously I need to refold the towel to ever be happy again. In this busy world we are constantly fighting for perspective, it gets eaten by society’s obsession with its ugly big sister stress and don’t even get me started on her twin anxiety…they take huge chunks out of perspective and sometimes all we need is five minutes to re-evaluate and reach for a lipgloss / cup of tea (or whatever it is that is your quick fix)

4. Balance. Like the siblings of perspective we all need to be much better at being balanced individuals; physically, emotionally, financially…the list is endless. Contrast let’s us know what we want and don’t want. Cake everyday will give us diabetes. Talking and not listening makes uneducated minds but balance allows contrast and this allows us to be content, to dream and to be happy in our present moment. It is a continuous game that we all play and I’m not very good at it at times either.

Why have I told this secret, well I guess I want you to know that Ive realised it myself but that I think there is value in constantly reminding ourselves of these key themes that enhance our lives and those we surround ourselves by. With my trusty and creative fridge we obviously have a soft spot for quotes, some people prefer podcasts, Vlogs, books – the list is endless.

BUT here is the really good bit, its common property, everyone with some editing and adjustment can be happier. All the good ideas are fusions and reinventions of old ideas. Very little is new and that gives me hope. It allows me to reach for the stars because if Sclub7 could – so can I. Sure we can sugar coat lives and complicate it to our taste and we should as that gives us choice and diversity – but remember when looking at for example your nutrition, you don’t necessarily need to stop eating any food groups, blend it, juice it or take it in tablet form – a balance of exercise, moderation and portion control will do the same. These key themes are so powerful for us all in reaching our potential, in allowing our children to thrive. So whilst I put the kettle on and have a five minute perspective analysis, what will be your next focus? Do you have any other key themes you think are essential to living positively, because after some thought happiness and health are all I can think of? The 4 themes above help us to move closer to those goals but I’d love to hear what has enhanced your world for the better. 


You can, end of story.

~ Fridgesays ~ 38 Comments

Quote from Anon…she is so busy writing quotes here, there and all over Pinterest.


Last week I witnessed yr11 pupils with a motivational teachers giving them the skills to revise. It was interactive and the speaker was a charismatic character of wonder. Looking around the room I was pleased with how many pupils were eating out of his hands and absorbing his top tips and pearls of wisdom…and then sadness hit, there were some who heard the word ‘revision’ ‘exams’ and turned off into a world of denial, self doubt and teenage misery. 

I wanted to shake them (didn’t, this is frowned on) and sprinkle some smiles and love over them. I wanted to say ‘you’re 15yrs old with this negative vibration life is going to be long, hard what have you got to lose by giving it a go’. Although I realise teenage-ism is a temporary disability that many adults have moved on from and achieved, it made me think.

It made me ponder on my power as a role model, both as a teacher and a mother. As a parent it’s a little harder if I’m honest, I have this inner desire to bubble wrap my bundle, to shield him from the dark, to scoop him up when he falls – even though I know I need to let him learn for himself, build resilience and stand back. (*sighs at the thought of not being able to do the above bubble wrapping process every moment of every day; and add a bow because presentation matters)

Building self esteem, resilience and faith in our children starts so soon after they enter the world, it’s a role models duty to emulate this…but how can we when doubt disability looms over adults just as much as the young?

After much analysis and a glass of wine I think I needed to remind myself that my son and my pupils need to see me succeed and fail. To learn from the fail, to get up, apologise where necessary and to try again. To admit that I’m scared, anxious or blooming terrified and to do it anyway. To let them see the process because fear is usually irrational, it blocks us and excuses us from moving forward. To watch me try, to leave my comfort zone, to not moan and be pleased with myself even when I didn’t get much out of the process. Most importantly and full of power I want my classes and my less bubble wrapped little man to see that I can. End of story. 


The Flower doesn’t dream…

~ Fridgesays ~ 47 Comments

Quote by Mark Nepo.

Do you believe in soul mates? I do.

