wellbeing

Know your worth and then add tax 

~ Fridgesays ~ 40 Comments

Okay, so this quote from Anon is going straight into my top twenty of self love quotes! (Yes, that’s right people I used an exclaimation mark) 

I recently posted a YouTube post on my facebook wall from Kristina Kuzmic (link here because it’s well worth a look), I love her feisty vibe and so once you’ve taken a peep imagine I too am sitting in a bubble bath of joy with a glass in my hands as tall as the Eifle Tower. (* reality disclaimer: no drink, sat at the top of the stairs hiding from my family so I can write in peace) 

This YouTube clip combined with this quote makes me feel like Beyoncé on stage in her element. It’s absolutely crucial that as role models of the human race we all make ourselves number one. Why? Because this in turn allows us to serve others (loved ones and the odd  stranger who may need a helping hand) way better. When I’ve had some ‘me time’ I literally can take on the world. It allows me to gain a better perspective on the state of the universe and at the same time prevents me from starting arguments / world wars over how towels are folded, toilet seats left up and all those other household triggers. This in turn makes me easier and way more accommodating to live with. 

But there is a second bonus: my health is better as a result of indulging in myself. I’m emotionally stable (*kind of) and physically healthier. So how do I make time…I ask others to help me out. Whether that be an evenings child care / grandparent indulgence, or I ask Mr F to take over while I sit on the stairs and get this written. 

I also don’t priorities housework and chores over myself. I sometimes wake up earlier to do yoga, read or listen to a podcast when helping hands aren’t available, sometimes when I’m not too exhausted from work I stay up a little later. At other times I seize opportunities to walk the dog and leave the house… I promise whatever your situation if you prioritise you can always find five minutes, you could even start with three.

So, I have a few questions… 

  • Do you make time for yourself?
  • How do you make the time?
  • What do you do with the time?

I swear I’m 95 years old and I seem to choose a hot bubbly bath, time to read, time to write, to sit and drink a HOT cup of tea, some yoga or a sneaky GnT… so if my worth is time to write then surely the tax is a gin and tonic 🙂 stay happy and make yourself number one. 

Your vibes attract your tribe 

~ Fridgesays ~ 39 Comments

Quote by the goddess Anon. 


Apparently if females retain a friendship for over seven years, they tend to keep it for life. This fact seems to be relevant to my friendship group, in fact I’ve often lost contact or walked away from unhealthy friendships just before the seven year itch. 

Jim Rohn has postulated that we are made up of the five people we socialise with the most…this worries me? Time wise I probably spend more time with work colleagues than my family and friends that I have chosen. Further research confirmed that if you are looking to climb the social ladder then just being with wealthy people can increase your income. 

For any dieters out there, the same goes for weight, health and literally any social trend. Of course there are always exceptions but in the main my friends are all vaguely clones of me – similar occupations, Social status, finance, hobbies and even lifestyle choices like choosing not to smoke. 

My vibe is much like my blog 75% positivity, 10% reality and the rest a combination of Disney vibes and sparkle, which means my tribe is similar (that’s a lot of sparkle)

If you are of a negative disposition or life has just taken you down a dark alley, be cautious about who’s  hand you hold as you may be attracting a tribe member you wouldn’t usually aquaint yourself with, or that will keep you in the dark for longer than you need.

As far as tribes go, we are designed to thrive in small communities and not really meant to link with over 150 people in our life time. Our global identity and social media reality can mean most people can achieve this most days, so don’t be reluctant to take a step out of the crowds and reflect / invest time in your own vibes and those you prefer to spend time with. I think this is why I like to walk the dog and submerge myself in nature regularly.

How’s your tribe? Does it fulfill the vibe you desire and if not what action do you need to take. 

What’s coming will come and we will meet it when it does 

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments


Quote from Hagrid If only it wasn’t raining today or if we had more time…if this hadn’t happened or what if they don’t like me or people think I’m fat… Are all responses that many of us unconsciously  allow to flow from our mouths and into our reality.

Note the words in bold above. Highlighted in seems obvious that these perceptions would hold us back and stop us from reaching out true capacity, the words in bold like translucent chains prevent us from pursuing actions and even within everyday tasks hold us back. Yet most of us use them everyday and don’t even notice the shackles we’ve place upon ourselves. 

So how do we release them? I don’t think we need to. Like following our instinct at times we all need to say no, not participate or perhaps it can be critical a analyse after an event that helps to evaluate and improve future events. 

