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If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Rock bottom has created more heroes than privilege

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Anon.

Rock bottom is a place I have been within my own journey and not one id like to visit again any time soon. The great thing about us as individuals is that everybody’s rocks are at varied levels, like a metamorphic rock; some of us are granite and have experienced challenge following grief, others are more slate and have been homeless, broken hearted may be a layer of Anthracite and within the stages of rock making much like humans there are thousands of layers.

There is one huge positive about your individual layer of rock bottom…things can only get better. It may sound obvious and perhaps patronising but there is also a delight in knowing that however bad your today is, tomorrow will be better simply because it can’t get any worse. The real issue is seeing that in the bleak depths of rock bottom.

Gratitude is a way to raise your current reality. Appreciating what you do have, rather than wallowing in what you don’t is a hard but necessary step in raising your vibration (one thats easier said than done) when life throws you a new level of rock bottom you didn’t know existed.

I also have a huge amount of respect for individuals who are now considered great within our history books and came from rock bottom.

  • Oprah Winfrey came from poverty and is now the richest billionaire black woman of our times.
  • Celine Deon was the youngest of 14 children (ouch) and grew up with very little, she now is worth around $400 Million.
  • Jim Carrey when young was made homeless and his family lived in a van…he now makes $20 million per film and is well known for his upbeat and grateful vibes and of course his humour.
  • Jay Z grew up in poverty and around crime – he even shot his own brother aged 12. From crime came a hungry talent that values the rapper at around $550 million

Of course it isn’t always about money. Many people grew up without love and experience  fantastic relationships in their adult life or have rock bottoms that involve other ‘lacks’ and find them as they age.

Privilege however doesn’t seem to have the hunger to do well that poverty and a lacking nature can offer. There are many aristocratic families within the UK that achieve very little for their families wealth or persona. Not great news for the ‘Made in Chelsea’ crew; although none of them seem to be falling on hard times just yet.

However, I believe that the real essence of this quote is about hope. This little four letter word is crucial to anyone wishing to have a better tomorrow. Hope has fed thousands and continues to do so across the globe daily. Hope usually manifests itself in small amounts, much like a seed. It doesn’t require much to nourish it to the next level – a few drops of water and some sunlight and great things begin to happen. As a stalk appears abundance can expands and from one small seed with very little life can come a wonder of blossoms, beauty, nectar and nutrition.

So if you are at rock bottom, I offer you a seed of hope and with a few small actions or risks can come the motion towards a life you use to dream…plus its cold and wet at rock bottom, what have you got to lose?

Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Dale Carnegie

As a teacher, at the beginning of new terms or even on a Sunday evenings getting the ‘fear’ is not uncommon. Something about standing on the edge of a new week can seem rather daunting. For some, it means another week of demands, overwhelming task and the race of life – chasing that never ending ‘to-do’ list. Of course the ‘fear’ isn’t just a teacher or student concept – the ‘fear’ is inclusive to the entire human race. Sadly.

During exam periods I always encourage my pupils to books several big events during the revision / exam period – it gives a positive focus to what can seem like a never ending carousel of post-its, essay practise, and highlighting sentences. This year one of my high anxiety pupils booked a concert, a meal with friends (no revision cards allowed) and her Mum booked her a ‘surprise weekend’ which turned out to be some well needed family time at Centre Parks.

When I first became a Mummy on maternity leave I realised that I would quickly need a similar recipe for success and sanity. Money was an issue, so instead I treated myself to smaller treats like ‘posh teas’ and made sure I had time to drink them hot (oh the luxury). I used cooing visitors or close family to have bubble baths and silly treats of time mainly to straighten my hair, paint my nails or frankly just sit alone with a book or just to daze out of the window. I guess in some respect this post is a similar message to my last post found here, which is about prioritising yourself.

However, this week I want to take that message one step further – to creating moments of joy in the humdrum of life. To planning family time that units all members and to crucially prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.

