unique

Follow the calling not the crowd

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

I remember when I was in year 9 parents evening and a PE teacher gave me some sage advice that I’ve passed on as a teacher many times. Her name was Ms Deacon and she said ‘pick the options (GCSE) that you like and think about enjoyment, don’t worry about the future – enjoy the moment’ and it was great advice because we all do better in areas that interest us. Unsurprisingly to any of you that know me it meant my timetable for year 10 was heavy on the arts and ultimately I left proud of the grades I achieved. She also warned me against following my friends choices and I’ve seen many year 9s fall into the trap of ‘following the crowd’ or choosing options or even school, college or university choices based on where there friends are going.

In a world where we are all trying to leave our mark, where diversity is beginning to be valued…we often just want to fit in and camouflage with our fellow humans around us for comfort. To leave the crowd can be daunting and particularly when making education choices at a younger and vulnerable age we can forget our calling…the bespoke path that leads us to our purpose, or sometimes we struggle at the end of our life to know whether we found our purpose, our fulfilment our sense of contentment.

Lately two of my friends have taken a detour on life. One has sold the house, dumped the boyfriend and despite a world pandemic has bought a motor home and is fulfilling her solo travel dreams albeit a little slower than she would have liked. Another has given up her well paid PR career in London to start a family. This is in my opinion braver than it may seem as she currently has a husband but no baby on board…her plan is to detox from work life and focus on her health with the goal of them conceiving in the next eighteen months… I admire both of these people because they have abandoned the norm, thrown wind to what others think and followed their own calling. Materialism and finance have fallen lower in there priorities and a sense of both stepping out of there comfort zones for a potentially more fulfilling tomorrow are prioritised.

That to me is brave, however for them once they made the decision it all flowed effortlessly because it aligned with their pathway. The other great bonus of following your own desires is you meet more people that see the world the way you do. This week take a moment to think about what you’d like to achieve; this week, a year from now or five years from now….are you taking action for a life you want to live, or have you been trapped by the crowd? Shine in your uniqueness and thrive.

Be different babe

~ Fridgesays ~ 32 Comments

Quote Anon

During my time at university I house shared with four other girls. We were all pretty amicable and we took it in turns to cook and weekly shopped together. It was during this time that I learnt there are a million ways to cook Spaghetti Bolognese that are nothing like my Mum would do. Adding mushrooms was fine and something I’d consider adding now, carrots seemed very amicable and almost Italian until one chick added what can only be described as ‘bendy’ carrots and we had to have a word with her. Ultimately it wasn’t fair on our stomachs lining and the carrots had escaped the pot long enough to be put to rest in a refuse centre somewhere far away. (R.I.P bendy carrots)

What I learnt was the old phrase of ‘there are more ways than one to skin a cat’ or in this case, cook a mid week spag bog. (Way more animal friendly when using Quorn, sorry cat lovers).

At the moment social media is enjoying looking at gender in young children and making comments on the toys they should and shouldn’t have, I think there is also a blogger who has written about her son being denied a princess Disney experience. So, as a blogger I thought I’d give my opinion on the topic – I couldn’t give a crap.

I don’t care if my son, or any child of any gender, non gender or polka dot gender wants to play with a pink sparkly doll or a transformer. I eat Yorkie chocolate bars on principle that they are advertised as ‘not for girls’ and all I actually care about is that my son is happy and healthy, or any other polka dot child previously mentioned. Be different babe, or don’t be different – it doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy. Some people love to be unique and others strive to fit in, some bubble along in the middle. Ultimately, society will judge (me included, especially after a GnT) and thats okay too. Whats not okay if for me to force my opinion on you to a point where you feel you need to change. Freedom of speech / rights are lovely phrases that comes with A LOT of really important small print. Ultimately you can squeeze it down to several sentences:

  • You CAN say what you want BUT you can’t offend someone
  •  Slander can get you in prison (and rightly so)
  • If nobody asked you for your opinion keep it to yourself, oh and the classic parenting quote ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’

Over the last few weeks millions of children will start new schools, colleges and Universities, over the last month parents have argued with those children as they battle to find ‘the right school shoes’ or the bag that is acceptable. I even heard a child crying in a local supermarket as her Mum was insistent on buying her ‘the wrong’ skirt. She wanted the one with the bow in the middle; don’t tell her Mum but the kid was right, it was way cuter with the bow. Anyway, I digress, the point I’m making is that many of those people will make fake friends as they battle like sardines to find a place to belong, any place – just to feel like they fit in…except they wont belong, the good news is they will form friendships by Christmas that are based on things that matter like shared interests, morals and the ability to make each other laugh, oh and the girl in the supermarkets Mum will be right, the bow will also have dropped off by Christmas and I totally understand why she isn’t paying an extra £3 for it.

I selected this quote for its simplicity and frankly I agree ‘Be different babe’ but if you don’t want to be different thats okay, just don’t feed me bendy carrots.