inspire

Owning less is better than organising more

~ Fridgesays ~ 32 Comments

Quote by Joshua Becker

This quote resonated with me as I have a dream. To live in a minamilist house with a few precious objects. White clean lines and quality rather than quantity…

The current reality is a three bedroom house full of plastic (seriously my child is a plastic magnet), dog hair and crap that I might need ‘one day’. I’m not a hoarder or collector and I’m not a fan of ornaments, I like objects to have purpose SO WHY DO I OWN SO MUCH STUFF? I don’t go shopping that often and over the last few years I have refused to shop in many high street shops swapping quantity for classic pieces that are better quality, I even have a charity bag on the go all the time….still we have stuff everywhere? 

My house is like some sort of Bermuda Triangle of stuff, it seeps in through the cracks and clutters the side boards and surfaces. I’m purposely using the word stuff as I’m not sure what we have… most of it is practical, used and loved and I’m even thinking of moving house as an excuse to chuck it all (the actual reality would be a million boxes I’d never get around to unpacking and probably the purchase of even more stuff)

So, for once I don’t have the answers, not even close. Instead I’m asking you for advice on how to minamilise before I suffocate in stuff and drown in a pile of a toys. My living room looks like Toys R Us and only the bathroom is clutter free; even then I have to keep an eye on the ratio of bath water to plastic toys in my sons baths. Work surfaces that I clean are filled in an instant, Paper flows through our letter box like the scene from Harry Potter – the irony is that only one local take away will actually deliver to our village, so why do I need 65 flyers of exotic food that I can’t order? Then, why do those flyers get stuck on sideboards around the home, poked in corners and laid on the bottom of our staircase for days, weeks and in some cases months. 

Sorry to rant, although I do feel better – they say writing is therapy after all? In this case any practical tips would be welcome in the comment section, because honestly owning less would be so much less organising… 

Love a Minimalist wannabe x 

There is beauty in simplicity 

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote Anon.

A while a go I was nominated by my blogging bestie Hayley from Mission Mindfulness to share my five favourite things. The post link was originally started by Mumzilla and as I’m a huge fan of anything that can be linked to gratitude, I thought I’d give it a go. Except I’m not really a fan of ‘stuff’ if anything I’m trying to move the mindset of my twenties that shopping is life and stuff makes me feel good… 

What’s even weirder is upon reflection, I couldn’t think of five things? Now as many of you know shoes are a thing I do enjoy. They didn’t make my top five though because I would never want to pick a particular heel over another, each pair has an outfit or occasion which would make it number one (*As you can see I’ve still got some work on being materialist)

These are the things I have selected, in the background is…


1). My yoga mat and block 

Why? I love yoga and I’m secretly competitive with myself and enjoy the progress I’ve made. I indulge in one to one classes each week and it makes me feel amazing. It’s my time to be ME. I’m not mummy, teacher or any other demand, it’s just my body mind and mat coming together. If I’m honest it’s my therapy into the week ahead. 

2). Hashtag Amazing Mug 


One of my pupils bought this for me for no reason other than she saw it and thought of me. It was an unexpected gift of delight and imbedded my belief that teenagers are just as thoughtful as any other generation. I do say “hashtag amaze” all the time and so it’s also very me and appropriate. 

3). Crystals 


This piece is Stilbite and Apophyllite (technically two pieces intwinned together) and lives on my bedside table. It is known for being good for meditation and used to contact guardian angels. It can help anxiety and stress but mainly I adore the fusion of the two crystals and think it’s pretty beautiful. Mother Nature is an awesome power house. 

4). Candles by Neom 


Can you tell I’m a female in my thirties? This scent is perfect. I usually go for a light cotton linen scent in candles, this is just a little different, more indulgent and my absolute favourite. It’s usually reserved as a Christmas gift and it lasts for such a long time. It’s like heaven in my living room. 