If you look at many of the people winning at life, from Oprah to Louise Haye meditation is key to their mental well being and subsequent happiness and success. I recently embarked on an 8 week mindfulness course. Many of the aspects of the course I found unhelpful – either because I already do them or chewing a raisin for twenty minutes just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. I signed up for the course because I was keen to increase and perfect my meditation practise. My instructor gave us a CD full of mediations of different time spans and contents, but I have always found youtube to be an awesome source of led meditation (if thats your thing). I have a few favourites that motivate, chill or empty my mind. During the course I was foolishly waiting for the moment when I had perfected my meditation process and could leave proudly announcing to the world that ‘I can meditate’ and hold my certificate proudly…only to discover that its a daily working progress and you can’t actually meditate incorrectly. In essence for non-meditating readers; you focus on your breathe and try to stop your mind from wondering off…at the start its a little bit like supermarket shopping with a toddler, with practise you learn that online shopping is best for all and that popping in to Waitrose for some milk and bread is your maximum capacity. You become comfortable in your own skin, head and letting go seems to flow much easier. What they don’t warn you is that is highly addictive and the sense of well being that it can give you is exactly the same as when your child reaches the age where you can monthly shop with them and ACTUALLY enjoy their company.

If you have never tried it – you’re wrong. Ive never met anyone who hasn’t driven somewhere like on a daily commute to work and upon arrival can’t remember the journey. Or perhaps read a book and become so enthralled in the characters and plot that you’ve lost track of time, although not ‘strictly’ meditation these events are extremely similar. Escaping your current reality and the demands of the world and freeing your mind – even just for a few minutes.

The evidence for this practise is abundant and a quick google will put any logical mind at ease. However, if you are someone that resonates with the quote above about worry dominating your life, or perhaps every now and then anxiety pops around for an unexpected cuppa and stays way too long, or you just can’t remember when you last enjoyed the now, the today and the present and instead your mind is busy analysing the ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow, then I promise making a few minutes before you fall asleep and listening to a guided meditation will be the best gift you gave yourself.


 

Know your worth and then add tax 

~ Fridgesays ~ 40 Comments

Okay, so this quote from Anon is going straight into my top twenty of self love quotes! (Yes, that’s right people I used an exclaimation mark) 

I recently posted a YouTube post on my facebook wall from Kristina Kuzmic (link here because it’s well worth a look), I love her feisty vibe and so once you’ve taken a peep imagine I too am sitting in a bubble bath of joy with a glass in my hands as tall as the Eifle Tower. (* reality disclaimer: no drink, sat at the top of the stairs hiding from my family so I can write in peace) 

This YouTube clip combined with this quote makes me feel like Beyoncé on stage in her element. It’s absolutely crucial that as role models of the human race we all make ourselves number one. Why? Because this in turn allows us to serve others (loved ones and the odd  stranger who may need a helping hand) way better. When I’ve had some ‘me time’ I literally can take on the world. It allows me to gain a better perspective on the state of the universe and at the same time prevents me from starting arguments / world wars over how towels are folded, toilet seats left up and all those other household triggers. This in turn makes me easier and way more accommodating to live with. 

But there is a second bonus: my health is better as a result of indulging in myself. I’m emotionally stable (*kind of) and physically healthier. So how do I make time…I ask others to help me out. Whether that be an evenings child care / grandparent indulgence, or I ask Mr F to take over while I sit on the stairs and get this written. 

I also don’t priorities housework and chores over myself. I sometimes wake up earlier to do yoga, read or listen to a podcast when helping hands aren’t available, sometimes when I’m not too exhausted from work I stay up a little later. At other times I seize opportunities to walk the dog and leave the house… I promise whatever your situation if you prioritise you can always find five minutes, you could even start with three.

So, I have a few questions… 

  • Do you make time for yourself?
  • How do you make the time?
  • What do you do with the time?

I swear I’m 95 years old and I seem to choose a hot bubbly bath, time to read, time to write, to sit and drink a HOT cup of tea, some yoga or a sneaky GnT… so if my worth is time to write then surely the tax is a gin and tonic 🙂 stay happy and make yourself number one. 

Muscle up buttercup

~ Fridgesays ~ 19 Comments

Quote from Disney’s Moana – by Maui

Welcome to another Disney inspired rambling. Every now and then I seek a top up of Disney vibes, it allows me to be distracted from the adult world and into the enchanting world of make believe.

However, this quote is my new favourite for the very opposite of that reason – it grounds me, affirms me and is in my opinion much like the quote ‘Man up’ but without the need to be gender specific. When I read this quote I don’t feel the need to lift weights or hit the gym (although I have used it with an impressed tone to praise the other half when he has returned from the gym #bonuspoints) in fact me and weights are about as distant as the UK is from Disney World…

To me this quote says ‘Stop. Dig deep, breathe and you are limitless’ and all in three little words. Often when life feels like a struggle we get absorbed by the mundane, the negative and create walls that stop us from being successful. Yesterday I encountered two events that I’d like to share where I used the ‘Muscle up buttercup’ vibes to defeat the negativity of the universe. The first step to being able to do this is staying aware of your current emotion and being aware of others around you.

