A memory is a star or a stain

Quote by d.j

When you started to read this blog, even though it was a few words a go…it’s now in the past. Every microsecond a little drop in the ocean of your life. We can’t remember all the individual droplets and we often romanticise the past, interpret to meet our current thoughts and feelings and in doing so change the horizons perspective. Constantly in motion, life is very much passing us by.

Don’t panic. We aren’t meant to be present in every moment, some days I’m grateful not to remember some aspects. I do however believe we are often our happiest when we are ‘in the moment’ not thinking ahead to what to plan for dinner, what needs doing later, feeling guilty for chores we should have already done.

Wherever you are in life, whether you have a sea of wisdom behind you or a puddle of doubt, it can be useful to reflect on if that’s how you want your life to look…are you a storm of chaotic tides, holding your last breathe before you’ll be swept to the next wave of drama or a calm lake that’s so serene it’s dull?

To carve a life worth living I often think you need a little of both, the stains of life teach us incredible lessons and can also easily be removed bleached by the sun. Light gives new perspectives just as stars have guided seamen home from long travels.

Stars, the brighter moments of life that can give us wonder, joy and direction can often start or become stains. Marriages that have gone sour, life that has become death, the ‘perfect’ job that consumes your soul.

Where am I going? Don’t sweat the stains, they can be softened with age, memories blurred or abandoned. My sons stained T-shirts covered with memories of spaghetti bolognaise can often disappear with a sunny day. The stains make us and the stars take our breath away. Both have a place to make for a wonderful life.

You must be shapeless, formless, like water.

Quote / poem / thoughts by Bruce Lee.

Todays post is inspired by Bruce Lee, before I ramble – id like to share the piece in its entirety.

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”

Simply beautiful.

I became aware of these words as I listen to the GABA podcast (and urge you to do the same), during a live on instagram Adam the creative and talented creator of GABA usally shares a reading, poem, lyric or thought before a meditation sound bath…one of them was the Bruce Lee reading above. It taught me two valuable things.

The first was to let go…truly let go. Today I had no idea what I would achieve, I let go of constructs such as time – we ate when we were hungry (so much simpler), at the back of my mind I repeated to myself a new mini mantra ‘be like water’….the time we have now, albeit unknown and at times concerning, is also a blessing for me personally. Grounded to home, time with my boys – a blessing that I’m also aware could be snatch back to school runs, work schedules, traffic jams and to do lists at any moment. However, through my days water experiment I found far more joy in the now, zero stress and bizarrely I was more productive. Perhaps opening ‘to do’ tabs of the mind, answering emails in under six minutes (the average response time to an email in 2020) and being productive, is ironically time consuming and unproductive?

We took ourselves off for walks amongst the bluebells (thank you Mother nature), connected with loved ones through various technologies and my sons home schooling happened much more like a running river than a mother (me) juggling and trying to overachieve whilst walking on hot coals and simultaneously smiling. It gave me a deeper sense of connection and gratitude for the simple delights of life and I’m addicted.

The second thing Bruce’s words taught me were about collaboration. Adam obviously had scribbled them down because they resonated with his creative flare, in turn he shared them with his audience and gave me inspiration for a blessed day and as many more ‘be like water’ moments and days as I can flow into my life, this is turn inspired me to write this piece….and once again, creativity seems to bring a sense of calm, restorative joy and flow to life.

I should probably wrap this writing up with a bow, a witty line or perhaps a single sentence… or you could just listen to Bruce, be like water and perhaps you will leave the confinements of being squeezed into a plastic bottle and will indeed find your own flow.

Accountability breeds response-ability.

Quote by Stephen Covey.

Earlier in the week I listened to a podcast called Happy Place; it’s host is the dazzling Ferne Cotton and she was speaking to Russell Brand. They were discussing the current pandemic and how they as individuals are dealing with it (well worth a listen and available on all joyful podcast platforms from Spotify to Apple)…I enjoyed listening to what they had learnt through the process of having less routine, lockdown moments of joy as well as feelings of anxiety and the unknown. Ferne in particular made a point that resonated with me, she was talking about how her husband Jessie had been asking their elderly neighbour if they needed anything from the supermarket and had spoken together about why they had never done this previously. On my Instagram page I have been running a hashtag over the last few weeks called #kindnessiscontagious and I thought it was a lovely lesson to have learnt, that probably had a huge impact on their neighbour.

