In 2009 I gave up ironing.

Since my Mother had ironed for my family my entire life, give or take some time at university and away from the nest…i’d probably ironed only a handful of times when I retired from the chore.My retirement was announced as the fashion world had moved on and I had discovered ways around shirts, non iron fabrics and frankly it was dull and something I didn’t wish to do. Mr F kindly offered to help out, on the odd occasion that a fitted shirt was required and life went on…

This Christmas we had a wonderful family break, shared with friends and loved ones popping by. I somehow lived in the kitchen, in a cooking and washing up frenzy of champagne flutes, party platters and way too many plates in a variety of sizes. As a consequence my marigolds put up a good fight but my nails have entered 2017 fragile and a little worse for wear. However, if you think I’m moaning then you’d be mistaken – I realised there is something cathartic and hugely enjoyable about the mundane tasks life brings. Washing a set of Champagne flutes and then seeing them sparkle on the side board gave me a sense of achievement, the princess in me just likes to make things sparkle!

As normal life resumed the dishwasher has taken over and somehow I missed popping on my marigolds, listening to tunes and kitchen dancing while letting my mind wander…and thats when I realised that washing up was a super power. It allowed me during the chaos of Christmas to escape into my imagination. It also gave me satisfaction – and in turn a burst of happiness.

Further research ensued and yesterday I came out of ironing retirement. I only did about six items and once again retreated to the sanctuary of my kitchen to listen to music and ‘just iron’…I finished the task buzzing with accomplishment and happy. Not only do chores give a sense of responsibility to our children, they increase our pride and resourcefulness.

Then I did some hardcore research and found out that there is a connection to the lack of mundane tasks we have to do these day (mainly thanks to technology )and the increase in poor mental health. Now, Im not naive to think that all mental health stems from a lack of ironing, if this were the case the NHS would be handing out cleaning applicances instead of prescriptions. But for a general sense of happiness, a simple connection seemed to work for me.

Basic chores can reduce anxiety, lower stress and tasks you can do together with your partner can give you essential ‘talk time’ leading to stronger relationships – there was a study in 2015 that suggested that doing mundane DIY tasks together or washing up regularly meant you had a better sex life. Im pessimistic with this data and think its probably something the couples in 2015 would rather do than paint a wall.

Cutting the grass can actually make you more joyful. This is down to a chemical released in the freshly cut blades of grass that make you relax. I have to say I do find the smell of cut grass wonderful and it does make me relax – but as for pushing the lawn mower, I’m currently serving a life ban, as my only attempt to use our petrol driven motor nearly had me in the pond.

Making your bed is meant to ‘give you a positive boost’. Ive always made my bed in the mornings, so may not notice how this makes me feel – although I do get frustrated when I’m off to work and Mr F is still snuggled, I’m pretty sure this is down to jealousy of him still being in it and not my desire to make my bed?

Now to get a little more serious…despite mocking the research slightly, I can see its worth. A sense of pride in something that boosts your positivity. A clean house does make me happy…sure I could get a similar boost by coming home and finding it was done by a cleaner that I hired or a fairy that visited – but it isn’t the same as doing it yourself, the sense of pride is missing.

Before you all comment on how ‘in an act of kindness’ I can clean your homes this year, I absolutely couldn’t take the joy factor away from you. So, find pleasure in the simple task, use dusting to escape into a world of magic – after all it worked out beautifully for Cinderella.

Latin proverb

1st January in the U.K. was wet and grey, like the hangovers of the nation it hung its head under the covers and didn’t want to play.

A weird feeling came over me as we packed away the Christmas lights, it wasn’t of sadness but more of a waiting; was the year going to hold all I hoped? I remember thinking I probably had similar feelings about the year ahead as my son does on Christmas Eve, hoping he had been good enough to make the good list…waiting to see. 

During the Christmas joy I had decided to try my own homemade marshmallows, I’d bought the ingredients, checked recipes an online tutorials – but I hadn’t made them, I was anxious. Candy making recipes call for precision and boiling sugar can be complex…perhaps I’d seen too many tutorials but I realise is sounds ridiculous to read – I was scared of the recipe going wrong. 

