Love

The Saturday Sesh #6

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

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As we wave good bye to September and embrace the colder nights of October, it is with a warm embrace that I say thank you for joining our community of awesomeness and joy. This week I thought I’d start with a sprinkle of gratitude, giving thank’s for a sprinkle of self love and the benefits of making time to chill (in what was a crazy week of meetings and events), managing the demands of the world don’t get any easier, but I’m getting better at prioritising and also making time to ground myself. I hope you made some ‘you’ time also.

Every week myself and Hayley pick a featured blogger each from all #thesatsesh members who have linked up with us in the previous link, as I’m still having coding issues, it is with great Pleasure that I’d like to ask Lisa to click here to collect her badge – in fact why don’t you all press the link and see who Hayley has picked. Ops, I gave mine away 🙂 This week I really enjoyed reading the passion behind Lisa Pomerantzster’s Post on Edie Windsor’s sad passing, but clearly the love and respect Lisa has for her as an icon. I picked the piece as I adore learning and didn’t know enough about this remarkable lady (now I do), but mostly as previously mentioned I felt the love in Lisa’s words. It also made me reflect on who my icons are?

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So lets get this new weeks linky going, here are a few rules, so please don’t link and run, its not cool and its not what #thesatsesh is about. As always if you need help or advice please let us know my emailing here and we will reply ASAP.

RULES:

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add the #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays @mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on ONE of each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but four is plenty. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep you up to date and follow you back.

What My Fridge Says
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Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles 

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

Anon, *although I like to think Mary Berry or Delia came up with this little gem.  

Cake and magic in one quote is always going to get my attention. Firstly, I believe I’m a cupcake. Of course I have muffin moments, but I believe there are great things to come with sprinkles on top. Every child I teach and especially my son – I want cupcakes for their lives, but more importantly I want them to have the inner hope that miracles happen and no matter how bleak today was, tomorrow will always be better.

It’s easy to be a muffin. To lack the sparkle and glitz of a cupcake. After all everyone knows sprinkles on cupcakes are compulsory. I’m also partial to a ratio of more icing than cake. 

Muffins are wholesome and I imagine (if they could) they would shop in sensible shops and alway have a cagoule or umberella in their bag just in case. Muffins are usually packed with something non-naughty like raisins, nuts, seeds and fruit and that’s okay. Seriously, my previous post was all about not judging and would be easy to slate and hate on the healthy muffin option, compared to the glitz and glam of the cupcake… but that’s not my style or what I think this quote is about. 

I think we all have muffin moments, especially when pregnant and just after (okay, years after for me), we eat well and get by, we rock the messy bun and frankly we get stuck in a rut of the same two outfits, the comfy cardigan or the pumps that are easy to slip on by the front door. It’s essential at this point that we don’t judge because easy access shoes are fab and with Autumn looming I’m all about a snuggly cardigan. I think this quote is about reminding us to not slip into a rut because we’ve forgot the ten thousands pairs of shoes hidden in our wardrobe, perhaps the hat with the cute logo or the over sized sunglasses that make you feel like a film star. It’s these moments when we become a cupcake. 

It’s probably not healthy to eat cupcake everyday, but life is too precious to be a muffin forever more. So this is a post to remind us to rock the shoes, wear the outfit that’s 100% impractical but 1000% fabulous…add the icing and enjoy the things that make you happy. As always from my fridge doors – dare to dream and go for it.

Tears are words the heart can’t say

~ Fridgesays ~ 53 Comments

Quote from Gerard Way

Have you ever been to a funeral, wedding or a supermarket and cried, yet deep down you aren’t really sure why?

I’ve decided that speaking is over rated, which will come as a shock for those that know me, especially my Mum. I have verbal diarrhoea most of the time. That said, my best bits of my day are usually moments of still, calm and peace in a life of chaos and sounds, tick lists and diary plans. It’s in these moments that I find true happiness, it can be seeing the sun rise or set, having white washing on the line (fresh linen is one of my favourite smells), it can be pizza in the oven or even better delivered on my doorstop with no hassle from me, but very often it’s a hug from a friend rather than the words that accompany it that I like the most.

Sometimes I cry and am not sure why I’m crying. I can cry because I’m happy, over excited or overwhelmed. At other times I can’t remember the last time I had a ‘good cry’ and that’s usually the time I decide to put on a romantic comedy and tear jerk my way through ninety   minutes of delight and despair, the cheesier the better and served with pizza is once again a bonus.

