Try to be like the turtle, at ease in it’s own shell

Abandoned the quotes this week and gone into the depths of an old proverb.

If you’ve dropped into this little corner of the internet previously you’ll know that ‘The Fridge’ is all about self love. How could we not discuss how awesome these wise words are.

The gorgeous Alicia Keys has been the Spotify choice of go-to music lately; her vibe is cool, calm and many of her tracks are already iconic. Before this becomes the unofficial AK fan page, I need to let you know one more awesome fact about her. She wears very little makeup and chooses to wear her hair in a natural state…did I mention she’s absolutely stunning and a successful singer songwriter? Inspired by her empowerment for everything human and real, I gave up makeup cold turkey about a month ago.

I didn’t tell anyone, I just didn’t slap it on. Nobody asked or questioned my decision, in fact at school a lovely work colleague gave me a thoughtful compliment about how beautiful my skin is (even more grateful to hear that because I also was a paranoid about a spot that appeared over night and looks like it’s squatting and here to stay for sometime) I do plan to wear make up again but not daily and certainly only when I feel like it. I save around twenty minutes in the morning and I use that to get chores done or sometimes I just sit down and day dream with a cup of tea. Bliss.

In a world that is becoming increasingly complex, filtered, altered and at times overly negative about people’s physical appearances i’d like to stay as authentically me as possible.

My shell is not perfect and neither is yours, I don’t always get things right and I often feel anxious about what people might think of me…then I remember this is my shell, my blessed shell – many would give anything to have a sparkly shell of joy like mine. Its fully functioning and any dents remind me of the previous battles I’ve survived or thrived from. My shell is me, it’s where I’m truly at home, it travels with me wherever I go. Just as you can’t criticise a Dolphin for its lack of shell, you are wasting your time analysing your own body with lacks and let down thoughts. You’ve grown in to your shell and at times altered it or made minor improvements *note to self: do yoga this evening

…but ultimately you will always have you. So shine that shell with a few positive comments a day, or at-least stop yourself from vomiting negative thoughts all over it. Allow your body to rest, work and play and provide it with the best care you can give it. Today that might be a small step in just realising that you need to be kinder to yourself.

Happy shell shining.

Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist.

Quote by joy.F

I truly believe that we are all writing our own stories, chapter by chapter life is a series of new beginnings, challenges and climaxes…and of course the odd dark spell and baddy comes along and tries to jeopardise the heroine/ hero from achieving their purpose. I have chosen to live a life of happy ever after, but even with my most positive intentions, I often get thrown off course and have to realign myself.

Many people don’t come close to their purpose, to living aligned or anywhere near the fairy tale they desire. I think I know why, as yesterday I had an epiphany in the supermarket.

I was helping out with our school production and there was a large gap of time between the end of my working day and the show starting, so I decided to take myself to a local supermarket and purchase something for my dinner. It was a sunny and rare hot day in the UK and I really wanted a salad but also to indulge myself. Leaves don’t really cut it?

Solace in a supermarket can actually be rather therapeutic. So I wondered around the isles and placed a few of my favourite things in my basket. I looked down and found that my basket was unreservedly a middle class snobby delight. Who had I become? The content included:

  • Tyrell’s sea salt and black pepper crisps
  • a rainbow themed salad bowl (it was so pretty)
  • Sushi
  • Equinox Kombucha (some sort of fermented goodness in a glass bottle)

I giggled with shame…I went back to my office and enjoyed every bite. I felt good, knew what i’d chosen was the best – felt indulged and also rather healthy (if we excuse the crisps) but still I felt embarrassed. Until I saw this quote this morning. It was then that I realised that in that moment I had eaten and drunk exactly what I desired. As far as I’m aware Cinderella didn’t run off with the sleazy bloke at the bar (although we never really learn much about the prince in that particular story?), Snow white doesn’t marry the first forrest animal to come along and Pocahontas doesn’t hook up with the village idiot. So why shouldn’t my basket be full of what I want? Just like my life.

I’m buying it, I’m writing my own fairy tale… more importantly why am I judging my own basket? Forget social pressure and media corruption – perhaps (yup this is my epiphany) we don’t feel we are worth the fairy tale. Our own judgements block us from how we want to look, feel and in my case – the basket of food I purchase.

So listen up fellow fairy tale lovers, you ARE creating your own story. Sure, it’s likely to never have a Disney logo but just like my shopping basket it can be the best or at least what you want it to be. Don’t judge yourself – you’re totally worth it. Have your own back. If Mr Right hasn’t shown up, if Mrs Right now is lacking in basket delights…shop around. That’s why we have so many shops!

Be the fairy tale, but not Cinderella’s – be your own damsel and rescue yourself. Oh and never settle – fight for your happily ever after and never worry if anyone else agrees with it, they’re busy writing their own fairy tale…or haven’t had the wisdom to read this blog and have sad judgmental baskets of shopping.

Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being you.

Quote by Wayne Dyer.

As we approach the end of the first month of 2018, I felt this quote resonated with every human on the planet who had set a new goal, challenge or New Years resolution. Particularly those who have already hung up their gym pass, quit the diet or has found their soul drowned in another bowl of soup… it happens.

For goal setting targets I’ve written several posts Click here to read why it pays to be stubborn but at perhaps a time that you have ‘failed’ ‘given up’ or realised that dry January isn’t an excuse to drink gin for a month (*I was sad when I heard this too) I want to remind you that you are awesome just the way you are. Sounds sickly I know, but it’s true. You are good at being you. I promise that if you have kids they love our imperfections and all; although I wouldn’t directly ask them. This week I curled my hair and my son (four years old) told me I looked like Rapunzel. As a Disney fan I was blown away – until he corrected me that it was the witch he was thinking of.

I don’t want to bring my children up in a world where perfection is ‘plastic fantastic’ where desirable looks can only be accomplished by a thousand filters and the social media acceptance of an abundance of hearts, likes and comments. I don’t want humans to become robotic and only come in ‘one size fits all’, our imperfections create our beauty.

We all have talents that vary from scientist geniuses, medicinal wizards and international superstars… I make a fantastic roast, can occupy a toddler in a car for multiple hours and give good hugs (not all at the same time), I make a good friend, kind teacher and feel accomplished most days.

As we jump into February I urge you to take five minutes, pour a coffee and write a list of everything you like about yourself. I advise you to be kind to yourself; treat yourself to those new jeans, the shoes or that ‘thing’ that floats your boat. If I was a doctor I would prescribe you with a luxury treatment, a trip to the cinema, or a date night that’s overdue… if you have a new born then I’m adding a hot drink to that prescription. Allow February to be the month you made time for self love, for gratitude for all you do have. I promise it’s more than most.

You’re the best and being you. You’re already winning in 2018, you don’t need to change a thing.

You’re worth it

 Quote from L’Oreal I guess hehe, well slogan? It’s a pretty good slogan to have for yourself – if it’s good enough for Jennifer Aniston, it’s good enough for me.

Okay, so we all have things that we love and we know are naughty to consume, my list would probably mainly be made up of crisps and alcohol. I’ve always been a savoury girl and if there is a bowl of crisps at a BBQ or party it literally calls my name….I cannot leave them alone and I will even eat the crumbs at the bottom until the bowl is crisp free.

I grew up with classic lunch boxes that contained them everyday (it was the 80’s and we didn’t know better) and I ate them frequently until about 2006 when I read an article that said eating a bag of crisps a day was the equivalent to drinking 5 litres of vegetable oil a year…gross! I then had to look at my unhealthy approach to those little savoury delights and I quit – cold turkey, like a drug addict. I didn’t have them in the house until my little boy came along and even now I deliberately buy crisps I’m not a fan of (mainly puffy cheese creations) to avoid the naughtiness, I still adore them and still prey on them at gatherings. I’m now at the point where I buy a ‘treat bag’ every few months, but that’s ok with me.

Chocolate: I don’t love it but I also believe people who don’t like it are not to be trusted.

Like I said before, I’m a savoury girl so I’ll always pick a starter with a meal in a restaurant rather than a dessert but I’m also human and often get a craving for chocolate after my evening meal. (We don’t have desserts at home unless it’s Christmas or some kind of scoffing occasion) and I have recently been inspired by Matilda from the magical talents of Roald Dahl.

There is a section of the book / scene in the play where Miss Honey talks about her mothers special chocolates and how she had ‘just one’ every evening as a treat. Now, if you think you are a scoff the box kinda chick this probably will give you diabetes BUT at the end of term a pupil in year 10 bought me a huge and very generous box of posh choccies. Since I received them I’ve been having JUST ONE most evenings after dinner (they are still going) usually with a cup of tea before bed (I’m so gangsta) and I love it!


It’s usually the only sweet thing I have in the day (except for fruit) and I love the indulgence, it hits my need for some thing sweet and probably most importantly – it makes me feel special. I can’t describe the anguish I felt when Mr Fridge asked for one of my lovely choccies…trying to not be too mean I explained that they weren’t for sharing and that he should never ask again…but I’m not completely heartless, so I gave him one. I think he saw my heart break slightly as he hasn’t asked again since 🙂

So what it all this talk of naughty food about…I guess it’s about me realising that sometimes (crisps) I just have to say no. But that if I do say yes, know they are going to be the poshest crisps I can get my vegetable oil hands on! We don’t always need to indulge, but when we do – go special, you deserve it and also, to keep it special make sure ‘treats’ are things to look forward to.