motivation

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Rock bottom has created more heroes than privilege

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Anon.

Rock bottom is a place I have been within my own journey and not one id like to visit again any time soon. The great thing about us as individuals is that everybody’s rocks are at varied levels, like a metamorphic rock; some of us are granite and have experienced challenge following grief, others are more slate and have been homeless, broken hearted may be a layer of Anthracite and within the stages of rock making much like humans there are thousands of layers.

There is one huge positive about your individual layer of rock bottom…things can only get better. It may sound obvious and perhaps patronising but there is also a delight in knowing that however bad your today is, tomorrow will be better simply because it can’t get any worse. The real issue is seeing that in the bleak depths of rock bottom.

Gratitude is a way to raise your current reality. Appreciating what you do have, rather than wallowing in what you don’t is a hard but necessary step in raising your vibration (one thats easier said than done) when life throws you a new level of rock bottom you didn’t know existed.

I also have a huge amount of respect for individuals who are now considered great within our history books and came from rock bottom.

  • Oprah Winfrey came from poverty and is now the richest billionaire black woman of our times.
  • Celine Deon was the youngest of 14 children (ouch) and grew up with very little, she now is worth around $400 Million.
  • Jim Carrey when young was made homeless and his family lived in a van…he now makes $20 million per film and is well known for his upbeat and grateful vibes and of course his humour.
  • Jay Z grew up in poverty and around crime – he even shot his own brother aged 12. From crime came a hungry talent that values the rapper at around $550 million

Of course it isn’t always about money. Many people grew up without love and experience  fantastic relationships in their adult life or have rock bottoms that involve other ‘lacks’ and find them as they age.

Privilege however doesn’t seem to have the hunger to do well that poverty and a lacking nature can offer. There are many aristocratic families within the UK that achieve very little for their families wealth or persona. Not great news for the ‘Made in Chelsea’ crew; although none of them seem to be falling on hard times just yet.

However, I believe that the real essence of this quote is about hope. This little four letter word is crucial to anyone wishing to have a better tomorrow. Hope has fed thousands and continues to do so across the globe daily. Hope usually manifests itself in small amounts, much like a seed. It doesn’t require much to nourish it to the next level – a few drops of water and some sunlight and great things begin to happen. As a stalk appears abundance can expands and from one small seed with very little life can come a wonder of blossoms, beauty, nectar and nutrition.

So if you are at rock bottom, I offer you a seed of hope and with a few small actions or risks can come the motion towards a life you use to dream…plus its cold and wet at rock bottom, what have you got to lose?

I got my own back 

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote from one of my favourite females, Maya Angelou

I’m an only child. There are myths that I was lonely, isolated and spoilt as a child because of just this ‘fact’. However, I was never lonely and was always allowed a friend for tea, or would take part in extra curricular activities in whatever my flavour of the month was (I’ve always lacked commitment). My parents lives revolved around me and I was spoilt with time and opportunities, when it came to material objects I was like every other child and had to wait until Christmas or birthdays, that said I don’t remember going without.

I loved being ‘just me’ and am truly grateful to my parents and family for all the wonderful memories we grew together and don’t panic, I was socialised and therefore can share should the occasion arise.

One of the things however that people don’t associate with only children is that I’ve got my own back. It’s an awesome skill that has given me resilience. I’m not saying siblings can’t have their own backs to; after all it’s your back to do what you like with it, right? That said I know many siblings whose relationships have bought hostility and also others with unity, again they can have their own backs or not. 

However for me personally growing without siblings has meant I have had to be my own competition, I set the goals and with heinsight I’m my own little team. I’ve also expanded my family with a few close friends who I know I can count on. I’ve always had just one very close friend and then people that surround that relationship. If I’m honest I’m very much a ‘people’s person’ who doesn’t really like humanity. As I have grown older I’ve definitely become picky about who is on ‘team fridge’ and many a human has had the fridge door shut in their face. Sometimes it’s warmer in the fridge without negative vibes.

Recently my son (only child on earth) was playing in our local park and his little friend was playing with some other children, the boy announced that my son couldn’t play with him. My heart ached for him. However, my robust little dude continued to play happily by himself and whilst I was watching and dealing with my own emotions, it was Mr F that pointed out that our little dude wasn’t bothered. Not convinced I obviously had a chat with him on the way home and I realised that he really wasn’t bothered, in fact he said “it’s okay Mummy, if ****** doesn’t want to play then he doesn’t have to.” That’s when I realised that my awesome little dude had his own back. Kids are harsh and our little dude is no more innocent or lovely that any other – humans are cruel, but being your own number one has got to be of benefit.

