Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going to the circus.

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

This is SUCH a good quote and I can’t find out who its by? Confirming once again that Anon rocks.

So often I find myself at the circus. This week I went to soft play with my son. For those without children this is the equivalent of a Saturday night drunken brawl with squidgy walls, but ultimately bodily functions are everywhere and beige food is often consumed – its my hell. However, it was raining and I was meeting my gorgeous zen friend and her little spirited soul.

Our boys were playing beautifully and we were chatting about lovely things, when a clown from the table behind us started hollering that her child (*who was way too big for soft play) had been scratched on the face – she began to cause a scene that would be suitable for a soap opera, the mother of the accused ‘scratcher child’ retaliated. The clown’s had taken the spotlight – it was unpleasant and cringe worthy. The clowns made me sad (clowns can do this) because their children were lapping it up next to them, absorbing the negativity, energised and enjoying every moment. The clowns pointed at each other, spoke unsuitable words, demanded refunds and I realised I was at the circus.

Despite the clowns in this example leaving, we also chose to leave the circus, the rain had stopped and we went to a beautiful empty park surrounded by mother natures calmness. *Note to self, always pack wellies and avoid soft play.

Sometimes in places of work you can find yourself surrounded by clowns, you can even end up slipping in to a costume yourself, but my other favourite circus to avoid are supermarket carparks. I’m not sure why, but in supermarket carparks clowns frequent by pulling out without looking in some sort of slapstick manner. Clowns drive at ridiculous speeds and without caution, escaping trolleys add to the mayhem and shopping bags exploding increases the intense environment of the circus. For this reason, I shop online.

Should you stumble upon a clown performing, my advice is simple – walk away, breath and remember, nobody can force you to buy a ticket. Just like everything in this universe, we always have a choice. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we do, you can feel like the circus tent is collapsing around you, but there are exit signs if you choose to see them. They come in the shape of friends, loved ones, new opportunities and deciding what you want by listening to your instinct.

However, once in a while a ticket to the circus can be highly entertaining, as long as you remember to stay in your seat.

A key to success is to start before you’re ready

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote by Marie Forleo

I’m not sure I really need to write any more than the quote already states, but then what would be the point in owning this domain?

For several years I ran a project for GCSE pupils at my school, they were at risk of not getting the grades the government desires. It was based on the seven principles of success, each fortnight I’d do a mini assembly based on one of the principles for them, set them a task and they would collect signatures in their booklets for completing the task – extra certificates etc along the way.

Guess what. It worked. Guess why? They didn’t over think the mountain in front of them…in small challenges, in small achievable time frames, they blossomed. I took the project over from one of my managers who left during the projects first year. Each pupil also had a mentor to cheer them on, plus me as head cheerleader.

I think if you look at a mountain it seems unachievable, I’m thinking of the mountain of washing permanently in my home but load by load, sock by sock it gets done.

However, this post isn’t about taking small steps – it about not thinking and taking ONE step. Anxiety is prevalent in our society, we are creating children that are even more anxious, lack resilience and have spent most of their life, if not all of it bubble wrapped – I totally get why but to succeed there has to be some action, motion and movement towards the end goal.

When I look back on the years gone by, I don’t want to not have tried to achieve my dreams. However, dreams (well mine anyway) are often huge task, big lifestyle changes and they feel so distant I often don’t know where to start, if I’m honest I’ll never be ready to take huge leaps but I can do something.

I probably keep my own motion going by breaking down larger goal into smaller tasks, so below I’ve listed a few small things that have worked for me.

  • Eat healthier – swap white to brown rice
  • Exercise more – find a five minute YouTube exercise class and just do it
  • Read more – swap the apps on my phone for a 15minute reading session
  • Bake more – add the ingredients to my next shop

What actions have you found have helped you climb your mountain?