When I was learning to live with grief I had a Marmite moment. Perhaps you’ve had one of these? It goes like this:

It was around 11am and I fancied something to eat, I decided on some marmite and toast. As I was buttering the toast I began to cry, I wasn’t really sure why I was crying so carried on buttering and blubbering. As I reached for the Marmite I began to laugh at myself and it was at this point Mr F walked in to find me sobbing my heart out, snot flowing, hyperventilating gasps and laughing all at the same time. His response was priceless and went something like “if you don’t like Marmite just have butter’ this of course made me laugh a little more and eventually in a big hug I was able to explain that I didn’t have a clue why I was crying. He then laughed at me and said it was grief and that it often catches you out at the most odd moments. Since then I’ve always been cautious with Marmite on toast and fully understand that it’s okay to not always know why you feel the way you do. You just do.

I do think those magic tears often allow us to vent emotions that the mouth can’t process. I think they are fundamentally important to our wellbeing and although I don’t cry very often, I sometimes allow myself to wallow in them or break out in laughter tears which always let me know life is pretty spectacular.

Some people don’t cry, ever. I’m not convinced and wonder if they let it out in different ways – perhaps their eyelids get sweaty? Have you ever had a Marmite moment or cried just because? I can’t be the only one…can I?

She’s a Queen bee with a little bit of savage

~ Fridgesays ~ 37 Comments

Quote by R.h.Sin

Oh hello wonderful quote! This time we aren’t talking Beyonce (for once) but instead the female ability to flip from princess to distress in seconds. Having conceived a little male monster I can also confirm there is no gender bias here and I have 100% experienced this with him, today he has cried over:

  • His cheese wasn’t cheesy enough
  • Putting on his shoes to go to the park
  • leaving the park
  • being asked to pick his toys up
  • being told its bed time

and then within seconds smiling and giggling like the dude he usually is.

I’m specifically focusing on female diva’s because I’d like to share some new research that I’ve recently learnt and found totally sparkly. I did the research because I work in an all girl secondary school. This means that with approximately 1,250 uterus’s a hormonal melt down can be happening at any moment (most moments) between the hours of…well all hours.

My Mr F jokes that during my period (yup I wrote the word down) I could literally get away with murder, a quick google and sure enough there are several cases where due to extreme mental and hormonal surges women have killed and not served a sentence because they were ‘deemed emotionally unstable’. Men you have been warned and ladies I’m guessing this doesn’t surprise us. I can usually see a pattern in the older girls that I work with on a regular basis and their menstrual cycle, how they are feeling / the volume of tissues I’m going through in that week.

So I came across an article that led me to another article that I’d love to quote (but didn’t save, sorry) that taught me that the moon and our cycles are at one with each other. Given that the moon controls the oceans tides and spending time with our female bestie means our cycles can synchronise, again it wasn’t a huge surprise – it just wasn’t something I’d ever considered.

*Incidentally while we are getting all ‘moon chat’ (yup thats a thing now) my son is convinced that the moon is made of cheese and you can ‘taste the rainbow’ – the power of advertising…

So, in essence there are four dramatic changes in the cycle of the moon

  • Quatre Phase
  • wax
  • full
  • wane

Of course we don’t all synchronise on the same phase of the moon, so different patterns in fertility and menstruation have different effects and different women. See even the moon is diverse; from Wax where women tend to feel inwards and self-nourishing. It’s meant to be an awesome time to think, to learn, to read, and to plan. So any big plans beyond our uterus, wait for a Wax moon. To a full moon which is meant to symbolise fire, abundance, power and vitality, these are just snippets of whats out there…and now a dash of hope, according to a further google you can coordinate and sync your period to coincide with a better moon cycle for yourself. So if you are having a hard time with mother nature and aren’t part of a Native American tribe where you can go to a hut away from everyone and relax, you can at least move to a more convenient moon cycle.

Wherever you are in your cycle or if you’re a gentlemen tip toeing around the female members of your household, bare in mind the moon may have a part to play in her temporary moment of savage and she’ll soon be back on top and a Queen Bee. I guess we can also just be too tired and a little hungry, having days where we don’t want to play and thats okay too. In this corner of the internet I will always preach that we all need to be a little gentler to ourselves no matter what our race, gender, religion or postcode…or today how the moon causes us to feel.

