treat yourself

He wasn’t hungry he was starving…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote McGinest (Patriots)

When it comes to mindset and achieving goals, there are often phases around being ‘hungry for it’ and when I heard that McGinest described that to be a top athlete it wasn’t enough to hungry, that you had to be starving it resonated with me.

I should probably add that I am in no way any type of athlete…in fact trainers are for complimenting jeans and a range of coloured sweatshirt and there is limited sweating occurring in said sweatshirts. However, I have been blessed to witness greatness around me, to have been a small part of the journey it took for those around me to reach goals and achieve.

They aren’t my goals to share but I can share the moments that have stuck with me. One of my friends is currently planning a trip to the Artic. He can’t sail and he doesn’t have a boat but I’m not sure that’s going to stop him? He does complete ultra marathons and he did thrive a life altering injury in his twenties – so in his 50s of course he’s going to set sail! At the moment he is currently saving for the boat, the sacrifices I witness him make, the painstaking detail of how he even approaches finance is insane and relentless. He’s plan is thorough and he is often sacrificing the now to make room for the dream.

Another friend has run competitively at national standard, she’s still competing after two children and her personal bests are improving all of the time. We were in Milan on a girlie weekend in our twenties and made our way to the hotel, it was an odd time of day, late afternoon and I suggested we chilled and then strolled into town for dinner. Whilst I was ‘chilling’ she was running around Milan….on holiday, in the heat, our plane only touching down an hour or so earlier and she had no idea about the route or area we were staying in. Her goals were never off track (forgive the pun) and she’s always been driven.

Whilst I can’t say I’d want to travel too far from home in death defying circumstances and I’m certainly only interested in Olympic triumph from my sofa, I have found that the people I surround myself by have infiltrated my own life. Goals can be achieved with a little elbow grease, a plan and the will not to be distracted. Society sets us up for many skill sets but it doesn’t often teach us how to achieve our dreams. Perhaps like me your dreams aren’t as large as the ones I’ve touched on, but perhaps you do have a goal that could possible turn into a regret without action. This post isn’t about how to achieve it, it’s just a nudge to remind you that you are your priority and that a step in the right direction may help build momentum to a fulfilled life. That’s worth striving for.

So many kisses, so little time.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Atticus

I’m so excited for 2024, I’m unsure if it’s the even numbers, the hope in my heart or the fact that I’ve been swept up by vision boards and manifesting?

Regular readers will know that I often pick a word to encapsulate my hopes for the year ahead. It helps to build a vision for the year and your personal achievements. For those of you looking to travel, you may like ‘explore’ or ‘clarity’ if you haven’t got a clue what you’d like to achieve! If you are feeling overwhelmed then ‘survive’ is also 100% acceptable, this word is for you and nobody else.

This year my word is bloom.

There are so many aspects of my life that I’d like to blossom in, but this year I will be wrapping it with a bow of romance. Having been in a long term relationship for nearly fifteen years, I don’t actually mean the lovey dovey type. Instead I mean the self love romance, the slowing down and taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures the world offers us. If you think you could do with some romance in your life and the idea appeals then below are some ideas on how you can romance yourself and those around you during 2024.

Buy yourself flowers: a simple idea but I’m not talking about the supermarket type thrown in the basket, instead support small businesses and go to your local florist, take time to pick a selection of the flowers that make you smile. Take them home and display them in a spot that you get to admire them in. You could even extend the love and send some to a friend or loved one for absolutely no reason, which in my opinion is the best reason to receive flowers.

Brunch or coffee date: This requires you to calendar some time to yourself and pre plan some time away from the world. That in itself is a luxury for most, to maximise the time – take yourself to your favourite cafe and enjoy an hour for yourself. Dating yourself is cheaper alone and you can recharge your battery, the benefits also include to having to make small talk although you will guarantee you’ll have to pay the bill.

Bath time: if leaving the house is too complex, simply lock the door to the bathroom and create a mini spa at home. Use the ‘best’ bath salts you have, perhaps a hair mask or face mask and relax. This recharged hour is bound to help you feel sensual and loving, I usually take a hot drink or glass of fizz with me for indulgence. *bath toys are not permitted in sight!

