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My goal is to design a life I don’t need a vacation from.

~ Fridgesays ~ 41 Comments

Quote by Rob Hill (sorry for the reflection of my PJ top in the photo)

Our last holiday was in 2011, it was pre little people and had the added sparkle of an engagement ring.

Since then life has taken over and although we have had breaks and fun a long the way, my case has been discarded in the loft whilst grown up priorities have kidnapped my bank account. This year will be different and I can’t wait.

However, my life aside – imagine a life where you don’t need a vacation because frankly life is already so diverse, incorporates travel and new cultures, where you enjoy your job and don’t feel the need to stop because maybe you already have the balance of calm and relaxation and new and exciting experiences.

This is living.

I feel so very sorry for anyone who hates every working day and lives for that one day off or a week away at some point, that is exhausting. That is surviving and the world is full of so many opportunities, choices and options that to be in a world as I’ve just described surely leads to ill health a life that is unfulfilled and even an early death.

I’d love to say when I’m doing house work Disney bluebirds sit on my shoulder, that I’ve never spent hours in AnE with a sickly child or that dark times haven’t knocked on my door (damn me for being polite, popping the kettle on and inviting the dark times inside my home) of course life isn’t always joyful, if it was we’d take it for granted and wouldn’t appreciate the wonderful moments however small and precious. Many highly successful individuals only reached their dreams due to lack and the desire to improve their current situation rather than wallowing in it – not to mention huge amounts of work and dedication plus working beyond other peoples expectations and perhaps further than they felt they could at the time…but there is a crucial word in this quote.

‘Goal’ something to aim for, something to aspire towards and perhaps never fully achieved BUT a focus for attention and a direction that I am striving for. Sometimes the journey is the joy, the excitement and the thrill to get to a life where a vacation isn’t necessary may seem far fetch, not currently there yet, I can’t tell you the answer but think I’m a step closer by balancing life’s darker days and opening the curtains; shining the light on the things that I do have, showing gratitude for the experiences, tastes and sights my world has experienced

Perhaps it’s time to review your goals in life, what you’d like or where you want to go…or may be like me you’ve found it in this quote.

Lovely things #11

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

In essence I use lovely things to note down what I enjoyed the previous month. Reading back over the previous ten I’m always surprised at how simple the things I’ve enjoyed are juxtaposed with how blooming hard life feels all to frequently. 

June was kind to the soul and tough on the wellies. But before I discuss the weather, true gratitude was the essence of the month.

1. Puppy love

My ‘in laws’ got a new Labrador puppy and we were blessed to have her for an afternoon / early evening as they were out. The family are using the crate method and so she is usually at home in her crate…not at our house. She cried and wailed like we were putting pins into her, as I went to pick her up (I’m weak when it comes to fur balls), there was my son as close to the cage as possible ‘reading’ to her . My mummy heart wept. Perhaps we aren’t flying through potty training, swimming like a dolphin in our local pool every weekend and just may be getting him to peddle a bike is pushing my patience to the extreme; but that little lad is kind and you can teach ‘soul’

2. Gratitude:

As a teacher months can go by without a thank you or a whisper of gratitude. However, despite the teenager shyness when it comes to showing appreciation, June provided me with several bouquets , cards and even a box of choccies. It was a huge learning curve for me to except them humbly rather than awkward or like a compliment I didn’t deserve. A huge thank you to June for reminding me to accept, smile  and enjoy a compliment rather than push it to the side with a “oh this old dress”

3. Rain

I told you I’d have to make some kind of remark. The rain flowed, thundered and at times felt it might drown my soul, so why mention it on lovely things? Because after so much of the wet stuff I embraced it, I shopped online for a rain coat, walked the dog in it laughing, I jumped in a puddle and sure I moaned from time to time, but if anything British summer time and any square inch of blue sky is richer for    the abundance of water we have experienced in the last four weeks.

