goals

If I ever let my head down, it will just be to admire my shoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by the sensational Marilyn Monroe.

Firstly, friends sometimes in conversations ask questions about who you’d invite to a meal of celebrities both alive and departed; Marilyn would defiantly be at my gathering. Despite her iconic following, we share a love for shoes and so this quote absorbed my soul. I think she would probably have some feisty opinions and yet to me she seems fragile and vulnerable all at the same time. Who would you invite?

This quote also helps me reflect on two completely opposite perspectives, the first is probably rather shallow. BUT OH MY, I LOVE SHOES. Never understood a handbag girl, never liked accessories, not too fussed about hats but give me a high heel and I can take on the world. Measuring in at 159cm’s (yup, I never left the kids department) and with size two pied’s my collection is extensive and sparkly and the higher the heel the happier I am. I’m not a great fan of flip flops, flats or anything remotely practical, with perhaps the exception of a trainer ( actually many of my trainers have heels?) or converse. Ive been totting in heels for more than two decades and I wear them most days – all day. My one rule when it comes to shoes is; you never take them off. Why? because you will never get them back on and over the years Ive probably become immune to the pain and they make me so happy, this leads to my second ultimate weapon. I look down at my shoes for courage, joy and happiness. If I have a horrendous meeting to attend, a super long day of back to back meetings – I reach for the shoe that excites me the most. During the dull day or perhaps if Im in a pressured situation I look down and smile. It instantly lifts my spirits and in turn the frequency I’m operating at. I will be over a hundred, draped over a sparkly pink zimmer frame and still be in a classic stiletto for this very reason. Heels are my equivalent to superman’s cape or Thor’s hammer. I also practice yoga weekly to prevent joint issues and counter balance the harm a heel does to posture.

On a deeper level, Marilyn was probably talking about being confident and holding her head high. Mannerisms play a key part in being successful. In moments of self doubt and when the darker days are dawning, letting your head fall can be the beginning of the end. I imagine Marilyn faced many people who tried and perhaps succeeded at attacking her soul. As a human grown in the soil of earth I have definitely had my share of people making me feel inferior, inadequate or taking chunks of my self doubt. Sadly, I probably have also done the same to others without even knowing it… but there is something I am teaching my son to prevent him from ever having to look down (plus Thors hammer is priced at £26 in the Disney store and its not practical for him to take to school, so we needed an alternative). Its simply the thought process that you allow other people to make you feel a certain way. If someone tells me a joke, I choose to laugh (or run), If someone says an unkind comment, I either allow it in or like a mirror reflect it back at them, not necessarily in retaliation but in the essence that the comment is a reflection of them, they said it. I don’t have to listen, feel or absorb it. Its me that looks down at the ground or chooses to look up to the heavens.

Sounds easy? Like a perfectly poached egg it requires the right conditions to thrive (water, heat, and time) and on rare occasions it can be useful to over cook a poached egg to know how you like it. Contrast is essential to happiness; you can’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want. You can’t always be as strong as Thor’s hammer because for one, we don’t all have access to Uru – the Asgardian precious metal and secondly humans are designed to bleed. Sometimes people will hurt you, usually the closer they are to you the harder they hurt. In daily life I feel we can choose to look up a little more, deflect more frequently and only look down because frankly its a day where my shoes bring me happiness.

 

Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

Quote by Dale Carnegie

As a teacher, at the beginning of new terms or even on a Sunday evenings getting the ‘fear’ is not uncommon. Something about standing on the edge of a new week can seem rather daunting. For some, it means another week of demands, overwhelming task and the race of life – chasing that never ending ‘to-do’ list. Of course the ‘fear’ isn’t just a teacher or student concept – the ‘fear’ is inclusive to the entire human race. Sadly.

During exam periods I always encourage my pupils to books several big events during the revision / exam period – it gives a positive focus to what can seem like a never ending carousel of post-its, essay practise, and highlighting sentences. This year one of my high anxiety pupils booked a concert, a meal with friends (no revision cards allowed) and her Mum booked her a ‘surprise weekend’ which turned out to be some well needed family time at Centre Parks.