However half way through I felt myself become overwhelmed and frustrated, both of them were saying things like ‘I hope society doesn’t forget the things we have learnt during this time’ ‘we will probably return back to how things were’ and I found myself shouting at my iPhone. Two hugely influential celebrities weren’t committing themselves to making a change. Imagine the impact they could have made it rather than hoping they stated what they intending to continue to do.

Everyday we learn lessons (and often I relearn lessons I should of learnt the day before) its part of the human condition and I like to think we are all trying to be better people, living better lives. However, improvement whether it be spiritual, physical or action based can’t occur unless we take responsibility.

I have a very dear friend and we often make each other accountable with what we plan to achieve in the coming weeks, we then check in on how those projects are going. By sharing my ideas it makes me more likely to achieve them – its one of the reasons weigh-ins in corporate companies like Weight watchers have huge success.

I know that if I want to accomplish something, I need to take action (however small) to move forward, it’s the recipe for perpetual motional success and more importantly, making a change.

Therefore, in the coming weeks I’m going to start a new hashtag (because hashtags solve all issues) #lockdownlesson where I will share, and I warmly invite you to play along, what you plan to continue to do once the lockdown is over.

All you need to do, is use the hashtag above, note down (and therefore take responsibility) for what you plan to continue to do and add my instagram handle @fridgesays so that I can share your lesson on my stories to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if your lesson is profound (meditating daily – this is the something that I hope to achieve and am committed to), simple (walking more), sparks joy (wearing pyjamas during the day – something my son has become accustom to), increasing your physical strength, keeping a stock pile of toilet rolls in, washing your hands more or like Ferne suggested – reaching out to neighbours and building a stronger sense of community. Each lesson is worthy and will become a drop in the ocean to a more awesome planet.

Thank you in advance for playing along, if each of us take and action just one small lesson – imagine how awesome our planet would becomes and how this pandemic can be a positive experience.

Write until you surprise yourself

Quote Anon

I do this all of the time, sometimes when I read back over all blog posts, I can’t remember thinking the paragraphs I’ve typed, let alone the structure, point or pressing publish…in fact, often I don’t even remember writing the content.

This is why today’s quote will hopefully encourage you to write a little more. Perhaps you have your own blog, a note book, a secret diary or a shopping list. From published authors to list gurus there is always a little more time to write in my opinion.

In school when my pupils are overwhelmed with emotion and they don’t even know why they are feeling the way they are, I usually present them with a pencil and some paper – sprinkle with half an hour of uninterrupted time and the answer is usually somewhere between the doodles and waffle. Letting your mind go free with the written word is one of the best gifts we can give to each other. As the pencil flows across the page somewhere between “I don’t know why I’m writing this” to the ‘love from xxx’ magic happens.

I feel like writing allows me to ‘speak’ from my inner core, a place that’s always in harmony. Over the last few weeks I’ve increased my writing, due in part to having more time but mainly because the need has increased. With more uncertainty comes the need to further anchor the soul, the body tends to follow. If you ‘can’t write’ or if you have previous described yourself as someone who ‘doesn’t do writing’ (like my son – he has an extreme allergy to holding a pencil and sitting still) or perhaps you are looking for a sign…here it is! Pick up a pencil, create the writing area you are most comfortable in (mine includes a cup of Green Jasmin tea), find a platform you are most comfortable in…paper, typing / online or in private and see where the nib of the pen takes you, or the journey of the mouse on your device.

Most of all, don’t overthink it, enjoy the process and thank me later.

The time goes by faster than you can imagine.

Quote from John Cooper

Ive just been pondering the concept of time. I thought you couldn’t grab it, smell it or taste it but I think perhaps you can…when I see sepia photographs of the past or historical books – I can see time has unfolded (not to mention facebook photos of myself from a decade or two ago), when I smell fresh cut cucumber I’m taken on a journey back to my childhood on my Grandads allotment. He always use to grow me a ‘L’ for Lucy and I always left feeling super important, never fully appreciating that the straight cucumbers with little fragrance in the supermarket weren’t really the real deal.

