mblogger

Embrace the glorious mess you are in.

~ Fridgesays ~ 28 Comments

Quote by Elizabeth Gilbert

I often write when the family has settled (AKA doing other things away from me) or I have some time to allow my thoughts to type themselves up – its true, I often haven’t a clue what I’m going to write about, I just have an urge to type or my head feels overwhelmed and there is an inbuilt need to ‘type it out’.

Today I feel overwhelmed to type and armed with a cup of green tea, my MacBook Air and a vase of pretty flowers my bestie bought me you’d think i’d be ready to write in solitude and Instagram greatness…look a few inches from my dining room table and my son has turned my living room into a scene from a horror film, Star Wars is blaring from our TV and chaos incapsulates my home as the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it, Mr F is stomping around the home looking for something he has put down several days a go (I’ll give him a few more minutes of searching and then put him out of his misery, as I locate said item in thirty seconds with my inbuilt mother vision detective device; seriously I’ve got skills when it comes to finding lost socks, cufflinks or keys since giving birth).

My son has just interrupted me to ask me to read him a story. I stopped typing and read to him.

I read a lot about motivation, affirmations, letting go, manifestations and goal setting. Whilst I realise that to move on and up we need to visualise, make progress steps and surround ourselves with positive people, today Ive decided to embrace the chaos.

Letting go

Sure my entire home isn’t the way id like it, I hate my kitchen (new kitchen coming soon), there is often too much clutter and everything doesn’t have a place. Working full time means I don’t always have time to clean to the standard I would like and this can cause me to become anxious, although saying that I probably prioritise family over dusting if I did get a day for such things. Beyond the home, balancing work and play often gets befuddled and there are periods of time when the plates I’m spinning crash to the floor and slowly with the help of loved ones I brush myself off and pick up the pieces of plate scattered around me, often there is also a phase of life where there are sharp edges all over my life that I have to avoid stepping on – broken plates like life often throw a pointed edge into the mix. However, if I look at my living room and past the chaos, my son is happily playing in a giant box in the middle of his toys. The box is Gotham city and he is jabbering contently about Batman saving the city from ‘the clutches of the Joker’. I’m learning that if you let go over the negative, a positive scene is often playing out right before your eyes.

Im not adulting today

Growing up I thought that adults had it made, that they knew everything and had all the answers, its probably why we all step up the ‘growing up’ phase in the teenage years in hope to get to the good bit. Only to find its a trap.

Being an adult is a bit like a toddler in a pushchair; you spend your entire shopping trip trying to convince your parents to let you out of the chair and the rest of the trip trying to get someone to carry you or let you back in the chair for a comfy snooze. I am that adult trying to avoid making decisions, stepping away from responsibility and avoiding paying bills like the plague.

Every now and then I allow myself a day or a few hours from being an adult, today is that day. My son can eat chocolate for every meal if he wants and the house chores can wait until tomorrow. I may prioritise painting my nails and I will certainly be wearing stretchy clothes because I am bound to also eat far too much chocolate and the extra elastic will help. I will drink far too much tea and may play some of my vinyls too loud. I will play with my son the games he wants me to play, even though I haven’t a clue about ‘The force’ or the galaxies he finds delight in.

I will submerge into the now and let go of the routine… tomorrow I’ll adult and use ‘The Force’ that I’ll learn about later today to clean this place up to an adult standard, tomorrow I will discipline and create structure…but today I will let go and enjoy the glorious mess that life has given me, I’ll choose to see through the mess and enjoy the moments of sparkle.

Now lets put that kettle on…

The little things x2

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

It was back in August that Kirsty swam into our lives, you may want to recap with a quick read by pressing here , she wasn’t exactly invited and her entrance made me go against one of the many “when I’m a parent I won’t do that” things, you see my son has always had muslins as comforters – to avoid the love and devotion being put on to one toy that could be lost (dam you Kirsty).