Moon hugs.x


 

 

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Know your worth and then add tax 

~ Fridgesays ~ 40 Comments

Okay, so this quote from Anon is going straight into my top twenty of self love quotes! (Yes, that’s right people I used an exclaimation mark) 

I recently posted a YouTube post on my facebook wall from Kristina Kuzmic (link here because it’s well worth a look), I love her feisty vibe and so once you’ve taken a peep imagine I too am sitting in a bubble bath of joy with a glass in my hands as tall as the Eifle Tower. (* reality disclaimer: no drink, sat at the top of the stairs hiding from my family so I can write in peace) 

This YouTube clip combined with this quote makes me feel like Beyoncé on stage in her element. It’s absolutely crucial that as role models of the human race we all make ourselves number one. Why? Because this in turn allows us to serve others (loved ones and the odd  stranger who may need a helping hand) way better. When I’ve had some ‘me time’ I literally can take on the world. It allows me to gain a better perspective on the state of the universe and at the same time prevents me from starting arguments / world wars over how towels are folded, toilet seats left up and all those other household triggers. This in turn makes me easier and way more accommodating to live with. 

But there is a second bonus: my health is better as a result of indulging in myself. I’m emotionally stable (*kind of) and physically healthier. So how do I make time…I ask others to help me out. Whether that be an evenings child care / grandparent indulgence, or I ask Mr F to take over while I sit on the stairs and get this written. 

I also don’t priorities housework and chores over myself. I sometimes wake up earlier to do yoga, read or listen to a podcast when helping hands aren’t available, sometimes when I’m not too exhausted from work I stay up a little later. At other times I seize opportunities to walk the dog and leave the house… I promise whatever your situation if you prioritise you can always find five minutes, you could even start with three.

So, I have a few questions… 

  • Do you make time for yourself?
  • How do you make the time?
  • What do you do with the time?

I swear I’m 95 years old and I seem to choose a hot bubbly bath, time to read, time to write, to sit and drink a HOT cup of tea, some yoga or a sneaky GnT… so if my worth is time to write then surely the tax is a gin and tonic 🙂 stay happy and make yourself number one. 

The little things x2

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

It was back in August that Kirsty swam into our lives, you may want to recap with a quick read by pressing here , she wasn’t exactly invited and her entrance made me go against one of the many “when I’m a parent I won’t do that” things, you see my son has always had muslins as comforters – to avoid the love and devotion being put on to one toy that could be lost (dam you Kirsty).

It turns out that Kirsty is named after one of my work friends; my son is a little bit in love with her and since the arrival of fish hat Kirsty we now have shark Kirsty, crocodile Kirsty and at times Kirsty even pops up during Star wars battles.

When I wrote the last article I probably thought that fish hat Kirsty wouldn’t be around for very long, my son has my attention span for objects and quickly moves on…but not with Kirsty.

Kirsty the hat fish came to Barbados with us. She stayed in the hotel suite during the day (the sun/sand combo doesn’t agree with her scaly complexion)  but was allowed out for evening meals, cocktails and dancing by the pool edge. If you think this sounds romantic then you’ve never holidays with a three year old, a time difference that makes keeping said three year old awake long enough to jam some food in his mouth a mission. Most evenings we had some small success, but mainly we were always the first to the buffet restaurant (where you don’t waste valuable minutes waiting for your waitress) and minutes later Daddy was carrying sleeping boy in his arms whilst I juggled as many cocktails as I could carry in stilettos behind them.


However, one night Kirsty joined us for ‘Beach Barbecue Night’ and some how we made it through a leisurely meal? The next night however was a new challenge…a screaming little man realised – Kirsty was gone. If as a parent your child has ever lost their favourite sleeping companion you’ll know that to say my heart was in my stomach doesn’t come close, add that he wasn’t in his own bed, a huge time difference and an awareness that we were disturbing the people in hotel rooms near us means I did what any logical parent would do: I launched operation ‘find Kirsty NOW’. My first stop was to the glamorous receptionist on the night desk..

Gorgeous receptionist: Hi Mam, how can I help you this evening?

Me (stressed Mum): Hi, yeah my son has lost his favourite toy, he won’t sleep without it.

GR: No worries, I can phone down to lost property for you.

Me: that would be amazing…

GR: what does the toy look like?(she picks up the phone and dials the security office)

Me: Its a giant red fish…well hat, yes its a big red fish hat.

GR: I’m sorry madame, did you say a fish hat?

Me: yes?

Needless to say I looked like an insane woman who had had one to many rum cocktails (if only) however the massive security guard who kindly returned Kirsty to my by then hyperventilating child was more confused and enquired where you even buy such an item. Obviously the wacky and innotative flying Tiger hasn’t hit the shores of the Carribean yet. All I cared about what that my son was pacified and sleep for all on the island looked more promising that night.