Mainly, I think we all ‘feel’ time…the pressure or perhaps the weight of it. Routines seem to consume time, turning days into brief moments and daunting minutes still to come are granted a loss of several nights sleep. Its often something we never have enough of, a little like its sister Money. We desire it and then often, when we have it in abundance we aren’t sure what to do with it? Wasteful sunday afternoons spent in and out of sleep on the sofa watching films we’ve seen before, or long walks that have no particular start, end or anything in between.

We remember the good times and of course the bad, we celebrate specific times – birthdays, holidays and traditional moments throughout the year. We bank some memories for rainy days and look back with fondness or regret. But mainly, the times keeps ticking and we take it for granted. Never fully grasping its precious gift of now.

Perhaps you’re like me and try and live in the now, but that in itself seems to create a bigger void between you and it? I’m afraid I don’t have any wisdom for this…i’m still working it out, I do know a few things; meditation is more powerful than we’d like to think and easier than everyone else makes out, but ultimately the best way to make the most of the fragile time we do have is grasp it with both hands, travel, listen to music, cook, practise yoga, run…do whatever it is that makes you smile. Seek the sun, drink the tea, surround yourself with wonderful people that make you happy and go to bed each night knowing you lived the best day you could with everything you had available to you. After all, that’s all any of us have – right now.

The Saturday session #54

Welcome to another #thesatsesh blog, thanks for joining us and i’d like to take the opportunity wish you an awesome week ahead. I’m personally trying to keep November very present and calm. I’ve already seen the Christmas decorations in the shops and I refuse to have the last 60 days of the year swept up in a sea of tinsel. I’m making the most of what November has to offer…so far traffic jams, pumpkins and late nights at work…ooo and sparklers. I guess like most months the good and the bad.

As always my cohost Hayley has picked a featured blogger (click here to see who it is) or keep reading and see who I selected. This week Isabel from ‘Sustainable responsible living’ caught my eye, her post lit up the linky…(too corny? even for me) Okay, she wrote a post all about ‘being a lighthouse for others’ – a metaphor I adored. Reaching out and creating a positive and conscious life it what my life it all about, obviously I’m still in training pants, but its something I strive from. If your new to Isabel’s blog then its certainly worth a read, she solves environmental issues in a compassionate and kind manner – whats not to love! She is also not too hippy and operates in the real world so her results are achievable. This week I listened to a podcast that has shown me I need to stop eating meat, I’ve made little nudges to it, but I know in the next few months this is a goal I personally need to strive for. Gosh, being kind is exhausting! One thing that isn’t is Isabel’s view of the world #inspiring

Many thanks if you are rejoining us, new and shiny or just using us to read some awesome blogs. Blogger’s click the link below to start the party….or just click and read (I personally recommend a cup of tea to accompany)

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  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new

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  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough

  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

 

The Saturday session #53

Its bonfire weekend in my village and I can not wait. This year we aren’t having friends and family over, instead we will be guests at a neighbours. I’m really looking forward to being the ‘visitor’ its my personal favourite, probably because I don’t have to rush the cleaning this weekend and then do it all over again when people leave. I love the procession, the anticipation and of course the fire works. We was also blessed with some pretty cute trick or treaters this week, so this townie chick may be embracing country life after all.

Hayley my cohost picks a featured blogger each week, but stick around to see who I selected. She’s a regular on the blog, who usually if not always joins us before we’ve even tweeted. She is a passionate mummy with many skills and in this post I discovered her children also have the gift of being bilingual. Spectrum Mum (Catie) discusses how to approach raising a multi talking house and also warns against the pitfalls. I never really mastered a linguist tongue at school and now regret the opportunity to embrace new cultures, in my defence my french teacher was terrifying and I got a B through fear, but the gift of a voice beyond the mother tongue isn’t something I can offer my little dude and so if I’m honest I read this post with envy. Like everything when it comes to raising little people Catie talks about the delicate balance needed, communication of rules, research and how to not overwhelm them…parenting is tough. However, Spectrum Mums post is awesome if you are able or thinking of jumping into a multitude of languages. Its well worth a read, her guidance as always is invaluable.

Many thanks if you are rejoining us, or if you simply enjoy the range of posts #thesatsesh community provide, please as always read the rules below and click the blue box (up to two posts from any genre, old or new are welcome).

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being you.

Quote by Wayne Dyer.

