Words are free, it’s how you use them that costs you.

Quote by Anon

I may have spoken about this before but Pen from The Single Swan mentioned in a comment the other day that she picks a word for the year ahead, bizarrely that day the bestie and I were on the phone and mentioned that our common word for 2018 was ‘accomplished ‘ (sounds so joyful on the tongue). As a woman who loves to set intentions I thought I’d select a word for 2019. As I began to think about what I wanted from the year and searched through my bag of goals, ideas and plans I very quickly decided on a word and it scared me to my core.

Achieve.

As I type the word I feel a sense of burden, fear and that perhaps I’m taking on a word that’s out of my reach. However, through this blog I have learnt that nothing changes unless you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. I also don’t need every moment of every day to be an achievement and with small adjustments as the months roll I can take steps that suit my pace. That said, some of the goals I will achieve will need me to step way beyond my area of comfort. Upon reflection it’s a word suitable for success and the challenge that comes with achieving. Take for example my first challenge…the puppy I rescued. She is a ball of chew and needles from her teeth to her sharp claws. She has no boundaries (we are trying to teach her them day by day, she is teaching us that rules are made to be chewed) and although she’s also a bundle of cuteness, I know training her will be a challenge but also an achievement.

Next, I will be moving this blog away from WordPress and to my own site…any tips totally welcome as http and widgets brings me out in a cold sweat of confusion and doubt. However, by taking the leap will mean I can add a new aspect to the site which I really want to do…details to follow once I’ve worked out the ifs, but’s and all the words that come with achieving this mission.

Other things I’d like to achieve will help me to love my home a little more. It’s a nice house but as I’m not a fan of the word ‘nice’ this speaks volumes about my feelings to the building we call home.

2019 will also be my daughters 10th anniversary. It blows my brain to think of all the things she could of liked and become. We don’t celebrate her birthday or death but I’d like to mark her decade with a gathering or event…again, any ideas welcome as this will be another emotional challenge to our journey to achieving a positive life without her on earth.

Join me through my challenges and achievements via this corner of the internet and why not pick your own word…if like the quote suggests we pay a price, let it be life changing for the better.

Happy New Year.

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Wake. Pray. Slay

Quote by awesome Anon

I find that if I can wake on my terms (without a little ninja creeping in and tackling me) I can literally take on the world.

Seriously it’s like a revolutionary universal explosion, when the ninja does creep in my day is more like the Jurassic age…mummy dinosaur is ferocious. I’ve wrote a post before about my morning routine but thought I’d write about how I turn my Mummy-Rex in to a mummy dream when things don’t go as planned.

I lock myself in the toilet. We are blessed with both an upstairs and downstairs bathroom, so if one is out of action nobody has the excuse to break down the door. I basically sit and reawaken. It’s not as snug as my bed, but it’s ninja attack free. I then do some simple breathing techniques that I find work for me. I’ve also been known to do these in public bathrooms when my stress levels are going crazy. It’s called the OM breath and just two minutes is enough to reduce your heart rate by two thirds. I also like it because as you breath in and out you make a rasping sound that reminds me of waves. Google it, it works and the tutorials are hilarious.

I write a list. Seriously, I’m a spiritual being but have never found joy in prayer, but a list is like fuel in my engine. It gives me direction in an otherwise chaotic day, I feel a huge sense of achievement as I tick off each item. I’ve even been known to add things I’ve done previously to writing the list, on the list, just so I can tick them off. I even have a notebook dedicated to lists.

Self care indulgence. Everyday I squeeze in a little self care, it might be painting my nails, lighting candles, clearing out a draw, ringing a friend…but on days when I’ve turned it around I reward myself with bonus time. Today was indeed a slay day. There was so much to do and I was a single parent with the Mr away, so once the ninja was asleep I had a bubble bath, hair treatment, painted my nails, lit candles, listened to a podcast, had some posh tea and even made time (thanks to the tribe of support) to squeeze in a yoga class.

…why? Because when you’ve slayed you need to do two things.

  • Celebrate: because whatever you were slaying was exhausting.
  • Top up your cup: there’s that wise old saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup and frankly my cup was cracking today, nobody wants me to leak over them so best I fill in the chip and recharge.