Splashing and splodging through June has made me realise it was a little bleak but also held so much love and even fun. We even took my son to the cinema for the first time and he loved ‘the big tele’, my Dad had an operation on his eye and things are ‘looking’ positive. So what if it rained a little, it did the grass good 🙂

Confidence is silent 

~ Fridgesays ~ 10 Comments

Quote Unknown

Its no coincidence that I blog using quotes as my inspiration, I’m like the mother of Gus in ‘Fault in our stars’ and could easily have quotes all over my home, from cushions to walls, tiny plaques hanging from every door handle and post-its hidden in my sons lunch. Luckily I live with Mr F who is awesome at curving such ideas when they get out of hand. We have a limit on items I find joyful like candles, pebbles or in this case quotes.

I really do enjoy analysing them, researching the author and delving into the potential meanings to move my own journey in life forwards, I hope that in some small way as readers you also connect with the content and amazing doors of opportunity open for you.

This quote isn’t like the others.

Its unique.

I wrote my full post on this quote a week a go, gave it to Mr F to spell check and generally look over when he said some words that he has never said before…”you can’t put that out, it doesn’t work – start again”, I’d like to say at this point I defended my work and told him where to go, but I didn’t – I wasn’t even upset. I knew he was right.

*disclosure: Mr F cannot use the written word above against me, particularly in arguments around ‘Im always right babe’

Why do I think its unique? because as I read it I realise that this quote doesn’t require analysis, its all there for us to absorb, it is my reality everyday; people who approach me with ego and arrogance who project their insecurities at me in a feeble attempt to cover up their self conscious beliefs verses those that magnetise me, not because they are going out of their way to capture my attention, far from it – I’m captured by the magnetic force of sincerity, when praising them they respond with heartfelt gratitude and as a person they have depth, morals and all that complex stuff in between – sure they may have weaknesses, but they are grounded and don’t feel the need to project them at me.

So how do you alter what you are projecting if you are off balance?

  • Avoid conversations with people about weight loss and appearance, it is rarely helpful and often leads you in to a negative cycle of conversation.
  • Practise self love and self worth – you can do this by grabbing a note book and listing/ focusing on the things you like, the talents you have and the assets you can offer the world
  • Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people

And if all of that isn’t enough then new research suggests that placing your hands on your hips (in a super hero way, not a tea pot) for a few minutes increases you inner energy and other people see this in you – without you having to publicise it. If this feels a little seventies Superman (no such thing!-Mr F.) for you then I’ve even known friends who have done this in a toilet cubicle before an interview (and got the job 🙂 There is even a TedTalk about it by Amy Cuddy.

Stay blessed this week and focus on the assets your body has and the friends who leave you beaming.

What’s coming will come and we will meet it when it does 

~ Fridgesays ~ 18 Comments


Quote from Hagrid If only it wasn’t raining today or if we had more time…if this hadn’t happened or what if they don’t like me or people think I’m fat… Are all responses that many of us unconsciously  allow to flow from our mouths and into our reality.

Note the words in bold above. Highlighted in seems obvious that these perceptions would hold us back and stop us from reaching out true capacity, the words in bold like translucent chains prevent us from pursuing actions and even within everyday tasks hold us back. Yet most of us use them everyday and don’t even notice the shackles we’ve place upon ourselves. 

So how do we release them? I don’t think we need to. Like following our instinct at times we all need to say no, not participate or perhaps it can be critical a analyse after an event that helps to evaluate and improve future events. 

What I do think is helpful is to be mindful with the words we use, why we chose them and how they make us feel. To be present in what we say and think in the ‘now’

There is much research into the art of gossiping that tells us: 

  •  it’s an awesome stress reliever 
  • it helps us to understand what is and isn’t except able in society
  • it allows us to form bonds with others and isn’t alway negative 

Like everything this universe provides and denies, balance is necessary…if all you do is gossip and every time you meet that person all he/she wants to do is gossip you may need to divert the conversation to a new level, or even remove them from your world all together.

Hagrid makes a hugely valid point that for all our worries before an event – when it comes, we will deal with it as best we can. We have support from loved ones and even in our loneliest of times humans in crisis show huge resilience and incredible levels of ‘coping’ when forced to.

So enjoy the now and when it comes we will adapt, do what’s necessary, be supported by loved one and you knew what? It may just work out better than we hoped for.