As we approach the end of the first month of 2018, I felt this quote resonated with every human on the planet who had set a new goal, challenge or New Years resolution. Particularly those who have already hung up their gym pass, quit the diet or has found their soul drowned in another bowl of soup… it happens.

For goal setting targets I’ve written several posts Click here to read why it pays to be stubborn but at perhaps a time that you have ‘failed’ ‘given up’ or realised that dry January isn’t an excuse to drink gin for a month (*I was sad when I heard this too) I want to remind you that you are awesome just the way you are. Sounds sickly I know, but it’s true. You are good at being you. I promise that if you have kids they love our imperfections and all; although I wouldn’t directly ask them. This week I curled my hair and my son (four years old) told me I looked like Rapunzel. As a Disney fan I was blown away – until he corrected me that it was the witch he was thinking of.

I don’t want to bring my children up in a world where perfection is ‘plastic fantastic’ where desirable looks can only be accomplished by a thousand filters and the social media acceptance of an abundance of hearts, likes and comments. I don’t want humans to become robotic and only come in ‘one size fits all’, our imperfections create our beauty.

We all have talents that vary from scientist geniuses, medicinal wizards and international superstars… I make a fantastic roast, can occupy a toddler in a car for multiple hours and give good hugs (not all at the same time), I make a good friend, kind teacher and feel accomplished most days.

As we jump into February I urge you to take five minutes, pour a coffee and write a list of everything you like about yourself. I advise you to be kind to yourself; treat yourself to those new jeans, the shoes or that ‘thing’ that floats your boat. If I was a doctor I would prescribe you with a luxury treatment, a trip to the cinema, or a date night that’s overdue… if you have a new born then I’m adding a hot drink to that prescription. Allow February to be the month you made time for self love, for gratitude for all you do have. I promise it’s more than most.

You’re the best and being you. You’re already winning in 2018, you don’t need to change a thing.

You are the sunshine that makes my day

This quote, like many seems to be the work of the very busy Anon.

Regular readers will know I live in the UK; the biggest give aways are how I spell ‘Mum’ and my British need to write about the weather, use weather related similes and metaphors (when Disney is out of stock) and generally to cloud my writing with lightening bolts of weather related vocabulary…see what I did there 🙂

Its therefore no shock that this quote caught my eye and caused a sunbeam to shine within me. I have written as have most other bloggers about my love for my blog and also how sometimes social media doesn’t always give you the entire truth. I have to say that it isn’t exactly truthful in my corner of the internet, as I choose not to share everything. The downside is this doesn’t give a 360 degree perspective. The fabulous side is I keep some privacy and don’t chose to share the negative. As a person who believes that you manifest what you are in alignment with and is 97% positive I don’t wish to ramble about the negatives of life on a regular basis.

When it comes to Instagram (please join me @fridgesays) I post a photo most days and recently have been posting things that make me happy. Sometimes its an object I’ve owned for years; like a glass snail I picked from my Grandads house after he past away. It now sits on our bedroom window sill and we actually coordinated the entire rooms colour scheme around it.

The recent political election was heavily influenced by young voters and social media. It’s a new way of expressing ourselves. I don’t believe everything I see, hear or read and I apply the same in the virtual world. I choose to follow yummy mummies who are ultra glam and who’s photos reflect things that make my Instagram feed light up like a rainbow, I use it to make myself laugh, feel good and often take inspiration from people’s feeds. Recently my friend @hilaryhobanphillips (seriously follow her, her feed and work is beautiful) introduced me to a crazy colourful feed from @1000wave – when I grow old I want to look as bright and bouncy as this diva! Just looking at her feed allows me to smile and causes sun beams to flow.

People around us can heavily impact our emotions, both sun beams and thunder storms are frequent in my house, but a quick swipe through Instagram often makes me feel better. I also often record little things my son has done, seen or said, this makes for a fabulous visual memory box of joy. Showing gratitude to those around me also makes me feel awesome and let’s not forget the mighty joy of Pinterest as we create boards of wonder. I don’t bake a cake without double tapping and there’s a board for any home improvement or crazy creative task! Yay 🙂

Social media often gets a bad reputation and although I realise there is a dangerous, unconnected and sinister side to the internet, it’s also pretty amazing. So how do you use social media to enhance your sunny days? More importantly who’s IG feeds are your favourite?

*written sitting in the sun in my garden sipping a strawberry cider – win!