You are the only person that has experienced everything you have, been with you 24/7 – for better or worse. This is why self love is essential, it gives you a worth that will radiate to others, but if for any reason it doesn’t radiate – self love means it doesn’t matter what others think, you’ve got your own back.

Maya Angelou was such a wise human (there are a few) and her quotes are my all time favourites. I think the reason I like them so much is they remind me of things I’ve learnt but sometimes need reminding of, we all need that right?

If life has drained your self love to an all time low, why not pop this simple quote on your bathroom mirror, or somewhere near the front door. Its a timely reminder that you are awesome, just the way you are. It may also help your self love to increase – people often think this is egotistical or selfish, but actually by putting yourself first (at times) means you’re often a better version of yourself for loved ones around you. So this week make sure you are no.1 and you’ve got your back, it might just be the making of you. 

Don’t just be good to others

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Another epic quote from the dazzling and dynamic ‘Anon’

Firstly, lets break this quote down in to two segments and then devour it like its ice cream from a parlour with a cherry on the top…

Be good to others

It sounds so obvious and I can’t remember a time in my life where teachers at school weren’t ramming this concept down my throat? More annoyingly it feels sooo good to be good to others, it reminds me of the episode of Friends (1998) ‘The one where Phoebe hates PBS’ and tries to find a lack of joy in helping people.

Being good to others has to be good for those Karma points; hard core readers of my blog will know this is a game I play with myself where I do good for others – for example letting other drivers pull out before me, simply so I can collect the Karma points that I secretly believe (Yes i’m aware I’m in my thirties) will one day be traded in for greatness and to live the dream, or that I can cash in a few on rainy day when lady luck forgets to shine.

Most religions mention helping others, or more importantly the less fortunate. I recently attended a Gurdwara/ Sikh temple in Southhampton on a school trip and was blown away  with their generosity to feed others – the ‘Langar’ means that Sikhs across the globe are passionate about feeding those in need and not just a few but thousands every day. Luckily for us, their generosity extends to school trips and the opulence shown to us encourages a wonderful infusion of community cohesion and my love for Asian food 🙂

 

Being good to you 

My Dad is an old school fussy eater and I remember every Sunday my Mum would tie herself to the cooker and hours later produce a Sunday roast to die for…my Dad would push his around his plate and never seemed that grateful but every week Mum would give my Dad the best bits of meat and I never understood why? It seems to be a very British / Parent thing to put yourself at the back of the ‘be good to yourself’ line.

Reflecting further more I can’t help but feel to be the best I can for my son, at times I may need to go to the top of the hierarchy – after all what use is an exhausted mother to anyone? And besides the the first rule of life saving is your health first. Balance is prevalent on this blog and I think at times in friendship and family life we need to learn to put ourselves first, to be the best we can for ourselves and those we love…not all the time but on occasion.

As a result this weeks challenge is to put yourself first. Make time to go to the gym, to have a relaxing bath without a rubber duck or toddler for company, to walk the dog in solace or to pick up a book and that well deserved glass of wine, whatever your putting off because you are ‘so busy’ whatever floats your boat of desire…do it. You will feel lifted and I promise you as a result you will be a better human to be around for those you love.

I recently ‘treated’ myself to a bunch of sunflowers and got extremely guilty – I questioned why and then after a mental breakdown in the flower isle I realised I was worried about spending money on me, on a whim and something I didn’t ‘need’. You’ll be pleased to know I quickly defeated the demons and popped the bouquet in my trolley – because being good to me made me smile, feel good about myself and thats worth a million bouquets.

In balance of the week challenge I set above in bold, paying it forward is another ‘feel good’ thing to do. So why not also complete a random act of kindness it could be as simple as letting someone go ahead of you at the supermarket checkout or making cards of thanks for people around you for no particular reason. There is a legend of a (very cute) man called Joshua Coombes who I follow on instagram – he is a hairdresser and cuts the homeless people of Londons hair, the photographs speaks for itself as you see the transformation in his clients eyes. I believe its these sorts of people we should be giving ‘celebrity’ status to.