It turns out that Kirsty is named after one of my work friends; my son is a little bit in love with her and since the arrival of fish hat Kirsty we now have shark Kirsty, crocodile Kirsty and at times Kirsty even pops up during Star wars battles.

When I wrote the last article I probably thought that fish hat Kirsty wouldn’t be around for very long, my son has my attention span for objects and quickly moves on…but not with Kirsty.

Kirsty the hat fish came to Barbados with us. She stayed in the hotel suite during the day (the sun/sand combo doesn’t agree with her scaly complexion)  but was allowed out for evening meals, cocktails and dancing by the pool edge. If you think this sounds romantic then you’ve never holidays with a three year old, a time difference that makes keeping said three year old awake long enough to jam some food in his mouth a mission. Most evenings we had some small success, but mainly we were always the first to the buffet restaurant (where you don’t waste valuable minutes waiting for your waitress) and minutes later Daddy was carrying sleeping boy in his arms whilst I juggled as many cocktails as I could carry in stilettos behind them.


However, one night Kirsty joined us for ‘Beach Barbecue Night’ and some how we made it through a leisurely meal? The next night however was a new challenge…a screaming little man realised – Kirsty was gone. If as a parent your child has ever lost their favourite sleeping companion you’ll know that to say my heart was in my stomach doesn’t come close, add that he wasn’t in his own bed, a huge time difference and an awareness that we were disturbing the people in hotel rooms near us means I did what any logical parent would do: I launched operation ‘find Kirsty NOW’. My first stop was to the glamorous receptionist on the night desk..

Gorgeous receptionist: Hi Mam, how can I help you this evening?

Me (stressed Mum): Hi, yeah my son has lost his favourite toy, he won’t sleep without it.

GR: No worries, I can phone down to lost property for you.

Me: that would be amazing…

GR: what does the toy look like?(she picks up the phone and dials the security office)

Me: Its a giant red fish…well hat, yes its a big red fish hat.

GR: I’m sorry madame, did you say a fish hat?

Me: yes?

Needless to say I looked like an insane woman who had had one to many rum cocktails (if only) however the massive security guard who kindly returned Kirsty to my by then hyperventilating child was more confused and enquired where you even buy such an item. Obviously the wacky and innotative flying Tiger hasn’t hit the shores of the Carribean yet. All I cared about what that my son was pacified and sleep for all on the island looked more promising that night.

Since safely returning to the UK it has come to my attention that despite being in the clutches of my sons hands 24/7 Kirsty has some serious skills. She has swerved the washing machine on many occasions (it would seem despite being a fish Kirsty isn’t that keen on water), little dude has spent the last few weeks with a tummy bug – everything within a one hundred mile radius has had some sort of puke over it…but not Kirsty, during night time nappy weaning (yes we are free of those costly never going to bio degrade wads of wee) when beds have been changed at ridiculous o’clock – Kirsty lay untouched by liquid, how she does it i’ll never know.

He still wears her with pride, but mainly they play together and we are still not allowed to mention the word ‘hat’ near her. She is much more than an accessory, she is probably his first love. I have to say as a mother I had higher hopes for my son than a giant red fish, but I guess thats another lesson kirsty has taught us: love is blind.



 

Lovely things #12

~ Fridgesays ~ 4 Comments

This lovely things should be #13 but July was a blast of Summer holiday delights and frankly I was too busy having fun with my little monster, this rolled into August and well I thought I should get back in to some routine…haha I’m kidding myself. We are still on holiday and having lovely family time, I plan to squeeze every second out of this vacation and as a result will mean I will return to work severely jet lagged, at this point it seems worth it, I’m not sure how I’ll feel on Monday morning? 

1. Beach days. 

Living on the south coast of the U.K. we have enjoyed more than our fair share of beach days. A boy with a bucket of pebbles and a Mummy looking for pretty shells is a winning combination (and usually costs very little). It made me appreciate the scenery that surrounds us and that in the working week I sometimes forget to look at. I’m thankful that the sun came out to play and that lazy afternoons climbing rocks and searching for crabs was possible.

