The Saturday Sesh #two

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

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The end of August bids us farewell and #thesatsesh is back and ready to play again, still new and getting in the swing of things but definitely feeling humble to the awesome range of blogs about. *Thank you for playing.

Myself and my co-host are each selecting our own featured bloggers (double the winners guaranteed), so head over to Hayley’s blog at Mission Mindfulness blog to see who she has selected. My pick is a blogger I’ve read for a while, its The topsy Turvy Tribe . The post made such an impact on me I found myself not only contemplating the concept of Home – but once again, do we really need all the ‘stuff’ we accumulate? No, Im not sentimental so have been known to throw out just about everything if it isn’t glued down, but I really would like to become minimalist – whats holding me back? Sparkly things of course! Anyway, congrats to The lovely TT tribe and please grab yourself a badge at the bottom of this post. (* the crowd goes wild)


The basics: 

  • We are open for 7am Saturday GMT and close at 8pm Sunday GMT
  • All posts on all topics welcome, we want this linky to be totally inclusive to all.

Now for the rules (please take a peek below), having never been a host before I was shocked at the number of bloggers who either linked and didn’t comment or didn’t share the badge, needless to say #thesatsesh is a inclusive community so please share the love and if you have any issues please email us and we will do our best to help (Click here)

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add the # thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.



 








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What My Fridge Says


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There is a strong shadow where there is much light 
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 44 Comments					

				

		
Quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.


To my little dude,


Our diary is always a whirlwind of dates, appointments and activity and there is a huge transition that is dominating the pages in September, you start school.


From the moment you were born and placed in my arms you have been transitioning, it has been a blessing to watch. I cannot underestimate this, many parents are worried for the loss of their babies, the independence of going to school can be concerning and I often hear comments like ‘It feels like only yesterday she was born’ or ‘He isn’t ready for school’ for you im excited to see your world grow and skills expand. I’m extremely at home in the school environment as Mummy is a teacher and this feels a blessing and a curse – I know the highs and lows like the back of my hand.


At four years old your humour is a magnet greater than any computer could create. Just this very evening we laid on your bed and you played me twinkle twinkle on your harmonica – it sounded dreadful, but your laughter was infectious as you broke out into a variation of the song which began twinkle, twinkle chocolate bar…” this is a gift that it precious, don’t let other children’s comments curve your humour.


At the moment you wear a combination of clothes and then you usually like to add an accessory or twenty from various Marvel characters, following fashion is fine but I’ll always support your creative flair and imagination.


I think you’ll like the staff and you already have many friends to play with in your class. You’ll have opportunities that I could never give you to socialise and learn, I really want you to grow in your own way, not with my regrets or desires forced upon you. To make this easier I’m going to make a few promises…


    

  • I promise not to make you do a extra curricular club because I did it, or Daddy did it…you can pick
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  • I promise that as you learn to read, I will still read to you as long as you want
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  • I promise to listen to you talk about your day, rather than hurl questions at you as I walk through the door
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  • I promise you that as you grow older and forget things I will never drop a PE kit / lunch box to you, save your phone credit. Resilience and organisation are self taught by error.
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  • I promise not to show my anxiety over your first few weeks at school.
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  • I promise to help you in any way I can to fulfill your potential, but your happiness is paramount.
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  • I promise to back you up when issues arise. As long as you are always honest with me.
    • 

  • I work full time and will rarely be at the gates, but if you need me I will always be there. I will also be there any time I can, when our school diaries don’t synchronise.
    • 



When you are older, we will look back at this September as a small step on a wonderful and exciting journey that you are taking. It’s not always a parents duty to be next to you, but I will always be a shadow.


Love you to the moon,


Mummy x


P.s. Good luck to the staff trying to get you to sit still and hold a pen.





		
	
			

	


			
				


	

			
The Saturday Session #one
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 5 Comments					

				

		
Welcome to #thesatsesh linky party designed for a weekend of chilled blog reading and joy. Ive teamed up with Hayley from Mission Mindfulness Blog to create a mini world of blog reading pleasure. I asked her to join me on this adventure as her blog is all about bringing calm to the masses and with my motivational sparkle we are a winning duo, we also happen to be teachers – so detentions for any of you that break the rules 🙂


Im totally out of my comfort zone, so I’m practising what I preach; until last week I thought coding was voodoo and widgets were from some mystical land… I still think this but I’m looking forward to using them and developing my own skill set, plus I love reading a variety of blog posts, with this in mind the linky is open to all bloggers and all topics.