If they give you ruled paper

~ Fridgesays ~ 21 Comments

Quote by Juan Ramon Jimenez 

Despite in my heart being a traditionalist, my reality has always been a little ‘backwards’, the baby came before the engagement, baby two before the wedding / well baby two was expensive so stopped any wedding…the house came in the middle somewhere and if this keeps up then I’m half expecting J to finish University before he tries preschool…

Guidelines are great, helpful and at times a necessity. However, this quote is literally about turning things an at angle that suits you, and sometimes ‘your way’ can be that little bit better, like the person who cashed in the mortgage and the steady job to travel and returns a better person. Somebody that has lived.

To every step family out there mixing up the bowl of life to make it work – this quote salutes you. 

To every retired couple out there not taking life’s sofa pathway and instead traveling – this quote gives you a high five.

To every toddler out there who is making their health visitor nervous because they are growing at their own rate and straying away from the pre decided charts – we laugh (unless you are the health visitor in which case we apologise) 

To every human…do it whichever way causes you the greatest joy and the least amount of pain, life is for living and sometimes its a little more enjoyable to write through the guidelines of life than to work with them.

This week turn that paper side ways and use crayons, great big chunky crayons or perhaps bust open the limited edition glitter set and make this week sparkle.

To live would be an awfully big adventure 

~ Fridgesays ~ 14 Comments

Quote by J.M.Barrie or Peter Pan depending on your outlook.Wise words from a character who didn’t want to grow up.

Before writing this post I was blow drying my hair and thinking about what it would be like to wear Beyonce’s shoes for a day (like you do) and despite the travelling id be surprised if she has actually seen much of the world and perhaps more rehearsal studios and hotel suites than people may think. I wonder if she likes being Beyonce? Or sometimes wants to drink actual Lemonade and inhale carbohydrates like she’s an extra in ‘Bridget Jones diary’, to stay in one place long enough to get bored or to pop around Walmart without security and leave the media perceptions behind. Perhaps she has days where she wants to give up the fame and be a stay at home Mum – don’t all Parents do that on hectic days?

Then I thought that from the many blogs I’ve read many parents that stay at home also work, perhaps not full time – many write that they miss adult company and then I got deep…and posed a question to myself. If it was my last day on earth what would I look back on? What should I have done differently? Did I live a good adventure?

The answer was yes, even in comparison to Beyonce – sure I haven’t gone on world tour, sold a ridiculous number of albums, won Grammies and shaken my bootie to its full potential…my adventure isn’t meant to be that of a World class musician, ten seconds of ‘The wheels on the bus’ causes my sons to shout out “Mummy, no more” my singing voice puts terror into any innocent nursery rhyme – but I’m learning and evolving in so many other ways. Each day I’m working on how to be a better Mum, a top notch Teacher, to stay in a productive and exciting relationship – to not kill said relationship because I’m hormonal and he has left his shoes by the backdoor

*note to him: the shoe rack is clearly at the front of the house in the porch, please use it.

So as each day passes and you write your next chapter, don’t be like Peter Pan and hide from growing up, living the same story of fighting Hook every day. To face fears and wear super high heels is super fun, to pick Holiday locations and be in charge of the passports is empowering and to live to your capabilities and beyond is my perception of this quote. 

To confront anxieties in small bite size chunks is hugely empowering and ‘living your adventure’, to over come barriers, to not get caught in gossip or surround yourself by negative voices

  • If you aren’t sure how you could begin this journey, there is one simple step that many people have found useful….say yes more often.

Have an awesome week, stop comparing yourself to others (I’ll work on not comparing my life to BeyoncĂ©) and live to reach your goals by saying yes and perhaps even excelling the odd capability or three as you go.


 

Dont ruin a good day because of a bad yesterday

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Grant Cardone
Seriously, this quote is my world right now. I’m a natural positive butterfly – but I’m human too. On bad days people still expect me to be sunshine and full Disney Princess sparkle when I’m actually feeling more Hulk.

Yesterday afternoon I was Hulk. I am able to catch myself in a negative frame of mind, but frankly sometimes I like to wallow in green fury for a little too long or just don’t have the energy to dust myself off and spread pixie dust wherever I go.