We see what we want

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

Quote by Lauren Miller

Today I woke up and I did my morning routine. Its been a routine for a couple of months now and it took a while to get going as I thought only single twenty something youtubers could have them, but also I needed to stop making excuses like my son will interrupt me or I’ve got to much to do, I guess like the quote suggests I needed to see what I wanted.

I go downstairs and make a cup of alkali tea. I return to bed to meditate and then I write in my gratitude journal and set my intention out underneath, whilst sipping my tea.

It works for me. It means I’m in control of my day and since doing this I’ve noticed that I accomplish my intentions for the previous day and that makes me feel good. In total it takes about 25mins from kettle boil to journal and at 5yrs old I’ve taught my son not to disturb me if my earphones are in (I use a guided meditation in the Morning) sometimes he quietly snuggles next to me and sometimes he forgets the rules about earphones and wants to listen too or is excited about telling me about his latest crocodile dream. That’s okay too…

Do you have a morning routine? Mine took a while to come together, it needed to be simple and one that could be interrupted by family life. For example when I went down to make my tea this morning, little dude asked for his breakfast a little earlier. So I made his food at the same time as my cuppa. Ease and flow help me to accomplish my routine, whilst also not over complicating my morning.

I set intentions because life is too precious not to accomplish something every day. Sometimes they are about work, family, my blog, self love or well…anything. The other day me and the little dude had a rare day together, so my intention was simply to stay present and focus on him. I may have focused too hard as the little monster snuck off in the afternoon for a nap because I’d wore him out.

Do you set intentions and have a morning routine? It really helps me to see what we want…or are you too busy to see?

To heal the wound you need to stop touching it

~ Fridgesays ~ 13 Comments

Quote by Jordan Mecale

No matter in life how happy we are, how focused on our goals we are, driven or on track for success, we all have moments where we fall, stumble, trip or in my case ‘stack it’. If my life takes a sudden dive then in seems the universe does a quick back turn and my world crashes…leaving me wounded and often gasping for breath.

When I was a little girl and I fell (playground style – we’re talking 80s with grit and dirty in the wound) my Mum would tell me off for picking at the scab. “It’ll scar Lucy” or “do you want it to become infectious?” She would repeat and I would pick it anyway, too tempted was the dead skin and oozy stuff.

Life is much the same. My lovely Mum guides me and tells me to leave past situations alone…and I repeat patterns of behaviour, let losers use me (seriously who’s the loser?) and pick, pick pick…until relationships become infectious and the wounds they left behind become Grand Canyons in my life.

So what’s a girl to do? I guess on the wound front a little first aid is needed – an antiseptic wipe, a splash of water and the classic solution to all childhood injuries – a whacking great big plaster (I obviously find a Disney character design helps the healing process significantly) and upon reflection the metaphor can directly be flipped to adult relationships and problems. You might need to say sorry (add a antiseptic wipe) or take some action, seek some therapy, help or action but once you’ve done that , leave it the hell alone. Often in many of the Law of attraction podcasts and clips that I listen to the advice is not to wallow in your lack of health, money or finding your soul mate but to embrace what you do have, sure you might not have found ‘the one’ but may be you have a tribe of fabulous friends. Money could be tight but what do you have? Lack really does attract lack, positive attracts positive and if you’ve watched Love Island or any ‘reality’ TV then you’ll know that special always attracts special 😉

I’ve continuously simplified this quote, mainly because I think it can be as easy as we want it to be and humans love to over complicate life. Please don’t think I’m not encouraging action to issues as they arise, the antiseptic wipe of life is crucial but sometimes you’ve gotta shove a plaster on it and move on.

Jar Moments

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments

There are many things we have to teach our little humans, from taking their first steps to the glamour and delights of wiping bottoms, my son still insists that having his bottom behind him is a design fault (as he can’t see it).