I hope you wake to slay tomorrow. How do you turn things around when your day isn’t going as planned? Please share any tips in the comment section 🙂

Start your day with a dance party

Quote Anon wearing sparkly shoes

I have a morning routine that I do before my day begins, you can read about it here. If you do nothing for yourself ever again, I suggest you get one too. It makes my day start from a place of joy and if I didn’t have it in my life it would be like not having lungs.

After this the days demands capture me, throw me into a frenzy and at times I have to regain control with a mini mindful exercise. I think the ‘your day’ in this quote is really important, we can blame others when they interrupt our flow, make excuses but really it’s how we deal with life’s negatives and how long we hold on to them that guides our lives.

Emotions are complex, the extremes are often lifted for me with a dance to a song that makes me smile. I crank it up and dance like I’m on stage in a huge concert hall. The boys run for cover – this mummy can’t sing BUT THAT DOESN’T STOP ME. I find night club classics from my clubbing days are a great way to begin, then I move on to anthems. The concert in my bedroom, lounge or kitchen goes on until I’m ready to take on the world…which reminds me The Guardians of the Galaxy sounds tracks are also amazing for mood shifting.

Sometimes I listen through headphones for a personal party effect but mainly I like to contaminate the house with my moves and boom the music as loud as it can go. I’ve also been known to find a musical soundtrack on Spotify and work my way through the numbers…always with random lines from various characters delivered in perfect time. My son sometimes comes in for a strut, but mainly I’m a solo act.

Why? Well I do have a drama degree, but I actually think I dance because physically moving helps those endorphins to buzz around, lifts the soul, its free and guess what – it works.

If you have never danced in the mirror, thrown yourself down the stairs like a Hollywood diva in the last few weeks then I have one piece of advice. Do it. Dancing isn’t for those that can, Shakira was right – the hips don’t lie. Kelis finds milk shades and boys in her yard, Beyoncé runs the world and Tina Turner is simply the best and looking great on each and every roll down the river. So what are you waiting for? Solo dance through the week and watch the changes that happen to your mood, body and vibration.

You’ll turn out ordinary if you’re not careful

Quote by Ann Brashares.

This quote made me smile. So many people of all ages lack a love for themselves. Why? Most of us are trying to be someone we aren’t. Perhaps not all of the time, but as we juggle all of the various hats on that we wear throughout the day we prefer the fit of some and hide behind others.

During my early teaching years I tried to emulate colleagues who I thought did the job well, or teachers who taught me. It didn’t work. It wasn’t me.

As a mother that was an entirely new hat (complete with ruined core muscles) that took a while to fit. I needed my hat adjusted as I took on the new role. To work out who my mum tribe was, to raise my little dude in our own way and to adjust the hat to fit me. I can’t mum like my mother did, I’m not her, although she is an amazing example, I’m raising my child in a different era with a new journey ahead of us. It took a while and needs constant adjusting but my mum hat is bespoke. It’s me and it fits like a dream.

I’m not sure anyone is happy to live an ordinary life, I think we would all opt for sparkle and quirk. However, there are a few things you need to do to live this life.

  • You need to be brave, to step away from the crowds when it doesn’t suit you.
  • You need a tribe around you that accepts you, cracks an’ all.
  • You need time to yourself, balanced with time with loved ones. There is a lot of research to suggest we ‘are’ the five people we spend the most time with. If these people are ordinary so are you.

I can’t juggle my ever growing hat stand without time for myself; to be creative, to be healthy and to be quiet. The world is a whirl of distractions and so I need to breath and pause, to check I’m on the pathway that best fits me.

This week perhaps you need to check your own hat stand out. The hats that are last season, the hats you hate, the hats you wear because everybody else does. Perhaps it’s even time to buy a new hat. Just make sure the hats are your own design and not made for somebody else.

Happy hat shopping.

Do the universe a favour and don’t hide your magic

This quote is from Yung Pueblo, a wonderful young writer and creative energy.

Fine, I picked the quote because it has the word magic in it, but it also spoke to me and reflected a journey I am constantly in. Recently in the UK we have announced GCSE results, as a teacher its my job to analyse the results my pupils got, celebrate the good and recreate it, critically analyse the negative and make sure the next cohort do better.