2. Time with friends was joyful. Over the holidays I met with many close friends, some who don’t live on our doorstep and I realised that the depth of friendships in your thirties is richer than previous decade friendships. They bring out the best in me and it was glorious to catch up and just ‘be’ 

Working / Mummy head means I can get absorbed in the mundane and everyone of my dear friends helps me to aspire to reach my dreams or buy ‘that new bag’ I really don’t need.

3. Vacation

I’m writing this from our balcony in Barbados. I’ve been here many times and the view never gets old. The island has many personal links to family life which I may write about another time. This lovely things however is dedicated to family time and the opportunity to fly with my son for the first time. I was really anxious and had read all the posts on what to pack to keep your little one occupied on a plane to horrendous holiday horror stories…I need not have worried. The plane journey here was fabulous, J took to the sky like he belonged and even slept for three hours! Today we are off on a submarine tour of the ocean and watching him make friends and chase waves in the ocean has been a pleasure. (*fingers crossed for the journey home)

So I raise my cocktail glass to family, friends and making memories. I’m glad I’ve neglected my blog in exchange for sun, sea and sand that really does get into every little crevice. If you to are a blogger don’t ever feel guilty about  your blog taking a back seat for a week…or six, who wants to be a lifestyle blogger that was too busy writing to actually live. 

Dont ruin a good day because of a bad yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Grant Cardone
Seriously, this quote is my world right now. I’m a natural positive butterfly – but I’m human too. On bad days people still expect me to be sunshine and full Disney Princess sparkle when I’m actually feeling more Hulk.

Yesterday afternoon I was Hulk. I am able to catch myself in a negative frame of mind, but frankly sometimes I like to wallow in green fury for a little too long or just don’t have the energy to dust myself off and spread pixie dust wherever I go.

By half eight on a Saturday night I decided to let it all go and snuggled in bed. Adulting can be tough and sometimes just like my toddler in the midday heat – I need to nap it off

*Advice: never go to sleep feeling low, you will wake up feeling like you have a hangover and that is the epitome of miserable.

To ‘let it go’ I usually escape into a good book or emerge myself with silly YouTube clips (cute puppies, infectious baby giggles, or stupid people falling off of trampolines) until I’m tired enough to sleep and the immature giggles have lifted my soul.

Today is actually the real test. I don’t need the negativity of yesterday to ruin my today. To do this I make a choice to smile and always choose happiness…it’s hard work, as negative thoughts are like a poison that slip through gaps and as each day brings new challenges and opens new doors it can contaminate in seconds. This quote is more of a mantra to me that I reflect on when the responsibility of being an adult sucks.

Finance, childcare, chores and relationships can be all consuming. That and an unpredictable three year old that can have a emotional breakdown because the grass is green and he wants it to be blue, are all challenges that I attempt to make positive – I laugh at my child’s demands (warning: this sometimes frustrates him further) and I do the chores I can fit into my day without making ‘cleaning’ my entire day; the vacuuming can always wait till tomorrow, life as we know it will continue (with just a bit more dust around).

As for finance, I reflect on that I have it better than others, that bad months will come and good months will help us save for the rainy tsunami days, another quote that works well with this is John Lennon’s “Everything will be okay in the end, if its not Okay then its not the end”

With fresh eyes and a nights sleep today will be better and through this energy attraction, life in turn will be better. So here’s to choosing to see life through Disney Princess glasses, for now my Hulk is back to his human persona Bruce Banner…

Stay blessed this week, and for those who caught in your own ‘Hulk days’ here is a list of sources that can possibly help you break free. (if you’d like to know more about any in particular please ask and i’ll do a post on it in the near future)

  • Meditation (Headspace do a good app that provides an easy to follow starting point)
  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Matrix reimprinting
  • Lightning Process (not quite as cool as it sounds, but almost)
  • NLP (Neur0 Linguistic Programming)
  • Yoga

And the simple stuff from taking a walk, going to the gym, along drive or putting on your favourite tracks

I’d love to hear any of your suggestions; fill free to leave any below

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lovely things #9

~ Fridgesays ~ 4 Comments

Is it me or has someone put 2016 on fast forward? I feel like I only just started this year and it’s nearly May?