With this in mind it will be no shock that my first negative encounter was in the supermarket check out queue. Im standing alone in the line when a woman who was unloading her trolley of items on to the conveyer belt on the opposite till to mine made small talk with me.

*Danger zone warning: small talk is usually pointless but nobody wants to be rude (except Mr F, who for this very reason was sat in the car whilst I went into the supermarket)

The lady makes a remark about the warm weather and I rebound her negative comment about it being ‘too warm’ with my love for a hot climate. However round two was seconds away with her comment about how ‘food shopping seems like hard work’, it was at this point that I deployed the ‘Muscle up buttercup ‘ vibes. I asked her if she needed help, she thanked me and declined. I then said I really enjoy buying fresh fruit and vegetables for my family and thought we were lucky to have such an awesome selection available. She smiled and said she hadn’t thought of that…

Without being consumed by her negative attitude, I turned and focused on the nice things I was about to purchase. It would of been easier for me to agree with her, to not offer help and to moan about the weather but that would have impacted my emotions and in turn my day. 

The next encounter with negativity came from my four year old riding his bike – he screamed, yelled, hollered and wailed from the moment his bottom hit the saddle. It made a twenty minute cycle to the village food festival a painful and slow process of mental torture. I chose not to listen and used my teacher skills to block him out, but for him it made a joyful activity hard. Riding his bike felt like work as he reinforced to himself that he ‘couldn’t do it’ and that much like the lady in the supermarket ‘it was too hard’ and the physical application to a fun cycle became a stop start action of distress.

It was at the point where his tears merged with a river of snot that his Daddy reminded him that he ‘could do it’ and reinforced why he was a ‘champion’ on his bike

*Bradley wiggins need not feel threatened

For the last two minutes of the journey he smiled, beamed and rode beautifully. Somewhere between the pep talk and his actions he had 100% applied ‘Muscled up buttercup’. At home he couldn’t stop talking about how he loved riding his bike and whilst my external body language praised him with a smile, I didn’t share the parental frustration of the misery he had caused for the previous hours during his non stop crying. Perhaps that was my ‘muscle up’ moment?

In parent land and also working with teenagers there are many moments of digging deeper and smiling harder. However, there is one secret to being able to activate the ‘muscle up buttercup’ joy – make the choice. Similar to deciding what you’re having for lunch, it often boils down to a decision to choose to smile, the conscious resolution to not talk to yourself negatively and making the choice again and again to be happy. Some moments are harder than others and it can feel at times like there are no buttercups for you to grasp, but that’s when you need a little more ‘muscle up’. Sounds easy enough? Like most things it takes practise but I promise there is nothing as essential to your wellbeing as a sprinkle of happiness. 

He can call me Flower if he wants to…

~ Fridgesays ~ 35 Comments

Quote from Bambi

Okay, so when you are ‘up the duff or ‘baking a bun in the oven or just plain ‘with child’ everybody likes to give you advice. It’s usually horrific advice where men tell tales of sleep deprivation and a loss of reality and women share intimate stories of vaginas and stitches (seriously, why has nobody told these women the phrase snitches get stitches?) because frankly when your bun / duff or child is growing inside you and you’re overwhelmed with hormones,the thought of impending responsibility FOREVER and feel the size of a house – you don’t want to hear any advice or the downsides of your situation, in fact this advice should be placed on the side of condoms packets.

When I joined the world of blogger-sphere I also learnt that every Mummy blogger has at least one blog on ‘new mum advice’ and every Dad has some army survival themed post on adjusting to life after birth or preparing for the big day. Not one to follow in the paths of others, I’ve avoided these posts like my son avoids holding a pen because I know that deep down no new parent really wants to hear what I have to say and frankly they’ll work it out.

UNTIL NOW.

If there is one piece of advice that nobody gave me, id want to know the details of what I went through this week because frankly Disney let me down. Regular reader will know that Walt is one of my Best friends and pretty much every Disney film offers me some form of advice in which I apply to my life and impose on you. 

