small steps

Everything is a choice

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Having a choice feels free and exciting, it means you are in control and as humans we like to be (or like to think) we are in control. That said, as an adult I have the choice of choosing what my family eats EVERY DAY and it’s exhausting! Some choice opportunities are better than others.

At times, life can give us multiple choices that again, can become overwhelming and sometimes that smallest of choices can drain our souls (did I mention picking my families menu for the week?)

We can also feel like we don’t have a choice and that can be just as terrifying. The quote suggests that we always have a choice and whilst I agree I think it’s important to remember that nothing in life is ever simple. Let’s take the scenario that you’re in a cafe and the waitress brings you over a latte, only you ordered tea. You may think you can’t do anything about it but this small issue can be altered by many different outcomes, here’s a few choices you could consider;

  • Drink the latte
  • Look confused and hope the waitress has telepathically worked out the error
  • Order a new beverage
  • Politely remind the waitress of your order and ask for her to take the latte back and bring you a tea
  • Sulk – but do nothing
  • Leave without drinking anything

You may think you don’t have a choice, your social etiquette and anxiety may prevent you from doing anything but that in itself doesn’t stop the choice being there.

Outcomes are something that we sometimes didn’t choose and wouldn’t want for ourselves. It can feel like our choices haven’t been taken into account, which in itself can feel awful. Not so much with incorrect drink orders but larger outcomes like not getting the job we applied for, the paperwork we need, a medical diagnosis or experiencing fertility outcomes we hadn’t thought possible. This is where the magic lies. Warning : it doesn’t feel like magic at the time, it feels like swallowing bricks. Sometimes, we can’t change the outcome but we do still have a choice in how we react and move on from the outcome given to us. This often means letting go of how we perceived the situation was going to work out. (Note: this is hard!) However, if we can let go of the hows and the when’s, then we allow magic to enter that often allows us to achieve our outcome.

I should also add, we are all working this out as we go. Life doesn’t have a manual but what I can offer you is billions of choices in each life time. Studies have recently shared that as adults we make 122 choices on average each day, the fun part is that half of these we then alter. The best thing you can do on your current path is be content with the choices you do have and let go of ‘how’ the outcome is achieved. Great news is that if you haven’t liked anything I’ve written about you have the choice to stop reading, that said I hope you keep returning for more content. Perhaps everything really is a choice?

Get 1% better everyday

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

As a little lady I’ve always known that ‘small steps’ led to reaching your destination, it may sometimes take a little longer but the victory is all the sweeter for it.

This weekend we took our son to a Rugby festival and small steps made all the difference to the team, they left winning all of their matches…the game play wasn’t superior, there wasn’t any new players but they made a few small changes…they spoke to each other during play, they used each others talents to serve the team and they came home winning every match.

Habits are crucial to reaching your goals, to living the life you truly want to. Small incremental moment of progress will always get you to your target and you often find any set backs are smaller too.

Take a moment to think about what you’d like to achieve. If it helps, write it down. From now until the end of time your job is to make that goal a reality, try not to give yourselves a time frame – having it happen is better than not. Many people think they fail because they lack resilience or loose focus. They usually don’t reach the goal because they don’t build habits to support them and when they do regress or decline, they internally berate themselves. If we feed ourselves negativity, we can’t expect the results to be positive.

So this week, speak kindly to yourself. You truly are your best friend. Look at the goal you wrote down for yourself and be that person a little more tomorrow. If you want to be someone that runs regularly, then create some habits that support that goal; leave your running clothes out for ease, set some nonnegotiable time in your calendar but most importantly be kind to yourself. Let’s be more specific: your goal is to run daily. If you are feeling fragile, exhausted or depleted from life you could still go out for a walk with your trainers on, it may be that the fresh air motivates you and you run the last two minutes home – you still ran that day and even if you didn’t, you’re nearer to your goal if you run ‘more’ days than you do now, so missing one here and there isn’t the end of the line. You don’t have to run more the next day, you don’t have to tell yourself you’ve failed. Kindness and daily habits should be your priority.

Some goals are hard to see how you can make small steps, if this is the case then I recommend you spending some time brainstorming all the things you’ll be able to do ‘one day’ then instead of the huge goal, work towards one of the ‘one days’ – any progress is success, even if you’re 1% closer.

A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

It’s Saturday morning and I’m stretched out on my yoga mat in the garden. The lawn was freshly mowed yesterday but so many spring flowers survived the cull and it’s a little piece of heaven.