I had two pupils in my class that were capable of getting a B grade, but they got a D. I wasn’t surprised as they had both disengaged at various parts of the course / school life. This was their choice. They didn’t take up offers of revision sessions before or after school, they didn’t come to Saturday revision classes, they didn’t answer questions in class and on the surface I believe they received the grade that reflected their effort.

However, in doing so they didn’t show the universe what they were capable of. They didn’t sparkle, or shine. In front of them stood and opportunity and they let it slip. Does it matter? Probably not, not in the grand scheme of things. I’m sure they will reflect on the course and find blame on myself as a teacher, on others that distracted them, ill health, boyfriend/relationship issues or something, somewhere…but will they ever realise it was actually down to them not being prepared to show the universe they had extra sparkle?

Despite my career path I loathe examinations. That aside, it made me polish my wand. Reflect and learn. At first, it made me look at my other classes, recognise similar patterns and in the last few weeks I have moved seating plans, made phone calls home, set bespoke pieces of homework and then I applied this thought process to me. To today and what I did, or didn’t do yesterday. Exams are a unique way to pigeon hole a success at a given time, but actually each of us choose to shine and some of us are living much like our mobile phones, with low battery. 

What can I improve on tomorrow that I didn’t do well today? What would make me 2% better, kinder, happier, healthier…the list could go on. I really believe the list should go on. We never nail life, we should be nailing aspects each and every day. Make today better than yesterday and show the universe so much sparkle it will wish it had sunglasses. Have an awesome tomorrow 🙂 


 

You are the sunshine that makes my day

This quote, like many seems to be the work of the very busy Anon.

Regular readers will know I live in the UK; the biggest give aways are how I spell ‘Mum’ and my British need to write about the weather, use weather related similes and metaphors (when Disney is out of stock) and generally to cloud my writing with lightening bolts of weather related vocabulary…see what I did there 🙂

Its therefore no shock that this quote caught my eye and caused a sunbeam to shine within me. I have written as have most other bloggers about my love for my blog and also how sometimes social media doesn’t always give you the entire truth. I have to say that it isn’t exactly truthful in my corner of the internet, as I choose not to share everything. The downside is this doesn’t give a 360 degree perspective. The fabulous side is I keep some privacy and don’t chose to share the negative. As a person who believes that you manifest what you are in alignment with and is 97% positive I don’t wish to ramble about the negatives of life on a regular basis.

When it comes to Instagram (please join me @fridgesays) I post a photo most days and recently have been posting things that make me happy. Sometimes its an object I’ve owned for years; like a glass snail I picked from my Grandads house after he past away. It now sits on our bedroom window sill and we actually coordinated the entire rooms colour scheme around it.

The recent political election was heavily influenced by young voters and social media. It’s a new way of expressing ourselves. I don’t believe everything I see, hear or read and I apply the same in the virtual world. I choose to follow yummy mummies who are ultra glam and who’s photos reflect things that make my Instagram feed light up like a rainbow, I use it to make myself laugh, feel good and often take inspiration from people’s feeds. Recently my friend @hilaryhobanphillips (seriously follow her, her feed and work is beautiful) introduced me to a crazy colourful feed from @1000wave – when I grow old I want to look as bright and bouncy as this diva! Just looking at her feed allows me to smile and causes sun beams to flow.

People around us can heavily impact our emotions, both sun beams and thunder storms are frequent in my house, but a quick swipe through Instagram often makes me feel better. I also often record little things my son has done, seen or said, this makes for a fabulous visual memory box of joy. Showing gratitude to those around me also makes me feel awesome and let’s not forget the mighty joy of Pinterest as we create boards of wonder. I don’t bake a cake without double tapping and there’s a board for any home improvement or crazy creative task! Yay 🙂

Social media often gets a bad reputation and although I realise there is a dangerous, unconnected and sinister side to the internet, it’s also pretty amazing. So how do you use social media to enhance your sunny days? More importantly who’s IG feeds are your favourite?

*written sitting in the sun in my garden sipping a strawberry cider – win!