At the moment I caught myself making excuses, I saw the anxiety and I thought ‘I’m f*cked if I’m going to start 2017 being scared of a squidgy puff of sugar’…

I hit the 80’s tunes, I mixed, boiled and whisked and guess what…

Like magic, I did it! I ran around the house with my mixture, I posted a pic on social media…this was not about making marshmallows, this was about (however silly it may appear) overcoming, being resilient and winning. 

As I write this I’m watching my son cry and overcome his fears of the water during a swim lesson…water is his marshmallow today. 

I’m sure if 2017 is as good as I hope, there will be many marshmallow days, they’re worth overcoming, after all you might end up learning how to swim or you may be able to enjoy the taste of sugar boiled to a precise 240 degrees. Whatever your anxieties are, or however brave you have to be I truly hope 2017 favours you. 

Quote by Jigoro Kano

Seriously wise and on the surface completely right. Effort equals reward…doesn’t it? 

Sometimes I find in class that whilst the little demons get praise for sitting on a chair for thirty seconds, the effort of the averages go unnoticed – they try and effort is their best friend but sometimes society over looks effort.

When I do my hair because we are going out out and I feel amazing, Mr F doesn’t always notice. In fact sometimes I’m not sure he has even noticed that I’m siting across the table from him. Effort can be transparent 

Before you think I’m off my usual positive vibes, wait because a sprinkle of joy is moments away. 

I don’t think a feeling of accomplishment can come from anyone other than yourself, sure they can praise you (or in Mr Fs case notice my existence) but for me the joy and delight of accomplishment is the warm fuzzy feeling you feel, deep inside that you can’t bottle, inject or give away and that means one thing…

You can always put effort in and enjoy your own acccomplishment. 

When you are enough, when you love you enough and you know you tried your best – the outcome becomes irrelevant. 

When I feel good and know I’ve taken pride in my appearance, when I’ve put effort into an activity or outing and the family are ‘loving life’ I can take accomplishment. 

If accomplishment was a neighbour, she’d take in your parcels for you. She might even drop in a couple of slices of cake after an afternoon of baking. She would be a good neighbour, one you’d always make the effort for. 

So, in the week ahead and with a clean slate, let’s give the effort that we can, absorb the accomplishment that we feel and may be recognise the effort of others that we surround ourself in. After all, kindness and recognising other people’s positives is free and     may just make somebody else’s day. 

Quote by Niels Geusebroek 

A new year is coming (fast)

Hope of a new year, resolutions and a fresh beginning are all something we need every now and then. 

Perhaps much like the celebrity and idol massacre of 2016 you haven’t enjoyed this year. For myself it’s been kind, but not a stand out year that I’ll always look back on…way better than 2015 though – that was dull. 

I always think that years are much like the weather system with a personal overview of hailstones or patchy clouds and bursts of sunlight. 

Storms can play a part. We have all had stormy events that hit our families, leaving devastation and carnage in their wake. You never know when a storm may hit either, I find that Mother Nature can hurl a tsunami at the most beautiful sunny beach without much warning…life can also come in waves of destruction when you least expect it. Much like the weather system a storm moves on and so do negative people, horrendous event and death. 

We live near a beautiful woods, there are still trees rotting from the storm of 1987 (a little tot at 5 years old I remember my Dad having to hold me down from ‘doing a’ Mary Poppins across my school playground) and it made me think…when an event much like a storm hits our lives, sure we move on (like the quote suggests) but we are richer for the experience, much like the soil under the trees destroyed by the storm, or we rot like the tree trunk – never to transform through the seasons or reach new heights.

The vast weather elements allow us to experience contrast, and I for one enjoy my sunny days of carefree blue skies that little more for knowing how wet shoes and damp hair (which in my case equals huge amounts of frizz) can feel. Like a tall tree that finds itself in a huddle on the Forest floor after the impact of a hurricane it wears its experience well, a new place to hide, or perhaps it supports moss and plant life…sure not the tall and elegant tree it once was, but like us it can still be beautiful after its experience – it’s simply a matter of perspective and growth.

