The grass is greener when you water it.

Quote by Neil Barringham

At the end of February we often get a few warm days, enough to shed a layer or two when you go out, enough so you need to find your sunglasses that you abandoned in September in a draw somewhere between the front door and the backdoor (or they could be in the car?) and enough for the Mr to say to me yesterday “I’m going to need to cut the grass again soon”

Grass doesn’t need much to thrive. However in the cold, dark and wet winters of the UK it barely grows at all, we rarely go out there and the grass is stagnant.

In life we often need to make choices every now and then, where do we put our time, love and sunlight? We look at other peoples lawns and often admire them not fully understanding the complexities of what they might be ‘growing’ through, we don’t see the moss patches, or the bald patches covered up by plant pots. A quick glimpse and it’s easy to wrongly see a lawn or someone else’s life in the wrong light.

Sometimes we can love our own lawn but feel the need to buy a new one just because… much like lawn maintenance, humans aren’t as simple as we believe.

Instead we need to mow our own lawns, perhaps put some extra attention of the bits that have been scorched by the sun, add new seeds, water and tend. We have a 160ft garden and it would take an awful lot of time to edge it. However, what we give our time and love to is what will thrive. Our health, relationships and careers all need time, love and attention too. The grass may be greener elsewhere but that’s not your concern. Water your own grass and watch it grow, add sunlight and see it thrive. Most importantly ignore the lawn and spend time with people you love. Mother Nature will sort it out, it’s a lawn – get a life and make that thrive.

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Beauty is an attitude

Quote by Estée Lauder

Boom! This quote is everything. For those of you born with a disadvantaged face, that thinks they need to be something that they aren’t, that believes beauty is physical – it’s a good day. You need two things to be beautiful and neither are related to HOW you look.

I hate to double quote but Roald Dahl gives us an insight into beauty with gem from the classic children’s book The Twits:

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

You see kind thoughts create our reality and as I’ve discussed in so many of my posts, when you come from a place of good basic maths tells us that good things can be the only outcome, so rule one is think good thoughts and don’t forget this means thinking kindly internally about yourself and your capabilities.

So now the thoughts are flowing in a state of positivity, it’s time to put the coat of attitude on. Many jump for the obvious option – arrogance, but that often becomes ugly quickly and comes from your ego. That said, it can be breathtakingly beautiful (its usually the images you see on the front of magazines). I would encourage you to select my personal favourite; the transparent sparkly rain Mack. Basically how this item works is you are you – it’s transparent so everyone can see you. The sparkles are the bits you want to show off, extend those eyelashes with your favourite mascara, wear a top that makes you feel fabulous, style your hair in a way that makes you magical; that’s your sparkle. Then own that Mack, write your name in it. Invest in it and of course look after it. Hold your head high and I promise you will feel beautiful. This in turn will magnetise you to lovely people, wonderful experiences and genuine compliments. Beauty is an attitude, not a physical state.

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Start your day with a dance party

Quote Anon wearing sparkly shoes

I have a morning routine that I do before my day begins, you can read about it here. If you do nothing for yourself ever again, I suggest you get one too. It makes my day start from a place of joy and if I didn’t have it in my life it would be like not having lungs.

After this the days demands capture me, throw me into a frenzy and at times I have to regain control with a mini mindful exercise. I think the ‘your day’ in this quote is really important, we can blame others when they interrupt our flow, make excuses but really it’s how we deal with life’s negatives and how long we hold on to them that guides our lives.

Emotions are complex, the extremes are often lifted for me with a dance to a song that makes me smile. I crank it up and dance like I’m on stage in a huge concert hall. The boys run for cover – this mummy can’t sing BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP ME. I find night club classics from my clubbing days are a great way to begin, then I move on to anthems. The concert in my bedroom, lounge or kitchen goes on until I’m ready to take on the world…which reminds me The Guardians of the Galaxy sounds tracks are also amazing for mood shifting.

Sometimes I listen through headphones for a personal party effect but mainly I like to contaminate the house with my moves and boom the music as loud as it can go. I’ve also been known to find a musical soundtrack on Spotify and work my way through the numbers…always with random lines from various characters delivered in perfect time. My son sometimes comes in for a strut, but mainly I’m a solo act.

Why? Well I do have a drama degree, but I actually think I dance because physically moving helps those endorphins to buzz around, lifts the soul, its free and guess what – it works.

If you have never danced in the mirror, thrown yourself down the stairs like a Hollywood diva in the last few weeks then I have one piece of advice. Do it. Dancing isn’t for those that can, Shakira was right – the hips don’t lie. Kelis finds milk shades and boys in her yard, Beyoncé runs the world and Tina Turner is simply the best and looking great on each and every roll down the river. So what are you waiting for? Solo dance through the week and watch the changes that happen to your mood, body and vibration.

I got my own back 

Quote from one of my favourite females, Maya Angelou

I’m an only child. There are myths that I was lonely, isolated and spoilt as a child because of just this ‘fact’. However, I was never lonely and was always allowed a friend for tea, or would take part in extra curricular activities in whatever my flavour of the month was (I’ve always lacked commitment). My parents lives revolved around me and I was spoilt with time and opportunities, when it came to material objects I was like every other child and had to wait until Christmas or birthdays, that said I don’t remember going without.

I loved being ‘just me’ and am truly grateful to my parents and family for all the wonderful memories we grew together and don’t panic, I was socialised and therefore can share should the occasion arise.

One of the things however that people don’t associate with only children is that I’ve got my own back. It’s an awesome skill that has given me resilience. I’m not saying siblings can’t have their own backs to; after all it’s your back to do what you like with it, right? That said I know many siblings whose relationships have bought hostility and also others with unity, again they can have their own backs or not. 

However for me personally growing without siblings has meant I have had to be my own competition, I set the goals and with heinsight I’m my own little team. I’ve also expanded my family with a few close friends who I know I can count on. I’ve always had just one very close friend and then people that surround that relationship. If I’m honest I’m very much a ‘people’s person’ who doesn’t really like humanity. As I have grown older I’ve definitely become picky about who is on ‘team fridge’ and many a human has had the fridge door shut in their face. Sometimes it’s warmer in the fridge without negative vibes.

Recently my son (only child on earth) was playing in our local park and his little friend was playing with some other children, the boy announced that my son couldn’t play with him. My heart ached for him. However, my robust little dude continued to play happily by himself and whilst I was watching and dealing with my own emotions, it was Mr F that pointed out that our little dude wasn’t bothered. Not convinced I obviously had a chat with him on the way home and I realised that he really wasn’t bothered, in fact he said “it’s okay Mummy, if ****** doesn’t want to play then he doesn’t have to.” That’s when I realised that my awesome little dude had his own back. Kids are harsh and our little dude is no more innocent or lovely that any other – humans are cruel, but being your own number one has got to be of benefit.

You are the only person that has experienced everything you have, been with you 24/7 – for better or worse. This is why self love is essential, it gives you a worth that will radiate to others, but if for any reason it doesn’t radiate – self love means it doesn’t matter what others think, you’ve got your own back.

Maya Angelou was such a wise human (there are a few) and her quotes are my all time favourites. I think the reason I like them so much is they remind me of things I’ve learnt but sometimes need reminding of, we all need that right?

If life has drained your self love to an all time low, why not pop this simple quote on your bathroom mirror, or somewhere near the front door. Its a timely reminder that you are awesome, just the way you are. It may also help your self love to increase – people often think this is egotistical or selfish, but actually by putting yourself first (at times) means you’re often a better version of yourself for loved ones around you. So this week make sure you are no.1 and you’ve got your back, it might just be the making of you.