5). Engagement ring 


I do love a sparkle and picked this myself from an amazing selection of jewellery shops in Barbados. The stones around the edge are diamonds and the centre stone is a type of Amethyst that’s comes from the region. It seems to alter its colours in the light. Mr F and I met, feel in love and got engaged on this wonderfully little island so it’s more than just a ring to me. We recently returned in 2016 for our sons first holiday and I don’t plan to stop ever returning. 

Isn’t it funny how simple the objects I’ve picked are? Perhaps humans aren’t so complex after all? (Who am I kidding) 

To keep the gratitude and reflection going I’ve selected three more bloggers. However, if you would like to take part please do. 

My nominations:

Alana from Burnished chaos

Jess from Prosecco Mum

Miss Anon from The Single Swan

The Saturday Sesh #6

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

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As we wave good bye to September and embrace the colder nights of October, it is with a warm embrace that I say thank you for joining our community of awesomeness and joy. This week I thought I’d start with a sprinkle of gratitude, giving thank’s for a sprinkle of self love and the benefits of making time to chill (in what was a crazy week of meetings and events), managing the demands of the world don’t get any easier, but I’m getting better at prioritising and also making time to ground myself. I hope you made some ‘you’ time also.

Every week myself and Hayley pick a featured blogger each from all #thesatsesh members who have linked up with us in the previous link, as I’m still having coding issues, it is with great Pleasure that I’d like to ask Lisa to click here to collect her badge – in fact why don’t you all press the link and see who Hayley has picked. Ops, I gave mine away 🙂 This week I really enjoyed reading the passion behind Lisa Pomerantzster’s Post on Edie Windsor’s sad passing, but clearly the love and respect Lisa has for her as an icon. I picked the piece as I adore learning and didn’t know enough about this remarkable lady (now I do), but mostly as previously mentioned I felt the love in Lisa’s words. It also made me reflect on who my icons are?

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So lets get this new weeks linky going, here are a few rules, so please don’t link and run, its not cool and its not what #thesatsesh is about. As always if you need help or advice please let us know my emailing here and we will reply ASAP.

RULES:

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add the #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on ONE of each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but four is plenty. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep you up to date and follow you back.

What My Fridge Says
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Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles 

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

Anon, *although I like to think Mary Berry or Delia came up with this little gem.  

Cake and magic in one quote is always going to get my attention. Firstly, I believe I’m a cupcake. Of course I have muffin moments, but I believe there are great things to come with sprinkles on top. Every child I teach and especially my son – I want cupcakes for their lives, but more importantly I want them to have the inner hope that miracles happen and no matter how bleak today was, tomorrow will always be better.

It’s easy to be a muffin. To lack the sparkle and glitz of a cupcake. After all everyone knows sprinkles on cupcakes are compulsory. I’m also partial to a ratio of more icing than cake. 

Muffins are wholesome and I imagine (if they could) they would shop in sensible shops and alway have a cagoule or umberella in their bag just in case. Muffins are usually packed with something non-naughty like raisins, nuts, seeds and fruit and that’s okay. Seriously, my previous post was all about not judging and would be easy to slate and hate on the healthy muffin option, compared to the glitz and glam of the cupcake… but that’s not my style or what I think this quote is about. 

I think we all have muffin moments, especially when pregnant and just after (okay, years after for me), we eat well and get by, we rock the messy bun and frankly we get stuck in a rut of the same two outfits, the comfy cardigan or the pumps that are easy to slip on by the front door. It’s essential at this point that we don’t judge because easy access shoes are fab and with Autumn looming I’m all about a snuggly cardigan. I think this quote is about reminding us to not slip into a rut because we’ve forgot the ten thousands pairs of shoes hidden in our wardrobe, perhaps the hat with the cute logo or the over sized sunglasses that make you feel like a film star. It’s these moments when we become a cupcake. 