What I do think is helpful is to be mindful with the words we use, why we chose them and how they make us feel. To be present in what we say and think in the ‘now’

There is much research into the art of gossiping that tells us: 

  •  it’s an awesome stress reliever 
  • it helps us to understand what is and isn’t except able in society
  • it allows us to form bonds with others and isn’t alway negative 

Like everything this universe provides and denies, balance is necessary…if all you do is gossip and every time you meet that person all he/she wants to do is gossip you may need to divert the conversation to a new level, or even remove them from your world all together.

Hagrid makes a hugely valid point that for all our worries before an event – when it comes, we will deal with it as best we can. We have support from loved ones and even in our loneliest of times humans in crisis show huge resilience and incredible levels of ‘coping’ when forced to.

So enjoy the now and when it comes we will adapt, do what’s necessary, be supported by loved one and you knew what? It may just work out better than we hoped for.

To have great poets…

~ Fridgesays ~ 4 Comments

Quote by Walt Whitman

Now not that you aren’t a fab audience but I love to write poetry and keep it to myself. It’s a stress reliever – I’ve also not matured in the poet sense of appreciation and so all my poems HAVE to rhymn, a bit like a seven year old…goat, bloat and float, you get the level of my pen and paper ability?

Maybe in time I will post some, I write it in the most sparkly note book known to pen kind..with sparkly water melon pieces all over it. Amazing 🙂


Poetry allows me to regress in to a magical world (enhanced by sparkly watermelon pieces) and together they also bring me closer to my Grandad who passed away too long ago. He was amazing at so many things, creative, fixing things, making me smile, and he also was a kind soul…he sucked at cooking, and his driving was ‘unique’, he was also horrified when my little cousins named there Guinea Pig after him (hehe)  but after he passed away the family found a book of pencilled poetry / lymrics that he had created. Sadly the pencil had faded but through the pages I found a love and a passion that I wasn’t aware of, a new aspect of my Grandads’ personality. This blog is obviously a public creative outlet for me, unlike my poems which are a little closer to my heart.

Wellbeing and balance are so essential, I hope I never stop writing about them. I completely see why colouring for adults has taken the world by storm and also why so many are drawn to it (drawn hehe), I plan to give it ago later this year (for some reason I think I need to be snuggled by a fire with a hot drink for me to colour in?)

Do you have a creative outlet or have you tried colouring in for a sense of calm / wellbeing? If so I’d love to hear from you.

Before I finish this piece however, I feel it necessary to also agree with the quote above. Walt makes a very important point and since the current UK education system seems to be slashing the arts in our schools I feel its essential that our children are able to experience and share art (in whatever form it resonates with them) and also to say that Drama in particularly was key to my growth, my wellbeing and my education. Seeing audiences relate to my characters has given me a sense of worth that allowed me to flourish, to take on more diverse roles and those skills are ingrained in my soul and make me who I am. So to all the audiences (paid, bribed or in rehearsal) who ever watched and reflected; thank you.

It’s easy to be brave from a distance

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Proverb by Aesop 

This reminds me of the playground as a fight breaks out. Not the actual fight, but the pathetic individuals that are choosing to stand by and watch. Lapping up the atmosphere of negativity, encouraging the fight with chants that will haunt the victim scrabbling on the floor well into their forties.

Am I against fighting? Not at all – Marshall arts has done more for resilience building that any leadership training course I’ve ever been part of, Boxing and MMA needs spectators and is an awesome all round fitness sport…but when questioning the children standing around the edge they aren’t the confident individuals they were during the chant, nor are they brave.

Brave is the kid that stands between them, stupid is the teacher at 4ft11 (over 5ft in my heels) who’s adrenaline places them in between and who’s voice booms a clear instruction to stop, that desperses the crowd…

How often have I left a conversation with a parent or manager and wishes i’d said something else, how many hours have I reinacted conversations in my head about ‘what I should of said’…these to are not brave. 

Brave is standing by what you know is right. I’d be hypocritical to say I always do this – it’s something you have to be aware of, to engage in the moment. Sometimes no matter how transparent we are, curbing our thoughts and preventing them forming into words is just as brave. In 2006 I found a motto to life that has stuck with me (I nearly got the Latin translation tattooed on me; don’t panic Mum it never happened) and that is…

‘If you do something with good intentions, only good can come from it’

Even if you’ve seriously made an error in judgement, with good intentions comes good vibes and ultimately a less severe consequence for everyone involved. 

So while I get back to the playground, be brave and always say what you think is best in the moment, act in the moment and never judge from a distance – because that’s easy and you’re better than that.