With this in mind, I hope you have escaped any blustery winds in 2016 but should a storm hit you out of the blue in 2017 – emerge better, richer and fully in knowledge rather than allow the weather to consume you and of course love every glimpse of sun and joy you have the pleasure to experience. 

Quote by Seneca

I have a blogging secret, as a rule breaker I’m obviously going to tell you and slam it over the World Wide Web. Blogging has made me realise that all my motivational posts are usually about the same four topics. I noticed it early in my blog life – seriously look back over my posts and you’ll see the same content just adjusted, tweeked and usually if I’m writing it has some crazy metaphor attached, Disney or a sprinkle of glitter over it. What are they?

1. Love – it’s all we actually accumulate, share and express everything else that humans have created from time to money is beyond useless and usually makes us feel crap. Love saves us, grounds us and if Father Christmas is reading this can be happily given to me in a size two UK Jimmy Choo at any point in the near futures (seriously FC don’t limit yourself to December)

2. On from love is a deeper and much more fulfilling love. Self love. The great thing about appreciating and loving yourself, recognising your worth is you reap the rewards every time. You stimulate self love in others, that then in turn comes back to you. It’s a win win and when we one day stop hating ourselves, wake up and realise this it will shake our planet for the better.

3.Perspective. Seriously when I get in a stress over the way Mr F folds the towels – I need some perspective , sometime out and obviously I need to refold the towel to ever be happy again. In this busy world we are constantly fighting for perspective, it gets eaten by society’s obsession with its ugly big sister stress and don’t even get me started on her twin anxiety…they take huge chunks out of perspective and sometimes all we need is five minutes to re-evaluate and reach for a lipgloss / cup of tea (or whatever it is that is your quick fix)

4. Balance. Like the siblings of perspective we all need to be much better at being balanced individuals; physically, emotionally, financially…the list is endless. Contrast let’s us know what we want and don’t want. Cake everyday will give us diabetes. Talking and not listening makes uneducated minds but balance allows contrast and this allows us to be content, to dream and to be happy in our present moment. It is a continuous game that we all play and I’m not very good at it at times either.

Why have I told this secret, well I guess I want you to know that Ive realised it myself but that I think there is value in constantly reminding ourselves of these key themes that enhance our lives and those we surround ourselves by. With my trusty and creative fridge we obviously have a soft spot for quotes, some people prefer podcasts, Vlogs, books – the list is endless.

BUT here is the really good bit, its common property, everyone with some editing and adjustment can be happier. All the good ideas are fusions and reinventions of old ideas. Very little is new and that gives me hope. It allows me to reach for the stars because if Sclub7 could – so can I. Sure we can sugar coat lives and complicate it to our taste and we should as that gives us choice and diversity – but remember when looking at for example your nutrition, you don’t necessarily need to stop eating any food groups, blend it, juice it or take it in tablet form – a balance of exercise, moderation and portion control will do the same. These key themes are so powerful for us all in reaching our potential, in allowing our children to thrive. So whilst I put the kettle on and have a five minute perspective analysis, what will be your next focus? Do you have any other key themes you think are essential to living positively, because after some thought happiness and health are all I can think of? The 4 themes above help us to move closer to those goals but I’d love to hear what has enhanced your world for the better. 

Quote from Anon…she is so busy writing quotes here, there and all over Pinterest.

Last week I witnessed yr11 pupils with a motivational teachers giving them the skills to revise. It was interactive and the speaker was a charismatic character of wonder. Looking around the room I was pleased with how many pupils were eating out of his hands and absorbing his top tips and pearls of wisdom…and then sadness hit, there were some who heard the word ‘revision’ ‘exams’ and turned off into a world of denial, self doubt and teenage misery. 