Since safely returning to the UK it has come to my attention that despite being in the clutches of my sons hands 24/7 Kirsty has some serious skills. She has swerved the washing machine on many occasions (it would seem despite being a fish Kirsty isn’t that keen on water), little dude has spent the last few weeks with a tummy bug – everything within a one hundred mile radius has had some sort of puke over it…but not Kirsty, during night time nappy weaning (yes we are free of those costly never going to bio degrade wads of wee) when beds have been changed at ridiculous o’clock – Kirsty lay untouched by liquid, how she does it i’ll never know.

He still wears her with pride, but mainly they play together and we are still not allowed to mention the word ‘hat’ near her. She is much more than an accessory, she is probably his first love. I have to say as a mother I had higher hopes for my son than a giant red fish, but I guess thats another lesson kirsty has taught us: love is blind.



 

I followed my heart…

~ Fridgesays ~ 8 Comments


Quote by Bill Murray.

Let’s face it good things come from the fridge…vitamins from the fruit and veg, calcium from the yoghurt and milk…I personally keep my ketchup in there and love the stuff. Did someone mention fizz – part of my moral compass for sometime has always been to have a bottle of presecco or champers in the fridge too, you never know when you may need to toast an exciting moment with someone, or drown your sorrows.

Warning: this blog is likely to be slightly slushy

I guess I really want to have a conversation with my blog, so here goes.

Dear Fridge,

So we started off as you can read in my intro Opening the fridge door by simply a growing love of positive vibes, quotes and a pipe dream for a motivational blog. Nearly a year on in blog land and we have had a ball, learnt a lot and you’ve become the best hobby ever (although this is because I have the attention span of a gnat, so the very fact you are still rocking is a miracle).

We got over the techno widgets together and we’ve been selective on the linkys we use…for heavens sake, we even know what a linky is and how to use them.

We love the blogging community…mostly; some are a little aggressive, bossy and there is a culture that recently formed where writing about your kids in an insulting manner or generally highlighting the mummy fails is popular (we stay clear, mainly as it isn’t positive) a side note: this doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect or have daily parent fails – I do, I simply chose not to share them with the world).

I need to say a huge thank you, you’ve given me a creative outlet that I’ve been missing since life got serious. You are patient too, when I don’t feel like posting…I don’t, although I aim to 2-3 times a week, I know that the world won’t stop if I don’t write anything and sometimes ‘not writing’ can be just as satisfying.

You also record my voice, freedom of speech or in this case typing is important to me. (I’ll probably cringe when I look back at some of the things I’ve written / there is a reason most of my diaries have been destroyed)

img_3565You also make my actual fridge come alive, he is a big beast and somehow blogging softens him and in my eyes gives him a greater meaning to life, although he also keeps food cool, frozen and makes ice; you could say my fridge is a multi tasking cool wizard.

What I’m saying is…thank you, I love our adventures, the people we have met and the places that we travel (mainly in my imagination – but hey you facilitate this), so although it’s not quite a year I will open some fizz to this little internet haven in your honour.

Love Lucy


 

Exist to be happy not to impress

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by American author Richard Bach.

One of my indulgent fav’s is my mini series on the delights of the previous month titled #things I’m loving and back last year I posted this little joy  #things I’m loving 2 you may need to have a quick read for the next paragraph to make sense.


Anyway, I think it shows that once purchased my bestie and me seriously didn’t care and wore our best friends t-shirts with giggles (pride was lost during our Univeristy years)

This week my little dude and I were blessed with her arrival and apart from a little t-shirt loving we made time to sneak off for a secret Hendricks Gin at my local (which felt rebellious at one in the afternoon) but was nice to breath in a little ‘us’ time before we walked home and she was on story telling duty with my son who insisted reading occurred in his ‘Igloo’ (she really does love him)


Once little man was snoozing in bed me and Mr F cooked up a storm with this fish dish to wish for. Seriously yummy and not that indulgent at all with the only ‘minxy’ ingredient being 100ml single cream – which split between four was irrelevant…win! We served it with sour dough as a treat. 

Where am I going? Well I realised that in my little bubble it may be a bit ‘unique’ but joy is found amongst us and those we wish to share, I’d never want to go back to my ‘care about what people think’ teenage years – but for those that have entered that bubble, like my bestie – it’s always a blessing.

If you care a little too much what others think perhaps you should also buy bestie t-shirts, drink Gin in the afternoon or read in a snuggly place just because. I know from my own experience that those whose opinions I used to care about are long gone and like a gin – the others get better with age.

*Dedicated to my awesome bestie and the greatest God mother on the planet, we adore you x