So this week give the challenges a go and remember that ‘only goodness can come out of good intentions’ its a double positive after all.


 

 

 

You are suppose to make mistakes 

~ Fridgesays ~ 26 Comments

img_4081Quote by Anon.

Today I’m going to let you in to a secret, don’t tell anyone okay…

Mistakes are magic. There I said it (well wrote it?) and its true. When my son doesn’t understand something, or is watching Disney and asks a question I can’t answer, I tell him its magic. How the tooth fairy operates – magic, how Father Christmas travels the world in one night visiting every child..you guessed it ‘Magic’ , how the dishwasher makes our plates sparkle, once again ‘Magic’. No three year old needs to be aware of kitchen appliances unless it associates with some kind of abracadabra factor. Any kind of unknown that falls in to the magic category is usually positive and far more exciting than reality.

the definition of ‘magic’ is;

noun

 1.
  1. the power of apparently influencing events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
    “suddenly, as if by magic, the doors start to open”

On the other hand mistakes are often negative, regretful and ugly. The events trickle into various pools of life that you often want to protect and so over time the human brain builds thick walls to seal them in and protect them from the light of day…sadly the equally powerful ‘time’ creates cracks in the walls and mistakes flow from directions we didn’t even know existed.

Where is my brain going with this? Well, if mistakes are negative and allow us to draw conclusions that we usually later learn from then the opposite is positive and full of wonder and possibility – magic.

Im not sure I’ve got all of this ‘life’ business down to a tee, but I do know that I want a life full of magic and excitement, it is no coincidence that the Paul Daniels Magic trick set was popular in the 1980’s and in fact on every child’s Christmas list in 1987 ( I didn’t get it but my cousin Laura did and it was epic, if by epic you like a lump of rope and several coloured squidgy balls), he was and still is a national treasure, his saturday night entertainment was family orientated and spectacular, plus Debbie was gorgeous and when you found out they were married in ‘real life’ every thing on screen became a little more amazing.

Whilst we aspire to a life full of dazzle and wonder perhaps there may be tricks a long the way to distract us…this is just a mistake that once learnt from allows us to improve, succeed and create ‘magic’. Mistakes really aren’t negatives unless we give them the power and control. Mistakes are life’s dead ends, sometimes they are minor and you hit a curb at other times they leave you with a dent and a large bill from your insurance company…but who wants to exit this world without and a bump and graze to show for your hard effort, more importantly some times getting lost leads to a new road of opportunity, that were better than the way you thought you wanted to go. So give the power in your life to finding magic and if a crocodile pops out of your hat instead of a rabbit…well, think of the money you’ll save on hay.

img_4151

 

 

It’s all messy #life

~ Fridgesays ~ 20 Comments

Quote by William Leal

When I set out to write a motivational blog I knew I’d capture a little of me a long the way. I think it’s important to remind you that my life isn’t perfect, but I have/will always choose to look at my glass of life half full.

However, sometimes things get messy and the roller coaster of life takes a bigger dip than anticipated or stops all together. It’s these days more than most that looking at life with a positive viewpoint is harder but beneficial in the short and long term. These words are as much for me as they are for you – during the messy times in life, its hard to smile and to see a glimmer of light, but I promise you its a choice we all have the power to make.

Sometimes being a parent means I lose a sense of me; I serve my career, I serve my family and then I crawl into bed and when I wake my hair is messy and this is how my day begins. Sometimes I’m trying to create the ultimate Elsa French plait and it ends up looking like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, at that moment in the mirror my world crumbles but in the grand scheme of things…life goes on.

As I get the household ready and scoop them out of the door little jobs get lost a long the way, the dishwasher isn’t turned on or the bed hasn’t been made and usually I forget a coat or cardigan for myself but you’d be surprised at how many lovely people will lend you shelter in a storm.

When people talk, often what they want to say doesn’t flow or they can’t find the right words to express how they feel. Words are complex and without intention we can make hurtful comments, or perhaps just misjudge a situation and although words can be painful…in time the words can be found and relationships can be rebuilt.

The metaphorical heart feels amazing when its found a new love, it expands and flows with ease and life can feel effortless until it suffers rejection, insults and for some deception and heart break. But it can rebuild, given time it can find new things to enjoy and although it may put up some walls of protection it can flourish and see brighter days.