Myself and Hayley will each pick our favourite post each week and share it with you in the following weeks post, so lets get this party started. Click the inlinkz below and make sure you are happy to follow the rules, its sad when people come to a party and don’t bring a plate – so make sure you don’t link and run. If you have any issues please email #thesatsesh here


The linky goes live at GMT 7:00am and closes at 8pm on Sunday evening. Perfect if you’ve had a hectic week and haven’t had the chance to give your blog the promotion it deserves


What My Fridge Says


    

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
    • 

  • Grab a badge Please do add the # thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform
    • 

  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
    • 

  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful. 
    • 



OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.


Lets get this party started, click below and add your posts to the very first #thesatsesh linky.








 




 




sat sash 


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You gotta nourish to flourish 
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 41 Comments					

				

		
Every now and then I see a quote and it lights my universe. 


At the moment I am planning kitchen renovations and I wouldn’t mind this little quote hanging somewhere? Food for thought (See what I did there)


Nourish according to the dictionary means ‘to provide food or the opportunities for people to grow and be in good condition’ 


If I’m honest when I see the word nourish I think of food, but what else do we need?


Self belief: if you can dream it, then you can make it happen. This is essential not just to be able to flourish but to be able to sustain any kind of growth (and that includes happiness) 


Drive and desire: these are easy to have and harder to actually make happen. Usually because they require us to get out of our comfort zone and perhaps even take a risk or two. I’ve found since becoming a parent that often the risk is scarier because of my son. However, surely the dream is always ultimately the better finish line for him to see me arrive at?


Tribe: a good family, neighbours, work colleagues and friends all help to make a little ‘you’ community. When the chips are down, don’t panic – team ‘you’ will be there like a giant pillow of love and comfort – looking around and it’s a bit sparse, no problem, sometimes the harder moments let us know which team members require demotion. 


Wellbeing: be it physical or mental you need to make your health number one. Balance is key to this; I’ve written thousands of posts on the issue so for more info read everything I’ve ever written, pretty much – give or take a gratitude post, oh…


Gratitude: a sprinkle of thanks and a piece of humble pie can not only make you a favourite amongst your tribe but you’ll find you manifest and receive even more than you thought possible…seriously Beyoncé and all the big divas are always thanking the people that surround them. 


P.s. Not such a big diva as Queen B but thanks for reading and I hope you leave a little more nourished. If not, what area do you need to step it up in? 



			

	


			
				


	

			
I don’t hold grudges, you just become irrelevant 
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 18 Comments					

				

		
Quote by…the one and only Anon. 


This post is about how harsh and non emotional I can be. Since as long as I can remember I do not hold the ability to forgive, forget or even realise people that hurt me exist. I can cut emotions ties and literally forget that they ever were part of my world…or so I thought until I wrote this post.


I think it probably began with the girl at Nursery (aged 3) pinched me. I couldn’t be friends with her when she started my secondary school over ten years later. I didn’t forget. 


There was the ex boyfriend who I’ve watched treat every woman he has ever dated awfully. Over the years he has caused serious heart ache to many and perhaps once I held a grudge. Now, he is irrelevant and I pity his lack of ability to love honestly and truly. Time heals but in my case it seems to blur to the point I no longer care. 


Several years a go there was a murder of a young boy called Anthony Walker, the attack was racist and brutal. His mother publically forgave the murderers. It happened before I became a parent, but I knew she was sincere and inspirational. I knew I wouldn’t have the capacity to forgive as she had done. Gee Walker became my inspiration – I aspire to her sincerity and clarity of emotions. 


Forgiveness can release you from anger, illness and heightened negativity. Grudges only cause bitterness in those who hold it – not those it’s aimed at. So why is it so hard to forgive? 


I wish I had ‘the top ten ways’ to release anyone from negative emotions. I don’t. In truth it’s a battle I often come across in my own life. For me neutralising the emotion and making them irrelevant, like the quote suggests does help me to feel free of the negativity, but in truth I guess by making someone ‘irrelevant’ you care enough to put them in a ‘I don’t care’ category, which when I was smaller I distinctly remember being a hot air balloon, it was rammed with sarcastic teacher and kids who I didn’t like and the balloon was always a one way trip. Good bye! 


Whilst thinking about my own lack of forgiveness (seriously I can be harsh) the list of people who have made it to my ‘I don’t care’ list / hot air balloon ride is long and I know why each of them made it to my naughty list, which means I still hold a grudge…


Other inspirations for putting emotions aside is when parents separate and ‘for the sake of the kids’ (or their own sanity) stay on positive terms. Love is complex and broken hearts can be bitter and messy. It doesn’t surprise me that for your children couples often make it work in a platonic way, full credit due when this can be achieved, I know it’s not always an option. 


How do you deal with forgiveness and do you have any tips for others? …because I’m asking for a friend 😉 



			

	


			
				


	

			
Happiness is homemade #2 
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 20 Comments					

				

		
So it’s the summer holidays and as a teacher I am thrilled. Not only does a bell not go off every hour and dictate what I do, but I get to spend time with the little dude. 


