Be the reason someone believes in good people.

Quote Unknown

Today is Sunday 22nd March 2020 and this post is dedicated to my son who turned seven today.

A drawing of me – obviously
Mummy 2020

A bizarre birthday today, I have enough cake to feed at least thirty people…we are down to three. *An amazing problem to have. Social distancing means his party was cancelled and I’m left with empty party bags, then make up play dates made earlier last week have also now been cancelled. The post being slower than it usually is means only a couple of cards have made it through…he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know too much about the worlds issues as we shield him as much as possible but he is happy that school is closed, knows it’s to keep everyone safe, knows he is loved and then broke me with a thoughtful act of selflessness.

Today is also Mother’s Day in the UK. We as a family don’t really celebrate, acknowledge with perhaps a card and some flowers and then it becomes a normal day. Since the death of my daughter in 2009 I’ve never been a fan.

This morning little dude ran into our room for hugs and then quickly made his way down to the living room to see 4 presents. Social distancing again means family gifts have not arrived. We made a big deal and encouraged him to dive in an open the gifts he did have. He ran off.

Moments later he reappeared from his bedroom with a homemade card for me for Mother’s Day. Nobody asked him to make it

*spelling wise you can see it was his own work

…and it made me think. If my seven year old can think of me before opening presents on his special day, if he can accept many disappointments over the last few weeks…can we not as adults share the food supplies in the shops? Can we not be kind? Can we not stop going out unnecessarily, the longer we do the longer this isolation will continue and the death toll will rise. Perhaps we all need to think like the mini man I’m ever so proud to call my son.

The world needs more kindness. As a result on Instagram I’m running a series on my stories called #kindnessiscontagious if you see anything you’d like to add please message me. Sharing of kindness is worth spreading – Unlike snot and germs. Rather than reflect on what you don’t have at this moment in time, enjoy what you do have. Enjoy family time, the gift of pausing if you aren’t still at work, make memories together and perhaps even step away from the media and enjoy your bubble of solitude. No matter how dim the dark is you can always find a glimmer of hope, perhaps like the quote suggests, be that kindness reminder for others.

And like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to be full again.

Anon

Ive always like the solar system, science never really appealed to me at school but how can you ignore the beauty of the nights sky? The constellations, the history of how various stages of humanity used the stars and planets as guides, the heat of the sun, the planets lined up like Russian dolls hanging off of my sons ceiling…and the moon. By far my personal favourite, that smiling face of glow and delight that’s force pulls and pushes of tides and if i’m honest my heart strings.

Over the last few months I’ve been tracking the moons phases and can see patterns in my life where the moon is waxing and waning. Whilst I refuse to discuss the chaotic and perpetual negative cycle of fear we are currently being fed by mainstream media, social media and the miserable lady at the bus stop, this quote fed my soul in a way that those outlets haven’t and so I had to use it.

Amongst the depths of the dark we can appreciate the light of day. If we chose to discard the negative surface of fear, underneath we can see glimmers of hope, love and happiness. Stories of human compassion, pure kindness and this is what I’ve decided to put into my bubble. Where people see confinement and lack, I can decide to see the opportunity to be at home, surrounded by my loved ones. I can be thankful for the health of my loved ones and can offer help to those who I’m able to. Like the lady who had a four month old baby screaming and couldn’t find Calpol in any of our local stores…I offered ours, we don’t need it. She does.

Perspective is a difficult thing to see in the dark, but look to the moon for guidance. It allows us to appreciate what we do have, what experiences we have had rather than what we are yet to do. Contrast is a bitter sweet gift, but perhaps we are more like the moon that we realise? The darker times often inform the lighter moments of life and much like the cycle of the moon, it will pass and we will be grateful and full again.

Look after loved ones and do all you can for those at risk, above all be kind even in the loo roll aisle.

You can start over every morning

Quote Anon

My last post was about vision boards, setting goals and motivation for the year ahead. I mentioned that I had signed up to 30 days of yoga and so far on day nineteen it’s going well, I’ve made it to the mat everyday.

However, I wanted to share a new perspective on motivation. Just because I’m successful in achieving my goal (so far) doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard and doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to skip a session. Last week I was exhausted from work, I got home and put my pyjamas straight on – I wanted to snuggle, until a sentence my friend had said just hours earlier entered my head, she didn’t want to go to her exercise class either BUT was going because she wanted to create the habit… sometimes when we least want to show up is when we actually end up getting the best results. So, sulking like a moody teenager and still wearing my pyjamas I sat on my mat. I was then blissfully rewarded and that days session invited us to wear snuggly clothes, grab a blanket and just breath. Snug in my nightwear and relieved I didn’t have to exert myself it was exactly what my body needed, plus I was rewarded with the satisfaction that I hadn’t created an excuse not to do the session. Sometimes showing up is enough.

However, sometimes like the quote suggests life throws you a problem that you didn’t foresee and it can prevent you from achieving your goals as quickly, for example you are watching what you eat and at a friends they order a take away, this can be the start of the end, from then on a ‘what’s the point’ attitude means biscuits, treats and high fat foods are on the menu. OR you could just see the meal as a celebration, a moment in time and with kind thoughts wake the next morning and return to the healthy choices you previously had succeeded in selecting. I think successful individuals don’t let the hiccups of life get in there way, instead they let them pass and continue on the path they intended.

The voices of failure and that we aren’t good enough are loud for all, it’s deciding not to and when to listen to them that’s the key to achieving your goals. If you did set a goal and so far the plan hasn’t…well, gone to plan. You will wake tomorrow, start again and that’s good enough.

