inspire

Muscle up buttercup

~ Fridgesays ~ 19 Comments

Quote from Disney’s Moana – by Maui

Welcome to another Disney inspired rambling. Every now and then I seek a top up of Disney vibes, it allows me to be distracted from the adult world and into the enchanting world of make believe.

However, this quote is my new favourite for the very opposite of that reason – it grounds me, affirms me and is in my opinion much like the quote ‘Man up’ but without the need to be gender specific. When I read this quote I don’t feel the need to lift weights or hit the gym (although I have used it with an impressed tone to praise the other half when he has returned from the gym #bonuspoints) in fact me and weights are about as distant as the UK is from Disney World…

To me this quote says ‘Stop. Dig deep, breathe and you are limitless’ and all in three little words. Often when life feels like a struggle we get absorbed by the mundane, the negative and create walls that stop us from being successful. Yesterday I encountered two events that I’d like to share where I used the ‘Muscle up buttercup’ vibes to defeat the negativity of the universe. The first step to being able to do this is staying aware of your current emotion and being aware of others around you.

With this in mind it will be no shock that my first negative encounter was in the supermarket check out queue. Im standing alone in the line when a woman who was unloading her trolley of items on to the conveyer belt on the opposite till to mine made small talk with me.

*Danger zone warning: small talk is usually pointless but nobody wants to be rude (except Mr F, who for this very reason was sat in the car whilst I went into the supermarket)

The lady makes a remark about the warm weather and I rebound her negative comment about it being ‘too warm’ with my love for a hot climate. However round two was seconds away with her comment about how ‘food shopping seems like hard work’, it was at this point that I deployed the ‘Muscle up buttercup ‘ vibes. I asked her if she needed help, she thanked me and declined. I then said I really enjoy buying fresh fruit and vegetables for my family and thought we were lucky to have such an awesome selection available. She smiled and said she hadn’t thought of that…

Without being consumed by her negative attitude, I turned and focused on the nice things I was about to purchase. It would of been easier for me to agree with her, to not offer help and to moan about the weather but that would have impacted my emotions and in turn my day. 

The next encounter with negativity came from my four year old riding his bike – he screamed, yelled, hollered and wailed from the moment his bottom hit the saddle. It made a twenty minute cycle to the village food festival a painful and slow process of mental torture. I chose not to listen and used my teacher skills to block him out, but for him it made a joyful activity hard. Riding his bike felt like work as he reinforced to himself that he ‘couldn’t do it’ and that much like the lady in the supermarket ‘it was too hard’ and the physical application to a fun cycle became a stop start action of distress.

It was at the point where his tears merged with a river of snot that his Daddy reminded him that he ‘could do it’ and reinforced why he was a ‘champion’ on his bike

*Bradley wiggins need not feel threatened

For the last two minutes of the journey he smiled, beamed and rode beautifully. Somewhere between the pep talk and his actions he had 100% applied ‘Muscled up buttercup’. At home he couldn’t stop talking about how he loved riding his bike and whilst my external body language praised him with a smile, I didn’t share the parental frustration of the misery he had caused for the previous hours during his non stop crying. Perhaps that was my ‘muscle up’ moment?

In parent land and also working with teenagers there are many moments of digging deeper and smiling harder. However, there is one secret to being able to activate the ‘muscle up buttercup’ joy – make the choice. Similar to deciding what you’re having for lunch, it often boils down to a decision to choose to smile, the conscious resolution to not talk to yourself negatively and making the choice again and again to be happy. Some moments are harder than others and it can feel at times like there are no buttercups for you to grasp, but that’s when you need a little more ‘muscle up’. Sounds easy enough? Like most things it takes practise but I promise there is nothing as essential to your wellbeing as a sprinkle of happiness. 

Celebrate every tiny victory 

~ Fridgesays ~ 27 Comments

Quote by Anon
This quote excites me. In a ‘live for today ‘way, rather than counting down to the next big event and slowly wishing our days away.