Being a UK blogger I have to comment on the weather, if you read this abroad then you have climate, Britain just has ‘weather’ and the last few days have seriously delivered, in five minute intervals we’ve had rain, sun, then the bonus of rainbows…oh and snow, hail and serious winds. If that’s not a sign that global warming is already taking effect I’m not sure what is?

So this picture captures my car roof on a sunny morning (covered in frost?)

I took the picture because the tiny pieces of frost seemed to be pointing upwards, plus the swirly patterns made me smile. Lovely things are so often the cause of Mother Nature.

2. My next lovely thing is gratitude. I’m currently working on being grateful for what I have (which is seriously so much more than most) without moaning about my materialist desires or discussing the things I lack. It’s hard because it’s habitual but I’m starting to see the positive aspects of life and not dwell in the drama and negativity.


If you too have lost focus on the happier aspects of life then try ’30 days of not moaning or making a negative comment’ it’s so hard at first, but I promise it soon becomes a new habit and your universe will be better for it. My top tip for this is do it with a friend, it helps you stay focused and you can even share your grateful moments with each other. You can text them to each other which makes a really cute ‘vertual keepsake’ to look back on. 

3. My little man loves books. I’m not sure how long it will last, but I will continue to remortgage so that we can bring home bookshops, hunt charity shops and stalls and generally develop his imagination in every direction. He loves to ‘read’ to me and at three I never seem to get over his sponge ability to absorb a story in seconds. This weekend we have ‘Harry Bear’ from nursery staying, so J was kind enough to ‘read’him Winnie the Pooh, so that he wasn’t scared. This picture melts my heart and completes my April lovely things.


Three is the magic number 

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

img_3538

Lyrics from De la Soul.

Dear time,

Thank you for blessing me with a healthy and (usually) smiley boy. You gave me nine months to prepare and then the clock began to tick…how did my baby become three?

He has imagination that can take him to worlds where time cannot go, he can spend hours reading and making up songs that make me giggle and he always knows when it’s bedtime. Since birth he had slept like a king (thank you) and he wakes wide eyed and ready for more minutes of delicious adventure and every second brings more funny sentences from his ever developing vocabulary and expanding mind.

He is like an alarm clock of questions through out the day as he bellows ‘why, how and who?’ As he takes it all in I can see in his eyes the cogs are turning, exploring and fine tuning just as a fine pocket watch might.

What makes him tick is easy; simple delights in his trains, cars and his plastic crocodile, Spotting the moon and telling me with pride when day turns to dusk and the calendar pushes forward.

So time, many thanks for the blessed memories and the opportunity to be called Mummy, the pride in watching him grow and gift to see a much more exciting world through his eyes, one that acknowledges emotion with giggles from the belly and tears from the soul.

All I ask is that you slow down,

Love Mummy x x x

Happy 3rd Birthday Prince J .x

Eyes like a shutter

~ Fridgesays ~ 6 Comments

img_3279 

Quote by Anon.

When dusk falls and night settles in, I often reflect on the day I’ve just had. If I’m honest I do this with a negative bias and then try and review it with a bit more sparkle and include some positive vibes. Today I had one of those grey days where little is accomplished and the highlights were few and far between.

It’s these ‘grey days’ that I find hard to motivate myself and as we pack up 2015 and step into January I think it’s time I bought a new lens.

My mind is very good at judging, cataloging and recording any person who dare to scorn my loved ones or myself…or push in the queue infront of me, hold varying opinions or perhaps just look a little prettier than I’d like.