I also think there are people that are right for you at a certain point in time, but like all good sweaters you can grow out of them and at times they can stretch and look far better on someone else. I’ve had my fair share of sweaters and now I have found my soul mate. Unlike Prince Charming or the Disney ‘forever’ he isn’t always adoring, doesn’t ever notice when I’ve had my highlights done and leaves the dirty plates on the side rather than in the dishwasher. I guess if he was my perfectly fitted sweater upon reflection he can be a little itchy and I struggle to get my head through the neck hole at times. You see a soul mate doesn’t mean perfect fit. For me it’s someone who excepts me, loves me and allows me to grow and develop, in turn we do that together.

How I found him is a yummy story,  much like the quote and the cliche, I wasn’t looking. I was bored of relationships and wanted to date. I could write a book on some of the terribly dull dates I went on. I even drew a stick man of perfection to focus finding my Mr.Forever. Colour coded and labelled what I was seeking, from physical attributes to personality and even a couple of materialistic musts. Meanwhile he had been my friend for several years and I came home, called him and would share how the dates had been from Mr S not cutting the mustard, how unintelligent the man from the bank had been and how speed dating was defiantly not made for me (I speed drank to entertain myself let’s leave it at that).

More importantly when we spoke we discussed other things, he was just as busy as me and dating was a small aspect of my life. Traveling with friends, enjoying the London night life and making memories was at the centre of my world. I went to the gym, took yoga courses and despite my stick man of perfection, I was busy living and oblivious to the potential soul mate sweater by my side. I think this was the key, well there was more of a bunch of keys…

  • I didn’t need someone to complete me, I was content in my own universe.
  • However, I had my vision on what I required (a list of things all my ex’s weren’t) and I wasn’t prepared to settle or make do. Please never settle, or let friends do the same – life is too short to pretend.
  • Much like the flower I was blossoming and that has a certain attraction. It attracts quality Bees or in my case, a rugged muscle physic an independent nature, a desire to travel and a level of spontaneity that means life is fun but that I don’t feel vulnerable…oh and he had air miles. 

I love hearing how couples have met, ours was in Barbados but I’ll save that for another day.

Whatever your current sweater situation, be it you have so many your drawers are brimming (see what I did there) or perhaps you threw out the jumper that made you miserable, gave it to charity and cut off all emotional ties…only to see it worn by a friend or perhaps it keeps returning with the kids every alternative weekend. Whatever your current relationship status, be it happy ever after or riding the waves together or even a single pringle attitude, remember to focus on you first, much like a single flower head, if its abundant in good nectar the best Bee will find it…but watch out for green flies.

Be a fountain, not a drain

~ Fridgesays ~ 24 Comments

Quote by Rex Hudler.Its 4pm on a Sunday afternoon and this quote reflects my current reality. On the precipice of a new week I became absorbed and overwhelmed with the lunches that needed packing, the shift patterns that required certain meals at certain times, meetings, child care and everything else in between…I felt blue and was just about to write my famous ‘endless to do’ list when a little fairy tapped me on the shoulder. She whispered in my ear – put the kettle on.

Not one to mess with fictional beings, I flicked the kettle and grabbed the nearest mug. “No” said the Fairy, and I knew in an instant she preferred to drink tea from a fine bone china cup. The tea was just the break I needed from being absorbed in to the drain of destruction.

For those of you that have never thought what being ‘drained’ meant, check out my quick google below

drain
dreɪn/
verb
1.cause the water or other liquid in (something) to run out, leaving it empty or dry
2. deprive of strength or vitality.
noun
1. a channel or pipe carrying off surplus liquid, especially rainwater or liquid waste
2. a thing that uses up a particular resource.

