self love

My alone time is for everyone’s safety

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote on a tote bag of a lady in the street

I saw this tote bag quote, laughed and then agreed on a deep metaphysical level…we all need time alone.

As an only child I’m an expert at being by myself. I’ll self indulge in all of the things I like to do and have a lovely time, but I prefer it if others are close at hand. For example, I like taking myself off to the bathroom for a candle lit bath, read and hair mask…but I like to hear the family downstairs. My Aunt, also an only child is a whole new level of alone and she can do weeks in her own company…that would make me climb the walls.

Introverts and extroverts both need time alone and time with others, both energise us, it’s just as individuals we all have specific amounts of time we require in each.

If I’m in a city, meeting friends and having various experiences I find the place exhilarating but I’m also drained for days afterwards. A huge advantage of getting older is being able to fine tune your needs and know what you’ll need after an event. If I’ve been to a Wedding or a huge social occasion – alone time after is for everyone safety. It will take my body days to recover and I’m likely to be grouchy and quick tempered if I do have to be in company, made worse if the occasion means I haven’t had time to sleep in my own bed and ground myself.

As we step into a new week, step back and take a look at your schedule, is there anywhere you need to make some time to recharge, be it alone or with others? Sometimes, I find I need to plan things to do with others to look forward to and to get through monotonous days, other times it’s the opposite and I’ll need to cancel events so I can stay home and top up my sanity by not interacting with a human.

How do you help enrich your energy and do you have any tips for sustaining your energy for longer?

The tongue weighs nearly nothing but few people can hold it

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote anon

For readers that know me personally this might be a ‘pot /kettle’ kind of quote. I often lack the filter between my brain and my thoughts and with close people I can often over share. However, I was drawn to this quote for another reason.

Recently, I learnt a lesson that has since altered my perspective of human interaction. I was in a situation where I felt that someone needed to apologise for their behaviour, in general this human is frequently inconsiderate and rude. The interaction was via text (not someone close to me) and I sent the message in the politest tone I could. What came back to me several hours later was a message with no apology and a ramble of excuses, upon reading the text it was also rude and it lit a flame of fury inside of me. Until I realised that any interaction I’ve had with this human has been vile, why would this situation be any different? Why would a person who is inconsiderate be considerate in response?

The lesson is just this, we often expect others to handle situations the way we might, we push our values and societal expectations on others and then…we are shocked when people don’t meet our baseline. A person at a bus stop pushing in front of others, people that litter, people who don’t hold doors for others, narcissists being selfish…the list goes on. The reality that I realised was that perhaps the insane person in this scenario was me. I wouldn’t expect a person who speaks another language to understand English with no support. I wouldn’t expect a toddler to be articulate with their needs and desires. Why would I expect someone who is inconsiderate to act with consideration?

Learning this lesson made me feel instantly relieved. Often interactions with others don’t work out well and that’s ok, this serves two purposes 1) These aren’t your people – keep walking. 2) Interactions are often more about the other persons state of being than you. As such, don’t take it personally.

Holding your tongue isn’t always productive, it can quickly lead to storing negative energy in your body and that often leads to poor health, that said if you can let the negative interaction go whilst holding your tongue, walking away and feeling better – sometimes silence can be the best solution.

So many kisses, so little time.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Atticus

I’m so excited for 2024, I’m unsure if it’s the even numbers, the hope in my heart or the fact that I’ve been swept up by vision boards and manifesting?

Regular readers will know that I often pick a word to encapsulate my hopes for the year ahead. It helps to build a vision for the year and your personal achievements. For those of you looking to travel, you may like ‘explore’ or ‘clarity’ if you haven’t got a clue what you’d like to achieve! If you are feeling overwhelmed then ‘survive’ is also 100% acceptable, this word is for you and nobody else.

This year my word is bloom.

There are so many aspects of my life that I’d like to blossom in, but this year I will be wrapping it with a bow of romance. Having been in a long term relationship for nearly fifteen years, I don’t actually mean the lovey dovey type. Instead I mean the self love romance, the slowing down and taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures the world offers us. If you think you could do with some romance in your life and the idea appeals then below are some ideas on how you can romance yourself and those around you during 2024.