It’s probably not healthy to eat cupcake everyday, but life is too precious to be a muffin forever more. So this is a post to remind us to rock the shoes, wear the outfit that’s 100% impractical but 1000% fabulous…add the icing and enjoy the things that make you happy. As always from my fridge doors – dare to dream and go for it.

Be different babe

~ Fridgesays ~ 32 Comments

Quote Anon

During my time at university I house shared with four other girls. We were all pretty amicable and we took it in turns to cook and weekly shopped together. It was during this time that I learnt there are a million ways to cook Spaghetti Bolognese that are nothing like my Mum would do. Adding mushrooms was fine and something I’d consider adding now, carrots seemed very amicable and almost Italian until one chick added what can only be described as ‘bendy’ carrots and we had to have a word with her. Ultimately it wasn’t fair on our stomachs lining and the carrots had escaped the pot long enough to be put to rest in a refuse centre somewhere far away. (R.I.P bendy carrots)

What I learnt was the old phrase of ‘there are more ways than one to skin a cat’ or in this case, cook a mid week spag bog. (Way more animal friendly when using Quorn, sorry cat lovers).

At the moment social media is enjoying looking at gender in young children and making comments on the toys they should and shouldn’t have, I think there is also a blogger who has written about her son being denied a princess Disney experience. So, as a blogger I thought I’d give my opinion on the topic – I couldn’t give a crap.

I don’t care if my son, or any child of any gender, non gender or polka dot gender wants to play with a pink sparkly doll or a transformer. I eat Yorkie chocolate bars on principle that they are advertised as ‘not for girls’ and all I actually care about is that my son is happy and healthy, or any other polka dot child previously mentioned. Be different babe, or don’t be different – it doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy. Some people love to be unique and others strive to fit in, some bubble along in the middle. Ultimately, society will judge (me included, especially after a GnT) and thats okay too. Whats not okay if for me to force my opinion on you to a point where you feel you need to change. Freedom of speech / rights are lovely phrases that comes with A LOT of really important small print. Ultimately you can squeeze it down to several sentences:

  • You CAN say what you want BUT you can’t offend someone
  •  Slander can get you in prison (and rightly so)
  • If nobody asked you for your opinion keep it to yourself, oh and the classic parenting quote ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’

Over the last few weeks millions of children will start new schools, colleges and Universities, over the last month parents have argued with those children as they battle to find ‘the right school shoes’ or the bag that is acceptable. I even heard a child crying in a local supermarket as her Mum was insistent on buying her ‘the wrong’ skirt. She wanted the one with the bow in the middle; don’t tell her Mum but the kid was right, it was way cuter with the bow. Anyway, I digress, the point I’m making is that many of those people will make fake friends as they battle like sardines to find a place to belong, any place – just to feel like they fit in…except they wont belong, the good news is they will form friendships by Christmas that are based on things that matter like shared interests, morals and the ability to make each other laugh, oh and the girl in the supermarkets Mum will be right, the bow will also have dropped off by Christmas and I totally understand why she isn’t paying an extra £3 for it.

I selected this quote for its simplicity and frankly I agree ‘Be different babe’ but if you don’t want to be different thats okay, just don’t feed me bendy carrots.


 

Tears are words the heart can’t say

~ Fridgesays ~ 53 Comments

Quote from Gerard Way

Have you ever been to a funeral, wedding or a supermarket and cried, yet deep down you aren’t really sure why?

I’ve decided that speaking is over rated, which will come as a shock for those that know me, especially my Mum. I have verbal diarrhoea most of the time. That said, my best bits of my day are usually moments of still, calm and peace in a life of chaos and sounds, tick lists and diary plans. It’s in these moments that I find true happiness, it can be seeing the sun rise or set, having white washing on the line (fresh linen is one of my favourite smells), it can be pizza in the oven or even better delivered on my doorstop with no hassle from me, but very often it’s a hug from a friend rather than the words that accompany it that I like the most.