When I first became a Mummy on maternity leave I realised that I would quickly need a similar recipe for success and sanity. Money was an issue, so instead I treated myself to smaller treats like ‘posh teas’ and made sure I had time to drink them hot (oh the luxury). I used cooing visitors or close family to have bubble baths and silly treats of time mainly to straighten my hair, paint my nails or frankly just sit alone with a book or just to daze out of the window. I guess in some respect this post is a similar message to my last post found here, which is about prioritising yourself.

However, this week I want to take that message one step further – to creating moments of joy in the humdrum of life. To planning family time that units all members and to crucially prevent yourself from feeling overwhelmed.

If you look at many of the people winning at life, from Oprah to Louise Haye meditation is key to their mental well being and subsequent happiness and success. I recently embarked on an 8 week mindfulness course. Many of the aspects of the course I found unhelpful – either because I already do them or chewing a raisin for twenty minutes just doesn’t seem to resonate with me. I signed up for the course because I was keen to increase and perfect my meditation practise. My instructor gave us a CD full of mediations of different time spans and contents, but I have always found youtube to be an awesome source of led meditation (if thats your thing). I have a few favourites that motivate, chill or empty my mind. During the course I was foolishly waiting for the moment when I had perfected my meditation process and could leave proudly announcing to the world that ‘I can meditate’ and hold my certificate proudly…only to discover that its a daily working progress and you can’t actually meditate incorrectly. In essence for non-meditating readers; you focus on your breathe and try to stop your mind from wondering off…at the start its a little bit like supermarket shopping with a toddler, with practise you learn that online shopping is best for all and that popping in to Waitrose for some milk and bread is your maximum capacity. You become comfortable in your own skin, head and letting go seems to flow much easier. What they don’t warn you is that is highly addictive and the sense of well being that it can give you is exactly the same as when your child reaches the age where you can monthly shop with them and ACTUALLY enjoy their company.

If you have never tried it – you’re wrong. Ive never met anyone who hasn’t driven somewhere like on a daily commute to work and upon arrival can’t remember the journey. Or perhaps read a book and become so enthralled in the characters and plot that you’ve lost track of time, although not ‘strictly’ meditation these events are extremely similar. Escaping your current reality and the demands of the world and freeing your mind – even just for a few minutes.

The evidence for this practise is abundant and a quick google will put any logical mind at ease. However, if you are someone that resonates with the quote above about worry dominating your life, or perhaps every now and then anxiety pops around for an unexpected cuppa and stays way too long, or you just can’t remember when you last enjoyed the now, the today and the present and instead your mind is busy analysing the ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow, then I promise making a few minutes before you fall asleep and listening to a guided meditation will be the best gift you gave yourself.


 

Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist

~ Fridgesays ~ 30 Comments

Quote by Joy.F

When I was a little princess I lived high up on a hill, I had a pink room papered with tiny rose buds and was surrounded by dolls and love.  I was a lucky little lady, and as I grew (perhaps its the only child in me) I expected the best and knew that my knight in shining Dad armour would protect me from the horrors of the world.

My childhood was padded, corners were eradicated with strategically placed cushions. My garden toys, slide and swing both had protective rubber at the bottom – heaven forbid I hit the rough edges of the grass.

Due to health issues Gluten was my nemesis, so I battled hard with the force that is ‘My Mummy’, she checked labels, made from scratch and in an era without gluten free foods abundant on supermarket shelves and with no access to the internet she became the lighthouse of knowledge on all things GF. At birthday parties I had a packed lunch, at play dates she baked biscuits…she was my Delia delight because I was never once aware of being any different from anyone else.

I was allowed the freedom to be what ever I wanted to be. This was one of the greatest gifts that my family gave me. The gift to dream.

I kissed many frogs – some more ‘Toad of Toad Hall’ than had any handsome prince potential, but a young girl has to find these things out for herself. Its part of the adventure and makes for a fabulous cliff hanger.

I became an amalgamation of most of the Disney Princess’s, my imagination is at times so far fetched I have trouble working out how to get back to reality. I can be as feisty and independent as Elsa (although I could never live on a snow capped mountain, I’m pathetic in the cold weather), as vulnerable as Cinderella; sometimes we need to be whisked away and cared for, although I would never be so careless as to mislay a shoe, plus I’m not a night owl so I worry about turning into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight if I’m not tucked up in bed with a camomile tea by my side (so ghetto).

I can be as care free as Lilo, my labrador is more practical than stitch – she can fetch. Ive had my wild Merinda hair moments and had to overcome situations beyond my comfort zone.