By half eight on a Saturday night I decided to let it all go and snuggled in bed. Adulting can be tough and sometimes just like my toddler in the midday heat – I need to nap it off

*Advice: never go to sleep feeling low, you will wake up feeling like you have a hangover and that is the epitome of miserable.

To ‘let it go’ I usually escape into a good book or emerge myself with silly YouTube clips (cute puppies, infectious baby giggles, or stupid people falling off of trampolines) until I’m tired enough to sleep and the immature giggles have lifted my soul.

Today is actually the real test. I don’t need the negativity of yesterday to ruin my today. To do this I make a choice to smile and always choose happiness…it’s hard work, as negative thoughts are like a poison that slip through gaps and as each day brings new challenges and opens new doors it can contaminate in seconds. This quote is more of a mantra to me that I reflect on when the responsibility of being an adult sucks.

Finance, childcare, chores and relationships can be all consuming. That and an unpredictable three year old that can have a emotional breakdown because the grass is green and he wants it to be blue, are all challenges that I attempt to make positive – I laugh at my child’s demands (warning: this sometimes frustrates him further) and I do the chores I can fit into my day without making ‘cleaning’ my entire day; the vacuuming can always wait till tomorrow, life as we know it will continue (with just a bit more dust around).

As for finance, I reflect on that I have it better than others, that bad months will come and good months will help us save for the rainy tsunami days, another quote that works well with this is John Lennon’s “Everything will be okay in the end, if its not Okay then its not the end”

With fresh eyes and a nights sleep today will be better and through this energy attraction, life in turn will be better. So here’s to choosing to see life through Disney Princess glasses, for now my Hulk is back to his human persona Bruce Banner…

Stay blessed this week, and for those who caught in your own ‘Hulk days’ here is a list of sources that can possibly help you break free. (if you’d like to know more about any in particular please ask and i’ll do a post on it in the near future)

  • Meditation (Headspace do a good app that provides an easy to follow starting point)
  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Matrix reimprinting
  • Lightning Process (not quite as cool as it sounds, but almost)
  • NLP (Neur0 Linguistic Programming)
  • Yoga

And the simple stuff from taking a walk, going to the gym, along drive or putting on your favourite tracks

I’d love to hear any of your suggestions; fill free to leave any below

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lovely things #10

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

May days were quick and gone before I could really get a feel for them. The weather was glorious or horrendous (with nothing In between) and with half term waving May days behind us adventures and snoozy mornings in bed were plenty.

I have a new promise that I’m trying to keep – I can’t stop ‘instagraming’ food pictures, seriously check out @fridgesays and follow me. It’s like a midlife photo crisis and so lovely things this month will not include a single food photo.

1. Walks with my boys.

With a Labrador and a little man in tow, walks can be messy and usually have some sort of water fun / mud through the kitchen element. However, one dry morning early this week we enjoyed a walk through our local woods and beyond. Thanks to Daddy ‘Elephant rides’ (shoulders) we were able to ‘mooch’ about four or so miles and it was simple family time that I’d like to bottle. I was on ‘oh pretty flower’ task force and these little beauties seemed to have ended up on our mantel piece.

2. After having a baby (as in he is three and I still haven’t fully recovered) finding a sense of identity can be hard. One thing that has been neglected on my happiness radar is baking. As I promised no food pics you’ll have to make do with below; needless to say half term had been ‘back to baking for me’ and I’ve relished every moment. 

3. We don’t watch tv very often in our home, for the first few years together we didn’t even own one. Mr Fridges Nan thought that we were odd and kindly bought us one. I guess she was right to an extent, but we mainly use it for films…the image below however is out of the shed and in full use and it brings me so much joy. We usually sit outside with a bottle of wine, a Spotify playlist and just chat until the wine runs out. It’s fab to connect as a couple and secretly brings out the arsonist in me – who is usually told to step away from the flames.

So I guess as usual I’m enjoying the simple things in life, which is ironic as my head is usually full of complicated desires. Either way I’m loving being outside and enjoying any sunshine Mother Nature can provide.