Back in 2009 I was pregnant and like all chaotic moments – buying a house. The year seemed to be eating at our souls slowly, so much to do and so little time to do it in. More terrifying was where to start. It was at this time that my midwife encouraged me to relax more and Mr F started taking me to the pub for a celebratory lemonade (outrageous I know) in the afternoon, it was the last trimester where I was reluctant to leave the house. With money tight we felt the need to have a reason to go out midweek and so we started to celebrate our daily victories. Send paper work off – Chink, to a week later completing a survey on the house or buying a pram – chink. 

Mile stones seem to follow with the birth of a baby; from rolling on their tummy to first steps. Yet just before two years the mile stones ease and the celebrations frequency seems to also.

My ‘to do list’ is endless and although when I complete individual tasks I feel satisfied I never really celebrate the end of the list. I’ve never wrote a Facebook status on the topic, or even tweeted my joy…in fact until now I’ve never taken the time to reflect that I have ever got to the end of the list, perhaps because I’m busy writing tomorrow’s ‘to dos’ and that isn’t healthy or productive. 

Tiny victories make for happy souls. Think how far you’ve come since the start of the year, the month or even what you’ve achieved this week. May be even jot them down.

  • Got home earlier than usual 
  • Cooked dinner, sat and chatted to Mr F over said dinner with candles lit and…
  • Toys cleared away
  • Two loads of washing 
  • Wrote this post 🙂 
  • Participated in a linky by commenting on other blog posts 
  • Updated Instagram @fridgesays and Twitter whatmyfridgesay 
  • Showered 
  • Planned outfit for tomorrow

Okay, so perhaps this isn’t the makings of a God like figure, but this list occurred in a three hour time frame, with family around, distraction and with other many victories in between.
The washing pile took a battering, my blog blossomed, Mr F and I connected and that’s healthy progress, if we slowed down and noted the commendable moments that pass so many of us by, perhaps we would all have a little more self love and less doubt. How many people would love to start a blog but don’t have time are too busy to sit down mid week and share a meal, now before I award myself a medal and you think I’ve lost the plot here comes the magic

You’re victorious too. We all are. We just forget to celebrate it. 

What we don’t realise is that celebrating doesn’t need a social media status, a party for 6000 people or a food/drink reward.

It takes tiny moments and a tiny amount of time to recognise and enjoy the self satisfaction of what we have done, rather than going to bed with a list of all we still have to do, feeling exhausted and like we are failing. 

Today is a gift and that’s why we call it the present, perhaps this is our most precious victory and it isn’t so tiny. 

If you suck at looking at your daily victories, I have a game that may work. 

Just before I pull into my village on the way home I go over my day and remind myself of eight moments where I was successful. (I’m not sure why eight, it just feels right for me) The best bit about this game is I now ask J (aged three) what his favourite moments were, it can easily be adapted. By the time I’ve put the car in neutral and removed the car keys I always feel good about my day and what I have achieved. 

A positive mindset helps you reach your goals quicker, lifts your soul and even makes for a happier being. What’s not to love? Start treasuring your achievements everyday. You are victorious 


Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist

~ Fridgesays ~ 30 Comments

Quote by Joy.F

When I was a little princess I lived high up on a hill, I had a pink room papered with tiny rose buds and was surrounded by dolls and love.  I was a lucky little lady, and as I grew (perhaps its the only child in me) I expected the best and knew that my knight in shining Dad armour would protect me from the horrors of the world.

My childhood was padded, corners were eradicated with strategically placed cushions. My garden toys, slide and swing both had protective rubber at the bottom – heaven forbid I hit the rough edges of the grass.

Due to health issues Gluten was my nemesis, so I battled hard with the force that is ‘My Mummy’, she checked labels, made from scratch and in an era without gluten free foods abundant on supermarket shelves and with no access to the internet she became the lighthouse of knowledge on all things GF. At birthday parties I had a packed lunch, at play dates she baked biscuits…she was my Delia delight because I was never once aware of being any different from anyone else.

I was allowed the freedom to be what ever I wanted to be. This was one of the greatest gifts that my family gave me. The gift to dream.

I kissed many frogs – some more ‘Toad of Toad Hall’ than had any handsome prince potential, but a young girl has to find these things out for herself. Its part of the adventure and makes for a fabulous cliff hanger.