Now, I can’t write for everyone but I’m pretty sure whether verb or noun I don’t want to ever feel like a deprived, surplus, dry person who lacks vitality – especially not during my precious weekend time.
Thats when I realised the Fairy was right. Sure, there were things to consider, tasks to complete but they didn’t need to consume me, leave me feeling empty or overwhelmed. It was at this point I made the decision to be a fountain. To let the day flow with direction and with my current on course, but one that would give me pleasure and not overwhelm me.
We all have choices in every moment of this life time and I believe I am the happiest person that I know; with exception of babies that advertise Milk  – they are seriously happy and I could never compete with those gurgles of pure delight.
But I am happy because I choose to be, I look for the glass half full, I constantly analyse my mood, mind and direction. In recent months I have avoided certain people who drain me, I don’t watch the News because its blooming depressing and although current affairs interest me, I don’t wish it to be delivered directly in to my home in a manner that is distorted and the horror magnified. These choices may seem minor but they effect my mood and that in turn alters my vibrations.
I don’t always get it right, you’d be surprised how easy it is to become absorbed and attract negativity in to your life, to deviate from where you want to be, but a cup of tea is usually enough for me to turn my fountain back on and stop looking at what others have, what I lack or desire.
Therefore this week, and every week after it I challenge you to be aware of your mind, to choose to be happy and to avoid negative environments. If like me you are easily distracted and many people demand from you, I also recommend you approach this challenge with extra tea bags and the best cup you own (or use it as an excuse to buy a new one). Unfortunately, the Fairy is mine and I can’t loan her out. But listen hard enough and you’ll find we all have an inner voice that wants the best for you, every day.
img_0413img_4151

Your vibes attract your tribe 

~ Fridgesays ~ 39 Comments

Quote by the goddess Anon. 


Apparently if females retain a friendship for over seven years, they tend to keep it for life. This fact seems to be relevant to my friendship group, in fact I’ve often lost contact or walked away from unhealthy friendships just before the seven year itch. 

Jim Rohn has postulated that we are made up of the five people we socialise with the most…this worries me? Time wise I probably spend more time with work colleagues than my family and friends that I have chosen. Further research confirmed that if you are looking to climb the social ladder then just being with wealthy people can increase your income. 

For any dieters out there, the same goes for weight, health and literally any social trend. Of course there are always exceptions but in the main my friends are all vaguely clones of me – similar occupations, Social status, finance, hobbies and even lifestyle choices like choosing not to smoke. 

My vibe is much like my blog 75% positivity, 10% reality and the rest a combination of Disney vibes and sparkle, which means my tribe is similar (that’s a lot of sparkle)

If you are of a negative disposition or life has just taken you down a dark alley, be cautious about who’s  hand you hold as you may be attracting a tribe member you wouldn’t usually aquaint yourself with, or that will keep you in the dark for longer than you need.

As far as tribes go, we are designed to thrive in small communities and not really meant to link with over 150 people in our life time. Our global identity and social media reality can mean most people can achieve this most days, so don’t be reluctant to take a step out of the crowds and reflect / invest time in your own vibes and those you prefer to spend time with. I think this is why I like to walk the dog and submerge myself in nature regularly.

How’s your tribe? Does it fulfill the vibe you desire and if not what action do you need to take. 

Celebrate every tiny victory 

~ Fridgesays ~ 27 Comments

Quote by Anon
This quote excites me. In a ‘live for today ‘way, rather than counting down to the next big event and slowly wishing our days away.

Back in 2009 I was pregnant and like all chaotic moments – buying a house. The year seemed to be eating at our souls slowly, so much to do and so little time to do it in. More terrifying was where to start. It was at this time that my midwife encouraged me to relax more and Mr F started taking me to the pub for a celebratory lemonade (outrageous I know) in the afternoon, it was the last trimester where I was reluctant to leave the house. With money tight we felt the need to have a reason to go out midweek and so we started to celebrate our daily victories. Send paper work off – Chink, to a week later completing a survey on the house or buying a pram – chink. 

Mile stones seem to follow with the birth of a baby; from rolling on their tummy to first steps. Yet just before two years the mile stones ease and the celebrations frequency seems to also.