Over the Summer holidays I have created ‘Jar Moments’ and have taken several ideas from the web of joy to hopefully teach my son to spread love, be grateful and for him to experience appreciation with a sprinkle of happiness. If you have a little dude or dudet, or even a gaggle of dudes then feel free to join in. My ideas initially came from Jacqueline from Go to Mindfulness who was a featured blogger on #thesatsesh, click the link and you’ll see that in the jar I’ve added some of her inner child ideas. I also used good old pinterest to find some ‘random acts of kindness’ (although its always made me wonder how random a planned jar of activities can actually be?) then I added a few of my own. J isn’t keen on writing and at the grand old age of 5 years and with a teacher for a Mummy if I can sneak in some pencil time then its an added bonus.

However, we’ve actually been doing ‘Jar moments’ for a while and I didn’t set it up as ‘something for my blog’ but friends have asked if they can join in, so I thought I’d take some time to type it up. I’ll be sharing all of our ideas via the hashtag #jarmoments so feel free to follow me on Facebook to see what the latest note out of the jar is, my Facebook page is @whatmyfridgesays of course you can just do the odd note or even create your own jar. I’m using Facebook as a platform as I think it may get lost on Instagram and I also need to show my Fb page a little more love.

Instruction wise the Jar is simple; you simple unscrew the jar (Gratitude goes to Nanny for providing the jar) and pick out a note. You then have 48 hours to complete the task. I gave us this time as I didn’t want it to become a burden on planned days out that we have during the summer holidays.  Once the task is complete and you’ve returned home, pick another to see what adventure the next forty eight hours holds.

You’ll notice that none of the activities cost any money. I really believe that showing love, gratitude and experiencing happiness always comes from the most simple tasks.

I should probably add that you also don’t need a mini dude to play along – why not create a jar for adult self.

I hope you enjoy #Jarmoments and if you do get involved please let me know by sharing pictures, stories and moments. The more love we can throw out in to the world the better.

The Saturday Session #44

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Did someone say Summer? That’s right guys this is our last link up until September.  Frankly I’d be two faced to write posts on how being present is important and then be stuck to a device rather than spending a sizzling summer with my boys. So, its good bye from #thesatsesh until September. However, I’m present on Instagram at the moment, so keep in touch via this visual corner of the web or click my blog as I’ve set myself a goal to write more content (twice a week) over the summer, this is mainly as I can now keep my eyes open passed 8pm, unlike my usual working weeks and I love to type when little dude sleeps.

In my house the Mr is mainly home for our dude, so its no surprise that I loved this post from Little Bears Dad all about the equality of parents, who is my featured blogger for this week. As many of you are aware my job in teaching is largely pastoral and I can tell you that their are many Mums who treat their children horrendously, Dad’s who are so distant they are irrelevant and just like the pro’s the con’s are 100% non genital related. After the child’s been conceived what matters is consistency, time, love and and a sprinkle of magic (Okay, magic is a bonus). I adore the clear structure of ‘Dads turn LB’ and the photo of him with his son as a new born creates a squishy heart moment, in truth I think its a bit sad that in 2018 we still need to talk about equality, about why Mums and Dads make equally good parents. Whether two parents are better than one, how children raised by same sex couples may/may not be missing out…..AHHHHH okay, I’ve begun to rant, but honestly if you sat in the child protection conferences that I do, if you have seen that money, race and gender are irrelevant to a child safety, happiness and ability to thrive, then perhaps you too would rant. To little B’s Dad – thank you for speaking out, for creating a platform to inspire other parents and for keeping it real.

Please join us for the last linky before we break, by simply clicking the blue box below and don’t forget to comment on the 4 posts as stated below. Also, thanks for being an awesome community of bloggers 🙂

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on one of each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

Queens don’t compete with hoes

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

Yup, it made me chuckle.

Let’s get a few things straight – competition is for those that need to prove something. Take international sporting events where countries compete to prove who is the best. Olympic athletes train for years to beat someone else, to challenge their physical limitations and I truly admire their skills and dedication.

After sport, competition becomes a little irrelevant. It’s a great self motivator, but beyond testing your own skills it can at times become rather sad. Yes, I’m talking about the boasters of the office, the people who will back stab you for the next rung of the ladder.