Simple pleasures: often if we take our minds back to the romantic moments of most classic films the ‘aww’ moments are often other people being thoughtful and kind. This year I hope to ‘bloom’ by simply slowing down and enjoying the present moment. Rather than eating breakfast whilst wandering around the house and completing mediocre tasks at the same time as shovelling mouthfuls of cereal in your mouth (full disclosure- this was totally my reality this morning), take two extra minutes to slice some fruit or present your breakfast in a bowl that makes you smile. When having a cup of tea, grab a saucer – add a biscuit of the side ‘just for cuteness’ and pause.

Romance is often about time standing still, whilst most of us don’t have that luxury in our day to day lives, we can often plan to spend two minutes extra on a task that might just make you feel two times better about life.

Romance yourself because you’re worth it and enjoy the ride. If you think of any other ideas then please leave a comment below or reach out to me on social media, as I plan to do all these things in 2024 and more! I may even disappear on a weekend city break at some point and use romancing’ myself as an excuse…

Heal even if they never apologised

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote from Lousy Drawings

As someone who observes humans as part of my job it’s clear that we are a heavily flawed species. We are often unpredictable, hot tempered and forgetful – this combination plus the millions of other emotions makes for a humanity soup that can be both sweet and sour. I should add, it’s also why I adore observing – you never know what may unfold.

If we gave emotions objects I think happiness would be hundreds and thousands, we throw them around like confetti and perhaps every day would look like a wedding photograph. Except, when we hurt each other (mentally or physically) imagine we exchanged bricks. Then we’d struggle to enjoy the confetti because we were holding on to bricks. In this metaphor they would literally weigh you down, in life that is also the case emotionally. Unhealed trauma and upset becomes a burden the victim carries – the words victims in this sentence is crucial; notice is often isn’t the perpetrator that holds on to the brick.

Take this scenario and crazy metaphors as a truth for a second. A friend is about to pick you up and take you out for lunch. You’re excited for these plans and have moved other things to make these lunch plans happen. You’re dressed up ready to go and have filled your pockets with confetti when you hear a knock at the door, you open the door but can’t see your friend, instead there is a brick on your doorstep. On the brick is a label that says ‘Sorry, something came up – speak soon’ …at this point you can decide to leave the brick to one side appreciating that there is more to this story, or you can hold the brick close. Perhaps this friend has done this many times before and you feel hurt and abandoned…you now own a brick. Every time other people mention this friend, or your partner asks how lunch went you pick up this brick.

Surely most of you reading this are now thinking ‘put the brick down and forgive the friend’…the problem is that not all unhealed trauma is a choice to pick up, sometimes the bricks are trust upon us in childhood, addiction breeze blocks form – walls are built up over time and for many readers you may be reflecting that you could open a builders merchants with your metaphorical bricks.

I had a similar brick issue in my twenties. In my experience the friend apologised for the bricks she had given me. However, I was too tired from carrying the bricks, hurt and not ready to hear the apology. I threw a few bricks back but ultimately I still have a good sized lump of concrete with her name on it. Letting it go is sometimes extremely easy to say and unbelievably difficult to do.

Healing from minor or complex trauma is challenging, that’s why so many continue to build walls out of them through life. However, only you can decide what to do with your unhealed issues. Only you can release yourself from the burden. I’m not always sure an apology can solve the issue?

The relationship you have with your self is the most important of all. This week take sometime to prioritise how you deal with events as they unfold, can you look at it through a confetti landscape or are you collecting bricks likes Hadrians Wall. Others can support you to heal but only you can let go of the issue.

Thankful, grateful and blessed

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

This morning I was writing in my gratitude journal, something I’ve done for nearly 10 years and I realised that in this moment I’m am blessed.

This doesn’t mean life is perfect, nor am I any where near fulfilling my dreams but I do feel content.

Contentment can be our enemy. It’s like a warm bed…we just don’t want to leave it and so we roll over and hide our nose under the covers to stay warm. It can mean we strive for less and settle for ‘now’ and exist rather than live.

However, I’ve recently discovered that whilst I can strive for more I can also acknowledge that being content is a privilege. Through being thankful for what I do have, the worries I don’t have and choosing to see gratitude in all of my blessings doesn’t mean I don’t want more, but it’s a wonderful place to be!

A feeling of contentment is like a warm hot water bottle, it feels soothing to the soul. It acknowledges that in this moment I am enough. That my basic needs are met, that some dreams may have already come to fruition and that there is still room for growth.