I became an amalgamation of most of the Disney Princess’s, my imagination is at times so far fetched I have trouble working out how to get back to reality. I can be as feisty and independent as Elsa (although I could never live on a snow capped mountain, I’m pathetic in the cold weather), as vulnerable as Cinderella; sometimes we need to be whisked away and cared for, although I would never be so careless as to mislay a shoe, plus I’m not a night owl so I worry about turning into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight if I’m not tucked up in bed with a camomile tea by my side (so ghetto).

I can be as care free as Lilo, my labrador is more practical than stitch – she can fetch. Ive had my wild Merinda hair moments and had to overcome situations beyond my comfort zone.

I am a princess. I live the fairy tale.

I also have a career, my own family, responsibilities and Ive become a woman that carries tissues and light snacks in her handbag amongst the Dior lipgloss and DKNY sunglasses.

If you think I have it all, you are wrong – there would never be a sequel if happily ever after was so simple. I battle my own demons and struggle with my own issues daily, have things I want to improve, goals I want to reach BUT I choose to look through fairy tale glasses.

It’s a choice like what I’ll eat at Breakfast. Fairy tale eyes let’s me escape the dull and mundane and with the average Disney film lasting approximately 90minutes I still have time to fantasise and do the dishes…I’m just waiting for seven dwarfs to arrive and half a dozen bluebirds to dust my living room. You can get these on Amazon right?

Perspective is something I often end up writing about, I’m sure its because as I grow mine alters and experiences cause me to change my opinions. This quote is shouting out that you can already have the fairy tale – that you’ve been living it since the day you was born…if thats how you decide to see each day.

Perhaps you aren’t a natural glass half full person, or may be you’ve been the ugly sister, Genie in the lamp for others for a little too long. For what its worth I believe you can still go to the ball, live happily ever after and slay any dragons along the way. To do this will take courage to change and small steps to a better tomorrow, but if we’re honest we have all wondered what happened to the ugly sisters anyway….perhaps they won the lottery, found some spiritual alignment, loved themselves and ran away in the night with a hansom man from another kingdom. Or may be they learnt to knit, sorted that cupboard out and got dinner ready on time to watch Eastenders.

Enjoy the journey of your own happy ever after. what Disney character resonates with you?


 

  

Be a Mermaid and make waves 

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

As long term readers will know when I grow up I want to be a mermaid, anything vaguely mermaid related appeals to me and as I’ve grown older I’ve also realised that I want to live in tropical waters, I’ve watched enough episodes of ‘location location’ to know that ethos/environment matter; we’re talking clear water, tropical fish terrain not Brighton in the winter for I fear my shells would shrivel and if I’m honest my shell area is already on the petite size.

As a result this quote screamed out ‘oh use me – and why not write about the quote whilst you’re on holiday’ so here I am – writing. 

On the plane I’ve just watched a film called ‘The Boss’ with Melissa McCarthy and Kirsten Bell and it did make me giggle. The lead character is a feisty woman who see’s a vision (in this particular example by selling chocolate brownies) and goes for it. I thought of the quote instantly ‘make a splash’ – how many of us hold back, may be only slightly in case our splash is too large and it may make others wet or in the real world ‘piss people off’ or perhaps like me we hide behind excuses of being busy, a full time mum – you name it I’ve used it. Why? Because what if my splash doesn’t resemble Ariels in The Little Mermaid and is just a puddle… 

Fear however if far worse than any puddle…when you have a puddle at least you know a cloud did its job and rained, or more likely in my home – mummy broke the tap and flooded the joint. It doesn’t matter how the puddle arrived, someone somewhere helped it to happen, someone did something. Fear however can be paralysing, fear stops dreams in its tracks and turns a splash from a mermaid into…empty rocks.

So may be I’m not a Mermaid (yet) although beach permitting I’ll be giving it my best shot and may be I’ll never fulfil all my dreams but I’m going to give it a damn good go. 

One of my plans whilst I’m away is to write in my journal and I also want to blast through some new books that I’ve packed…

Like the start of a new year, a holiday is a great time to return refreshed and re-energised and ready to step it up and make some waves, and who knows I might even start to grow a fin or a glimmer of scales whilst I’m away?