Our actual hearts are complex organs that works to keep our blood flowing and in turn every other organ that we need to live in full operation, it can’t make a fault, take a break or have a bad hair day. We need it. Its superior to modern machinery and it helps us create our life’s cycle, and according to something called ‘Heart Math’ a whole lot more besides.

Perhaps this week ‘life’ will get a little messy, behind the next corner you may find bad hair days and hurtful words or even be let down in ways that you never thought possible by someone you held dear. At the time it may not be OK (and thats OK too) but remind yourself that life is precious and whilst your heart keeps ticking there is always time to repair.

You may need some tools to guide you, Heart Math is taking the world by storm, I googled ‘what is Heart Math’ and got this:

Answer: HeartMath is a unique system of rigorous scientific research, validated techniques, leading-edge products and programs and advanced technologies for people interested in personal development and improved emotional, mental and physical health.

In essence its six long breaths to ‘reset’ your heart thus reducing stress and increasing resilience. Research shows it increases life expectancy and also the positive emotional wellbeing experienced. Its worth a little internet research and passing the technique on to those you love, after all life will always be a little messy.

* written on a Sunday evening with messy, greasy locks that have overdue roots and probably too many split ends…and thats OK too. No PR collaboration – written from the heart.

My goal is to design a life I don’t need a vacation from.

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Quote by Rob Hill (sorry for the reflection of my PJ top in the photo)

Our last holiday was in 2011, it was pre little people and had the added sparkle of an engagement ring.

Since then life has taken over and although we have had breaks and fun a long the way, my case has been discarded in the loft whilst grown up priorities have kidnapped my bank account. This year will be different and I can’t wait.

However, my life aside – imagine a life where you don’t need a vacation because frankly life is already so diverse, incorporates travel and new cultures, where you enjoy your job and don’t feel the need to stop because maybe you already have the balance of calm and relaxation and new and exciting experiences.

This is living.

I feel so very sorry for anyone who hates every working day and lives for that one day off or a week away at some point, that is exhausting. That is surviving and the world is full of so many opportunities, choices and options that to be in a world as I’ve just described surely leads to ill health a life that is unfulfilled and even an early death.

I’d love to say when I’m doing house work Disney bluebirds sit on my shoulder, that I’ve never spent hours in AnE with a sickly child or that dark times haven’t knocked on my door (damn me for being polite, popping the kettle on and inviting the dark times inside my home) of course life isn’t always joyful, if it was we’d take it for granted and wouldn’t appreciate the wonderful moments however small and precious. Many highly successful individuals only reached their dreams due to lack and the desire to improve their current situation rather than wallowing in it – not to mention huge amounts of work and dedication plus working beyond other peoples expectations and perhaps further than they felt they could at the time…but there is a crucial word in this quote.

‘Goal’ something to aim for, something to aspire towards and perhaps never fully achieved BUT a focus for attention and a direction that I am striving for. Sometimes the journey is the joy, the excitement and the thrill to get to a life where a vacation isn’t necessary may seem far fetch, not currently there yet, I can’t tell you the answer but think I’m a step closer by balancing life’s darker days and opening the curtains; shining the light on the things that I do have, showing gratitude for the experiences, tastes and sights my world has experienced

Perhaps it’s time to review your goals in life, what you’d like or where you want to go…or may be like me you’ve found it in this quote.

I used to hope you’d bring me flowers…

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote by the outrageous ‘Anon’
*sorry for the terrible photo quality…reflection / tone, it’s all just wrong.

But the quote speaks volumes to me.

On a personal level my Dad is my first hero. I guess I’ve waited my entire life to find the ‘one’, then when I found my prince he was a miserable git and not exactly the ‘charming’ that my Disney childhood had foreseen…but then Prince C didn’t have a good bicep, an impressive tricep and the banter only a doorman could have. Let’s be honest prince C was a bit of a Ken Barbie doll (and I prefer Action man). Early in our relationship I told him something that was so true in my twenties. Don’t ever buy me cut flowers…they look fabulous and then you sit them in a vase and watch them die – seriously depressing. Then I grew older, used my femine powers and changed my mind. He still stands by my original request and now I’m literally forced to buy myself flowers.

*note to him or anyone: I love being bought flowers.

