As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they can breathe fire 

Quote by Jessica Kirkland.

Sometimes I write a post in my sleep and wake up with an urge to get it typed up. This is one of those posts as this quote spoke to my soul.

I am a human, a member of a race that I’m mostly ashamed of. I choose not to be a feminist because categories breed further division and I don’t wish to be equal due to my vagina disability. I was born like it, apparently just under half the worlds population similarly suffer from it. It doesn’t hold me back and I do believe that it shouldn’t nor should it let anyone else, although I’m not naive to know that this is not the case for all women. I’m raising a son to respect humans, animals and the world around him – the world is crying out for loving. Gender is mostly irrelevant – if he wants to paint his nails, he can. I couldn’t give a crap about blue or pink toys and I’m happy to be the bread winner in my tribe, I’ve breast fed in public and I don’t need a trophy for this, however before I get truly ‘ranty’ this isn’t what I liked to discuss, ranting is too easy and negative.

For regular Fridge readers you’ll know that my first step into motherhood began with the birth of a baby girl. She was too precious for this earth and quickly fled for greater things. However, before she left we had some precious time together and she branded me a ‘Mummy’. I loved it and always will.

Before I knew I was pregnant, I went for a job at an all girls school. I got the job, then found out I was pregnant and had an awkward email to write which when something along the lines of ‘I’d love the job…by the way’ and I’ve been at the same school since 2009.

Part of my title is ‘Nurture Teacher'(seriously cool title) and it translates as many things but also allows me to help heal a lost teenage soul, who is going through a traumatic time or has been damaged due to life delivering them a hard hand earlier in life. This quote resonates with my 9-5 life. I see potential and sparkle in everyone of my girls. They are each unique and whether they are dealing with mental health issues, stuck in the system of being a looked after child or simply grieving for a loved one, we ride together through the pressures of academic attainment and the triumphant and tragic events that daily life brings.

It’s a privilege that they let me in when many doors to their very beings are closed. Like all members of staff, I have an ID tag and it states my name, job title and amongst it the word ‘Teacher’. I wear it with pride (and because Health and Safety dictate I have to) and ive realised that my classes often misunderstands the concept of a teacher – someone who will guide or do things for them, tell them or help them when times are tough. They miss the word ‘each’ hidden in the word, probably consumed by the towering T in front. To me, it means each one matters and each one has something to teach me about this crazy world. You see I would never have understood how rejection can consume, mental health can debilitate families and disorders that involve food – be it too little or too much can poison families to collapse…

But my girls can breathe fire. I remind them to turn each day around and I teach them all the things I will never have the honour of being able to teach my own daughter. To hold their heads high, to kick ass in academic challenges; especially GCSE’s which will open new doors for them beyond my classroom and watchful eye.

My girls can do anything they wish to dream, go anywhere they chose to fly – they are fierce but not because society has labelled them ‘female’, not because we are still battling for equality but because my 16 years old girls have already been through tragic events, overcome them and are better for it, otherwise whats the point if you don’t learn from the journey. The fire in them burns deep and I truly believe in all of them, each and everyone.

Sadly, some will be consumed by the fire and won’t make it out of the ashes, others will do okay and make do, which is perfectly fine with me – after all Im not present in their lives to dictate their destination. However, ever few years I get the privilege of working with a pupil who has so much potential it ignites my own fire. I know that however fragile they might be in this very moment with hard work and a clearer perspective, wonderful moments are just around the corner for them.

If you have the privilege or being a Mother to a child – no matter what colour, creed or gender – don’t let them ‘think’ they can breathe fire…show them how its done and tell them they already can.

We have tomorrow for a reason 

Quote Anon.

The concept of tomorrow gives me a little hope, so I think this post will mainly be about that four letter word that is way more powerful than most seven lettered words (small things and all that).

When the day isnt flowing how I’d like or I feel suffocated by the world around me as people demand, take, grab and ask…I often think that ‘tomorrow will be better’, without defending into melancoholy it’s true that we don’t know when our tomorrow’s  will run out, but I hope for tomorrow and to an extent I expect it. Tomorrow gives me hope, for better, less demanding, more enjoying moments.

Having just swerved (but acknowledged) the subject or death rather neatly I also feel the need to do the same for ‘living like everyday is your last’ that’s great if you’re backpacking around the world and seizing the day…but seriously who would have just hoovered their lounge, spent a week of there life potty training a 2yr old ( also know as a prisoner in my own home), who would bother to run the washing machine today if ‘seizing’ was a long term achievement? In reality I’ve just done all those things and I blooming hope for a tomorrow that will be a little more fun…hey at least if it’s not we will all have clean undies 🙂

The indulgence of ‘tomorrow’ gives us hope for long term goals to be fulfilled, to not eat all the biscuits (that’s why I’ve eaten them today, to help tomorrow out), for things to ease and change to occur.

Change is often like a leaky tap, when really we would all prefer a fountain of change at times, particularly a positive financial gain or when we face a long term illness.

I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring? We have plans so I’m hoping it will be lovely, I’m hoping it will come and I’m hoping yours will to…but before we rest our heads and wait for it to arrive make sure that once the chores are out the way there’s a little time today to indulge, to make small changes or just to smile.