I came outside to do some morning yoga, my body was hit by period pains and my head was spinning (probably from a imminent full moon), so before this I lounged on my bed feeling sorry for myself. I knew I needed to shower and that would make me feel a little better. I also knew that some tea and being outside was what I needed, the pull of my bed called…I resisted and came outside.

I decided to make my yoga practice today super kind, slow and without thought. As the sun warmed my yoga mat I slowly moved my body into positions that felt supportive. The more I appreciated my surroundings and the warmth of the sun, the more I was able to move on the mat. Gratitude lifting my soul.

I went inside to grab my phone thinking that I should look up some yoga poses that would benefit my body and try to ease some of my cramps. A quick glance on Pinterest and I had myself laughing. I’d already completed the recommended poses – intuition had taken over.

At work we are currently going through a restructure. Worries are high and staff conversations are often a low vibration – the pathway of what change will look like feeding fear, momentum picking up each month and more email’s increase panic. Last week after many months of meetings that I seem to come away from with more questions than answers, I decided to make a decision for myself. I ignored the larger piece of the puzzle and how it would come together. Instead, I decided on what my piece might look like. I visualised how I’d like it to be. I took some actions and set some wheels in motion and now I have removed myself from the topic. Much like the quote, by making time to listen to my intuition, by calming myself I was able to allow the fear to dissipate. This side of the changes I’m unsure whether this mindset will serve me, perhaps I’ll exclude myself from vital information…but I doubt it. I honestly believes that my quietening the noise around me I’ll be able to move into the changes with a higher level of optimism and peace. Time will tell

Intuition is very much a gift, it’s a hundred percent in the present moment and it comes from within. The noise of the working week and the ever lasting to do lists can keep it at bay, but I strongly recommend taking a few minutes out of your day to see where it takes you. That said, remember the first few moments of quiet will mean your brain will whirl like a tornado…let it spin and don’t listen to the fear. I often internally say thanks for the fear thoughts but let’s move on…wait, wait a little bit longer and boom! That’s where the good stuff is. Intuition is just you listening to you without the world pushing it’s agenda on you. Do you value yourself enough to make some time to listen?

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Max Depree

I can’t marry Tom Hardy if I stay on my sofa every evening, unless Tom starts a part time job for our local pizza company, the chances of us meeting remain remote, although the love affair is guaranteed once he seems me in my fluffy pjs and messy bun.

I remember being pregnant for the first time and looking down at my watermelon belly thinking the laws of physics may mean that what went in may never come out? But I couldn’t begin the awesome journey of parenthood without something giving…like all my internal organs, sanity and abdominal muscles.

Sometimes if we want to marry Tom, have a baby, cut the lawn or change career – we need to take action. I know you’re already thinking, wow Lucy is going deep today but I’m watching humanity go insane but doing the exact opposite – shouting at drivers and then not given way to other drivers, being derogatory about ex partners and then giving that person brain space, moaning about excessive weight gain whilst walking over to the biscuit tin…people need to wake up.

What do we need to do? Firstly, we need to take 2 actions…well maybe three?

Action one: Decide what you really want. For example whilst marrying Tom Hardy may appear delightful, it could get a little awkward with Mr F who I really do adore, plus I might actually have to leave my sofa. If I’m honest I’m not sure I really want this, I mean if he’s reading this – then call me Tom and we can’t work something out, but ultimately without that call…I’m not sure I’m fully dedicated to the outcome. Once you do find what you truly desire things become much easier and the battle to get off of the sofa can even become enjoyable.

Action two: Hold yourself accountable. That means don’t buy the biscuits, reduce the alcohol consumption…take the steps that bring you nearer to your goal. *secret: anyone can do this, it doesn’t take commitment or celebrity status, it often saves money and can be time efficient as you improves your wellbeing…it simply means setting a goal and take one small step to towards your goal. Why then do so many people fail? Either because the goal doesn’t really mean much to them (sorry Tom) or they listen to the negative settings in their brain and let themselves sabotage their own progress. When dead, surgeons completing autopsies don’t write down ‘Matthew had a heart failure and his resilience was low’ nor do they operate in life to increase dedication or self esteem. You can’t get fillers to top up your perspective, or pills to enhance your motivation and there aren’t injections for will power… whilst frustrating this comes with a huge positive – all these things from resilience to willpower are free and available to all! All you have to do is decide in the morning when you wake that you won’t do the thing you shouldn’t (or will do the thing you should)…and you make that decision daily. Repeat process each morning, small steps to a better you.

Action three: I guess this isn’t an actual action but rather a reminder…you are worthy of Tom Hardy, a freshly cut lawn, a healthier body, laughter, joy and all the very best life has to offer. You can achieve anything you set your mind to, you can leave your sofa and so can I…well, the *lawns not going to cut itself.