I am a princess. I live the fairy tale.

I also have a career, my own family, responsibilities and Ive become a woman that carries tissues and light snacks in her handbag amongst the Dior lipgloss and DKNY sunglasses.

If you think I have it all, you are wrong – there would never be a sequel if happily ever after was so simple. I battle my own demons and struggle with my own issues daily, have things I want to improve, goals I want to reach BUT I choose to look through fairy tale glasses.

It’s a choice like what I’ll eat at Breakfast. Fairy tale eyes let’s me escape the dull and mundane and with the average Disney film lasting approximately 90minutes I still have time to fantasise and do the dishes…I’m just waiting for seven dwarfs to arrive and half a dozen bluebirds to dust my living room. You can get these on Amazon right?

Perspective is something I often end up writing about, I’m sure its because as I grow mine alters and experiences cause me to change my opinions. This quote is shouting out that you can already have the fairy tale – that you’ve been living it since the day you was born…if thats how you decide to see each day.

Perhaps you aren’t a natural glass half full person, or may be you’ve been the ugly sister, Genie in the lamp for others for a little too long. For what its worth I believe you can still go to the ball, live happily ever after and slay any dragons along the way. To do this will take courage to change and small steps to a better tomorrow, but if we’re honest we have all wondered what happened to the ugly sisters anyway….perhaps they won the lottery, found some spiritual alignment, loved themselves and ran away in the night with a hansom man from another kingdom. Or may be they learnt to knit, sorted that cupboard out and got dinner ready on time to watch Eastenders.

Enjoy the journey of your own happy ever after. what Disney character resonates with you?


 

  

My goal is to design a life I don’t need a vacation from.

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Quote by Rob Hill (sorry for the reflection of my PJ top in the photo)

Our last holiday was in 2011, it was pre little people and had the added sparkle of an engagement ring.

Since then life has taken over and although we have had breaks and fun a long the way, my case has been discarded in the loft whilst grown up priorities have kidnapped my bank account. This year will be different and I can’t wait.

However, my life aside – imagine a life where you don’t need a vacation because frankly life is already so diverse, incorporates travel and new cultures, where you enjoy your job and don’t feel the need to stop because maybe you already have the balance of calm and relaxation and new and exciting experiences.

This is living.

I feel so very sorry for anyone who hates every working day and lives for that one day off or a week away at some point, that is exhausting. That is surviving and the world is full of so many opportunities, choices and options that to be in a world as I’ve just described surely leads to ill health a life that is unfulfilled and even an early death.

I’d love to say when I’m doing house work Disney bluebirds sit on my shoulder, that I’ve never spent hours in AnE with a sickly child or that dark times haven’t knocked on my door (damn me for being polite, popping the kettle on and inviting the dark times inside my home) of course life isn’t always joyful, if it was we’d take it for granted and wouldn’t appreciate the wonderful moments however small and precious. Many highly successful individuals only reached their dreams due to lack and the desire to improve their current situation rather than wallowing in it – not to mention huge amounts of work and dedication plus working beyond other peoples expectations and perhaps further than they felt they could at the time…but there is a crucial word in this quote.

‘Goal’ something to aim for, something to aspire towards and perhaps never fully achieved BUT a focus for attention and a direction that I am striving for. Sometimes the journey is the joy, the excitement and the thrill to get to a life where a vacation isn’t necessary may seem far fetch, not currently there yet, I can’t tell you the answer but think I’m a step closer by balancing life’s darker days and opening the curtains; shining the light on the things that I do have, showing gratitude for the experiences, tastes and sights my world has experienced

Perhaps it’s time to review your goals in life, what you’d like or where you want to go…or may be like me you’ve found it in this quote.

Sparkle and pixie dust

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 Quote by from the cinematic sensation – Peter Pan.

The recipe for life at times may seem a little complex. Especially if like me you are short and everything in life’s supermarket seems to be on the top shelf. Dream holidays and opportunities can seem out of reach as we settle for smaller breaks closer to home or live with a ‘make do’ mentality.

Today (it’s 5:35am) I have decided to up the game. This post is one I hope I can reflect on at a later point and say ‘see I did it’. The universe doesn’t like it when we share our goals, so I shan’t explicitly write down what I hope to achieve, you’ll have to trust me that it involves a richer experience of life for myself and my family – both in my bank account and in our memories.