Sometimes I cry and am not sure why I’m crying. I can cry because I’m happy, over excited or overwhelmed. At other times I can’t remember the last time I had a ‘good cry’ and that’s usually the time I decide to put on a romantic comedy and tear jerk my way through ninety   minutes of delight and despair, the cheesier the better and served with pizza is once again a bonus.

When I was learning to live with grief I had a Marmite moment. Perhaps you’ve had one of these? It goes like this:

It was around 11am and I fancied something to eat, I decided on some marmite and toast. As I was buttering the toast I began to cry, I wasn’t really sure why I was crying so carried on buttering and blubbering. As I reached for the Marmite I began to laugh at myself and it was at this point Mr F walked in to find me sobbing my heart out, snot flowing, hyperventilating gasps and laughing all at the same time. His response was priceless and went something like “if you don’t like Marmite just have butter’ this of course made me laugh a little more and eventually in a big hug I was able to explain that I didn’t have a clue why I was crying. He then laughed at me and said it was grief and that it often catches you out at the most odd moments. Since then I’ve always been cautious with Marmite on toast and fully understand that it’s okay to not always know why you feel the way you do. You just do.

I do think those magic tears often allow us to vent emotions that the mouth can’t process. I think they are fundamentally important to our wellbeing and although I don’t cry very often, I sometimes allow myself to wallow in them or break out in laughter tears which always let me know life is pretty spectacular.

Some people don’t cry, ever. I’m not convinced and wonder if they let it out in different ways – perhaps their eyelids get sweaty? Have you ever had a Marmite moment or cried just because? I can’t be the only one…can I?

You gotta nourish to flourish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Every now and then I see a quote and it lights my universe. 

At the moment I am planning kitchen renovations and I wouldn’t mind this little quote hanging somewhere? Food for thought (See what I did there)

Nourish according to the dictionary means ‘to provide food or the opportunities for people to grow and be in good condition’ 

If I’m honest when I see the word nourish I think of food, but what else do we need?

Self belief: if you can dream it, then you can make it happen. This is essential not just to be able to flourish but to be able to sustain any kind of growth (and that includes happiness) 

Drive and desire: these are easy to have and harder to actually make happen. Usually because they require us to get out of our comfort zone and perhaps even take a risk or two. I’ve found since becoming a parent that often the risk is scarier because of my son. However, surely the dream is always ultimately the better finish line for him to see me arrive at?

Tribe: a good family, neighbours, work colleagues and friends all help to make a little ‘you’ community. When the chips are down, don’t panic – team ‘you’ will be there like a giant pillow of love and comfort – looking around and it’s a bit sparse, no problem, sometimes the harder moments let us know which team members require demotion. 

Wellbeing: be it physical or mental you need to make your health number one. Balance is key to this; I’ve written thousands of posts on the issue so for more info read everything I’ve ever written, pretty much – give or take a gratitude post, oh…

Gratitude: a sprinkle of thanks and a piece of humble pie can not only make you a favourite amongst your tribe but you’ll find you manifest and receive even more than you thought possible…seriously Beyoncé and all the big divas are always thanking the people that surround them. 

P.s. Not such a big diva as Queen B but thanks for reading and I hope you leave a little more nourished. If not, what area do you need to step it up in? 

I don’t hold grudges, you just become irrelevant 

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by…the one and only Anon. 

This post is about how harsh and non emotional I can be. Since as long as I can remember I do not hold the ability to forgive, forget or even realise people that hurt me exist. I can cut emotions ties and literally forget that they ever were part of my world…or so I thought until I wrote this post.

I think it probably began with the girl at Nursery (aged 3) pinched me. I couldn’t be friends with her when she started my secondary school over ten years later. I didn’t forget. 

There was the ex boyfriend who I’ve watched treat every woman he has ever dated awfully. Over the years he has caused serious heart ache to many and perhaps once I held a grudge. Now, he is irrelevant and I pity his lack of ability to love honestly and truly. Time heals but in my case it seems to blur to the point I no longer care. 