My ‘to do list’ is endless and although when I complete individual tasks I feel satisfied I never really celebrate the end of the list. I’ve never wrote a Facebook status on the topic, or even tweeted my joy…in fact until now I’ve never taken the time to reflect that I have ever got to the end of the list, perhaps because I’m busy writing tomorrow’s ‘to dos’ and that isn’t healthy or productive. 

Tiny victories make for happy souls. Think how far you’ve come since the start of the year, the month or even what you’ve achieved this week. May be even jot them down.

  • Got home earlier than usual 
  • Cooked dinner, sat and chatted to Mr F over said dinner with candles lit and…
  • Toys cleared away
  • Two loads of washing 
  • Wrote this post 🙂 
  • Participated in a linky by commenting on other blog posts 
  • Updated Instagram @fridgesays and Twitter whatmyfridgesay 
  • Showered 
  • Planned outfit for tomorrow

Okay, so perhaps this isn’t the makings of a God like figure, but this list occurred in a three hour time frame, with family around, distraction and with other many victories in between.
The washing pile took a battering, my blog blossomed, Mr F and I connected and that’s healthy progress, if we slowed down and noted the commendable moments that pass so many of us by, perhaps we would all have a little more self love and less doubt. How many people would love to start a blog but don’t have time are too busy to sit down mid week and share a meal, now before I award myself a medal and you think I’ve lost the plot here comes the magic

You’re victorious too. We all are. We just forget to celebrate it. 

What we don’t realise is that celebrating doesn’t need a social media status, a party for 6000 people or a food/drink reward.

It takes tiny moments and a tiny amount of time to recognise and enjoy the self satisfaction of what we have done, rather than going to bed with a list of all we still have to do, feeling exhausted and like we are failing. 

Today is a gift and that’s why we call it the present, perhaps this is our most precious victory and it isn’t so tiny. 

If you suck at looking at your daily victories, I have a game that may work. 

Just before I pull into my village on the way home I go over my day and remind myself of eight moments where I was successful. (I’m not sure why eight, it just feels right for me) The best bit about this game is I now ask J (aged three) what his favourite moments were, it can easily be adapted. By the time I’ve put the car in neutral and removed the car keys I always feel good about my day and what I have achieved. 

A positive mindset helps you reach your goals quicker, lifts your soul and even makes for a happier being. What’s not to love? Start treasuring your achievements everyday. You are victorious 


Interrupt anxiety with gratitude 

~ Fridgesays ~ 7 Comments

Quote from Danielle Laposte

Disclosure: this quote flows with ease, the reality of anxiety isn’t always as simple. I realise that but think there is merit in this quote, let me explain why…

Anxiety: prevalent in developed countries, the biggest form of mental health in the USA and consuming teenagers like a Bee to nectar. 

What can we do? Well it’s complex, anxiety is often simultaneous with depression and at times will require either medical treatment or a holistic approach to overcome. The good news is many people are naturally anxious and it can be a personality characteristic than something needing long term treatment, it’s this form that I think this quote is aimed at. Anxiety is one of the many rainbow of emotions we are meant to feel, like all spectrums of emotions they allow us to form strategies and live our lives with the least resistance. I work with and for many people who are anxious by nature. I think it’s often a way the human brain shows it cares and at times can go in to overdrive, after all if we didn’t care we wouldn’t worry. It’s in this case that a drop of gratitude and a balanced look at the situation can dilute anxiety. 

Anxiety doesn’t care who it strikes and when, it doesn’t prefer poor, rich or polka dot but it does frequent females more often. 

My interpretation of this quote is that if you come across someone who is suffering from the anxiety, sit them down (hyperventilating has a wonderful way of making people faint) calmly speak to them and use positive sentences of gratitude, love and reassurance where possible. It really can help and although may not be the solution, to me its basic mathematics; a negative can be overcome by a positive. I work with one girl who is now able to use key sentences of self love to manage what once were daily attacks.  

To everyone who has avoided anxiety, keep the gratitude flowing and those daily mantras of self love, worth and belief will serve you dearly. 

*if anxiety is being served to you on a plate that you’d rather not consume, see you GP and gain guidance from site such as Mind