Disney is my equivalent to Breakfast TV or the news, Disney is my go to, my google and my fountain of knowledge. Im constantly applying Mermaid philosophies to my studies, letting it go and loving like the beauty I am and the beast that Mr is when he hasn’t shaved  (I look past the prickles and try to visualise the man he was before he realised that razors are super expensive and beards are vaguely in fashion).

When raising little dude we have always encouraged Disney and he has a DVD collection to be proud of, his favourites are the Toy Story series and Car’s – our Goldfish are proudly named after key characters; Mater and Lightening McQueen and a relaxing afternoon in our home usually involves a Disney DVD, now here comes my advice to all parents, new, young, old or frankly lacking in Disney knowledge…

If you truly love your child more than life itself NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF WATCHING BAMBI. (please read this like I’m shouting at you)

Forget ‘breast is best’ advice, what nappy you recommend, please pass this on to all new parents and i’ll tell the tale of the traumatised four year old and the Mum who f*cked up by trusting in a classic.

Firstly, Ive seen it before, I should of known better. When the hunter first tries to kill Bambi’s Mum (it came out in 1942 so I don’t feel like I’m throwing any spoilers into this) I was quick to tell him that Bambi’s Mum had died….only to see B’s Mum bounce off into a field, I was then branded a liar by my small child. Fast forward ten or so minutes and Bambi’s Mum does get shot. At this point my son looked at me, eyes fully dilated and brimming with tears screaming at me to tell him it wasn’t true…I was lost for words.
We then had to pause the DVD whilst I reassured him that his Mummy (yup me) wasn’t going to be shot anytime soon (its not in the insurance policy) and that the hunter lived far away and wouldn’t hurt any of his friends at preschool or our dog, fish, stick insects or African snails.

With the tears under control I pressed play on the remote (we call it a ‘magic’ in our house – because frankly a remote is like voodoo) and then a bush fire consumed the screen, with my son stuck to my face we watched as a racoon build a raft to a small island, we watched carnage run through our happy Disney place and all the while I was thinking what the hell am I doing to him? Seriously, a cute rabbit with a speech impediment and a giant thump doesn’t really make up for the neglect I had subjected him to. Nobody cares about ‘drip drip drop little April showers’ after Bambi is left traumatised in the snow.

The ending is happy, Bambi and his hot Deer Mumma Faline make Bambi twins, but even this confused him and he thought Bambi had been born again. He also asked how they made the baby Deer’s but frankly by this time I was still speechless and distracting him with chocolate bribery to protect his precious mind from the horror that is Disney’s Bambi.

So, don’t believe the certification of U that the film industry gave it, instead warn all parents everywhere, all Grandparents and anyone who is vague human…or perhaps a Deer (they wouldn’t like it either) to NEVER watch it. His Godmother hit it on the head when I was retelling her my traumatic Bambi failure “Actually there isn’t an age where anyone wants to see that, is there?” Nope, there is not wise Godmother that I selected for my precious bundle, nobody ever.

This is all my parental advice from two pregnancies, a four year old and way too many years of teaching teenagers. 

Best of luck. 

Embrace the glorious mess you are in.

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote by Elizabeth Gilbert

I often write when the family has settled (AKA doing other things away from me) or I have some time to allow my thoughts to type themselves up – its true, I often haven’t a clue what I’m going to write about, I just have an urge to type or my head feels overwhelmed and there is an inbuilt need to ‘type it out’.

Today I feel overwhelmed to type and armed with a cup of green tea, my MacBook Air and a vase of pretty flowers my bestie bought me you’d think i’d be ready to write in solitude and Instagram greatness…look a few inches from my dining room table and my son has turned my living room into a scene from a horror film, Star Wars is blaring from our TV and chaos incapsulates my home as the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it, Mr F is stomping around the home looking for something he has put down several days a go (I’ll give him a few more minutes of searching and then put him out of his misery, as I locate said item in thirty seconds with my inbuilt mother vision detective device; seriously I’ve got skills when it comes to finding lost socks, cufflinks or keys since giving birth).

My son has just interrupted me to ask me to read him a story. I stopped typing and read to him.

I read a lot about motivation, affirmations, letting go, manifestations and goal setting. Whilst I realise that to move on and up we need to visualise, make progress steps and surround ourselves with positive people, today Ive decided to embrace the chaos.