The more I thought about feeling contentment, the more I realised that the world looks down on it, doesn’t give it the credit it deserves…everyone is striving for happiness, to feel euphoric and whilst these feelings are fabulous, they are often short lived. Take a trip to a theme park. The best ride may be over in minutes (the euphoria super excited part) but I may feel content for the entire day…from the moment I’m getting dressed, preparing what to pack, the journey to the park…all the way home to my bed when I’m exhausted from the thrills, spills and excess sugar the day had in store. Contentment can last days, perhaps even weeks, happiness is a perspective that may come and go.

At the beginning of this blog I wrote about the ‘comfy enemy’ that contentment can bring…but if we can get off of the sofa, if we can strive for more but also go to sleep at night blissful for what we already have…surely that’s a wonderful life?

Set the tone, love you first

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by me. Yes seriously I couldn’t find a quote that I liked and then BOOM I thought, why don’t I just write my own…ta-da!

Okay, today I’m rambling about self care because it’s so important. I schedule ‘me’ in to everyday. I work full time, I do pretty much all the house work, I’m a mum and I’m exhausted BUT everyday I plan time for me.

Why? Am I selfish, arrogant or living in lala land – probably. However, I’m of the opinion that if I don’t take care of my body, soul and mind then who’s going to do all the things I do everyday? Also, I do them better when I’m not stressed and ready to kill. ‘Me time’ gives me time to reflect, love, listen and realign.

How do I do it? Well I have a mini diary that lives in my clutch bag it has any little dude appointments (seriously seven year olds have the best social lives), family events, late night commitments from work anything that we as a family are doing. On a Sunday evening I look at the week ahead and schedule something in that’s time appropriate around the day we have planned. For example tonight I got home early so I committed to a 45min yoga session, writing this post and lighting an incense stick. Yesterday was crazy busy so I planned to paint my nails. The day before I had a cup of tea alone with a new book for company.

I plan ‘me time’ because otherwise I get caught up in the world of everybody else’s needs, plus if I’m having a horrendous day I know I can look forward to something that I enjoy.

On a Sunday evening before I launch in to the week ahead I usually take a long bath with some sort of luxury products, a face mask or hair treatment. I light candles, lock the door…take a glass of something with me for company and breath.

I first did this planned approach after I became a Mum. I’d lost my body, my soul was too tired to care and felt like me was disappearing. Only I like me, I’ve been with me for well…all my life, I wanted to be a Mum, evolve and seize new adventures but not at the cost of becoming someone I didn’t recognise or like very much. I also wanted my son to have the best I could offer. How can anyone fill other peoples cups of needs if their pouring jug is empty? So I fill my cup and keep it topped up daily. I plan events to look forward to that I enjoy, usually theatre trips or travelling and most of them happen either with friends or once little dude is in bed. Working full time I don’t like missing further time from him. But every now and then, he needs a break from me and it makes me a better Mummy for him when I return.

So, if you haven’t used nail polish since 2012, if you use to have a hobby that got lost along the route to that new job…seize it back, be a positive and balanced role model for your little people and those watching. Set the tone and always love you first, you’re worth it and so are those around you.

Try to be like the turtle, at ease in it’s own shell

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Abandoned the quotes this week and gone into the depths of an old proverb.

If you’ve dropped into this little corner of the internet previously you’ll know that ‘The Fridge’ is all about self love. How could we not discuss how awesome these wise words are.

The gorgeous Alicia Keys has been the Spotify choice of go-to music lately; her vibe is cool, calm and many of her tracks are already iconic. Before this becomes the unofficial AK fan page, I need to let you know one more awesome fact about her. She wears very little makeup and chooses to wear her hair in a natural state…did I mention she’s absolutely stunning and a successful singer songwriter? Inspired by her empowerment for everything human and real, I gave up makeup cold turkey about a month ago.

I didn’t tell anyone, I just didn’t slap it on. Nobody asked or questioned my decision, in fact at school a lovely work colleague gave me a thoughtful compliment about how beautiful my skin is (even more grateful to hear that because I also was a paranoid about a spot that appeared over night and looks like it’s squatting and here to stay for sometime) I do plan to wear make up again but not daily and certainly only when I feel like it. I save around twenty minutes in the morning and I use that to get chores done or sometimes I just sit down and day dream with a cup of tea. Bliss.