What are your dreams and what are your ‘Wave’ blocks preventing you from fulfilling the ultimate big splash?

 

You are suppose to make mistakes 

~ Fridgesays ~ 26 Comments

img_4081Quote by Anon.

Today I’m going to let you in to a secret, don’t tell anyone okay…

Mistakes are magic. There I said it (well wrote it?) and its true. When my son doesn’t understand something, or is watching Disney and asks a question I can’t answer, I tell him its magic. How the tooth fairy operates – magic, how Father Christmas travels the world in one night visiting every child..you guessed it ‘Magic’ , how the dishwasher makes our plates sparkle, once again ‘Magic’. No three year old needs to be aware of kitchen appliances unless it associates with some kind of abracadabra factor. Any kind of unknown that falls in to the magic category is usually positive and far more exciting than reality.

the definition of ‘magic’ is;

noun

 1.
  1. the power of apparently influencing events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
    “suddenly, as if by magic, the doors start to open”

On the other hand mistakes are often negative, regretful and ugly. The events trickle into various pools of life that you often want to protect and so over time the human brain builds thick walls to seal them in and protect them from the light of day…sadly the equally powerful ‘time’ creates cracks in the walls and mistakes flow from directions we didn’t even know existed.

Where is my brain going with this? Well, if mistakes are negative and allow us to draw conclusions that we usually later learn from then the opposite is positive and full of wonder and possibility – magic.

Im not sure I’ve got all of this ‘life’ business down to a tee, but I do know that I want a life full of magic and excitement, it is no coincidence that the Paul Daniels Magic trick set was popular in the 1980’s and in fact on every child’s Christmas list in 1987 ( I didn’t get it but my cousin Laura did and it was epic, if by epic you like a lump of rope and several coloured squidgy balls), he was and still is a national treasure, his saturday night entertainment was family orientated and spectacular, plus Debbie was gorgeous and when you found out they were married in ‘real life’ every thing on screen became a little more amazing.

Whilst we aspire to a life full of dazzle and wonder perhaps there may be tricks a long the way to distract us…this is just a mistake that once learnt from allows us to improve, succeed and create ‘magic’. Mistakes really aren’t negatives unless we give them the power and control. Mistakes are life’s dead ends, sometimes they are minor and you hit a curb at other times they leave you with a dent and a large bill from your insurance company…but who wants to exit this world without and a bump and graze to show for your hard effort, more importantly some times getting lost leads to a new road of opportunity, that were better than the way you thought you wanted to go. So give the power in your life to finding magic and if a crocodile pops out of your hat instead of a rabbit…well, think of the money you’ll save on hay.

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My goal is to design a life I don’t need a vacation from.

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Quote by Rob Hill (sorry for the reflection of my PJ top in the photo)

Our last holiday was in 2011, it was pre little people and had the added sparkle of an engagement ring.

Since then life has taken over and although we have had breaks and fun a long the way, my case has been discarded in the loft whilst grown up priorities have kidnapped my bank account. This year will be different and I can’t wait.

However, my life aside – imagine a life where you don’t need a vacation because frankly life is already so diverse, incorporates travel and new cultures, where you enjoy your job and don’t feel the need to stop because maybe you already have the balance of calm and relaxation and new and exciting experiences.

This is living.

I feel so very sorry for anyone who hates every working day and lives for that one day off or a week away at some point, that is exhausting. That is surviving and the world is full of so many opportunities, choices and options that to be in a world as I’ve just described surely leads to ill health a life that is unfulfilled and even an early death.

I’d love to say when I’m doing house work Disney bluebirds sit on my shoulder, that I’ve never spent hours in AnE with a sickly child or that dark times haven’t knocked on my door (damn me for being polite, popping the kettle on and inviting the dark times inside my home) of course life isn’t always joyful, if it was we’d take it for granted and wouldn’t appreciate the wonderful moments however small and precious. Many highly successful individuals only reached their dreams due to lack and the desire to improve their current situation rather than wallowing in it – not to mention huge amounts of work and dedication plus working beyond other peoples expectations and perhaps further than they felt they could at the time…but there is a crucial word in this quote.