*note: whilst hopefully inspiring when I say cut the lawn, I interpreted this as ask the Mr to do it for me, I’ve never actually cut the lawn in my life and this is not an ‘action one’ I’m looking to achieve. I guess sometimes we need the support of others to support us and that can work out wonderfully too.

Listen to your body, it’s smarter than you

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Today I offer you a pause. An opportunity to reflect on your physical health.

Often we look in the mirror and we reflect on what we immediately don’t like; multiple chins, sagging cheeks (either or both), hair condition, spots, blemishes, too fat or too thin… and we tell ourselves we aren’t worthy.

Except today’s health pause it’s a little bit deeper. I’d like you to think upon your body as your home. The list of common body issues above (blemishes and hair condition) it the decoration. It’s the wallpaper and the alcove, it’s the initial impact that we see. Beyond that we add clothing, accessories and hair cuts – these are the home decor, where we may show a little of our personality, back to our home analogy and this is the cushions, the fixture and fittings and the paintings on the wall.

If you’ve ever purchased a house you’ll know that surveyors are more interested in foundations, in wall structure and wood rot…they ignore the appearance of the home and look deeper to see if the building is structurally sound. This is the level I’d like you to pause on. I’ve loved yoga since forever but in 2021 my practise has been redundant – at one point the mat that’s often in action daily got dusty. I tried several gimmicks and surprise surprise they didn’t work. My mat reduced to a corner of our home while I made every excuse not to roll it out. We (yoga and I) fell out of love.

That was until a few days a go. I’m not sure why or how, so we’ll go with the obvious ‘magic’ answer. I rolled my mat out, went back to an old favourite routine and I loved it again. It was like reuniting with a friend, the magic sparkled over the mat and it wasn’t a chore. I was back.

Once my magical yoga experience had ended, I tried again the next day and sure enough more magic shone over my mat and I. That said, I learnt a few lessons…I didn’t flow as well, I was rusty and it showed. My muscles ached after, easy poses were harder than usual and I realised I’d lost some ‘foundation’ strength…neglecting my yoga practise meant my house was a little crumbly in places. My surveyor wouldn’t be too worried but there would definitely be a warning clause on my home.

There is a direct comparison between leg strength and death. Ageing is inevitable (except if you’re Madonna) and the weaker your legs, the more likely you are to tumble…the more likely you tumble, the more likely you are to experience other issues…the human body really is like a Jenga tower and the better your tower, the better your future is. Looking after your bones, joints and organs is integral to how ‘well’ we can move and good movements means a better quality of life.

Nobody is perfect and we can all do a little more here and a little less there…as I said at the beginning, this post is a pause. What does your house need? Your intuition usually knows. Mine requires a little more water (a little less tea), yoga to be integral to my routine and a few more early nights. The great thing about bricks and mortar is they’re usually things we know we should / could do…if we could be bothered. If your actual home falls apart, you can rebuild…your body doesn’t always allow you a second chance and you can’t move house, otherwise we’d all live in Madonna’s body. Enjoy the pause and know you are worth the home improvements, everyone should live in their dream home.

The secret to your future is hidden in your daily routine

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

As we stand on the cusp of a new decade I can’t help but both wonder and hope for an abundant 2020

However, I do know for certain that this weeks quote is true. Many people often feel that ‘things will be different’ next year and that challenges will suddenly dissipate.

I’ve always known that life is full of miracles and that the universe often delivers them when you least expect them, the rest is down to small consistent actions. Not even the most confident of people wake up and feel worthy, it takes daily practices, changes in mindset and surrounding yourself with positive people… if you daily fill your body with negative thoughts and foods that you know don’t make you thrive, dis-ease awaits your future.

If you make time to reflect on the contrast that life brings and focus on the good – you magnify abundance. I know because I’ve done both.

It takes daily practise. Setting small goals and sticking to them, it takes lots of little actions that build up to big changes… you can’t fill your mouth with food that you know makes you sluggish and lacks nutrients and expect to feel good about how your body moves and looks.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are we. If you want to live the dream, you have to work and play daily to attract it. But here’s the big secret… it doesn’t matter if you fail. What matters is that you don’t let that small action (it in my case lack of action) determine the next action that you take. 2020 can be the year you’ve dreamed off, it’ll take courage and stepping out of your comfort zone but I promise it’ll be worth it.

Don’t set resolutions that life will be any different, instead take daily actions, create routine that mean each day you’re a little closer to achieving the life you dream of.