Buy yourself flowers: a simple idea but I’m not talking about the supermarket type thrown in the basket, instead support small businesses and go to your local florist, take time to pick a selection of the flowers that make you smile. Take them home and display them in a spot that you get to admire them in. You could even extend the love and send some to a friend or loved one for absolutely no reason, which in my opinion is the best reason to receive flowers.

Brunch or coffee date: This requires you to calendar some time to yourself and pre plan some time away from the world. That in itself is a luxury for most, to maximise the time – take yourself to your favourite cafe and enjoy an hour for yourself. Dating yourself is cheaper alone and you can recharge your battery, the benefits also include to having to make small talk although you will guarantee you’ll have to pay the bill.

Bath time: if leaving the house is too complex, simply lock the door to the bathroom and create a mini spa at home. Use the ‘best’ bath salts you have, perhaps a hair mask or face mask and relax. This recharged hour is bound to help you feel sensual and loving, I usually take a hot drink or glass of fizz with me for indulgence. *bath toys are not permitted in sight!

Simple pleasures: often if we take our minds back to the romantic moments of most classic films the ‘aww’ moments are often other people being thoughtful and kind. This year I hope to ‘bloom’ by simply slowing down and enjoying the present moment. Rather than eating breakfast whilst wandering around the house and completing mediocre tasks at the same time as shovelling mouthfuls of cereal in your mouth (full disclosure- this was totally my reality this morning), take two extra minutes to slice some fruit or present your breakfast in a bowl that makes you smile. When having a cup of tea, grab a saucer – add a biscuit of the side ‘just for cuteness’ and pause.

Romance is often about time standing still, whilst most of us don’t have that luxury in our day to day lives, we can often plan to spend two minutes extra on a task that might just make you feel two times better about life.

Romance yourself because you’re worth it and enjoy the ride. If you think of any other ideas then please leave a comment below or reach out to me on social media, as I plan to do all these things in 2024 and more! I may even disappear on a weekend city break at some point and use romancing’ myself as an excuse…

Comin’ with the bad bitch magic

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Full quote from Queen Herby lyrics are “Comin’ with the bad bitch magic, and they can’t stand it, when I put these hoes in a panic.”

December can often feel suffocating, the final weeks of school term devoured me with all its tinsel and emotional demands. However I have made it and can now see two weeks of work free life upon me, except adult life never stops – the Christmas prep has barely begun and the recent full moon has resulted in a broken kitchen tap, dead car battery and narrowly escaping a stag charging in my direction (a little closer than I’d of liked, side note; it was seriously awesome once I’d survived, placed my heart back inside my chest cavity and processed the event)…that said, our Christmas tree is looking extra glorious this year with a new fairy and seven hundred extra lights, despite our dogs hypocritical and despairing looks of judgement as we bought in a seven foot tree and don’t allow her to bring her sticks in the house…yes tiny phone people: December is a lot!

Therefore and because I refuse to be overwhelmed, I go to my tool kit of magic and joy to help me raise my vibration…I refuse to be taken down by my ever growing to do lists and cold winter evenings that seem to consume time and spit me out into my pjs earlier and earlier. So what’s a ‘bad bitch to do’ …below are some of my sparkliest ideas from my magical toolkit.

Self care matters: Obviously it always matters but if you are missing the warmer days of life then put the Christmas chocolate box down for a minute and listen up! *you can totally return to the chocolate box once you’ve finished reading

Up your vitamins…some of my favs include vitamin D (sun in a bottle), lions mane, echinacea and vitamin C

Listen and move to feel good music, podcasts, movies and pivot when things feel negative…we’ve got no time for a documentary on wars and tragedies right now…this diet of high energy creative vibes will feed your soul

Soup – honestly, it’s the best winter warmer and I think it makes my soul happier, I can’t stop making it?