I used to hope you’d bring me flowers…

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote by the outrageous ‘Anon’
*sorry for the terrible photo quality…reflection / tone, it’s all just wrong.

But the quote speaks volumes to me.

On a personal level my Dad is my first hero. I guess I’ve waited my entire life to find the ‘one’, then when I found my prince he was a miserable git and not exactly the ‘charming’ that my Disney childhood had foreseen…but then Prince C didn’t have a good bicep, an impressive tricep and the banter only a doorman could have. Let’s be honest prince C was a bit of a Ken Barbie doll (and I prefer Action man). Early in our relationship I told him something that was so true in my twenties. Don’t ever buy me cut flowers…they look fabulous and then you sit them in a vase and watch them die – seriously depressing. Then I grew older, used my femine powers and changed my mind. He still stands by my original request and now I’m literally forced to buy myself flowers.

*note to him or anyone: I love being bought flowers.

I guess however this quote goes a little deeper, it’s not about flowers but making your own happiness. Under fridge philosophy (yeah that’s a thing now) I have to agree. Happiness is like a contagious snotty cold, but with less snot and a more powerful energy source than Dyson could invent. When I’m happy the world moves with me and even in darkness only knocks me slightly from my path. Along this path I attract positive energy and this only increased my super power. The choice to be happy.

If I could tell my teenage self one thing, it would be ‘that you choose to be happy’, my friends, family or the lastest NAF NAF tshirt can’t help you either, however in a positive moment family and friends can enhance your flight, and its a precious journey that is sacred.

Growing your own flowers to me is also about sowing the seeds of dreams and goals and seeing them to fruition. I don’t need a charming prince to ‘get me’ a castle, nor do i need him to make me happy. I do need my own goals (the soil), some action and motivation from within (the seeds) and then the positive motion to fuel my growth (water and sun), sure every now and then a slug will come and take a bite out of my dreams, redirect me or even reduce me to a sluggish mess…but it is also me that will get back up and rock my new snail trail sparkle.

So this week no matter what life throws at you. Choose happiness and for god sake buy yourself some flowers and don’t ever feel guilty.

To have great poets…

~ Fridgesays ~ 4 Comments

Quote by Walt Whitman

Now not that you aren’t a fab audience but I love to write poetry and keep it to myself. It’s a stress reliever – I’ve also not matured in the poet sense of appreciation and so all my poems HAVE to rhymn, a bit like a seven year old…goat, bloat and float, you get the level of my pen and paper ability?

Maybe in time I will post some, I write it in the most sparkly note book known to pen kind..with sparkly water melon pieces all over it. Amazing 🙂


Poetry allows me to regress in to a magical world (enhanced by sparkly watermelon pieces) and together they also bring me closer to my Grandad who passed away too long ago. He was amazing at so many things, creative, fixing things, making me smile, and he also was a kind soul…he sucked at cooking, and his driving was ‘unique’, he was also horrified when my little cousins named there Guinea Pig after him (hehe)  but after he passed away the family found a book of pencilled poetry / lymrics that he had created. Sadly the pencil had faded but through the pages I found a love and a passion that I wasn’t aware of, a new aspect of my Grandads’ personality. This blog is obviously a public creative outlet for me, unlike my poems which are a little closer to my heart.

Wellbeing and balance are so essential, I hope I never stop writing about them. I completely see why colouring for adults has taken the world by storm and also why so many are drawn to it (drawn hehe), I plan to give it ago later this year (for some reason I think I need to be snuggled by a fire with a hot drink for me to colour in?)

Do you have a creative outlet or have you tried colouring in for a sense of calm / wellbeing? If so I’d love to hear from you.

Before I finish this piece however, I feel it necessary to also agree with the quote above. Walt makes a very important point and since the current UK education system seems to be slashing the arts in our schools I feel its essential that our children are able to experience and share art (in whatever form it resonates with them) and also to say that Drama in particularly was key to my growth, my wellbeing and my education. Seeing audiences relate to my characters has given me a sense of worth that allowed me to flourish, to take on more diverse roles and those skills are ingrained in my soul and make me who I am. So to all the audiences (paid, bribed or in rehearsal) who ever watched and reflected; thank you.