Many mentors and gurus / self help books and such only write once they’ve achieved their success. They write in a reflective tense and I always think it makes it a little ‘top shelf’.

Perhaps you too are not prepared to settle and want to jot down your desires, dreams after all are only a mind set away.

The first ingredients we will need are faith and trust. Luckily I have some already and waiting. I believe I’m worthy of the best life has to offer and there are no blocks in my mind stopping me. Believing (faith) and knowing it has merit (trust) is a potent combination. It’s time to add some action and being a fan of anything glittery I know the pixie dust will appear like magic.

I wish you luck. See you at the successful and happy finish line (be warned the finish line of life has a habit of moving forward and the way there is never straight)

Set some goals and then demolish them 

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

 Quote by Anon.
I’m a really good goal setter, what I’m not so good at is sticking out goals out for long periods of time, or I get so excited I want to do them in unattainable time limits.

Being a teacher i’ve recently returned for a new academic year and this is the time I set new goals, of course I always set the classic ‘I will mark books more efficiently’ and ‘I will organise the planning of lessons more efficiently’ and then inevitably life gets in the way…

Recently, I have committed to reading the top 100 books, of course I’ve already read some of them – but I’d like to reread them and I’ve decided to pop a little review inside each one. At the moment I’ve begun with number 1: To kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. I have read it before but not for a long time. So why have I set myself this challenge? Because if I’m honest I’m not very eloquent or particularly ‘wordy’ and id like to improve my diction. (I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going via Twitter @whatmyfridgesay)

Next up is a challenge I set my New year 7s – write down a list of five achievements you have already done. Then add one that you succeeded in today.

The list is individual to you – maybe it was a success to get out of bed this morning or despite the traffic get to work on time. May be (like half of my class) you are part of a team that can win certificates / medals or competitions. It really doesn’t matter how big or small they are, or that anyone else noticed – what matters is that you are demolishing goals and proud to look at the list. Warning: this technique for self motivation is highly addictive and you may end up keeping a regular journal on them or find lists in places you never thought they would be.

Give it a go…set your goals and then demolish them! 😉 let me know your current goals below

Don’t look back…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 A quote from Marcia Wallace

I should probably add that this is a book title; I’ve never read it but would love a review below if you have.

As a teacher I often reflect. Was the lesson objective met? How could I adapt that task? Reflection also pops it’s head up in assessment and school reports and I obviously always use the past to form my opinion.

As a woman I look back on past relationships (and wonder what was I thinking?), compare them with close friends and share our tales of arguments and let downs.

As a mother I look at J, secretly compare him to every small goblin we have ever met and rationalise in my brain his strengths, weaknesses and everything inbetween. Completing this task with activities to fill the gaps and enhance his talents.

However, in my brain, the past is irrelevant – I’m moving forward. ‘I’m not going that way’ again, so why credit it with time? After all, we have all learnt that time is such a precious commodity.

I’d be pure Pinocchio if I suggested I don’t think about, analyse and cogitate about the past…I believe we are all on a journey (some more exciting than others) and sometimes we get lost or stay too long in the wrong company, make the wrong choices or simply forget the map. From this, I believe my journey is about being ‘better’ not perfect or maybe ever reaching the goal I’m aiming for – but if I’m aiming,  doing it better. Being a better teacher, a better role model, a better partner, friend and mummy.

I’m not sure I therefore can uphold Marcia’s quote or do it justice. However, I do think it’s a fab quote that is best served when we get caught up in the loop holes of the past or fester for too long in a negative environment. For this, it’s one of my favourites for motivating us to look at the future.

Living for the moment isn’t something I find naturally easy, I’m a teacher – a bell goes off every hour to indicate my next task, class change over or when its break and I can pee. My holidays are routined and training is diarised a year in advance. However, aren’t those spontaneous nights of fun with friends or that unplanned get together with family always the best?

So, despite the glaring calendar all set up and ready for the new academic year – I declare this summer unplanned, moving forward and seizing new opportunities. Who knows I might even draft up a 5 year plan (in pink pen and with colour coded stickers) for my career and home life?

As someone that has little knowledge on 5 years plans, share below your tips for moving things along, I’d really appreciate it.