Letting go

Sure my entire home isn’t the way id like it, I hate my kitchen (new kitchen coming soon), there is often too much clutter and everything doesn’t have a place. Working full time means I don’t always have time to clean to the standard I would like and this can cause me to become anxious, although saying that I probably prioritise family over dusting if I did get a day for such things. Beyond the home, balancing work and play often gets befuddled and there are periods of time when the plates I’m spinning crash to the floor and slowly with the help of loved ones I brush myself off and pick up the pieces of plate scattered around me, often there is also a phase of life where there are sharp edges all over my life that I have to avoid stepping on – broken plates like life often throw a pointed edge into the mix. However, if I look at my living room and past the chaos, my son is happily playing in a giant box in the middle of his toys. The box is Gotham city and he is jabbering contently about Batman saving the city from ‘the clutches of the Joker’. I’m learning that if you let go over the negative, a positive scene is often playing out right before your eyes.

Im not adulting today

Growing up I thought that adults had it made, that they knew everything and had all the answers, its probably why we all step up the ‘growing up’ phase in the teenage years in hope to get to the good bit. Only to find its a trap.

Being an adult is a bit like a toddler in a pushchair; you spend your entire shopping trip trying to convince your parents to let you out of the chair and the rest of the trip trying to get someone to carry you or let you back in the chair for a comfy snooze. I am that adult trying to avoid making decisions, stepping away from responsibility and avoiding paying bills like the plague.

Every now and then I allow myself a day or a few hours from being an adult, today is that day. My son can eat chocolate for every meal if he wants and the house chores can wait until tomorrow. I may prioritise painting my nails and I will certainly be wearing stretchy clothes because I am bound to also eat far too much chocolate and the extra elastic will help. I will drink far too much tea and may play some of my vinyls too loud. I will play with my son the games he wants me to play, even though I haven’t a clue about ‘The force’ or the galaxies he finds delight in.

I will submerge into the now and let go of the routine… tomorrow I’ll adult and use ‘The Force’ that I’ll learn about later today to clean this place up to an adult standard, tomorrow I will discipline and create structure…but today I will let go and enjoy the glorious mess that life has given me, I’ll choose to see through the mess and enjoy the moments of sparkle.

Now lets put that kettle on…

One day…

~ Fridgesays ~ 61 Comments

Quote unknown

When I grow up I want to be a Mermaid. I blame Ariel and Eric, oh and Sebastian the crab (lobster?) well you get the idea. 

I love swimming and brushing my hair, I have a great collection of both bikinis and shells…Unlike The Little Mermaid I’m thinking ‘down there where it’s wetter’ may be more ideal. (No innuendo intended) 

I do like to eat seafood which may mean I’m a little friendless but ultimately I feel I have both the skill and capacity for taking my new lifestyle to the next level. 

So one day I will be a Mermaid, what am I waiting for? Why delay? Well, I’m actually waiting for techno dudes to stop concentrating on fighting deadly virus’s and creating sustainer villages, iPhone 800’s and such to focus on building me a fin. Several years ago there was a craze to crochet mermaids tails, my mum said she would give it a go for me but I’m not sure a fabric that isn’t water proof is what I’m looking for in my attempt to be ‘Part of that World’ long term. 

If you think I’m being ridiculous then you’ve misunderstood the tone of my post, one day I will be a Mermaid. When I was four I decided I wanted to be a Teacher. I would line my dolls and teddies in lines and take the register for hours in preparation…an education and a degree later and I MADE IT. 

However, perhaps if this is ‘day one’ I really should think about some of the obstacles in my current life and try tackling them, after all we all need a plan. Plus you can’t always trust in technology taking its time, what if my fin arrives sooner than expected? Firstly, I wrinkle in water – Arial seemed wrinkless in the 90 minute animation, so perhaps I could increase my wrinkle cream rountine and take longer baths in preparation. (Tick)

Also, I’m not a fan of being cold – so family move to a hot climate with tropical sea conditions may be necessary. I’ve just asked Mr F about this and although keen on a warmer climate I feel he isn’t taking the move seriously, I could be wrong but the sentence construction he just used involved many blue words not found in the dictionary and ended with ‘are you still talking’.

Whilst I get him use to the global migration of our family I’ll tackle another issue – I’m not keen on getting my hair wet. Yes, I am that blonde in the pool who over stretches her neck and gives children evil glances for even thinking of splashing her with the liquid she is surrounded in. I’ve watched the Disney classic again and from what I can see in or out of the water Arial has the same insanely gorgeous hair, so perhaps this comes with the fin? Like a bolt on can for phone contracts… (half tick)

Still reading and thinking I’m insane…no more insane than you if you have a dream and today isn’t your ‘day one’, leave the ‘one days’ to Disney and make those dreams happen. 