This princess was given her title by her first hero – my Dad. The pedestal was exceptionally high and over the years I admit I tussled to keep it. Then a wonderful thing happened – I turned thirty. I stopped giving a sh*t about the competition. I matured (well a little) and I gave myself a promotion. I’m Queen.

The crown fits because it adapts to me. The competition is irrelevant because I don’t serve a king, or one of those draw bridge things you see on Game of Thrones. I am me. I am the ruler of my kingdom, the land is as far as my imagination cares to take me, my mind is my palace. But this isn’t the best bit.

When you love yourself (it can take a lot of work, upkeep and you can’t hire a cleaner to do the dirty work for you) and care less about people that care too much, not only does the competition fade, you win the war. Want even better news?

When there is no competition your own boundaries aren’t compared to others and you thrive, you become limitless. #upgradedcrown

Shall I add the real sparkle of this quote? You see the hoes for what they are and you can see the best in them. They work for their money, they make no apologies and a true Queen will help to raise them up with her.

Nobody can touch your crown if it’s bespoke to you (Think Thor’s hammer but way sparklier) and so this quote needs to be extended according to fridgesays law…

“Queens don’t compete with hoes, or any human or any kind because they are too busy raising them up alongside them”

Sending all the Queens, Kings and haters as much love as they need to work this out and love their own kingdom.

And like a book cover I am what I hide

~ Fridgesays ~ 8 Comments

As soon as I saw this quote my heart did a double flip, after all I love books and I adore quotes.

Probably because I love learning, I like the fact that once we open our eyes as new born’s we don’t stop until our last breath – even if we wanted to. Books are a great place for wisdom, bringing far away lands closer or learning how to rustle up something for dinner.

Book covers however, just like the human body are highly controversial. Within this corner of the internet there are many posts on judgement – so here comes my confession. I totally judge a book by its cover. (*hides head in shame) In brutal honesty I love a cover that is bright and vibrant, if it has glitter – all the better, a little embossing never did anyone any harm…did I mention glitter?

That said a couple of years ago I began to read the top 100 novels of all time, so far I’ve read some epic classic’s and once again I’ll be honest and say that often the covers of the most thrilling book aren’t that vibrant.

However, like my cover or not, I am more complex in the story I tell. If you were to meet me I have an advantage – I can decide what I tell you, how I portray me, the leading lady. I can let you have a quick flick and leave feeling satisfied or I can pour out a chapter if I think you can relate to it, but most of my chapters live inside my head and the best ones are inside my heart. They aren’t shared with the world, loved ones or enemies – some stories live in people so deeply buried that even they forget they are there.

Some people walk around with their book wide open, they have fast track pages to the juicy bits and just like a book, if you expose it to the elements, the paper will perish in time. Others keep their book sealed that it isn’t worthy of existing. It hides in the shadows and without light and adventure the pages are empty. A note book isn’t a life worth living.

This brings me on nicely to genre’s; some people are pure romantics intwined in a relationship that lasts a life time…some are thrillers, crime based tales or I’m afraid – tragedies. Then there are the purely non fiction people who only exist for a work related goal, they usually have a specialism, a niche and there book slowly absorbs the pages of a slice of life. The saddest part about books is how many words they hold. Some are epic tales with thousands of adventures amongst millions of words, commas and full stops…some are only a handful of pages before the book comes to an abrupt end.

So, whilst you work on your happy ever after, I wouldn’t worry too much about putting effort in to your cover, how you appear will probably only attract a shallow reader to the shelf. Instead, as always I’d recommend balance, perhaps invest in a strong spine to hold you together, pay attention to who you decide to share your chapters with, however should it all go wrong, don’t panic – everyone loves a plot twist. Don’t worry if the book isn’t long, we can’t always control the precious time we are given, but do pay attention to the experiences you have, the climaxes and the contrast…and when all is said and done, if you have any budget left, sprinkle a little glitter on your front cover, after all a tale isn’t great if nobody ever reads it.