I guess however this quote goes a little deeper, it’s not about flowers but making your own happiness. Under fridge philosophy (yeah that’s a thing now) I have to agree. Happiness is like a contagious snotty cold, but with less snot and a more powerful energy source than Dyson could invent. When I’m happy the world moves with me and even in darkness only knocks me slightly from my path. Along this path I attract positive energy and this only increased my super power. The choice to be happy.

If I could tell my teenage self one thing, it would be ‘that you choose to be happy’, my friends, family or the lastest NAF NAF tshirt can’t help you either, however in a positive moment family and friends can enhance your flight, and its a precious journey that is sacred.

Growing your own flowers to me is also about sowing the seeds of dreams and goals and seeing them to fruition. I don’t need a charming prince to ‘get me’ a castle, nor do i need him to make me happy. I do need my own goals (the soil), some action and motivation from within (the seeds) and then the positive motion to fuel my growth (water and sun), sure every now and then a slug will come and take a bite out of my dreams, redirect me or even reduce me to a sluggish mess…but it is also me that will get back up and rock my new snail trail sparkle.

So this week no matter what life throws at you. Choose happiness and for god sake buy yourself some flowers and don’t ever feel guilty.

Life is always in motion so I cannot be stuck

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

 Quote by Esther Hicks, the princess of Law of Attraction.

I often feel stuck. Please don’t misinterpret this as I’m grateful  for all I have, for I know it’s much more than most…but stuck is how I often feel.

Stuck with 9am-5pm, which is actually more 7am to silly o’clock, and in seasons gone by the dark nights make feeling stuck a little more like I’m being suffocated.

The bit that I dislike the most is ‘adulting’ between you and me I’m really not a fan. I don’t mind the responsibility or the chores, for me personally it’s the reality of it all. One of my favourite birthday gifts was my 27th. My other half bought me a huge trampoline and I realised (probably whilst jumping up and down) that that is the secret to life…no not trampolines although they are pretty awesome in the fun department, let me explain.

When I was growing up our back garden was a little narrow and had a good gradient to it. So it’s no surprise that giant trampolines (14ft) weren’t practical.

As an adult with a much flatter and wider garden – it was achievable. I think adults often limit the ‘fun’ they have, I also think that we don’t stop to look around. We rush and go from supermarket shop to meetings with friends and family and the motion of life gets distorted. We decide what behaviour is appropriate or immature – in short, we limit ourselves.

I have a solution. I’ve been doing it for a while (within reason) I watch my son and do my best to observe the sights and sounds he sees, I try never to say no when he asks me to read and yes to when he asks me to play. I say within reason as sometimes the adult in me needs to get to work (that sucks).

If you’re reading this then you are blessed – life is still in motion for you, as I’ve written before you are the writer, author and most importantly the creator of your journey. You can live it 9am-5pm like a robotic clock that is consumed by bills and getting by…or you can buy a trampoline and laugh from your toes, smell the daisies or snuggle up with your loved ones and read a good book.

Enjoy the motion of life and make it work at a pace that suits your dreams and aspirations.

I’m not weird…

~ Fridgesays ~ 14 Comments

 Anon strikes again.

This is a classic quote, you’ve probably seen it on tshirts or pencils, perhaps even a mug?

It does however make me chuckle and then make me realise how crazy  this little planet of ours is.

For example furniture at the dump is ‘junk’…in an antique shop it’s a desirable, and even more on trend if we call it ‘vintage’…

With a pinch of perspective we can create negatives or positives. When I was at school and still today the majority of teenagers want to fit in, unique is horrendous and desirable is ‘the same’. We have a really strict uniform policy at the school that I teach at, except for coats…if you look at kids coming in literally 8/10 girls are wearing a khaki  green coat with a fluffy hood trim – teenagers in an attempt to be excepted increase their uniform just by fitting in. Anyone who steps outside of the box, by just a fraction is called weird…

As adults weird becomes unique and although we may still try at times to fit in, most of us and definetly me included aren’t bothered about being slightly off the page. By ‘limited edition’ we transform into desirable individuals and in this day and age technology clones us enough, so this post is a general reminder to love your inner quirks and embrace your individuality – it may be the limited edition quality  that gives you a promotion or new pathway you desire.

If that isn’t enough then another quote by Michael Jackson also resonates with me ‘no one normal ever made history’, perhaps history changing isn’t your thing but how wonderful would it be to impact this world in some small positive way…you have the power to do so. Use it wisely.