Several years a go there was a murder of a young boy called Anthony Walker, the attack was racist and brutal. His mother publically forgave the murderers. It happened before I became a parent, but I knew she was sincere and inspirational. I knew I wouldn’t have the capacity to forgive as she had done. Gee Walker became my inspiration – I aspire to her sincerity and clarity of emotions. 

Forgiveness can release you from anger, illness and heightened negativity. Grudges only cause bitterness in those who hold it – not those it’s aimed at. So why is it so hard to forgive? 

I wish I had ‘the top ten ways’ to release anyone from negative emotions. I don’t. In truth it’s a battle I often come across in my own life. For me neutralising the emotion and making them irrelevant, like the quote suggests does help me to feel free of the negativity, but in truth I guess by making someone ‘irrelevant’ you care enough to put them in a ‘I don’t care’ category, which when I was smaller I distinctly remember being a hot air balloon, it was rammed with sarcastic teacher and kids who I didn’t like and the balloon was always a one way trip. Good bye! 

Whilst thinking about my own lack of forgiveness (seriously I can be harsh) the list of people who have made it to my ‘I don’t care’ list / hot air balloon ride is long and I know why each of them made it to my naughty list, which means I still hold a grudge…

Other inspirations for putting emotions aside is when parents separate and ‘for the sake of the kids’ (or their own sanity) stay on positive terms. Love is complex and broken hearts can be bitter and messy. It doesn’t surprise me that for your children couples often make it work in a platonic way, full credit due when this can be achieved, I know it’s not always an option. 

How do you deal with forgiveness and do you have any tips for others? …because I’m asking for a friend 😉 

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.

~ Fridgesays ~ 33 Comments

Quote from Seth Gadin.

I’ve mentions numerous times in posts that I spent my childhood bubble wrapped due to my Dads overwhelming need to ensure my safety. Ultimately this has meant that I’m not exactly an adventure seeker…I’m more ‘glamp than camp’ and more ‘all inclusive than gap year’. 

In recent years, since raising my son I’ve had to move out of my comfort zone in order to allow him to see me role model both trying new things and pushing boundaries. In case you think this post is about selling all your worldly possessions and moving to Antarctica – you are very wrong. 

We all live in a comfort zone of what makes us happy and we all have our individual thresholds for what scares us or that we perceive we ‘can’t do’. For some it’s a trip to the Dentist, others it’s a fear of deep water or my son it’s generally everything. The annoying this about his emotional breakdowns of ‘Mummy I can’t do it…” is that within minutes of trying he usually aces things. He turned four in March and can swim unaided and ride his bike without stabilisers…the tears are unnecessary (try telling him that). 

I make plans to scare myself or push myself every few months, it’s good for the soul and good for my development and progression. I can’t think of anything worse than becoming stagnant. 

In the coming months I’m embarking on a new linky with a lovely companion, Hayley from Mission Mindfulness by my side. I’m not sure what coding or running a linky really entails? I’ve done some research and I’m willing to make mistakes and put in the work required to make it a success…that’s living and not settling. 

I guess this crazy world is here for us to explore and taste, to meet new people and form new bonds. Otherwise you can plod a long until your last day, with only the Tesco shop on a Tuesday to get you out of the home.

Sometimes when I have a mental block against something I use EFT. There are many websites and links that can explain it better than I could. You may wish to use a practitioner to guide you then DNA unleashed is a good start, there is also some blurb on this website about what the technique can offer, in essence it can help with anything from a phobia to a past trauma or everyday stress. 

Whatever your blocks, use this moment as a sign to attack your fears. They don’t have to be huge and may seem mundane to others. Warning: satisfaction from making progress is highly addictive and can lead to a better quality of life. 

*Links not PR related and words and thoughts are my own 


 

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.