Pinterest – I know what you’re thinking, this social app from 2009 is vintage BUT collating (for free!) beautiful pin boards of imagery that lights your fire is far more beneficial than watching thirty second clips of adults dancing and cats falling off high cupboards. I’m using the app to set intentions for 2023, to gather recipes (okay, mainly soup), to discover ideas of things I might make and to collate a wardrobe that sparks joy…oh, that reminds me

Wear all the colours of the rainbow – I used my clothes rail like a dressing up box. The lower I feel, the more I need a sparkly tiara, sparkly boots, sparkly cardigans – ALL the SPARKLES! However, you may be less glitter and more practical, whatever your vibe make sure you walk out of the front door feeling fabulous. You will likely inspire others, pick up compliments like acorns on an oak tree and feel beautiful.

Journal – grab a note book and write as if you’re Dickens, don’t worry if what you’re writing down is gibberish, negative or the same day after day, the main thing is you are allowing those thoughts to have there moment of glory, then you’re turning the page and moving on

Gratitude lists – I adore a list full of moments of joy, dig deep and you’ll be surprised at what you have to be grateful for even in the darkest corners of life

What’s in your sparkly tool box of joy, that raises your vibration and helps you through the tougher moments of life? Let me know in the comments below

Karma isn’t a bitch, it’s a mirror

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Wow! You know when you are a collector of something and you have to have it…that’s how I felt about this quote.

I’ve always believed in karma. At times in my life I’ve relied on it being served to others, I’ve also had my fare share of stubbed toes in return for minor errors on my part.

However, I’m also of the belief that what you give out you get back and that the universe has your back. I also believe that good vibes create more good vibes, so the idea that each of us had our own hand held mirror of karma makes total sense. Perhaps next time you use the phrase ‘karma is a bitch’ be mindful that you are just calling that person a female dog.

Reflections can sometimes be hard to look at.We don’t always like what we see, or sometimes our own reflection doesn’t relate to how we thought we looked, the main reason I take so many dresses back to the store…4ft11 me can’t always rock a dress the way it looked in the brochure, on a taller friend, or even how I thought it might look from the hanger.

As humans we are quick to judge others, but often not as fast at owning our personal issues, the mistakes we make, the things we might do differently…it’s much easier to insult others than recognise issues within ourselves and set to work to fix them. If karma is a mirror I recommend you speak kindly to her, treat the mirror well and make her sparkle, after all who doesn’t want a life full of clarity and kindness?

Keep it simple

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by me.

I am privileged. This morning is Sunday and it’s nearly 10am…I’m still in bed. Tea was bought to me and the Mr opened the curtains so the sun shone through. Delicious

I looked out at the bright blue clouds, a rare sight in January. The plants in my room are currently doing a little hip hop dance as the sun kisses them each…it’s been a long pandemic winter so far. This moment to breath is an absolute blessing. I know it won’t stay and I know it has to leave, we have to leave…there are children to be fed, house work to be done… but in this moment I know i’m the luckiest girl in the world and I know another moment as precious as this will come my way.

Whilst waking slowly like a hedgehog coming out of hibernation and twitching it’s nose, I felt hungry… I snuck downstairs and grabbed a bowl of cereal for ease, tossed in some frozen berries and drizzled over some coconut milk. I then diverted back to bed, the satisfaction of the crunch whilst the sun continued to dazzle on my face made me smile.

Grab the small moments of life that bring you joy and don’t be scared to bathe in them. I often find it’s the moments of simplicity that unlock the most magic. The world won’t stop if I finish my tea here, but I will have much more energy to meet the day with and I’ll be a better me for everyone I communicate with.

Small moments of simplicity bring less clutter (something I still need to work on), they are often more cost efficient and I find involve mother nature’s hand; a walk, the call of the tide, a passing cloud or the smell of a rose…

As I was writing this post my Mum called, thrilled. My Great Aunt turned 90 today and was a florist by trade, she’s been in lockdown since March 2020. My Mum sent her some flowers and a card, they were delivered this morning at 9am. My Aunt called to say how happy they had made her, the smell literally leaping out of the box as she opened them, each flower well packed and ready to sing from her dinning-room table. Whilst sending flowers is perhaps a little more expensive, I can’t help but feel for the impact they had they were mere pennies. Passing on joy, gratitude and simplify is also the gift that keeps on giving – plus my Aunt has pleasure for them, my Mum as the giver and I get a bonus burst of gratitude hearing how happy they both are.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, take a moment to look around and find something that makes you smile. You’ll probably find it’s small and simple, yet lights your world like a huge firework display. You deserve that.