I wanted to shake them (didn’t, this is frowned on) and sprinkle some smiles and love over them. I wanted to say ‘you’re 15yrs old with this negative vibration life is going to be long, hard what have you got to lose by giving it a go’. Although I realise teenage-ism is a temporary disability that many adults have moved on from and achieved, it made me think.

It made me ponder on my power as a role model, both as a teacher and a mother. As a parent it’s a little harder if I’m honest, I have this inner desire to bubble wrap my bundle, to shield him from the dark, to scoop him up when he falls – even though I know I need to let him learn for himself, build resilience and stand back. (*sighs at the thought of not being able to do the above bubble wrapping process every moment of every day; and add a bow because presentation matters)

Building self esteem, resilience and faith in our children starts so soon after they enter the world, it’s a role models duty to emulate this…but how can we when doubt disability looms over adults just as much as the young?

After much analysis and a glass of wine I think I needed to remind myself that my son and my pupils need to see me succeed and fail. To learn from the fail, to get up, apologise where necessary and to try again. To admit that I’m scared, anxious or blooming terrified and to do it anyway. To let them see the process because fear is usually irrational, it blocks us and excuses us from moving forward. To watch me try, to leave my comfort zone, to not moan and be pleased with myself even when I didn’t get much out of the process. Most importantly and full of power I want my classes and my less bubble wrapped little man to see that I can. End of story. 

Quote by Mark Nepo.

Do you believe in soul mates? I do.

I also think there are people that are right for you at a certain point in time, but like all good sweaters you can grow out of them and at times they can stretch and look far better on someone else. I’ve had my fair share of sweaters and now I have found my soul mate. Unlike Prince Charming or the Disney ‘forever’ he isn’t always adoring, doesn’t ever notice when I’ve had my highlights done and leaves the dirty plates on the side rather than in the dishwasher. I guess if he was my perfectly fitted sweater upon reflection he can be a little itchy and I struggle to get my head through the neck hole at times. You see a soul mate doesn’t mean perfect fit. For me it’s someone who excepts me, loves me and allows me to grow and develop, in turn we do that together.

How I found him is a yummy story,  much like the quote and the cliche, I wasn’t looking. I was bored of relationships and wanted to date. I could write a book on some of the terribly dull dates I went on. I even drew a stick man of perfection to focus finding my Mr.Forever. Colour coded and labelled what I was seeking, from physical attributes to personality and even a couple of materialistic musts. Meanwhile he had been my friend for several years and I came home, called him and would share how the dates had been from Mr S not cutting the mustard, how unintelligent the man from the bank had been and how speed dating was defiantly not made for me (I speed drank to entertain myself let’s leave it at that).

More importantly when we spoke we discussed other things, he was just as busy as me and dating was a small aspect of my life. Traveling with friends, enjoying the London night life and making memories was at the centre of my world. I went to the gym, took yoga courses and despite my stick man of perfection, I was busy living and oblivious to the potential soul mate sweater by my side. I think this was the key, well there was more of a bunch of keys…

• I didn’t need someone to complete me, I was content in my own universe.
• However, I had my vision on what I required (a list of things all my ex’s weren’t) and I wasn’t prepared to settle or make do. Please never settle, or let friends do the same – life is too short to pretend.
• Much like the flower I was blossoming and that has a certain attraction. It attracts quality Bees or in my case, a rugged muscle physic an independent nature, a desire to travel and a level of spontaneity that means life is fun but that I don’t feel vulnerable…oh and he had air miles. 

I love hearing how couples have met, ours was in Barbados but I’ll save that for another day.

Whatever your current sweater situation, be it you have so many your drawers are brimming (see what I did there) or perhaps you threw out the jumper that made you miserable, gave it to charity and cut off all emotional ties…only to see it worn by a friend or perhaps it keeps returning with the kids every alternative weekend. Whatever your current relationship status, be it happy ever after or riding the waves together or even a single pringle attitude, remember to focus on you first, much like a single flower head, if its abundant in good nectar the best Bee will find it…but watch out for green flies.