In a world that is becoming increasingly complex, filtered, altered and at times overly negative about people’s physical appearances i’d like to stay as authentically me as possible.

My shell is not perfect and neither is yours, I don’t always get things right and I often feel anxious about what people might think of me…then I remember this is my shell, my blessed shell – many would give anything to have a sparkly shell of joy like mine. Its fully functioning and any dents remind me of the previous battles I’ve survived or thrived from. My shell is me, it’s where I’m truly at home, it travels with me wherever I go. Just as you can’t criticise a Dolphin for its lack of shell, you are wasting your time analysing your own body with lacks and let down thoughts. You’ve grown in to your shell and at times altered it or made minor improvements *note to self: do yoga this evening

…but ultimately you will always have you. So shine that shell with a few positive comments a day, or at-least stop yourself from vomiting negative thoughts all over it. Allow your body to rest, work and play and provide it with the best care you can give it. Today that might be a small step in just realising that you need to be kinder to yourself.

Happy shell shining.

Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist.

~ Fridgesays ~ 31 Comments

Quote by joy.F

I truly believe that we are all writing our own stories, chapter by chapter life is a series of new beginnings, challenges and climaxes…and of course the odd dark spell and baddy comes along and tries to jeopardise the heroine/ hero from achieving their purpose. I have chosen to live a life of happy ever after, but even with my most positive intentions, I often get thrown off course and have to realign myself.

Many people don’t come close to their purpose, to living aligned or anywhere near the fairy tale they desire. I think I know why, as yesterday I had an epiphany in the supermarket.

I was helping out with our school production and there was a large gap of time between the end of my working day and the show starting, so I decided to take myself to a local supermarket and purchase something for my dinner. It was a sunny and rare hot day in the UK and I really wanted a salad but also to indulge myself. Leaves don’t really cut it?

Solace in a supermarket can actually be rather therapeutic. So I wondered around the isles and placed a few of my favourite things in my basket. I looked down and found that my basket was unreservedly a middle class snobby delight. Who had I become? The content included:

  • Tyrell’s sea salt and black pepper crisps
  • a rainbow themed salad bowl (it was so pretty)
  • Sushi
  • Equinox Kombucha (some sort of fermented goodness in a glass bottle)

I giggled with shame…I went back to my office and enjoyed every bite. I felt good, knew what i’d chosen was the best – felt indulged and also rather healthy (if we excuse the crisps) but still I felt embarrassed. Until I saw this quote this morning. It was then that I realised that in that moment I had eaten and drunk exactly what I desired. As far as I’m aware Cinderella didn’t run off with the sleazy bloke at the bar (although we never really learn much about the prince in that particular story?), Snow white doesn’t marry the first forrest animal to come along and Pocahontas doesn’t hook up with the village idiot. So why shouldn’t my basket be full of what I want? Just like my life.

I’m buying it, I’m writing my own fairy tale… more importantly why am I judging my own basket? Forget social pressure and media corruption – perhaps (yup this is my epiphany) we don’t feel we are worth the fairy tale. Our own judgements block us from how we want to look, feel and in my case – the basket of food I purchase.

So listen up fellow fairy tale lovers, you ARE creating your own story. Sure, it’s likely to never have a Disney logo but just like my shopping basket it can be the best or at least what you want it to be. Don’t judge yourself – you’re totally worth it. Have your own back. If Mr Right hasn’t shown up, if Mrs Right now is lacking in basket delights…shop around. That’s why we have so many shops!

Be the fairy tale, but not Cinderella’s – be your own damsel and rescue yourself. Oh and never settle – fight for your happily ever after and never worry if anyone else agrees with it, they’re busy writing their own fairy tale…or haven’t had the wisdom to read this blog and have sad judgmental baskets of shopping.

Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being you.

~ Fridgesays ~ 30 Comments

Quote by Wayne Dyer.

As we approach the end of the first month of 2018, I felt this quote resonated with every human on the planet who had set a new goal, challenge or New Years resolution. Particularly those who have already hung up their gym pass, quit the diet or has found their soul drowned in another bowl of soup… it happens.