He starts school in September so these weeks seem even more precious. I love creating memories together as a family and have decided to do a similar thing to last year. Click the link to Happiness is homemade #1 for details of what we did and how you could do your own version. 


It was fab asking him for ideas on what he would like to do. I did add some parent pre planned events in also, and once again I was surprised at how simple the things he wants to do are, from ‘riding his bike’ to ‘playing with mummy’ #cute 




We went for a slime theme this year, because anything green and gross is his thing at 4 years old. 


As always he wants to see more crocodiles (his Godmother has this under control) and we have hung them in the porch (because blue tac does mark and this is a much faster paint job for us)   


I totally recommend doing this and will hopefully do it for years to come – until he way too old and tells me to ‘do one’ because he is back packing around the world with some mates and seeing crocodiles in their natural habitats (Sad Mummy moment / awesome times for him) 


Have a fabulous summer whatever your circumstances, enjoy, love hard and create memories. 

			

	


			
				


	

			
If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 33 Comments					

				

		
Quote from Seth Gadin.


I’ve mentions numerous times in posts that I spent my childhood bubble wrapped due to my Dads overwhelming need to ensure my safety. Ultimately this has meant that I’m not exactly an adventure seeker…I’m more ‘glamp than camp’ and more ‘all inclusive than gap year’. 


In recent years, since raising my son I’ve had to move out of my comfort zone in order to allow him to see me role model both trying new things and pushing boundaries. In case you think this post is about selling all your worldly possessions and moving to Antarctica – you are very wrong. 


We all live in a comfort zone of what makes us happy and we all have our individual thresholds for what scares us or that we perceive we ‘can’t do’. For some it’s a trip to the Dentist, others it’s a fear of deep water or my son it’s generally everything. The annoying this about his emotional breakdowns of ‘Mummy I can’t do it…” is that within minutes of trying he usually aces things. He turned four in March and can swim unaided and ride his bike without stabilisers…the tears are unnecessary (try telling him that). 


I make plans to scare myself or push myself every few months, it’s good for the soul and good for my development and progression. I can’t think of anything worse than becoming stagnant. 


In the coming months I’m embarking on a new linky with a lovely companion, Hayley from Mission Mindfulness by my side. I’m not sure what coding or running a linky really entails? I’ve done some research and I’m willing to make mistakes and put in the work required to make it a success…that’s living and not settling. 


I guess this crazy world is here for us to explore and taste, to meet new people and form new bonds. Otherwise you can plod a long until your last day, with only the Tesco shop on a Tuesday to get you out of the home.


Sometimes when I have a mental block against something I use EFT. There are many websites and links that can explain it better than I could. You may wish to use a practitioner to guide you then DNA unleashed is a good start, there is also some blurb on this website about what the technique can offer, in essence it can help with anything from a phobia to a past trauma or everyday stress. 


Whatever your blocks, use this moment as a sign to attack your fears. They don’t have to be huge and may seem mundane to others. Warning: satisfaction from making progress is highly addictive and can lead to a better quality of life. 


*Links not PR related and words and thoughts are my own 




 

			

	


			
				


	

			
If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 13 Comments					

				

		
Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.


Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?


This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.


On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.


Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.


 

			

	


			
				


	

			
Rock bottom has created more heroes than privilege
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 18 Comments					

				

		
Quote by Anon.


Rock bottom is a place I have been within my own journey and not one id like to visit again any time soon. The great thing about us as individuals is that everybody’s rocks are at varied levels, like a metamorphic rock; some of us are granite and have experienced challenge following grief, others are more slate and have been homeless, broken hearted may be a layer of Anthracite and within the stages of rock making much like humans there are thousands of layers.


There is one huge positive about your individual layer of rock bottom…things can only get better. It may sound obvious and perhaps patronising but there is also a delight in knowing that however bad your today is, tomorrow will be better simply because it can’t get any worse. The real issue is seeing that in the bleak depths of rock bottom.


Gratitude is a way to raise your current reality. Appreciating what you do have, rather than wallowing in what you don’t is a hard but necessary step in raising your vibration (one thats easier said than done) when life throws you a new level of rock bottom you didn’t know existed.


I also have a huge amount of respect for individuals who are now considered great within our history books and came from rock bottom.


    

  • Oprah Winfrey came from poverty and is now the richest billionaire black woman of our times.
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  • Celine Deon was the youngest of 14 children (ouch) and grew up with very little, she now is worth around $400 Million.
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  • Jim Carrey when young was made homeless and his family lived in a van…he now makes $20 million per film and is well known for his upbeat and grateful vibes and of course his humour.
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  • Jay Z grew up in poverty and around crime – he even shot his own brother aged 12. From crime came a hungry talent that values the rapper at around $550 million
    • 



Of course it isn’t always about money. Many people grew up without love and experience  fantastic relationships in their adult life or have rock bottoms that involve other ‘lacks’ and find them as they age.