Beauty is in the mind and not in the mirror

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote from me! @fridgesays

I feel like every bathroom facility across the globe that has basins with mirrors above should have this around it. As I typed the quote out I internally thought, I know that but I’m not sure I always implement it.

For this reason, today’s post is a reminder that you are unique. You are beautiful. You have features that are superior to others and flaws that make you an individual. When we look at images from silicone valley or we forget that people in the media’s eye often use more filters that Lego have made plastic blocks, be kind to yourself and how you talk to yourself.

Sometimes I feel good in certain outfits at other times they feel like they don’t reflect how I feel and can have the opposite effect.

I can purchase beauty products, buy new clothes, exercise, sleep, eat well and at the end of the day look in the mirror and feel mortified by what I see reflected back. When you catch yourself giving yourself a hard time, you need to become your own fairy god mother – we all should go to the ball. If a girl with pumpkins and rats can do it, I’m sure we all can. I’m a woman with a goldfish, a gecko, a dog, two African snails and a tank of stick insects.

Here’s my godmother recipe:

First, stare in the mirror and laugh at how privileged you are to have a mirror.

Next, step back slightly and decide whether the lighting is doing you any favours or is it more like a light box game from the 1980’s, remember not all light is flattering.

Step three: Like a good friend, reason with yourself. How’s the day gone? Does the frizzy hair represent the rainy school run, are the bags under your eyes due to night feeds and are the spots hormonal? if so..remind yourself that you succeeded to collect your child from school, feed your child and that hormones are a sign of health.

Challenge time, rather than focus on the spots, frizzy hair and bags under the eyes. Look in the mirror and pick THREE features you love. Perhaps it’s your laughter lines that remind you of good times, or your lips, maybe you like your hair up, down or are just glad you found time to wash it.

Lastly, look at your features and think about your loved ones. Do you have the same eyes as your Dad, the curve of your nose is the same as your daughters, how blessed we are to have reminders so near to us…unless your family are douche bags in which case casually miss this step.

Lastly and totally nonnegotiable…create time for some self care. A hot bath child free, a hair wrap or time to do your nails…because like this post stated at the beginning, your beautifully perfect just the way you are and deserve to be treated so.

Beauty is an attitude

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Quote by Estée Lauder

Boom! This quote is everything. For those of you born with a disadvantaged face, that thinks they need to be something that they aren’t, that believes beauty is physical – it’s a good day. You need two things to be beautiful and neither are related to HOW you look.

I hate to double quote but Roald Dahl gives us an insight into beauty with gem from the classic children’s book The Twits:

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

You see kind thoughts create our reality and as I’ve discussed in so many of my posts, when you come from a place of good basic maths tells us that good things can be the only outcome, so rule one is think good thoughts and don’t forget this means thinking kindly internally about yourself and your capabilities.

So now the thoughts are flowing in a state of positivity, it’s time to put the coat of attitude on. Many jump for the obvious option – arrogance, but that often becomes ugly quickly and comes from your ego. That said, it can be breathtakingly beautiful (its usually the images you see on the front of magazines). I would encourage you to select my personal favourite; the transparent sparkly rain Mack. Basically how this item works is you are you – it’s transparent so everyone can see you. The sparkles are the bits you want to show off, extend those eyelashes with your favourite mascara, wear a top that makes you feel fabulous, style your hair in a way that makes you magical; that’s your sparkle. Then own that Mack, write your name in it. Invest in it and of course look after it. Hold your head high and I promise you will feel beautiful. This in turn will magnetise you to lovely people, wonderful experiences and genuine compliments. Beauty is an attitude, not a physical state.

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