Confidence is silent 

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

Quote Unknown

Its no coincidence that I blog using quotes as my inspiration, I’m like the mother of Gus in ‘Fault in our stars’ and could easily have quotes all over my home, from cushions to walls, tiny plaques hanging from every door handle and post-its hidden in my sons lunch. Luckily I live with Mr F who is awesome at curving such ideas when they get out of hand. We have a limit on items I find joyful like candles, pebbles or in this case quotes.

I really do enjoy analysing them, researching the author and delving into the potential meanings to move my own journey in life forwards, I hope that in some small way as readers you also connect with the content and amazing doors of opportunity open for you.

This quote isn’t like the others.

Its unique.

I wrote my full post on this quote a week a go, gave it to Mr F to spell check and generally look over when he said some words that he has never said before…”you can’t put that out, it doesn’t work – start again”, I’d like to say at this point I defended my work and told him where to go, but I didn’t – I wasn’t even upset. I knew he was right.

*disclosure: Mr F cannot use the written word above against me, particularly in arguments around ‘Im always right babe’

Why do I think its unique? because as I read it I realise that this quote doesn’t require analysis, its all there for us to absorb, it is my reality everyday; people who approach me with ego and arrogance who project their insecurities at me in a feeble attempt to cover up their self conscious beliefs verses those that magnetise me, not because they are going out of their way to capture my attention, far from it – I’m captured by the magnetic force of sincerity, when praising them they respond with heartfelt gratitude and as a person they have depth, morals and all that complex stuff in between – sure they may have weaknesses, but they are grounded and don’t feel the need to project them at me.

So how do you alter what you are projecting if you are off balance?

  • Avoid conversations with people about weight loss and appearance, it is rarely helpful and often leads you in to a negative cycle of conversation.
  • Practise self love and self worth – you can do this by grabbing a note book and listing/ focusing on the things you like, the talents you have and the assets you can offer the world
  • Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people

And if all of that isn’t enough then new research suggests that placing your hands on your hips (in a super hero way, not a tea pot) for a few minutes increases you inner energy and other people see this in you – without you having to publicise it. If this feels a little seventies Superman (no such thing!-Mr F.) for you then I’ve even known friends who have done this in a toilet cubicle before an interview (and got the job 🙂 There is even a TedTalk about it by Amy Cuddy.

Stay blessed this week and focus on the assets your body has and the friends who leave you beaming.

Attitude is a little thing…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 

 Quote from Winston Churchill. This is post is a reminder to keep our emotions balanced.

Working in an environment with over a thousand teenagers – I literally have a degree in attitude, so it is natural for me to talk about this part of my life.

However, attitude in society is much more interesting to me.

Last weekend Mr Fridge and I went on a date night, part of the date included a meal. Our waitress was scary and angry and well…sad. I knew that her attitude was going to end up backfiring on her. Seconds later a customer (on another table may I add) blew his top with her, as sad as I felt for her I couldn’t help thinking she had attracted negativity.

On Sunday we sat at Blackwall tunnel for a hour in static traffic and the attitude of some drivers was hysterical…nudging forward (remember I said the jam was static), cursing and making themselves upset…got them no where. We didn’t go anywhere either but we weren’t near to needing assistance for a heart attack.

I think attitude is a fine line…too passive and you get walked over, too assertive and you can become queen bossy boots and too aggressive usually lands you up in trouble. A balance of emotions is essentially as important as a balanced diet or work/play lifestyle.

Balanced emotions can get really good results, to be assertive is hugely attractive for a lot of people, especially in the work place. I do remember a teacher that I had in when I was at secondary school…he was angry before he walked in the place and we (a group of about 30 kids) knew exactly what buttons to press to cause him to explode. I do feel a little bad that I participated in this but at the same time I learnt very little in Science due to his (the adult) emotions.

Saying that, nobody is perfect and we all have days where we snap or bite. I guess those are the days that we lose our attitude balance?

I have to end of something that was intrenched into my soul throughout my childhood, it’s pretty obvious really – but manners do go along way and cost nothing. A please, thank you, compliment or even opening a door can adjust another persons attitude to you, it’s hard to be angry with someone who has just allowed you to pass through the door you are opening for them with a huge smile, and if you can help others adjust their attitude – you’re someone who is pretty special.