‘Goal’ something to aim for, something to aspire towards and perhaps never fully achieved BUT a focus for attention and a direction that I am striving for. Sometimes the journey is the joy, the excitement and the thrill to get to a life where a vacation isn’t necessary may seem far fetch, not currently there yet, I can’t tell you the answer but think I’m a step closer by balancing life’s darker days and opening the curtains; shining the light on the things that I do have, showing gratitude for the experiences, tastes and sights my world has experienced

Perhaps it’s time to review your goals in life, what you’d like or where you want to go…or may be like me you’ve found it in this quote.

I used to hope you’d bring me flowers…

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote by the outrageous ‘Anon’
*sorry for the terrible photo quality…reflection / tone, it’s all just wrong.

But the quote speaks volumes to me.

On a personal level my Dad is my first hero. I guess I’ve waited my entire life to find the ‘one’, then when I found my prince he was a miserable git and not exactly the ‘charming’ that my Disney childhood had foreseen…but then Prince C didn’t have a good bicep, an impressive tricep and the banter only a doorman could have. Let’s be honest prince C was a bit of a Ken Barbie doll (and I prefer Action man). Early in our relationship I told him something that was so true in my twenties. Don’t ever buy me cut flowers…they look fabulous and then you sit them in a vase and watch them die – seriously depressing. Then I grew older, used my femine powers and changed my mind. He still stands by my original request and now I’m literally forced to buy myself flowers.

*note to him or anyone: I love being bought flowers.

I guess however this quote goes a little deeper, it’s not about flowers but making your own happiness. Under fridge philosophy (yeah that’s a thing now) I have to agree. Happiness is like a contagious snotty cold, but with less snot and a more powerful energy source than Dyson could invent. When I’m happy the world moves with me and even in darkness only knocks me slightly from my path. Along this path I attract positive energy and this only increased my super power. The choice to be happy.

If I could tell my teenage self one thing, it would be ‘that you choose to be happy’, my friends, family or the lastest NAF NAF tshirt can’t help you either, however in a positive moment family and friends can enhance your flight, and its a precious journey that is sacred.

Growing your own flowers to me is also about sowing the seeds of dreams and goals and seeing them to fruition. I don’t need a charming prince to ‘get me’ a castle, nor do i need him to make me happy. I do need my own goals (the soil), some action and motivation from within (the seeds) and then the positive motion to fuel my growth (water and sun), sure every now and then a slug will come and take a bite out of my dreams, redirect me or even reduce me to a sluggish mess…but it is also me that will get back up and rock my new snail trail sparkle.

So this week no matter what life throws at you. Choose happiness and for god sake buy yourself some flowers and don’t ever feel guilty.

To have great poets…

~ Fridgesays ~ 4 Comments

Quote by Walt Whitman

Now not that you aren’t a fab audience but I love to write poetry and keep it to myself. It’s a stress reliever – I’ve also not matured in the poet sense of appreciation and so all my poems HAVE to rhymn, a bit like a seven year old…goat, bloat and float, you get the level of my pen and paper ability?

Maybe in time I will post some, I write it in the most sparkly note book known to pen kind..with sparkly water melon pieces all over it. Amazing 🙂


Poetry allows me to regress in to a magical world (enhanced by sparkly watermelon pieces) and together they also bring me closer to my Grandad who passed away too long ago. He was amazing at so many things, creative, fixing things, making me smile, and he also was a kind soul…he sucked at cooking, and his driving was ‘unique’, he was also horrified when my little cousins named there Guinea Pig after him (hehe)  but after he passed away the family found a book of pencilled poetry / lymrics that he had created. Sadly the pencil had faded but through the pages I found a love and a passion that I wasn’t aware of, a new aspect of my Grandads’ personality. This blog is obviously a public creative outlet for me, unlike my poems which are a little closer to my heart.

Wellbeing and balance are so essential, I hope I never stop writing about them. I completely see why colouring for adults has taken the world by storm and also why so many are drawn to it (drawn hehe), I plan to give it ago later this year (for some reason I think I need to be snuggled by a fire with a hot drink for me to colour in?)