For goal setting targets I’ve written several posts Click here to read why it pays to be stubborn but at perhaps a time that you have ‘failed’ ‘given up’ or realised that dry January isn’t an excuse to drink gin for a month (*I was sad when I heard this too) I want to remind you that you are awesome just the way you are. Sounds sickly I know, but it’s true. You are good at being you. I promise that if you have kids they love our imperfections and all; although I wouldn’t directly ask them. This week I curled my hair and my son (four years old) told me I looked like Rapunzel. As a Disney fan I was blown away – until he corrected me that it was the witch he was thinking of.

I don’t want to bring my children up in a world where perfection is ‘plastic fantastic’ where desirable looks can only be accomplished by a thousand filters and the social media acceptance of an abundance of hearts, likes and comments. I don’t want humans to become robotic and only come in ‘one size fits all’, our imperfections create our beauty.

We all have talents that vary from scientist geniuses, medicinal wizards and international superstars… I make a fantastic roast, can occupy a toddler in a car for multiple hours and give good hugs (not all at the same time), I make a good friend, kind teacher and feel accomplished most days.

As we jump into February I urge you to take five minutes, pour a coffee and write a list of everything you like about yourself. I advise you to be kind to yourself; treat yourself to those new jeans, the shoes or that ‘thing’ that floats your boat. If I was a doctor I would prescribe you with a luxury treatment, a trip to the cinema, or a date night that’s overdue… if you have a new born then I’m adding a hot drink to that prescription. Allow February to be the month you made time for self love, for gratitude for all you do have. I promise it’s more than most.

You’re the best and being you. You’re already winning in 2018, you don’t need to change a thing.

You’re worth it

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 Quote from L’Oreal I guess hehe, well slogan? It’s a pretty good slogan to have for yourself – if it’s good enough for Jennifer Aniston, it’s good enough for me.

Okay, so we all have things that we love and we know are naughty to consume, my list would probably mainly be made up of crisps and alcohol. I’ve always been a savoury girl and if there is a bowl of crisps at a BBQ or party it literally calls my name….I cannot leave them alone and I will even eat the crumbs at the bottom until the bowl is crisp free.

I grew up with classic lunch boxes that contained them everyday (it was the 80’s and we didn’t know better) and I ate them frequently until about 2006 when I read an article that said eating a bag of crisps a day was the equivalent to drinking 5 litres of vegetable oil a year…gross! I then had to look at my unhealthy approach to those little savoury delights and I quit – cold turkey, like a drug addict. I didn’t have them in the house until my little boy came along and even now I deliberately buy crisps I’m not a fan of (mainly puffy cheese creations) to avoid the naughtiness, I still adore them and still prey on them at gatherings. I’m now at the point where I buy a ‘treat bag’ every few months, but that’s ok with me.

Chocolate: I don’t love it but I also believe people who don’t like it are not to be trusted.

Like I said before, I’m a savoury girl so I’ll always pick a starter with a meal in a restaurant rather than a dessert but I’m also human and often get a craving for chocolate after my evening meal. (We don’t have desserts at home unless it’s Christmas or some kind of scoffing occasion) and I have recently been inspired by Matilda from the magical talents of Roald Dahl.

There is a section of the book / scene in the play where Miss Honey talks about her mothers special chocolates and how she had ‘just one’ every evening as a treat. Now, if you think you are a scoff the box kinda chick this probably will give you diabetes BUT at the end of term a pupil in year 10 bought me a huge and very generous box of posh choccies. Since I received them I’ve been having JUST ONE most evenings after dinner (they are still going) usually with a cup of tea before bed (I’m so gangsta) and I love it!


It’s usually the only sweet thing I have in the day (except for fruit) and I love the indulgence, it hits my need for some thing sweet and probably most importantly – it makes me feel special. I can’t describe the anguish I felt when Mr Fridge asked for one of my lovely choccies…trying to not be too mean I explained that they weren’t for sharing and that he should never ask again…but I’m not completely heartless, so I gave him one. I think he saw my heart break slightly as he hasn’t asked again since 🙂

So what it all this talk of naughty food about…I guess it’s about me realising that sometimes (crisps) I just have to say no. But that if I do say yes, know they are going to be the poshest crisps I can get my vegetable oil hands on! We don’t always need to indulge, but when we do – go special, you deserve it and also, to keep it special make sure ‘treats’ are things to look forward to.