Be proud of how hard you are trying

Quote Anon

Whether you set a New Years resolution, you’re generally stepping up the pace in life, or you have a secret mission to achieve a dream then take a moment to be kind to the effort you are putting in.

When my son tries he’s best that’s good enough for me. However, I’ve notice that adults often aren’t so kind to themselves.

Let’s take vegan January or veganuary?? I saw one of my followers on Instagram post a yummy photo of a meal she’d made. In the background was some coleslaw. I went to type ‘that’s not vegan’ when I thought ‘shut up, she’s trying’…instead I wrote how yummy it all looked and that I hope she enjoyed it.

I remember my Mum dieting when I was younger and a couple of days in she would cheat and tell her friends the diet had failed.

Stop

She failed one day, that doesn’t mean the next day couldn’t of been better. I believe that the pure intention of wanting to take action is more than most people achieve, she tried.

Last week I was run down and my cup was empty, as a result the chores in our home have stacked up and my laundry basket resembles Mount Etna. Rather than looking at the mountain of stains with sadness, I took my attention to the things I did achieve; the vacuuming was done, meals were created and we survived, I tried my best. Now back on track, I’ll throw a few more washes on this week and soon the basket will be empty (well, as empty as a family laundry basket can ever be)

If you are trying, give yourself a break. If friends and loved ones around you are trying around you please spread the message that you are proud of them for trying. It’s better than doing nothing and even if they do have a wobble, with your support and encouragement they are more likely to succeed the next time they try.

Effort deserves respect in a five year old world, let’s spread the love a little further and make effort an ageless celebration.

Be a good person but don’t waste time proving it.

Quote Anon.

The word that sprung to mind was ‘integrity’ when I saw this quote. It’s so important when you have an audience to still do the same things when your audience has gone home.

Being ‘good’ is obviously a word thats open to interpretation, but proving it is something I find people who are often insecure in their self do. Lets face it many people suffer from ‘lack of self love love’ and we certainly all have days where the self love monster eats our souls and spits us out in a top thats too tight, eyeliner thats clearly thicker on one side than the other – and thats only if we can be bothered to open our make up boxes.

Self love aside, there is nothing worse than meeting a person, thinking they are ‘good’ (feel free to enter any other adjective of your choice in here – I’m partial to ‘kind’ and also ‘stupendous’, although I just looked up good in the thesaurus and ‘ship shape’ made me laugh), only to find a few meet ups down the line that they are more plastic than Tiny Tears.

However, don’t despair below I plan to outline my own survival guide of 2018 for surviving and even thriving around these people. Its a comprehensive guide and I hope will be of value to you and others, in true fridgesays manner I have created it in magnets.

In essence, if someone is good to you or others to impress you or so you think they are good, suck up their good vibes like a baby and their milk bottle and don’t worry about their motivations. If they are doing it to impress you, firstly be honoured they give a shizzle and then know that in time people always show their true colours. I believe Phil Collins (legend of the 90’s) created a song around this theme, aptly named ‘True colours” although I can’t recommend the song to you, the video is hilarious with more fist pumps than the average 90s classic.

If you are an ‘impress’ kind of person, take a moment to sit down. Think about your motivations – if you want to bake a cake for people or show kindness and compassion, do it…if you feel socially bound, don’t. I live in a village and my son attends the local school, some of the parents are lets say a little keen to get involved. I am not. If its in my sons interest, I’m there. If its not or of no interest to me, I’ll avoid it like I do day time TV. I couldn’t give a scooby doo what any of the other parents thinks of me…why? because I don’t have the luxury of time to think about them and when I do have time, I’d rather show kindness to those in my tribe. I don’t aspire to be the class ‘rep’ Mum and I don’t wish to meet up with them in the holidays, unless my sons wants to see his friends.

I do think good role modelling is essential to our little peoples lives, and so try to be the best me. This summer I am planning a series of ‘acts of kindness’ to others beyond and within our tribe to educate my son on being grateful for what we have, sharing and giving to those that don’t.

So please, if you are anxious about what others think of you, spend the energy of loving you a little more and I promise what others think will become irrelevant.

Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

Quote and wisdom from Plato. 

I collect something invisible – it’s sad but true. They are free and it stems from a game I use to play with myself when I was a little lady (yup I’m an only child with an imagination as big as the wardrobe door in Narnia) and it’s called Karma points. I collect them all of the time and a bonus is there is no storage involved: In my car I let people out of junctions, I buzz off of a busy one way street, I let people out of shops and all the while I’m collecting karma points for later in the day when my toddler is having a tantrum and the possibilities of me needing to claim in some tokens is high…it’s silly but in this whirling swirling crazy world – it helps me to be nice. In my humble opinion the twenty first century is losing this quality and kindness is essential. 

As parents we encourage it ‘use kind hands’ ‘make sure you share…Ahhh that’s kind’ and then as the biggest hypocrites going we often forget ourselves. 

Life beyond the fridge is pretty good for me most of the time and it’s worth remembering that most people do have it much tougher, be that health wise, financially or just because their partner acts like a part of the male anatomy usually found below the waiste line. 

So as you go about your daily duties, picking children up from various childcare facilities, groups and team activities, make time to let the single mum in the Ford estate out of the car park or the Dad on the edge of sanity in Tesco with twins on a Saturday morning pass with his trolley…because it might be you that needs those karma / kind tokens cashed in one day.

Thanks for reading and please continue to share the fridges positive vibes with friends and loved ones. Have an awesome week 🙂