Do you have a creative outlet or have you tried colouring in for a sense of calm / wellbeing? If so I’d love to hear from you.

Before I finish this piece however, I feel it necessary to also agree with the quote above. Walt makes a very important point and since the current UK education system seems to be slashing the arts in our schools I feel its essential that our children are able to experience and share art (in whatever form it resonates with them) and also to say that Drama in particularly was key to my growth, my wellbeing and my education. Seeing audiences relate to my characters has given me a sense of worth that allowed me to flourish, to take on more diverse roles and those skills are ingrained in my soul and make me who I am. So to all the audiences (paid, bribed or in rehearsal) who ever watched and reflected; thank you.

It’s easy to be brave from a distance

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Proverb by Aesop 

This reminds me of the playground as a fight breaks out. Not the actual fight, but the pathetic individuals that are choosing to stand by and watch. Lapping up the atmosphere of negativity, encouraging the fight with chants that will haunt the victim scrabbling on the floor well into their forties.

Am I against fighting? Not at all – Marshall arts has done more for resilience building that any leadership training course I’ve ever been part of, Boxing and MMA needs spectators and is an awesome all round fitness sport…but when questioning the children standing around the edge they aren’t the confident individuals they were during the chant, nor are they brave.

Brave is the kid that stands between them, stupid is the teacher at 4ft11 (over 5ft in my heels) who’s adrenaline places them in between and who’s voice booms a clear instruction to stop, that desperses the crowd…

How often have I left a conversation with a parent or manager and wishes i’d said something else, how many hours have I reinacted conversations in my head about ‘what I should of said’…these to are not brave. 

Brave is standing by what you know is right. I’d be hypocritical to say I always do this – it’s something you have to be aware of, to engage in the moment. Sometimes no matter how transparent we are, curbing our thoughts and preventing them forming into words is just as brave. In 2006 I found a motto to life that has stuck with me (I nearly got the Latin translation tattooed on me; don’t panic Mum it never happened) and that is…

‘If you do something with good intentions, only good can come from it’

Even if you’ve seriously made an error in judgement, with good intentions comes good vibes and ultimately a less severe consequence for everyone involved. 

So while I get back to the playground, be brave and always say what you think is best in the moment, act in the moment and never judge from a distance – because that’s easy and you’re better than that.

Go the extra mile

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

  
Quote by the wonderful and talents (all be it slightly bashful) Anon.

Don’t panic this post doesn’t mention the swear word ‘exercise’.

The quote doesn’t require me to delve into a huge ramble of meaning and metaphor, instead it says it all. I adore a quote that hits you with motivation and love and then walks away, I imagine it’s must like David Beckham walking over to you for a peck on the cheek (okay, that would be way better right?) you think at the time you’ll be cool, sassy and looking totes hot – instead you are blushing like a strawberry and wearing stretchy pants (Victoria wouldn’t approve of either the peck or the stretchy trousers)… I digress 

I guess simply many people settle. They plan small and within the reality of now, they settle and make adjustments where necessary, they live day to day and then one day…they die

Not sounding like the usual ‘fridge vibes’ because I spend my life (in my head) screaming at people to want more, to go bigger to enjoy the enjoyment, to actually feel ‘life’ before its gone and sure we all get caught up in the supermarket shop and the kids homework…but we can all dream and live a bit bigger right? Otherwise what’s the point and how come ‘other’ people achieve the things we desire? Because they dare to.

I have a good friend who is currently talking about marriage to a man who, when she got with originally thought was ‘too nice’. 

My Mum has ‘best China’

Other friends are happy settled in finances stretching to a holiday every other year and all the bills paid.

Now I’m hoping that if you’re reading and following the fridge and all its lovely positive contents – maybe your are ready or have  already gone the extra mile.

Settle only with the best of partners, eat off the fancy plates and dream big…because that’s life and what’s the point in life if your goals are around painting fences and a week in Majorca…and if your are the Majorca / fence person then go with the top brand stainer and upgrade to all inclusive. 

*im sure Majorca is lovely, sorry for picking on you.