I don’t know if it’s a human, female, mother, teacher or ‘me’ trait but forgiveness is something I suck at. Well, it’s more forgetting the thing I was meant to have forgiven…either way, I suck at it. Maybe you do to? As the quote suggested I close my eyes and my mind becomes a photo album of moments I should probably not let bother me – least of all hold on to.

Just like a photo album from long ago can conjure emotions that you never knew you had – the mind is a powerful tool. I believe that it is our post powerful, so if you are jumping on the January diet train, make sure you take care of your mind too, it may just secure a sharper, higher pixel and altogether more pleasant kinda 2016.

Every adventure requires a first step

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 Quote by the cheeky purple Cheshire Cat (meow)

A year ago I had a crazy idea and ‘whatmyfridgesays’ Facebook page was born. It was a little scary (although nothing compared to the fear of beginning this blog) and I just took a little step out of my comfort zone.

However the Cheshire Cat forgot to mention that after that first step another is needed, and another and I guess several more after that are also necessary. Those steps can get harder with each lift of the foot, scarier and at points perhaps a little sit down is needed?

I am currently sitting down. Metaphorically speaking (technically I’m writing this in bed so I’m laying) and I’m looking forward to Boxing Day for several reasons; the food is better (I love picky bits and bubble and squeak), crisps are plentiful, the presents seem to continue to flow, guests drop in and board games fulfill my competitive edge. However there is always space in my mind for a review of the new year that lays ahead and more importantly what steps are needed in the coming months.

If I were to list mine they would  probably look a little like this:

  • Love to be more flexible (don’t let yoga practice slip)
  • What’s next on the career ladder for me?
  • How can I help my son to develop?
  • I need a new foundation (swap this to the shopping list – add a new pair of jeans too)
  • Link my blog more, spend more time on social media
  • Spend less time on social media and more with family
  • Book a holiday…

Hmmm…as you can see good intentions are prominent, direction not so much?

Perhaps for me personally a little more thought is needed over this holiday season and probably over the coming months. I guess creating the list in itself is a step forward, well a really small cat foot paw.

Enjoy the festivities, the chaos and clutter and in the coming weeks or when everyone has dozed off later this afternoon may be its time that you made a ‘cat paw list too’ (meow).

I am a Mum who…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment


I was asked by a wonderful blogger to take part in ‘I am a mum who’, now before we get into that, I’d really like to thank Mammavsteacher for all the support she has given me, she’s like my very own personal ‘how to blogger’ and I’ve been blown away with her knowledge. Please check out her link here, told you she was good 🙂

Here is my version of ‘I am a Mum…’

I am a Mum who: doesn’t feel guilty for working full time.

I am a Mum who: taught J to say ‘alright Darling’ to our dog when she is scared of thunder

I am a Mum: that constantly has a mental battle with herself about ‘letting him do it by himself’ and ‘mummy do it for you’

I am a Mum: that is blessed with a fantastic support unit and never takes them for granted.

I am a Mum: that isn’t very good at ‘letting go’ but does like to sing the Frozen version very loudly.

I am a Mum: that feels extremely overwhelmed to have such a title.

I am a Mum: that lets him eat too much cake and taught him his colours with jelly beans

I am a Mum: who internally cries with pride every time he accomplished something new (most days)

I am a Mum: who isn’t very good at saying No…sorry Daddy.

I am a Mum: that wipes his nose on his t-shirt (when tissue aren’t at hand)

I am a Mum: that despite loving every second of being a Mum, also has a strong sense of her own identity and is much more than a Mummy.

I am a Mum: that worries she’ll be a pain to her sons future teachers on parents evening.

I will nominate several bloggers to do the same, I have made my selection of mummy bloggers as I have recently discovered their work and would like to get to know them better…(if you’ve already done it, sincere apologises), I nominate:

Admissions of a Working Mother

Something Crunchy Mummy

Wafflemamma