Privilege however doesn’t seem to have the hunger to do well that poverty and a lacking nature can offer. There are many aristocratic families within the UK that achieve very little for their families wealth or persona. Not great news for the ‘Made in Chelsea’ crew; although none of them seem to be falling on hard times just yet.


However, I believe that the real essence of this quote is about hope. This little four letter word is crucial to anyone wishing to have a better tomorrow. Hope has fed thousands and continues to do so across the globe daily. Hope usually manifests itself in small amounts, much like a seed. It doesn’t require much to nourish it to the next level – a few drops of water and some sunlight and great things begin to happen. As a stalk appears abundance can expands and from one small seed with very little life can come a wonder of blossoms, beauty, nectar and nutrition.


So if you are at rock bottom, I offer you a seed of hope and with a few small actions or risks can come the motion towards a life you use to dream…plus its cold and wet at rock bottom, what have you got to lose?



			

	


			
				


	

			
Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
		

				

						 ~ Fridgesays			 ~ 18 Comments					

				

		
Quote by Dale Carnegie


As a teacher, at the beginning of new terms or even on a Sunday evenings getting the ‘fear’ is not uncommon. Something about standing on the edge of a new week can seem rather daunting. For some, it means another week of demands, overwhelming task and the race of life – chasing that never ending ‘to-do’ list. Of course the ‘fear’ isn’t just a teacher or student concept – the ‘fear’ is inclusive to the entire human race. Sadly.


During exam periods I always encourage my pupils to books several big events during the revision / exam period – it gives a positive focus to what can seem like a never ending carousel of post-its, essay practise, and highlighting sentences. This year one of my high anxiety pupils booked a concert, a meal with friends (no revision cards allowed) and her Mum booked her a ‘surprise weekend’ which turned out to be some well needed family time at Centre Parks.


When I first became a Mummy on maternity leave I realised that I would quickly need a similar recipe for success and sanity. Money was an issue, so instead I treated myself to smaller treats like ‘posh teas’ and made sure I had time to drink them hot (oh the luxury). I used cooing visitors or close family to have bubble baths and silly treats of time mainly to straighten my hair, paint my nails or frankly just sit alone with a book or just to daze out of the window. I guess in some respect this post is a similar message to my last post found here, which is about prioritising yourself.


However, this week I want to take that message one step further – to creating moments of joy in the humdrum of life. To planning family time that units all members and to crucially prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.


If you look at many of the people winning at life, from Oprah to Louise Haye meditation is key to their mental well being and subsequent happiness and success. I recently embarked on an 8 week mindfulness course. Many of the aspects of the course I found unhelpful – either because I already do them or chewing a raisin for twenty minutes just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. I signed up for the course because I was keen to increase and perfect my meditation practise. My instructor gave us a CD full of mediations of different time spans and contents, but I have always found youtube to be an awesome source of led meditation (if thats your thing). I have a few favourites that motivate, chill or empty my mind. During the course I was foolishly waiting for the moment when I had perfected my meditation process and could leave proudly announcing to the world that ‘I can meditate’ and hold my certificate proudly…only to discover that its a daily working progress and you can’t actually meditate incorrectly. In essence for non-meditating readers; you focus on your breathe and try to stop your mind from wondering off…at the start its a little bit like supermarket shopping with a toddler, with practise you learn that online shopping is best for all and that popping in to Waitrose for some milk and bread is your maximum capacity. You become comfortable in your own skin, head and letting go seems to flow much easier. What they don’t warn you is that is highly addictive and the sense of well being that it can give you is exactly the same as when your child reaches the age where you can monthly shop with them and ACTUALLY enjoy their company.


If you have never tried it – you’re wrong. Ive never met anyone who hasn’t driven somewhere like on a daily commute to work and upon arrival can’t remember the journey. Or perhaps read a book and become so enthralled in the characters and plot that you’ve lost track of time, although not ‘strictly’ meditation these events are extremely similar. Escaping your current reality and the demands of the world and freeing your mind – even just for a few minutes.


The evidence for this practise is abundant and a quick google will put any logical mind at ease. However, if you are someone that resonates with the quote above about worry dominating your life, or perhaps every now and then anxiety pops around for an unexpected cuppa and stays way too long, or you just can’t remember when you last enjoyed the now, the today and the present and instead your mind is busy analysing the ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow, then I promise making a few minutes before you fall asleep and listening to a guided meditation will be the best gift you gave yourself.