Past

Sometimes you’ll never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by D Seuss

Moments come and moments go. Sometimes frightfully as our basal ganglia and cerebellum kick in to action and we drive our cars on a familiar journeys, arrive at a destination and have little memory of how we got there?

Other moments stay in our core and it’s these id like to take a moment to think about. You may have seen online or even read my blog on glimmer moments (Click here to read) but I had a wonderful core moment when making a bolognaise for dinner that I’d like to share.

I was listening to a podcast and making dinner, thinking about the next steps of turning the bolognaise in front of me into a lasagne. I suddenly remembered that earlier that morning I’d made a loaf of sourdough. I cut off the edge (absolutely the best part of a fresh loaf in my humble opinion) and dipped it into the bolognaise. It’s important that I share that I’m not a ‘picker’ when I cook so this felt indulgent and not something I’d usually think to do. As I squeezed the crusted edge between my fingers and carefully wiped around the edge of the pan I suddenly remembered my Mum and I doing the exact same thing when I was a child!

My hippocampus lit up like a Christmas tree. I felt absolute joy and comfort as my long term memories, these deep core memories came to the forefront. I could see myself by the side of my Mum fighting for ‘the best bit’ like school children. Whispering so that my Dad didn’t know what we were up to, which is hilarious in retrospect as he wouldn’t be bothered and doesn’t eat bolognaise, trying not to burn our fingers and usually always grabbing another piece of bread to share.

Childhood is often made of these wholesome moments. Whether it’s the smell of crayons or freshly cut grass, the taste of a particular sweet treat or a song on the radio that takes you back to the ‘live concert’ you gave to millions of invisible fans in your childhood living room as you belt out Whitney Houston’s ‘Wanna Dance with somebody’ from the bottom of the earths core to the tip of your tongue. I realised that they rarely cost anything, but a little time, a lot of laughter and in my case, an extra slice of bread and a huge bowl of bubbling bolognaise.

If noticing moments of joy in everyday life are referred to as ‘glimmer moments’ then perhaps connecting with core moments of joy from your past should be refered to as sequins. Large, round sparkly core memories sewn together to make your individual life’s tapestry. Whether it’s photographs from an album, mini recordings on your phone, old journals or causally making a bolognaise on a Saturday evening, I hope your future holds more sequins to come and your past is a glittering reflection of core joy, keep sparking.

My sequin moment

Yesterday is heavy. Put it down

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Sometimes as adults we need permission for things. My manager once sent out an email, my favourite email ever sent, it said:

“Nobody is permitted to check, send or read emails this weekend – those that do will be spoken to”

I don’t often check emails at home for my own well-being but many do. When I returned to work after the ‘great Email weekend’ my Monday started off great, as my inbox was empty… the gift that kept on giving.

As you read this, I’d like you to know I’m directly talking to you. I’m looking you in the eyes and politely whispering, put the past down.

Yesterday may of been heavy, last week may of been hard, last month might of been a train wreck and last year I know was hard. Put it down. You don’t need to carry it, it’s gone.

Remember that awful time you let down someone you love down, well home truth – if you are carrying the past then the weight will mean your hands aren’t free to hold up the now. Ultimately, you still aren’t given everyone your best, even those that you love, letting it go is the fastest way to happiness and a healthy wellbeing.

I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty, I’m telling you because sometimes we need to have permission to feel better. It’s often noted that the dying don’t pass until a certain occasion happens, or a person they cherish gives permission and tells them it’s okay to let go.

I hope your hands are lighter today, I hope your future is bright. I hope you seize each day, each moment without the shadow of what’s gone before.

Today is a new day, that is a blessing in itself.

Don’t look back…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 A quote from Marcia Wallace

I should probably add that this is a book title; I’ve never read it but would love a review below if you have.

As a teacher I often reflect. Was the lesson objective met? How could I adapt that task? Reflection also pops it’s head up in assessment and school reports and I obviously always use the past to form my opinion.

As a woman I look back on past relationships (and wonder what was I thinking?), compare them with close friends and share our tales of arguments and let downs.

As a mother I look at J, secretly compare him to every small goblin we have ever met and rationalise in my brain his strengths, weaknesses and everything inbetween. Completing this task with activities to fill the gaps and enhance his talents.

However, in my brain, the past is irrelevant – I’m moving forward. ‘I’m not going that way’ again, so why credit it with time? After all, we have all learnt that time is such a precious commodity.

I’d be pure Pinocchio if I suggested I don’t think about, analyse and cogitate about the past…I believe we are all on a journey (some more exciting than others) and sometimes we get lost or stay too long in the wrong company, make the wrong choices or simply forget the map. From this, I believe my journey is about being ‘better’ not perfect or maybe ever reaching the goal I’m aiming for – but if I’m aiming,  doing it better. Being a better teacher, a better role model, a better partner, friend and mummy.

I’m not sure I therefore can uphold Marcia’s quote or do it justice. However, I do think it’s a fab quote that is best served when we get caught up in the loop holes of the past or fester for too long in a negative environment. For this, it’s one of my favourites for motivating us to look at the future.

Living for the moment isn’t something I find naturally easy, I’m a teacher – a bell goes off every hour to indicate my next task, class change over or when its break and I can pee. My holidays are routined and training is diarised a year in advance. However, aren’t those spontaneous nights of fun with friends or that unplanned get together with family always the best?

So, despite the glaring calendar all set up and ready for the new academic year – I declare this summer unplanned, moving forward and seizing new opportunities. Who knows I might even draft up a 5 year plan (in pink pen and with colour coded stickers) for my career and home life?

As someone that has little knowledge on 5 years plans, share below your tips for moving things along, I’d really appreciate it.