The Saturday Session #43

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

This week was tough. The last few breaths to the finish line are often the hardest but I can see the summer holidays are just around the corner (well next Tuesday), child protection issues often increases in my job and the paperwork that follows snowballs, extra cuddles are needed and from time to time I teach a lesson in the classroom and my sanity restores. Our dog is really ill at the moment, so home life is also about squeezing in extra doggy hugs and making each paw day count.

Luckily, my featured blogger rocked up with a winning combo of positive tips and a quote from Roosevelt, that is so fridgesays that I lapped it up like a kitten and her cream. Mummy here and there wrote a post titled the ’10 best life tips’ now personally I’d stop reading my waffle and hit the link above, humans suck at doing things that are joyful, we also often need to be reminding of what we should do – probably because we are too busy in our negative patterns of behaviour. Sams post also resonated with me because having read her blog for a while I know that she struggles with mental wellbeing and the chaos of society, even in my darkest weeks I’m a positive princess – but to fight the dark and shimmer is truly heroic, so give Sam a click and you may also leave wrapped in the embrace of karma, the focus to empty your inbox and the thought process to do micro jobs to get the big tasks done.

Hayley, as always also has a featured blogger – click here to see who she has selected. This linky will run until 28th July for summer so that I can be truly present over the vacation period with family and friends in the physical realm, so join now and get involved, below are the rules and the all important blue box. People who don’t follow them, will be deleted in the void of naughtiness. No exceptions made.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.

The Saturday Session #42

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Happy linky lovely #thesatsesh crew. Okay, so time flies in your forties it would seem. I’m excited that soon the UK will be on summer holiday joy, but seriously – slow down, I can’t keep up with the weeks as they fly by and frankly the ‘to do list’ at work can’t be done in the time I have? SOMETHING NEEDS TO GIVE…then I read my featured bloggers post, found a foster Mumma thats winning and said… screw the work list.

View from the beach is this weeks featured blogger, her post on how her daughter handles a ‘friend’ at the park was heart wrenching, but more than that, the way she ‘Mummed’ was beyond joyful. She protected, guided and exposed her daughter to a situation that I can only imagine was traumatic to sit and experience,

To see my son rejected would be like an (inevitable) hot rod being thrust at my spine, I hope when it happens I handle it as well as she did. To talk about it, experience it and learn from it…kids are cruel, adults are actually worse – mainly as they don’t have the excuse of naivety, but to raise a child to be resilient and empathetic is absolutely winning, this is what I see when I read this post…hope for a new generation, thanks to the love and compassion of one Mummy. (Probably winging it like the rest of us). Please click the link above and have a read, its worth it.

Or see who Hayely has picked as her featured blogger by clicking here. Otherwise, have a read of the rules below to refresh your memory and click the blue box underneath to play week #42 of thesatsesh – we will close over the summer and give you an update of dates in the next linky.

RULES

  • Link up You can link up to 2 posts, old or new
  • Grab a badge Please do add #thesatsesh badge. You can do this by copying and pasting the badge code into the text/HTML area of your post within your publishing platform and its located in my side bar for your ease.
  • Tweet Share your posts on Twitter using the linky hashtag #thesatsesh and tag us in for retweets @fridgesays@mummy_mindful. Follow us if you don’t already please.
  • Comment sit back, relax (its the weekend after all). Please use #thesatsesh and in usual linky etiquette comment on each of the hosts posts, mine and Hayleys, the post before and after yours. If you comment on more, that would be wonderful but FOUR is more than enough
  • Following the rules means you may qualify for our featured blogger announced weekly, plus this linky is run by school teachers so detention for anyone that doesn’t. 

OPTIONAL EXTRA: Come and play in our IG community by using #thesatsesh for photos of your weekend or perhaps connected to a post you’ve linked. Follow us on Instagram @fridgesays and @mission_mindfulness_blog and we will keep up to date and follow you back.